Christian Brides


Oops Lilic

Sorry... Will update & save first k? Maybe u girls have to wait till I'm back on Mon. Going for holiday on Fri.. Heehee
 
Hi Blue Sky, To confirm, CCC is now call Victory Family Center. I think they have two branches. One is in Tampiness. I used to be from that church too. But can't attend it regularly cos of my family persecution. My dad wanted to kick me out. And the whole family started to blame me for dividing the family.... Christian were scolded and chased away by my dad. As a new Christian, and without anyone beside me, I'm very lost. But thinking back, I really treasured those days. I learned to cling on to God and cried my heart to HIM. 7 years later, my twin sister got to know the Lord. Then, my younger brother also got saved 2-3 yrs later. Now, I am attending Renewal, a Chinese-speaking church. Part of the reason is to be able to share in Mandarin so that I know how to share with my parents. Even though they are not saved yet, but they are very open to go for my church activities and have very good relationship with some of my church mates. I believed in His timing, they will come to know the Lord.

I just started attending my PMC last week. I am very encouraged when my pastor told me that one new couple is joining us. However, one of them is a non-believer. They may not be able to marry in church but my pastor wanted them to attend the PMC, to expose the NC with God's word. At the same time, we may be able to share God's love with her. In the end, they didn't turn up. But I am glad that the church is open and really helping those that are struggling with such issues.
 
Hi all, I am new to this page. Was just feeling troubled tonight because after me and fh planned our church wedding, we came to know that his parents (nonchristians) are unhappy about this and wish us to drop the church wedding or they will not be attending.
I was surfing around tonight when I came to this page and I truly feel that Christians have to go though these struggles to maintain their faith.
Anyway, I do not feel what to do now only can pray about it. I was feeling so frustrated the other day that I almost felt like dropping the whole wedding!
 
Tambourina,

THANKS SO MUCH for the actual day events. Extremely detailed. Goodness, I didn't know it takes so long to fetch a bride to and fro. And I overlooked the fact that it takes some time for guests to arrive and settle down. I always arrive quite promptly for church weddings and leave about 30 mins after the reception. So I thought 1h 30mins is good enough.

Hi Ericia,

Your message drops on me like a bomb. You're right. Old non-christian people may not take to the idea of a church wedding well. I didn't even check with my parents if they are comfortable with that. I'll check with them if a solemnisation ceremony is alright with them some time later.
I know how it feels like to want to give up the whole wedding matter. It just feels like there are too many demands to meet - and they are not just ours (and it's supposed to be our own wedding)! I suppose the idea is very new to them and they got a culture shock. Do you still have time before your wedding to work around this? Ask your fh to talk to his parents about this. Anyway, his parents will not be very much involved in the wedding. They just have to be there to witness the process and sign as a witness on the marriage cert (if any of them is one).

Hi sky,

The topic is now about Christian brides and their non-Christian bfs, some virtual sharing and fellowship too!
 
hi ericia

hope you are feeling better already.

i do agree with rains that the groom's parents will not be very much involved except in the signing. =)

dont mean to trivialise the situation.

keep praying ok? GOd will come true for you. my mommy wanted to use the almanac for our wedding day and i was quite resistent. however, in my family, we are not trained to voice out our displeasure so i meekly agreed but was deeply affected. (think i shared this story much earlier here before!) =)

my FH and his family are all christians so altho they had been incredibly understanding, it didnt go down well with them.

on and off i will pretend pretend go up to my mommy and tell her "er... we are christians so no need to use almanac la... auntie and uncle also ma... and besides we dont believe in such things... etc" then she would say ok but could tell she wasnt convinced... my mommy is very nice too. so i didnt feel good going against her (in a way).

but everytime she agreed after i coaxed her, somehow the next day she will bring it up again. and i would be like "ah... hmmm..."

then one day, i was quite desperate la. i didnt want to keep going against my mom and give her the impression that i didnt love her and was making things difficult for her. after all, she meant well...

but i really wanted to honour GOd too. i didnt want any demonic interference at the start of my marriage as well...

