Petrina, don't think too much or worry too much lah. Old folks tend to be like that...especially since they have been alone for so long. It is out of concern, but also, coz they realise that their kids are no longer going to be under their control anymore - old enough to get married, not a kid liaoz. so they need to do "something" to "maintain the balance in their favour". That's how their mind works lah. So you have to tell yourself not to allow yourself to get caught by such "traps". Just listen and in one ear, out the other...
Maybe one day, you call her and ask her out. Maybe that would break her habit of calling you...and you might find that she calls you out less?
For my wedding, my MIL also didn't come for the GDL. In fact, my hubby came by himself. She only told me to tell hubby whatever my parents want and hubby will go get it done. She said hubby will settle it all by himself. I looked at it in this way: she wanted to show others that she's not so attached to hubby, and also she wanted to "see" if hubby can do things properly without her help - like, if he makes some mistakes, she'll have the excuse to say things like, "see lah, need mummy's help then can do. next time how to survive with wife" etc...kinda comments. So, based on what I see from my cousins and friends, I just told my hubby what to do etc lorh. Ended up, it went quite smoothly in my opinion (his grandma also quite impressed with how he dressed up her baskets for the GDL - he didn't remove the deco when he returned the baskets to grandma). Now, MIL does different kind of things to get hubby's attention (think coz now she realises that hubby is able to be on his own without her help kinda thing). So off and on, we do things to show her that we need her help so she dun feel neglected. Gotta realise that they are in a different stage of life now and their minds work differently.
Your MIL sounds a bit like my FIL...heehee..also talk and talk and repeat and repeat so many times. But it's also coz he's lonely lah. My hubby is middle of 3 bros, but the parents still like that lorh. Can't be helped lah. I just orh, yah yah...nod head. laugh and try to bring conversation to other topics.
You worry abt ur MIL's dressing...I think that really shd be the least of your worries lah. It's her son's wedding, yes...but at least she's there attending it. My FIL, it's HIS son's wedding, but he didn't even turn up. He quietly went M'sia the day before. Till today, I have never served him tea - not that he minds or cares lah...coz he did give me an AP for the wedding and he still talks a lot to me now. hehs. It's just my FIL. He wun turn up for the wedding one lorh. no matter what everybody tried to do, he just wun turn up. I was afraid that pple will gossip etc, that how come my FIL not at my wedding etc...then pai seh mah...for all of us. So, shifted the focus to other things like, mingled around a lot more during the dinner, gave the kids little goodie bags to occupy them (the older folks see small kids play ard, they also tend to focus on the kids and not on other unimportant stuff), put a couple of polariod cameras on the tables with the gossipy relatives to keep them occupied and well, it's just something different (for them) to distract them from FIL's absence. So, you can also do small little different things to distract pple so they dun focus on ur MIL's dressing, shd she really decide to wear what she's most comfy in.
So, instead of focusing on what SHOULD or SHOULD NOT be done (by the traditional standards), I think we should focus on what makes others around us happy...Of course, we want to be happy ourselves also, but what is our happiness based on? Following certain traditions to a T or "rules" prescribed by society? Are we able to accept any slight variations (esp if the variations are minor)?