Help....Beginning to stray....

T

truegal

New Member
Hi recently i know of a married man...he was very nice to me....be it in office or when we were out together....
It started off when he initiated me to go out for lunch....i rejected for a few months...but eventually went out with him recently...

We went out tog and started smsing each other....his replies were sometimes very slow...but i know that's because he's a family man...

what shld i do....
i am worried i will be a third party....
 


Truegal,
I guess that you're addicted to his special attention on you.

Are you thinking too much into this matter? Have he told you that he's interested in you? A guy can be nice to a lady because he's simply gentlemanly and friendly. Being nice doesn't necessarily means that he likes you :P

Why not spend your interest and time on other more worthy, single men?
 
Did this married man expressed his feelings for you? Try to find out before you step into any relationship with him? Did you both do anything when going out together?

Dont get involved with any married man, you wont get anything out of the relationship unless he is halfway divorced.
 
being frank here... its not what u should do and what u want to do. Humans are emotional blah blah blah...

if u want to 'eat outside', then wipe your mouth clean and be prepared to face whatever the consequences.

u r an adult. its your life, live the ways u want it. Choosing to be swayed by your emotions is also a personal choice. If u REALLY DON'T WANT to be a 3rd party, then u should already know what to do. What others advise or tell u to do doesn't really matter actually. Its what you want.
 
Being third party is nvr gog to be easy, possibilities include his wife (with kids?)coming after you, or even if you manage to avoid any detection, could you bear to feel the guilt of destroying a family?

If you already feel any emotion attachmt to him, maybe you shld try to distance yourself away before you are too deep in it.. It is not gog to be easy for you, but if you don't do it, consequences could be worse..
 
No...he did not express any special feelings to me directly....
we only chatted and went ktv once while we were out tog...
when he is off, he will come and fetch me and send me to and fro work...
he will drop me chocolates in office and knowing i don't take my bkfast...he will buy me a cup of milo every morning....

I dropped hints that we can only be platonic friends...but yes...i am emotionaly attached to him i think...because he is everywhere around me...
we worked tog...eat tog...go home tog...
i am beginning to feel worried...
he is 10yrs older than i am...
 
From what you say, I am quite sure he wants more than platonic friendship..so now its up to you.. Giving up now is easier than later..If you let your emotion to guide you, then u must prepare for any consequences..btw, hw old are you?
 
i told one of my friend about this...and he said i am too friendly to him...it might also be me who gave him the wrong idea...

i am single...but he is married...
is this meeting the right person at the wrong time?
.....
 
You are still young, he is much more experience than you, you don't even know he is sincere to you or just playing with your feeling.

Take Green's advice,look around for better singles. try to pull yourself out of the mess thats waiting to happen..
 
it happen in my ex company..i saw it n i know the ending wont be good.guy is married wif 2 kids.. gal is single..it affect their work ..alway see them intercom each other ...guy even use OT n boss as "shield" to bluff wife.. guy care for family 1st rather than the gal..can see the gal crying most of the time too...

watever its is being a 3rd party is just wasting ur time..u can only enjoy his company his care n concern..u wont have happiness.u wont get urslf a name n status . i dont think this is the kind of life u wan to lead lo..anyway u r still young..
 
Truegal,

It doesn't really matter now who is giving who the wrong idea. I wouldn't even call this meeting the right person at the wrong time cos you have just started and it is always the sweetest during the initial phase. Hence, your judgement of whether this is the right person or not would be biased.

Anyway, the way I looked at it is you are enjoying the kind of attention you are getting from him. This kind of attention is something that you can get from any guy during the courtship stage. So please, unless you belong to any of the categories below, if not, please steer clear of this time bomb.
a) You are out for a short fling
b) You can live with the guilt, heartaches later
 
is not even meeting the right person at the wrong time .

to me is meeting the ____ person at the wrong place and time.

seriously if u dun step back ... chances are . u will sacrifice your career sooner or later
 
If you know very well that nothing will come out of the relationship, you shd stop seeing him. Working together is no choice because both of you need your career. You can refuse to go out with him together and find your own friends. This way you wont be so emotionally attached to him,
 
Yes...and i feel the guilt even now when we are together...
i will try not to go out with him alone...
But i am so stressed over the things that he did for me...how am i going to tell him to stay away from me...
he is a manager, and i am so afraid things might turn ugly if i am too direct...
 
Good that you are sensible enuff to know the right thing to do..
No need to be confrontational with him, just slowly distance.. its not going to be easy so you have to be firm for your own sake..
 
truegal
u dun have to tell him straight off the face.He is mature enough to sense it once u know how 2 stay away from him..
 