so i prayed and told God to help her decide to give up the almanac herself. if i told her to, she would keep changing her mind.

then the most amazing thing happened the next day.

my mom called me into her room and sat me down. she said actually checking almanac is very tedious. she has to get everyone's sheng cheng ba zhi... so she said something very incredulous " can you get auntie to do it instead?"

my jaws dropped and i laughed! "mommy ah! auntie is a christian leh. you think she will do that? hahaha."

and my mom said "in that case then let's just forget it. so troublesome." i was like, "God! so fast!" =)

because she is not checking the almanac, we also need to leave the house on the actual day according to auspicious timing.

God is great isnt He?

if my marriage works out (and i'm sure it will!), my mom will know it's not because of the almanac but because God is gracious and centre of my marriage! =)

so press on. dont give up! if you wanna honour God, will God not pave the way for you?

prov 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
 
SL - AMAZING! How I wish I could rid of silly things like that. My parents are both Christians but aiyo! They hang on to their old traditions and customs and believe that we should retain some of them because it is who we are. Morever, my mum can say things like "if you don't follow, what if something goes wrong, who will you blame" I told her, "MOM! Everything is from God, all these beliefs are just superstitious stuff!" And then she goes "Yeah lah, but just do, just in case". duh.

So I tried to explain to my Dad instead and I think he's having this struggle as well, between God and traditional beliefs.

Till now I am still having struggles about the customs and superstitions. My fiance is laid back, he just says "Just let them do whatever they want lah". So I ask God everyday to give me the tolerance to just go along with the traditions and customs even though I don't believe. Think the parents think it's interesting if we hang on to these customs.

SL - what do you mean IF my marriage works out! Of course it will! and the both of you must WORK AT IT, it doesn't just go along with the 2 of you guys not putting any effort!

Lucky for me I didn't have to look for specific dates or timing. I convinced my parents my wedding in 8th month very good already. My friend's mother-in-law (catholic) is even more bo liao. She consulted numerology to make sure the house they purchased had the numbers in harmony with their 'personal numbers'. Friend and her hubby was quite pissed because there weren't many flats to choose from!

*sigh* I think old people very 'pan-tan'.
 
NEED HELP, anyone has a template or TEMPLATESSS to christian wedding solemnisation programme? I need to layout mine but I do not know where to start, got no reference from other weddings also.

ThaNKS SOOOO much!
 
martha,

what's your email addy? I have one that i emailed to rains and lilic. An AD schedule that includes morning to night and church solemnisation as well.
 
Dear all,
Thanks so much for your words of comfort. I feel so much better now. Anyway, my FH had said that he pleaded with his parents the other night, talked to them for very long and said sth like "my whole life I never requested anyth from you. This is one big event of a life time and I really want it to go this way....etc etc" and after that he said they went speechless and no more words of objections from them. Still, I do not know if they have truly agreed but tonight I meet his mother for dinner and will try to bring up this issue and get her to agree. Me keeping fingers crossed. But you are right, God is really working. I am glad He gave me such a good bf with such strong faith. (I kept saying I wanted to give up on this wedding but he kept persistently saying he will be able to talk his parents round one day although seems to me its impossible.)
By the way, Tambourina, can email the template of church solemnisation programme to me too? If all goes well, me hoping for a church solemnisation just before the wedding dinner at Chijmes.
 
Hmm as for the date choosing part.... Actually me and FH already sort of planned out many things. date and venue and programme etc and he says his parents no prob sure agree. Thats why afterwards when I knew his parents really dun agree, I was upset that he had kept quiet and now our plans are all turned upside down. we wanted a saturday in middle of next year but his parents want lunar month august and they want to choose auspicious date. We want church solemnisation but they want the traditional chinese wedding.
I do not know what now the outcome will be, but I really hope they will not end up going temple or sth to get the date. I am willing for the date to be chosen by them out of respect but no almanac or temple or fortune teller. As for the wedding programme, I am thinking of having both church solemnisation plus their tea ceremony and banquet. Wondering....is having tea ceremony against christian beliefs? Don't think so right? but now headache over whether should merge the church solemnisation and their traditional wedding on same day or not... lets see how my meeting with his mother goes tonight.....I think I better pray witb FH before I go.
 
hi ericia!

happened to pop by here this evening (dont usually log on after office hours... lazy =)) and hey, think it's divine appointment! i just prayed for you and your FH. looking forward to good news!

go for it, sister!

