Hainanese Brides, anyone???


kitty_li

Active Member
hi Nellie,
my AD is in 18Nov06. Urs? How's ur prep?

Hi Misty...me also pure hainanese...but my command of the dialect is....half-past-6 ah...hahaha. When's ur AD?
 

hilsywong

New Member
Hi CSI fan, mine's on 30 Dec 06. Hehehe... i can understand hainanese pretty well... but dont think anyone can understand me when i open my mouth! haha
 

havavi

Member
Hi all,
I m pure hainanese too! but marrying a teochew.
now i can only understand, but cant speaks hainanese. surprise to find this thread.
 

kitty_li

Active Member
hihi,
well, at least you gals are better than me...I can understand only a little hainanese now...I used to be able to (could even argue with grandpa last time), but now...I'm not sure if I understand grandma correctly. hahaha.

How's everybody's preps?
 

hilsywong

New Member
Hello my fellow 'hai-nam-mais'!! *grin*
It's nice to meet everyone here... i used to be the only hainanese in class. We're probably one of the few 'pure breeds' left! hehehe

Anyway, preps ah? Shld be going alright I guess... got the gown, photographer, venue sorted. I'm not really bothered by it just yet :D What bout you ladies?
 

zapzap

New Member
Hi there,

I'm a pure hainanese too. My AD will be on 28th Mar 2007. I can speak hainanese but so so only.

I'm so fedup with my preps. Sian!!!

Now don't feel like getting married liao.
 

kitty_li

Active Member
Hi Nellie,
Your AD is abt 1 year away...I started my preps abt 1 yr before my AD too...

Yah, initially I also felt quite fed up with the preps. Then slowly, my expectations lowered (probably sian until it automatically lowered, or after a while, u realise it's not worth getting fed up). Don't worry, things will fall into place...

Whatever it is, dun stress...if you like, you can "talk" over here, and we'll try to help or encourage where we can...
happy.gif
 

zapzap

New Member
Last sun, my FH's parents asked him why don't want a hotel banquet... If no money, they can pay for us...Blah Blah Blah... His father didn't like the venue we chose for our solemnization cum high tea... blah blah blah...

All my efforts had gone to waste, know what I mean.

I told my FH that either they agree to our plan or let's forget about marrying.

It's our wedding, we want to do it our way. Before we started to plan for anything (& out of respect), we did ask them whether they want us to throw a banquet or not, they said up to us liao. And now, all these crap!

I feel damned sian now!
 

kitty_li

Active Member
Perhaps can try to explain (patiently) why you guys dun want a hotel banquet, but put in all the positive reasons to show that you guys are also thinking for them when you decided not to have hotel banquet.

eg. "Since you have said it's up to us whether to throw a banquet or not, we have decided to go for a high tea because:-
(1) banquet would end quite late for the guests, high tea easier to mingle around and talk (more qin1 qie4), vs banquet the 10 pple just sit together at a round table;
(2) at a high tea reception everybody is in a more relaxed mood;
(3) assure them that high tea still need to dress up quite a bit and still can look glam [coz that generation may be thinking that high tea = dress sloppily = poor, kinda thing];
(4) the food from the venue/caterer you guys have chosen is very nice / healthier than hotel food [which can be quite starchy];
(5) it's not that you have no money for hotel banquet, butyou guys would rather save up that amount for their grandchild's future....
(6) your both groups of friends / your (Nellie's) relatives prefer high-tea to hotel dinner banquet [if they say "why listen to ur frens - it's ur wedding", then you guys can also say "exactly...! it's our wedding, so that's how we want to do our wedding..."]
happy.gif


things like that lah... Say all these with a smile though...hehs. coz if ILs see us black face with them, it will never end manz...

Or if they insist, perhaps you guys can suggest to them that have a small dinner banquet for family only. Your friends and ur family (bride's family) don't like banquet style. Then maybe they will realise that it's not so worth to have a banquet just for their own side and their own friends.

That "ultimatum" you issued ur FH may not work...it might just end up making things worse. Coz then the parties involved may remember this one issue, and the r'ship is not good. Stress your FH out also, coz he caught in between leh. Some pple of that generation is like that. Can't change them. Can only change our expectations. So perhaps you guys can start by reasoning with his parents first...and see how it goes? Maybe within the next few months, someone might invite his parents for a high-tea reception too, then they'll change their opinions...
happy.gif


Dun feel sian...there's a solution one...Impt thing is also, what's ur FH view on this whole thing lorh.
 

zapzap

New Member
Hi CSI Fan,

We'll be meeting his parents on Sat. I'm going to leave it to my FH to settle.

I just hate one thing : Comparing our wedding with their daughter's (my FH's sister got married last year).

they also don't like the wedding venue we chose too. citing 'feng shui' as the reason.

Before that, we did choose a hotel we like and they said the food is no good. Wow lau!!! thanks to their 'up to you'.

thanks for all your suggestions. After marriage, we will be staying with them and take our time to look for a flat (initially). Now I die die want to look for our own nest asap if possible.
 

hilsywong

New Member
Hey ladies!

