How do you know if boyfriend/husband truly loves you?

Whygetmarried

New Member
Anyone felt like Bf/husband doesn't love you and is just going through the motion to get married, just like a normal life progression?
 


buddhabar

Active Member
Not sure what's your context here, but marriage is lifetime journey and not a milestone to clear like
what you mentioned, a life progression. It's important to understand marriage is not a conclusion
to a relationship. Infact, it's the beginning of 50 -60 years of commitment. It requires hell lot of
time investment , constant nurturing and recoveries ( after fights )
Everyone gets married on the a positive vibe with 100% affirmation of their decision, and yet there
are so many broken vows and marriages. If you gets marry while having doubts or 2nd thoughts...
 
That's the cookie cutter approach in Singapore - PSLE, O-levels, A-Levels/Poly, Uni ....then career, HDB appln, ROM .... it's a conveyor belt system ....

Maybe if you meet a non-Singaporean guy, the story might be different, just saying ....

We need to change our approach to courtship and marriage. those skills are not taught in schools. Communication skills between couples are more than "what can i get you for breakfast, lunch or dinner" ....
 

Whygetmarried

New Member
Thanks for your replies!! I am married for less than 4years but gradually I begin to feel that my husband married me only because it is a natural progression in life and out of his own needs.

When difficulties strike and I am at my lowest, he can easily say divorce because he don’t think “this” is what he signed up for or this is not what he wants or when angry can ask me to get out of the house.

All these made me think/feel that he married me only bcuz 1) marriage is a natural progression in his life; 2) of all the good things in a marriage and 3) what I can give him.. and not because he loves me, wants to be with me, grow old with me, protect me etc...
 
You're saying that your husband changed after marriage? Became cavalier towards the relationship whereas before marriage he was all into you?
 

arnoldchen

New Member
Anyone felt like Bf/husband doesn't love you and is just going through the motion to get married, just like a normal life progression?

i cant deny i married my wife like its a natural progression. having second tots now tbh.

but i also realised in life we dun get everything we want. i dunno if we are supposed to compromise and settle or YOLO
 

arnoldchen

New Member
Thanks for your replies!! I am married for less than 4years but gradually I begin to feel that my husband married me only because it is a natural progression in life and out of his own needs.

When difficulties strike and I am at my lowest, he can easily say divorce because he don’t think “this” is what he signed up for or this is not what he wants or when angry can ask me to get out of the house.

All these made me think/feel that he married me only bcuz 1) marriage is a natural progression in his life; 2) of all the good things in a marriage and 3) what I can give him.. and not because he loves me, wants to be with me, grow old with me, protect me etc...
this sounds like me. guilty lolx
 

newproject

Active Member
I also dont know if my wife truly love me.

Heck I'm not sure if truly love my wife. Maybe?

But not going to lose sleep over it.
 

Cloudia

New Member
one day you should just really get out of the house and agree to get divorce. all these things that he is saying and doing to hurt you shows that he has taken you for granted. There is a possibility that he says all these because he knows that you will not leave him for sure and that you are scared of losing him. If you are really tired of this, leave the house for real, go stay somewhere else and show him that you are not afraid to get divorce. ofcourse, there is a chance that he will come back to you and beg you for it. that is where you decide on your own whether to give him a second chance. if he does beg you to come back, dont make it easy for him to do that,otherwise for sure he will do the same again.
I do believe that in a relationship, we should be firm and show that what is not accepted when the other person behave a certain way. Do not let them take you lightly and cross the line. be strong, gambate!
 

newproject

Active Member
actually after married 7 years, I realize I love my wife more than she love me. I think she married me cos its was time.

Pretty obvious when the kids came.

But I'm fine with it.
 

raspberry76

New Member
Thanks for your replies!! I am married for less than 4years but gradually I begin to feel that my husband married me only because it is a natural progression in life and out of his own needs.

When difficulties strike and I am at my lowest, he can easily say divorce because he don’t think “this” is what he signed up for or this is not what he wants or when angry can ask me to get out of the house.

All these made me think/feel that he married me only bcuz 1) marriage is a natural progression in his life; 2) of all the good things in a marriage and 3) what I can give him.. and not because he loves me, wants to be with me, grow old with me, protect me etc...
There seem to be alot of guessing here. It seem to be all about you think and feel. Have you asked him right in the face whether he loves you ?

There is a severe communication breakdown. Don't guess and think. You can guess and think during dating times but marriage need you to be blunt with each other.
 

longroadahead

New Member
In Singapore the system is anti marriage and pro divorce. Don't bother taking marriage seriously. Those natural progression nonsense is bs.

In fact, best not to have children at all. Family court is a biased place full of injustice. Seen too many suffer as a result of family court.

Children have become the worst weapons anyone can imagine. It is legal to coach them to harm the other parent and none of the authorities will even bother to help.
 

raspberry76

New Member
In Singapore the system is anti marriage and pro divorce. Don't bother taking marriage seriously. Those natural progression nonsense is bs.

In fact, best not to have children at all. Family court is a biased place full of injustice. Seen too many suffer as a result of family court.

Children have become the worst weapons anyone can imagine. It is legal to coach them to harm the other parent and none of the authorities will even bother to help.
This is so negative and irresponsible advice.

Maybe you have suffered from a bad divorce yourself ? It is not right for you to advise others not to take marriage seriously.
 

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