;P
 
Hi dear SL,
yep me back home now. and sorry to say no good news.....sigh. Well now my FH says wanna go against parents' wishes and just go ahead with just church wedding alone. His parents are really tough and firm, either no church wedding and follow their plans or if church wedding, they will ignore us and will not attend anyth at all. Well I am pretty clueless now as to what is the next step. Fortunately we have not booked anyth yet except for the bridal boutique. Will just put everyth on hold first.
 
hi ericia, sounds bad....pray hard! God will soften their hearts...no big deal about church wedding mah, they just respect you, and you respect them and have the chinese banquet lor.

tambourina, my email is [email protected]. do you have the solemnisation programme one? as in the page by page, you put hymns, notices, program of the ceremony etc? thanks a mill!
 
oh dear ericia... hey, press on. at the end of the whole episode when you see how God has worked for you, your story will become a living testimony for many struggling couples. =)

here's a verse for you to keep you going (this verse has kept me going these couple of months at work. hope you will be blessed by it too)

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (exodus 14:14)

=)

hey, i'll be praying with you. wanna be in the same "camp" as you with God as commander. =)

cheers!
 
hi ericia, you have my prayers too.. God will honour you and your FH for putting Him first..

prayers worked wonders... have faith.. you will get what you desire...

but before we get too "spiritual", from the natural viewpt, maybe you and your FH can take a step back... have you tried to understand why his parents are against the church wedding... perhaps, instead of pushing them to accept having the church wedding, why not try to see from their viewpoint and tackle the problem from thereon? there is no problem too big for our God.. and therefore, us...

one possibility could be that if you have a church wedding, they feel loss of face in front of their friends for not bringing up their son well (older chinese folks think that the son will inherit the parents' custom if he is well-brought up)

sometimes, old folks need to be pacified. dun go on a head-to-head collison with them... it will only make them "detest" our God further... we are supposed to draw the unsaved to Him with our deeds and actions.. not pushing them away..

To encourage you... lyrics from a song i heard yesterday...

"Our God is an awesome God,
He reigns from heavens above
with wisdom, power and love
Our God is an awesome God"

Trust Him to make all things right... Faith is believing in things not seen... have faith that your church wedding will come true...
 
compromise? like i said about having church wedding, AND chinese banquet? costs more but everyone will be happy!

I'm having problems as well - Finances! parents in law are making the wedding THE event of the year, because it is their only chance to show off...but they aren't paying for the wedding...so it's 'showing off at our expense" - sounds bad huh?
 
martha - dun worry.. Our God will supply... smile and enjoy lah... once in a lifetime... hahah

or like my fren, tell your PIL that you two are going broke and taking up loans bcoz of their demands.. as a result, must delay having kids coz of the loans... like some miracle medication, my fren PIL stopped meddling instantly.. =)
 
Hi Martha

God will indeed supply for all your needs. My congregation consists mainly of newly wedded couples who have wedded within the last 2-3 years. Each of them had to cope with the new house, renos, wedding expenses & were worried of coz tt they might be in debt etc

But God is faithful, the ang paos received covered cost for the banquet. Some even had an overflow.

Whatever the case is, let ur FH do the talking with his parents & u do the praying while they are having the discussion.

Hi Ericia

Continue to submit ur requests with prayer & petition. I think u might need to compromise without shortchanging urself? For instance, just let ur in-laws select the date which they think is auspicious. Afterall u aren't the person selecting it, & by allowing them to make this decision, u might get things ur way? We're also commanded to respect our parents/elders yah?

Tea ceremony def doesn't go against our Christian beliefs, unless u're expected to pray to ancestors & hold joss sticks. Kneeling is okie, out of respect..