Nellie, dont stress too much.... I agree with CSI Fan. Best to leave it to your FH...t's always easier for him to settle his parents. Now a bit tired... so wont 'chat' too much. Next post then chat a bit more. Let us know what happen, kay... cheer up, dont be sian. Where are u intending to hold ur solemnisation then? What feng shui is not good?

CSI, what bout you? How's ur preps getting along?
 

zapzap

New Member
Hi Gals,

It's settled.

My future-in-laws were calm for the discussion but my FH flared up during the dinner and I felt very bad, expecially towards my ILs.

My future-FIL sort of like 'pouring out' his unhappiness of his son to me. My future-MIL was quiet thru out the dinner. Both of them are quite sad on their son's attitude.

I think they don't understand each other and that's why they have many misunderstandings - lack of communication.

Complicated issues!

Misty,

My venue is the Arts House (ex-Parliament house), future-FIL said that place was where all the MPs 'argued' so it doesn't symbolised harmony.
 

hilsywong

New Member
Hey Nellie, glad it's sorted. Dont feel bad... put it behind you and look forward to the other preps. From what I've heard and seen from people around me, weddings are always like that - marriage of 2 families rather than just 2 persons. My future MIL is lovely but sometimes I do still feel a bit annoyed... maybe cos of different way of thinking lah :p. At least your venue's lovely. I'm having a dinner in a small town in M'sia... and even tho we're willing to pay for nice hotel with nice food... there's no such thing around! *faint* The hotel we end up choosing dont even have seat covers.. urgh. And when I checked it out the last time, the table cloth has foodstained marks and the only deco is a tiny dusty pot of fake flowers on the VIP table. But no choice.. the only decent venue available. So now cracking my brains on how to beautify it a little.. hahaha
 

zapzap

New Member
Hi Misty,

I have a hard time searching for my venues. I've looked at hotels but they seem to be reluctant to do my biz. Cos high tea receptions doesn't generate much income for them compared to banquets.

For your case, you can look for those 'florists' who do venue decors. So it'll save you from cracking your brains...
 

kitty_li

Active Member
Hi Nellie,
Good to hear that it's settled.
happy.gif
Yes, communication is very important. Between spouses, family and even friends! At least now you know where they are coming from...
happy.gif


Oh, the Arts House...didn't know that's the ex-Parliament House. Hmm...but major impt decisions were also made there leh...so, also quite symbolic. Marriage is an impt decision... It all depends on how one wants to view it lah...so, if you know your FFIL is like that, you can approach it from that angle..."Major impt decisions were passed there too. And those decisions have benefitted us (Singaporeans etc). They argue, but it's constructive arguments to make decisions to improve life - not like Taiwan where they literally fight." kinda angle...
happy.gif
 

kitty_li

Active Member
Hi MIsty,
How about doing your own floral deco? I'm not sure what kind of florists they have in M'sia and what's the culture like in that town. Maybe you can spruce up your wedding favours...?
happy.gif
 

janf

New Member
hi all, chanced upon this thread.. im 1/2hainanese (my ma's a hainanese, my pa's a cantonese) & my hub is a pure hainanese!! i understand but cant speak. needless to say, hainanese men are most round and fatz.. haha.

i juz got married in jan06.. =)
 

hilsywong

New Member
Thanks Nellie & CSI, yar.. i think i'll get a local florist to do some floral stands along the aisle. And I'm roping in my big family (mum, grandma, aunts, cousins etc) to do DIY projects for the centrepieces. I reckon the centrepieces dont really need to be too complicated since they'll be taken away once the food starts getting served. I'm also going to DIY the menu card and table number to match my invites. Well, there's no way it'll look like a posh hotel but I think at least wont look too shabby lah :p

Wow, CSI, you're very clever!! Yar, Nellie, you shd say that the parliment house is where all impt decision re the country is made. It's an honour to get married there and in someway you'll be part of the history! So Nellie, I take it that your main reception will be the high-tea and not a dinner then? CSI, your AD is a month and half before mine, hv you got your venue sorted?

Hi Janf! Hmm... hainanese men are round and fat? Quite a lot lah.. hahaha. But my uncle and brother are like beanstalk leh. I've heard that hainanese men hv flat heads (at the back), wonder how true that is?!
 

kitty_li

Active Member
hi misty,
hmmm, DIY-ing the menu card and table number is a cool idea...that sounds good!
happy.gif


Yap, will be having my banquet at Marriott. Actually, we booked the banquet before we asked parents for their "idea"...coz we figured that since I'm the eldest, it would be quite likely that the relatives would be expecting a banquet. Although my parents did say before, "you want to just go ROM, then go honeymoon, also can...". But, we decided...forget it. Knowing the aunties all over...just get a banquet to avoid unecessary "chatter"...

