well, at least you gals are better than me...I can understand only a little hainanese now...I used to be able to (could even argue with grandpa last time), but now...I'm not sure if I understand grandma correctly. hahaha.
Your AD is abt 1 year away...I started my preps abt 1 yr before my AD too...
Yah, initially I also felt quite fed up with the preps. Then slowly, my expectations lowered (probably sian until it automatically lowered, or after a while, u realise it's not worth getting fed up). Don't worry, things will fall into place...
Whatever it is, dun stress...if you like, you can "talk" over here, and we'll try to help or encourage where we can...
Last sun, my FH's parents asked him why don't want a hotel banquet... If no money, they can pay for us...Blah Blah Blah... His father didn't like the venue we chose for our solemnization cum high tea... blah blah blah...
All my efforts had gone to waste, know what I mean.
I told my FH that either they agree to our plan or let's forget about marrying.
It's our wedding, we want to do it our way. Before we started to plan for anything (& out of respect), we did ask them whether they want us to throw a banquet or not, they said up to us liao. And now, all these crap!
Perhaps can try to explain (patiently) why you guys dun want a hotel banquet, but put in all the positive reasons to show that you guys are also thinking for them when you decided not to have hotel banquet.
eg. "Since you have said it's up to us whether to throw a banquet or not, we have decided to go for a high tea because:-
(1) banquet would end quite late for the guests, high tea easier to mingle around and talk (more qin1 qie4), vs banquet the 10 pple just sit together at a round table;
(2) at a high tea reception everybody is in a more relaxed mood;
(3) assure them that high tea still need to dress up quite a bit and still can look glam [coz that generation may be thinking that high tea = dress sloppily = poor, kinda thing];
(4) the food from the venue/caterer you guys have chosen is very nice / healthier than hotel food [which can be quite starchy];
(5) it's not that you have no money for hotel banquet, butyou guys would rather save up that amount for their grandchild's future....
(6) your both groups of friends / your (Nellie's) relatives prefer high-tea to hotel dinner banquet [if they say "why listen to ur frens - it's ur wedding", then you guys can also say "exactly...! it's our wedding, so that's how we want to do our wedding..."]
things like that lah... Say all these with a smile though...hehs. coz if ILs see us black face with them, it will never end manz...
Or if they insist, perhaps you guys can suggest to them that have a small dinner banquet for family only. Your friends and ur family (bride's family) don't like banquet style. Then maybe they will realise that it's not so worth to have a banquet just for their own side and their own friends.
That "ultimatum" you issued ur FH may not work...it might just end up making things worse. Coz then the parties involved may remember this one issue, and the r'ship is not good. Stress your FH out also, coz he caught in between leh. Some pple of that generation is like that. Can't change them. Can only change our expectations. So perhaps you guys can start by reasoning with his parents first...and see how it goes? Maybe within the next few months, someone might invite his parents for a high-tea reception too, then they'll change their opinions...
Dun feel sian...there's a solution one...Impt thing is also, what's ur FH view on this whole thing lorh.
Nellie, dont stress too much.... I agree with CSI Fan. Best to leave it to your FH...t's always easier for him to settle his parents. Now a bit tired... so wont 'chat' too much. Next post then chat a bit more. Let us know what happen, kay... cheer up, dont be sian. Where are u intending to hold ur solemnisation then? What feng shui is not good?
Hey Nellie, glad it's sorted. Dont feel bad... put it behind you and look forward to the other preps. From what I've heard and seen from people around me, weddings are always like that - marriage of 2 families rather than just 2 persons. My future MIL is lovely but sometimes I do still feel a bit annoyed... maybe cos of different way of thinking lah . At least your venue's lovely. I'm having a dinner in a small town in M'sia... and even tho we're willing to pay for nice hotel with nice food... there's no such thing around! *faint* The hotel we end up choosing dont even have seat covers.. urgh. And when I checked it out the last time, the table cloth has foodstained marks and the only deco is a tiny dusty pot of fake flowers on the VIP table. But no choice.. the only decent venue available. So now cracking my brains on how to beautify it a little.. hahaha
Yes, communication is very important. Between spouses, family and even friends! At least now you know where they are coming from...