For my upcoming wedding, the customary & solemnization on the same day, only the banquet is held on the following day.
 
<font color="0000ff">Christian brides details as on 13 June 2005</font>

<table border=1><tr><td><font size="-2">Nick</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">AD</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Banquet</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">BS</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Lovenest</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Cookie's Gal</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">18 Jun 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">St Andrew</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church volunteers</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Lavish Dine</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Raffles Hotel</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Bridal Concept</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Inspire Production/Inspire Production</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Europe</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Sembawang</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Jasvy</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">MehMeh</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">03 &amp; 04 Sep 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">PLMC</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Bloom Flower Gallery</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Orchard</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Yvonne Creative</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">BigDayStudio/BigdayStudio</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Port Dickson</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Holland V</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Rokko</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">10 Sep 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">St Andrew</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Fullerton</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Silhouette</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Pentaserve/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Hillview</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Tambourina</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">10 Sep 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Leng Kwang Baptist</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Green Point</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Marina Mandrain</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Feline Bridal</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Rh*ma Media</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">AMK</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">TDragon</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">SL</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">10 &amp; 11 Sep 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Grace Methodist</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Sister</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">CDCS</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Meritus Mandarin</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Emmanuel B Couture</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Robin Photography/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Bt Timah</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">DIY</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">SkyeSkye</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">19 &amp; 20 Nov 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">All Saints</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Friend</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Harvest?</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Club Chinos</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">San Mike</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Friends</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Vietnam/Bali</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Lovenest</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">DIY</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Kat</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">17 Dec 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">TTC</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Mandarin Oriental KL</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Santiago</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Derrick Ong/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Lovenest</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">DIY</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Teng</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">17 &amp; 18 Dec 05</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Telok Ayer Methodist</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Safra Mount Faber</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Universal Bridal Studio</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">New Zealand</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Bt Purmei</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Nya</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">18 &amp; 19 Feb 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church of Good Shepherd</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Amara</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">J &amp; M</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Lovenest</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">YY</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">18 &amp; 25 Mar 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Wesley Methodist</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Meritus Mandarin</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Graceful Image</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Holland V</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">T Dragon</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">m&amp;m</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">29 Apr 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Renewal Christian Church</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Friend</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Teochew City Seafood Restaurant</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">BS</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Gabriel Mendes/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Circuit Road</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Count</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">07 Oct 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">PLMC</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Banquet</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">BS</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Pinnacle @ Duxton</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Lilic</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Nov/Dec 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">FFC</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Fullerton</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">BS</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Tucky's Photography/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">East Coast</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">Ivy</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">09 Dec 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Church Deco</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caterer</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Club Chinos</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Golden Horse Awards</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Photo/Video</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Boon Lay</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Invites Printer</font> </TD></TR><TR><TD><font size="-2">TinTin</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">09 &amp; 10 Dec 06</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">St Vincent de Paul</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">June Florist</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Kriston</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Marriott</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Silhouette</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">The Pond/FabianLim</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Honeymoon</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Holland</font></TD><TD><font size="-2">Caffeine Creative</font></td></tr></table>

Hi Martha, Sky &amp; Ericia.. Care to leave ur details here?
 
mehmeh, ericia and martha,
I've emailed you the AD schedule.

I have a question about 'Special Item'. Do you invite your friend to do the special item at the church wedding ceremony or do your friends 'volunteer' themselves?

FH and I also faced the problem initially when we picked the wedding date. His parents wanted to go temple and consult fortune-teller and almanac. Ditto for the new home - they wanted to find an auspicious date to start the reno, move in, etc.

We spoke to our pastor about it that we felt uneasy that they are consulting fortune tellers. Our pastor advised us to let our parents know our clear and firm belief that we do not believe in these auspicious dates. For Christians, all days are good and given by the Lord. But because they are our parents, we want to honour them and if they want to seek the advice of fortune tellers and almanac and they feel more assured that way, we have no objections and will go along with them. The restriction was that it must be on a saturday.
 