Truegal,
You don't have to tell him directly to stay away from you. Just be professional when dealing with him in office. When he asks you out, reject him politely.

Trust me, he won't dare to make things ugly between you and him. He still has his image to upkeep in the office! More likely, he will just give up on you and change his prey target to other lady LOL.
 
Ya, i agree with smileguy. Third party = no status, no name. I was with a married man last time too but the feeling was TERRIBLE! u'll have to go through hurtful, sadness path by your own but NOT him! Leave him asap to prevent unpleasant experience like me last time.
 
Like what the others said, unless you want to be The Other Woman or wreck your career, from now onwards, talk to him only on a professional basis. STOP going out with him alone (not even a lunch date) or communicating with him on a personal basis. And stop taking rides from him. It is not that difficult to reject him without blatantly telling him off. Make lunch appointments with other colleagues; go out for movies, shopping etc.with your friends/family/colleagues after work, buy a tin of milo and put it in the pantry and make your own milo every morning. Very soon, he will get the hint.

Better still, ask for a transfer to other depts if possible so as to minimize any contact with him.
 
Its nice to receive attention from a guy, especially if there's chemistry between both of you, otherwise you wont go out and sms him at all.

But, pls think of the consquences. U are getting involved with a married man. Think of the wife who didnt know abt this (just imagine a 3rd party gal stepping into ur parent's marriage. how does that feel as a daughter?). Think abt ur reputation ard ur family, frds and colleagues. Its permanent image once u are being labelled a 3rd party.

Think twice before u sink deeper. Cut it off now before its too late. Just my 2 cents worth.
 
Truegal,

Let's face it. You like the married guy. It's clear from your first post.

But you want to make yourself feel less guilty by fearing that you will be a 3rd party, or that you will try not to go out with him alone.

The advice I can offer here is:

Did he express explicitly that he like you? Or are his actions clear that he is coming strong unto you? Like doing things he shouldn't do as a married man. If not, maybe he is just being friendly and you misread his actions.

My advice is for you to stay away from him instead of breaking up a marriage. The only exception is perhaps if he is already divorced and both of you have discussed all the details to want to be together.

It's as simple as that. Do not let your denial get in the way.
 
Can you afford to pay the price?

It's like the Matrix. Red pill, Blue pill. Once chosen, no turning back.

You want to play this kind of game, you've got to expect the worst at end game.

Are you ready to lose all?
 
Hi Truegal,

God determines who walk into your life at certain point in your life....but you determine who you refuse to let go.....who you let to stay.....
 
God determines?
If someone goes into pub looking for ONS or online chat to befriend in search for an affair... then is it God that determine really? The responsibility isn't something so spiritual. Its within what we wants. God gives us the choice no?
 
Milo on e rocks,

God bring the man to allow her to make him stray.
Else in life it's so boring! And She still didnt thank god! Damm it!#$%
 
This guys so good ar...
1)drop chocolate at her work place
2)Pick her up from work.....

Y didnt this guy donate money to the poor 80yr old ah pek cleaning tables at food court?
Y he never help the aunite collect old newpaper??

Then he so nice to Truegal??? isnt it obious?
he looking to up u!! And u still so native! COme here and ask more stupid qs. I think, in this world, nothing is free!!
 
sammyboy forum traffic overload leh...
so i come here instead..

Would u ladies like to call police and catch me?
;-)
 
Hunky...dont need to tell us you from sammyboy lah...

We already know.

There are certain characteristics of regular sammyboy forum members which we already seen in you.


PS : the correct spelling is "naive" NOT "native"...you spelled it wrong a few times already; thought I'll saved you from further embarrassment.
 
aiyah, my english is no good, also i dont bother to corect. pple understand can liao....

I have the blood/genes of a sammyboy inside me.
But i born in it... cannot change. Else my life will be miserable.
 
Crude being one of the "qualities"
Unhealthy obsession with "sex, pussy, neh neh"
Little respect for women
Too full of oneself for no apparent reason...

Just some of the characteristics...
 
eh... i not crude lah!
Maybe abit tiko only.

Woman are more cruel.
Esp when u know them better, their horn will show up!
Then u'll know.
 
omg.....sm....stop it....i dun wanna wake my family up with my laughter can?

wah lau eh..sibeh jia lat...crude n cruel oso duno the difference....
 
powderful...to be able to ascertain some of the common characteristics of sammyboy people, i guess you must have been spending quite a bit of time there too right?
 
woman are great... i really thanks heaven to create woman.... i just hope my next woman will hv kind n pure, heart, soul, and sense.....
 

Truegal,

Any progress? This nice guy got continue dropping chocolates, picking u up from work and still dont expect anything else from u?
 
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