Oh, the Arts House...didn't know that's the ex-Parliament House. Hmm...but major impt decisions were also made there leh...so, also quite symbolic. Marriage is an impt decision... It all depends on how one wants to view it lah...so, if you know your FFIL is like that, you can approach it from that angle..."Major impt decisions were passed there too. And those decisions have benefitted us (Singaporeans etc). They argue, but it's constructive arguments to make decisions to improve life - not like Taiwan where they literally fight." kinda angle...
hi all, chanced upon this thread.. im 1/2hainanese (my ma's a hainanese, my pa's a cantonese) & my hub is a pure hainanese!! i understand but cant speak. needless to say, hainanese men are most round and fatz.. haha.
Thanks Nellie & CSI, yar.. i think i'll get a local florist to do some floral stands along the aisle. And I'm roping in my big family (mum, grandma, aunts, cousins etc) to do DIY projects for the centrepieces. I reckon the centrepieces dont really need to be too complicated since they'll be taken away once the food starts getting served. I'm also going to DIY the menu card and table number to match my invites. Well, there's no way it'll look like a posh hotel but I think at least wont look too shabby lah
Wow, CSI, you're very clever!! Yar, Nellie, you shd say that the parliment house is where all impt decision re the country is made. It's an honour to get married there and in someway you'll be part of the history! So Nellie, I take it that your main reception will be the high-tea and not a dinner then? CSI, your AD is a month and half before mine, hv you got your venue sorted?
Hi Janf! Hmm... hainanese men are round and fat? Quite a lot lah.. hahaha. But my uncle and brother are like beanstalk leh. I've heard that hainanese men hv flat heads (at the back), wonder how true that is?!
hmmm, DIY-ing the menu card and table number is a cool idea...that sounds good!
Yap, will be having my banquet at Marriott. Actually, we booked the banquet before we asked parents for their "idea"...coz we figured that since I'm the eldest, it would be quite likely that the relatives would be expecting a banquet. Although my parents did say before, "you want to just go ROM, then go honeymoon, also can...". But, we decided...forget it. Knowing the aunties all over...just get a banquet to avoid unecessary "chatter"...
Hi Janf!! *waves*
Hmm...round and fatz ah? Well, my uncle is (heehee)...but my dad and some other uncles and cousins are thin and tall manz...hahahaha. Maybe after a certain age. hahaha.
hi gals!, my ILs are oso round round one.. prob is inherited bah.. keke. i see the gals here are BTBs ya.. do let me know if i can be of any help in ur coming preps.. the most impt 3stuffs to settle are (in order) banquet venue, AD PG/VG & BS.. the rest of nitty gritty will fall in pl over the mths.. now i miss the process of it aft my wedding.. btw, i juz came back from HM last wk.. =)
Nellie, sorrie ah..not going to be much help here. I'm rubbish at bargaining.
Just wondering if anyone has recommendations on videographers? I'm low on budget cos initially wasnt planning on having videography. I've invested a bit on photography, but would still like a documentation of the day in motion so that maybe I can see it again when i'm old.. kekeke. Problem is I dont live in Sg.. kinda hard to meet up with them to see their portfolio, so have to rely on recommendations and samples they email me.
heard much about Don from Forest Productions and Yee Wei from Ciderjuice. Probably can check them out. I've freelancer friends too if you're interested. I'm just gonna ask friends to take for us to save money
nellie - i juz went for a rom at peony jade over the wkend and JP was david loh.. tink hes retiring in june.. u can consider chan kai yau. hes the next popular JP and i had him for my solemnisation. very sincere old man.. he speaks wif conviction..
nellie - its nvr early! coz mr chan is super hot.. call him to ask if hes avail on ur AD and the specific time, at least he can pen it down in his diary ya. the documentation etc will only come 3mths b4 ur AD. tat part u dun hv to worry for now..
Updates on me... just spent the weekend making my DIY table number cards for the M'sia dinner. Finish le.. yeah! Will scan and show you girls later. But I think I've made the cards too big, so I think will ask the florist to incoporate it into the floral centrepiece rather than place it separately. Also, want to ask you girls... do you know any company that might rent out seat covers? Like logistics/catering company.... I know there are a lot of such companies in US, but not sure about S'pore. Might be a long haul, but if any of you gals know, please let me know. Thanks!