Hi everyone...

can I join in?
My details are as follows:

Nick: timminbuzz
Big Day (Church): 24 June 2006
Big Day (Banquet): 24 June 2006
Church : Church of Ascension
Banquet : Hilton
BS : Dang
AD Photographer: Tucky Photography
Church Deco : TBC
Caterer : TBC
Honeymoon : TBC
Lovenest : Still looking
Invite card printer : TBC

thanks! =)
 
Hi MehMeh,

Can you update my honeymoon to Rajahstan please?

Thanks !
happy.gif
 
Hi WongYY,

i have one more session of PMC to go and the last topic is on sex....

PMC covers topics like God's design for marriage, the roles and responsibilities of husband and wife, expectations before and after wedding, communication, money and sex.

It was very beneficial as I went through PMC. There was a period of time when I was so upset with fiance and nearly wanted to call off the wedding. After PMC, i realised that it was his upbringing, family background. I learned to accept him for who he is and shouldn't try to change him to what I want him to be.

Some of the questions from the book we used were very practical. For eg, we were asked to write any of our names which we thought would take care of the household chores and then come back together to discuss. Iron clothes, wash plates, tidy bed in the morning, sweep/mop floor, etc..
 
hi mehmeh,

can update my details pls? thx for the hard work! =)

Church Deco: Friends
Caterer: TBC
Photo/Video: Friends
Honeymoon: Mauritius/Australia (TBC)
Lovenest: Toa Payoh
Invites: Gonna get a friend to design
 
hi WongYY,

i agree with what tambourina wrote abt PMC. it's realli impt for couples to go thru that before deciding to get married. i've actually heard of some couples who after going thru PMC, they decided that they were not prepared to commit! can u imagine not having attended PMC at all? it'll be definitely too late to realise the 'mistake' after signing the papers! and i believe marriage is a life-time commitment, though the world is getting more and more liberal abt divorce..but most imptly is to pray also yar! prayer works wonders! =)
 
Hi Tambourina

Can u email me a copy of the church programme &amp; AD schedule too? Cos my thumb drive is giving me problem and now I lost everything. thanks.

[email protected]


Hi WongYY,

i also have one more session of PMC to go which is on family. However, we have not talk about sex yet. Pastors said that he will meet up with us as a couple instead of a group. He said that we only need to meet him one month before AD for that topic. Since I'm from a Mandarin speaking chruch, maybe they are more conservative and don't want to 'expose' us so soon.
 
Hi Wong YY, forget to add. I would highly recommend you to go through PMC. You will learn so much from other couple. AT the same time, you will also learn more about your FH and yourself.
 
Hi..

Can some1 give me the contact to Telok Ayer Methodist Church (off Telok Blangah Road) ??

Also, i m stuck now with not knowing which church to hold HM... initially wanted Trinity Chapel, but it's nt available on the date I want..

I like Trinity Chapel, so have to look for a similar alternative now.. Any suggestions, fellow christian brides? ;)
 
hey tambourina, i think you doing the same book as me! I am going for my 3rd session later.

Hey guys, my solemnisation is supposedly 50mins. That's ok right? Enough time, not too short or long? My pastor said no need to do prolonged preaching wait bore the non-christians. He hasn't got his licence to sign the papers for us though...apparently ROM does it in batches and they are very slow! Pray for me that he will get it approved soon!

Thanks!
 
martha,

i believe the next batch of dishing out the licences is in Oct this year. Our senior pastor who held the licence left and my pastor now cannot obtain the licence in time to solemnize our wedding in Sept, so we got to invite another church's pastor to do the signing.

Your 50 min solemnisation includes everything ie processional, praise time, homily (exhortation), exchange of vows, thank you speech, recessional march, etc?

Ladies, you are asking for the church solemnisation programme, right? So far, i have only sent you the detailed AD schedule. The programme doc is in my home PC, will email you soon.
 
Hi n/c,
You can get the details from www.tacmc.org.sg but think they only rent out their chapel to members. You can check with them...