Hi Janf!! *waves*
Hmm...round and fatz ah? Well, my uncle is (heehee)...but my dad and some other uncles and cousins are thin and tall manz...hahahaha. Maybe after a certain age. hahaha.
 

janf

New Member
hi gals!, my ILs are oso round round one.. prob is inherited bah.. keke. i see the gals here are BTBs ya.. do let me know if i can be of any help in ur coming preps.. the most impt 3stuffs to settle are (in order) banquet venue, AD PG/VG & BS.. the rest of nitty gritty will fall in pl over the mths.. now i miss the process of it aft my wedding.. btw, i juz came back from HM last wk.. =)
 

kitty_li

Active Member
wow janf, where did you go for HM? Yah...will prob need to tap a bit on your experience in the planning process manz...Was yours the traditional ceremony or church ceremony?
 

janf

New Member
csi - went spain/portugal for 13days.. nice place.. mine was the trad ceremony..

when are the BTBs in this thread getting hitch?? this oct i oredi got 3red bombs coming liao.. tink oct, nov, dec are super hot mths for marrying this yr.. keke.
 

zapzap

New Member
Hi Hi,

CSI - you said the same thing as the marketing officer of arts house.

Misty - I'm skipping the dinner, find it too troublesome. So on my AD, it'll be solemnization cum high tea.

Janf - my side ones are all tall and big size (like shangdong ppl),not round and fat.
 

kitty_li

Active Member
Hahahaha....is it!?? hahaha
In case you were wondering, NOPE, I don't work at Arts House. heehee....
happy.gif
I work in finance.
 

zapzap

New Member
If you're thinking of switching job, you can consider working at the Arts House. Ha Ha Ha

Anyway, how are everybody's preparations? I'll be meeting my caterer to 'discuss' my package.

Anybody has any experience on bargaining with caterers?
 

kitty_li

Active Member
I guess for bargaining, it's always about getting what you want at the cheapest possible price. If they can't budge on the price, then ask for more things (even if you dun really need / want).

Caterers....I have no idea. Prob ask for server at your recep, better plates & cups...
happy.gif
 

onebigday

New Member
hi gals, just came across this thread.. i'm a half-hainanese, marrying a pure hainanese too :p

nellie, i'm looking at catering now too... who have u shortlisted?
 

hilsywong

New Member
Hi csy, nice to meet another hainanese gal
happy.gif
. When's your wedding?

Nellie, sorrie ah..not going to be much help here. I'm rubbish at bargaining.

Just wondering if anyone has recommendations on videographers? I'm low on budget cos initially wasnt planning on having videography. I've invested a bit on photography, but would still like a documentation of the day in motion :p so that maybe I can see it again when i'm old.. kekeke. Problem is I dont live in Sg.. kinda hard to meet up with them to see their portfolio, so have to rely on recommendations and samples they email me.
 

onebigday

New Member
thanks misty. my AD's on 4 Nov this year
happy.gif


heard much about Don from Forest Productions and Yee Wei from Ciderjuice. Probably can check them out. I've freelancer friends too if you're interested. I'm just gonna ask friends to take for us to save money
happy.gif
 

janf

New Member
morning gals..

wah, so csy oso sama sama like me, 1/2hainam mai!

my AD was in jan06. PG+VG was from InJackStudio.. prob misty can chk it out too.. www.injackstudio.com

i heard of don b4.. oso not bad..
 

hilsywong

New Member
Good morning ladies,

Thanks cys and janf, I've checked with don previously, he's not free on my AD leh... but I'll check with Ciderjuice and InJack. Thanks!
 

zapzap

New Member
Hello All 'Ah mais',

Will be asking my buyer friend for help. Ha ha ha!!! She has more experience than me in 'bargaining'. Anyway, she'll be handling my caterering matters on my AD.

The caterer I'm engaging is Lavish Dine. My company has been engaging them for most events. Their food is not bad and their presentation is very well done.

You can check out their website:

www.lavish.com.sg

Got my photographer & videographer for my AD too.

If you gals need their contacts, let me know.
 

zapzap

New Member
He's taken??? that's fast!

Now I have headache looking for a JP. Wanted Mr David Loh to be my JP but he'll be retiring soon. So disappointing...
 

janf

New Member
nellie - i juz went for a rom at peony jade over the wkend and JP was david loh.. tink hes retiring in june.. u can consider chan kai yau. hes the next popular JP and i had him for my solemnisation. very sincere old man.. he speaks wif conviction..
 

janf

New Member
nellie - its nvr early! coz mr chan is super hot.. call him to ask if hes avail on ur AD and the specific time, at least he can pen it down in his diary ya. the documentation etc will only come 3mths b4 ur AD. tat part u dun hv to worry for now..
 

hilsywong

New Member
CSY, are you still looking for PG? You might like to check out this website: http://www.wpja.com/wedding_photojournalists/international/asia/singapore/

Updates on me... just spent the weekend making my DIY table number cards for the M'sia dinner. Finish le.. yeah! Will scan and show you girls later. But I think I've made the cards too big, so I think will ask the florist to incoporate it into the floral centrepiece rather than place it separately. Also, want to ask you girls... do you know any company that might rent out seat covers? Like logistics/catering company.... I know there are a lot of such companies in US, but not sure about S'pore. Might be a long haul, but if any of you gals know, please let me know. Thanks!
 


onebigday

New Member
hi misty, i've seen the site b4... problem is some of them already booked on my AD & some too expensive... problem ah.. haha..

think most caterers or florists would be able to provide chair covers.
 

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