Hi martha,
My FH and i are paying for the whole wedding including banquet ourselves too.. at first wanted to forgo the banquet to prevent the alcohol problem that many of us christians will face especially with adults.. and also because FH feels that he don't know much of his relatives too since he didn't stay with his parents since young but after thinking through, we went ahead out of respect..though frankly, for us, the holy matrimony in church is more significant and in fact, most of our friends are invited to church... and the dinner buffet thereafter...

Left the banquet to family, relatives and close friends...... but now, the second worry is that we are quite worried that FH's family will invite people using the olden days' method where people give 1 whole table for this family and 1 whole table for that family.. can't imagine what would happen......

FH is having an argument with his dad about this liao as we insist that he gives us the namelist and we will rsvp for him nearer to the date... which I believe as an adult, he feels it's rude for us to do that... well.. we are praying for things to go on smoothly.... and am sure the Lord will lead the way for us :D

Hi WongYY,
Hee.. me and my FH attended the PMC in March 2005.. if your church do not have it, you can actually find out more abt the different PMC workshops conducted by some organisations such as Fei Yue or Agape.. can call them up to find out more especially on whether their groups are for christians/mixed etc..

We touched on handling our finances/inlaws/living habits/children/sex too in the whole course while finding out more about our personalities and preferences/expectations of one another..

Hi Tambourina,
Previously, when I saw "special item" under the programme list, I thought it's a special performance by friends or the choir but have attended some where the special programme is actually a "gift presentation" to the parents of the bride and groom leh....

Think if you have close friends/church choir friends/people who can sing, can ask them if they would like to do so for your church ceremony? Nothing too wild though :P

Possible to get the list/schedule from you too? cos mine are in bits and pieces so would appreciate a more organised one with the tentative timings :P

Thanks in advance for the help...


Hee gals,
know what.. got this crazy thought in my mind... though I know it's quite impossible cos it's already about 26 years ago... FH's mum left him with his great aunt when he was only a few months old and he has never seen her since..

Was really thinking how great/touching it would be if I can get his real mum to appear on our wedding day too..... this has been something I really wish to do for him all these years but never had the opportunity to.. cos have seen him raising the matter to his dad but ended up in an unhappy state..

Haiz.. just don't know where to start...
 
Hey all,
Thanks you guys for e support. anyway we did propose to have both traditional plus church but they say no. Then we suggest halfheartedly just traditional and they say dun want liao, nth else to say. They then bring up the whole issue of why we must be believers in the first place. It seems to me they are using this chance to 'open up the can of worms'(dunno if this is the right verse)and oppose our faith. partly cos my bf is eldest son and eldest nephew and its very impt that he lead the pagan rites in funerals etc.But its ok, this sunday we will be going to pastor for advice.
Martha, its unfortunate they not paying. I should think they should pay if they wanna propose sth too big. my suggestion: if they hit beyond a certain budget, try to ask them to stop, say you need $ to buy flat renovate lar etc. its true that money needs to be spent on more impt things than a one day event.
Meh Meh, cant give details cos nth confirmed yet.
Yeh me will definitely go PMC after all these stuff settled. but am not looking forward to the sex topic,it will be embarressing to talk abt such stuff to pastor. I am quite shy:P
 
Hi teng,
It also crossed my mind that if have wedding banquet, and have alcohol drinking, will it be somewhat against our christian values? Its like if have church service then banquet with drinking, it may seem contradictory. we need to present a good image in front of nonchristian relatives... hmmm.. any comments?
 
Hi Ericia,

Remember the first miracle that Jesus performed? It was at a wedding, and it was turning water to wine! Also, Paul in his letter to Timothy, advised Timothy to take wine occasionally as it is beneficial to his health.
 
Hi gals who are concerned about the alcohol issue,

I remember my pastor (or ex-pastor) preached that it was not the alcohol that's offensive in God's sight but drunkeness as drunkeness induces undesirable behaviour. He said that he stopped drinking altogether to avoid getting drunk, not bcos drinking is sinful.

So alcoholic drinks are fine.
 
hi teng,
thanks for concern, my church do conduct pmc but since nothing is publish so far i am just curious what it will be all about.

And to all,
Just wondering who has attended PMC before fixing a wedding date with church / just a wedding date?

Not sure if what I am feeling is normal, felt a bit insecure for attending PMC after a wedding date is fixed. What if the FH is really not the right one after going thru the counselling? Call off the wedding or just accept things I cannot change and carry on?
 
Just to add on, will be attending PMC in my church starting Aug05 for 11 session...

Think the PMC will end in Nov05.

and my wedding is Mar06.

Don't u gals think is too late?
 
hmm... Wong YY, I agree the PMC is a little too late if you were to have second thoughts. But what other options do you have? Can go for earlier PMC or is there a crash course kind of PMC? Or can postpone your AD?

If neither option is available, and if you really feel that he is not the right one, you CANNOT just accept things. This is a lifetime commitment. Maybe can have a talk with fb about your issues/concerns, see if there can be a compromise/solution.

Hope everything will turn out fine.
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Wong YY,

I had this apprehension you mentioned when I first heard from my fiance that there're couples who decided to break up after the PMC. I voiced my concern to the pastor and he told us that cases like this are quite rare. It's usually bcos the couple got a different set of values or thinking when it comes to something that's really crucial. Perhaps like raising a child. If the two of you can't see things eye to eye on even very simple stuff. Then it really might pose a problem later on.

There're some things my fiance and I disagree on in the process of PMC, but they are not huge things such that we show different values in our views. So it's alright. Males and females are very different. It's normal to have different views on many things. I'm sure the pastor will be able to help you determine whether the issues you disagree on can be reconciled or a breakup would be better for you.

My fiance and I have been communicating throughout our relationship so it comes as no surprise when we disagree on certain things. There're some things that you have to agree to disagree on.

I don't think your PMC is too late, but of course, that would mean that you'll have to start preparing for your wedding along the way.
 
i actually got no prob with my FH. He is as irriating as before. Think that is him. We are together for 5 yrs now. no big prob.

I trust that God has put us together for a reason and this reason is for us (me and my FH) to find out. And I believed that even when we fight, God is always between us and advising.

Dun worry sisters, the questions I have posted is just out of curious.
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Hi WongYY,
You are welcome......
Regarding the PMC issue.. I remembered we already decided on the date to be in dec before going for the PMC.

Hi Ericia,
Erm, for my FH, it's partly because he's now serving in a christian drug rehab centre so many of the residents will be going for the dinner too that's why his stand is as much as we can, try not to let alcohol be present... But my stand is we can have wine instead.... cos to invite friends and not having alcohol... might be quite unacceptable for non-christians....whatever the reason may be...

Thanks Cookie's gal/rains.... will let him know the examples/reasons/explanations you both brought up :P see what he says..
 
Hi WongYY
my church actually does not allow couples to make wedding plans until after PMC coz they really hope to walk through with the couple before they make that decision. after all it's a life long decision... no rooms for regrets...my friends who attended only had praise for it... very practical... and very useful... =)

actually i have never come across anyone who broke up after it. more often than not, they learnt skills to live harmoniously. =)

FH church has no such constraints so we did it in his church instead while preparing for our wedding concurrently.

and i thot it was cool that his church calls it Marriage Preparation Course (MPC) rather than Pre-Marital Course. more assuring i suppose?

erm... tho PMC is encouraged, my experience wasnt a good one. probably culture shock? but i did learn new things tho. so yea, i would still attend if given a choice again. =)

someone asked about TELOK AYER METHODIST CHURCH? it is not open to non-members. =) i asked before. nice church!
 
Hi SL

U r having ur wedding in Grace Methodist.. is the co-ordinator frenly? her name is G.M rite..

I am considering Grace Methodist or Thomson Road Baptish.. my AD is end of March 2006.. Do u have anything to share with me on these 2 churches? Cos i m sure u must have checked out a no. of churches before deciding on Grace Methodist. Would appreciate ur insights
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