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Mayi,
My BF also bans me from sharing r/s problem with others. But I never mention his name, so I dun care hehe. It's good to get advice from you all who see things clearer.
 
The majority wins, of course.... heh.
I have something on Fri evening... it's ok, i can join the next time. =)
 
green nah not this time
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aiya u c women..we r suckers lah..we bother too much abt our partners more than they do..so somehow we always chi kui
 
Interested parties - Pls indicate your intention
****************************************************
1. dragonfruit
2. vios - Thur evening, Boat Quay, coffee bean
3. green - Sat evening, Clarke Quay
4. Sgbabydoll - Thu, Fri or Sat evening (any place)
5. Mayi - Wed - Thur evening, no preference on location
6. Heart - Fri/Sat evening, no preference on location
7. CK4A - Weekdays evening...Sat To Sunday also can but i need to bring my son along can?
8. Pinkydy - Fri/Sat, no preference on location, bring HB along
 
Green - My HB is also protective. Tat's y Im sure he will want to come along. He has to make sure tat im realli going out with gal frens and not another man. haha.. And he also dont like the idea I share my problems here, but he can't realli stop me coz I frequent here pretty often.

So if ur partners r worried, then y dont juz ask them along. Anyway its realli our first time meeing. It may be a little awkward at first but it will be fun.
 
Yeh Pinky, i agree, it will be fun...
i am jus afraid of the starting part.. might nid an icebreaker.. heehee..

ya in forum i oso nvr mention his name.. i feel much better after typing it out and listening to u all de comments and advices... i just told him i come here chit chat nia.. hee hee..
 
green: for sure we will try to make it to the next meeting ..

wah, now tummy so full .. they had chicken briyani at the meeting but because i take down minutes, i always prefer to eat after meeting .. also had time to go and see my ah-girl at the infantcare .. hehehe
 
Green, I thought you and bf knew each other online? Why does he get worried when you meet people online?

Also, you refer to bf's mom and sis as MIL and SIL respectively, but your bf is still bf...have you already ROMed?
 
Sgbabydoll and cuclainne,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I was badly affected this time round because such behavior had happened again and again for my BF. I gave him a few chances already, so wonder what is my tolerance limit?

I called him just now and told him something like 'you are very important to me, so i feel hurted when u hang the phone on me yesterday. whenever you are moody, you will throw such bombs on me. i feel scared, will u throw your fustrations on me next time after marriage?" His replies are "I don't know".

How? Should I postpone the wedding? He can't even give me reassurances.


Sgbabydoll,
Nope I knew him at a talk. He always think that I'm very simple-minded and naive and will get cheated by people easily, so he doesn't allow me to go clubbing or meet people from chatroom/forum. We're getting married/ROM next year. I used SIL and PIL cos shorter to type hehe.
 
Pinky,
I understand that type of waiting, it makes us lonely and tired women sometimes. Now I'm busy with my work and I try to find hobby things to do (eg. watching online dramas), so I don't feel dependent on him anymore. I feel ok even if he doesn't meet me for a week.

Now my BF worries whenever I tell him I go out meet friends... know what new guy friends etc haha
 
green all i can say..i tink u really need to think abt marrying tis guy..as much as u seem to have a high threshold in tolerating his behaviour..it will come to a time when u will explode too..perhaps u really need to ask urself if this is wat u wan..even if he can assure u he wont do it again..we wont noe..call me cynical but its beta to step back n tink 4 urself since it's a big decision than to notice the bomb n go ahead wif it
 
green, wear your armour? (ç•™åŽè·¯ç»™è‡ªå·±)
So u wun be so hurt if there is a next time? I always give in to my bf cos i love him a lot a lot, but after he hurt me by hurling harsh remarks during a heated argument wher i only want a clarification and trying to put my thoughts across to him, i told myself not to give in so much and has since put on my 'armour' and activated my defensive mode. o_0 sounds like playing another online game... zzz..

Btw, nvr see diana oso~
 
Serene,
I agree that I have a HIGH threshold. All my colleagues noticed that I always wait 2hours for him, sometimes he fly me aeroplanes/cancel appts last min etc.. they told me that they Pei Fu/admire me for my patience.

Yes I exploded last year and initiated a breakup after being treating like a hotel (he looks for me and ignores me as he please) for 1 year! I only agree to patch back after he begged me and promised me to take our appts more sincerely.

If I cancel the wedding, how do I inform the colleagues around me? Haha say I postpone it? To my close friends and parents, I can honestly tell them that I have problems with the relationship.

Mayi,
My armour is already activated after crying so many times. My BF always thinks that I'll be fine after crying and starts to take my forgiveness for granted.

I ask myself if I can emotionally cope with a breakup with him. The answer is YES. (surprisingly)
 
my dear green, u dun hav to b answerable to any of ur colleagues nor anyone except to urself

if someone like me whose stuck in my current status can openly tell anyone who asked abt my marriage, i dun c y u cant
happy.gif
 
Now I msn with him, telling him my concerns...that he shouldn't vent his fustrations on me (shout at me, hang my phone calls) when he's affected by other things.

His reply is "
i never scold u
pls stop arguing with me
period"

He thinks that those actions are acceptable and I should be understanding. See the way he replies.

I feel so hurt again now... Lost... what should I do? The breakup thought is in my mind again. My tears are rolling down now.

He ignored me last year when he faced 80K debts. I sticked by him, encouraged him and tolerated his tempers. Now the cycle is coming back because of the glass bottles that his sister threw him. Unfair!
 
allow me to say something here...though i must say its not right to behave in this way, but there're guys who when in bad mood or under stress, will act in this negative ways one..but once they cool down, sotrm over, they will be v v nice..
 
Ah siao,
He is indeed nice to me when he's not moody about things.

But the problem is I can't be always the punching bag for him when he gets affected by work, $$ and family things. I don't cause those problems.

I have more serious family problems than him but I never vent fustrations at ppl around me.
 
hey.. sorry for butting in here like this but i have to say to green... warning bells are going off for me when i read ur post... do think abt this r/s carefully. No harm postponing the wedding till u're 100% sure abt it. If ur bf is sincere in working things out w u, he wldn't say those things to u or behave badly and expect u to understand. :P
 
everyone has got tempers n so i dun tink its fair to behave dat way even tho the guy promised not to do the same anymore..so how many chances or times muz he repeat his annoying attitude?

green dear pls dun cry. understand dat u r muz b damn disappointed n upset wif him but u muz b strong, its lucky dat ur status is still legally single now
happy.gif


n oso, work place r 4ever gossipy, ppl can wag their tongues 4 all they like n like i said earlier, we r never answerable to anyone except ourselves.

keep ur chin up sweetie
happy.gif
 
agree...tat's y i said this kinda behaviour is never right...i just wanna pt out to u these kinda guys.they can be v nice n super nasty one.. they know n wanna change but it always happen cos it born in them...usually they will tone down when grow much older..but never expect it will go away lor...
 
sometimes i really wonder if ppl (guys or gals alike) noe how their loved ones feel being hung up on the fone abruptly...n its like wats the point of saying sorry after the damage as been done esp if its repeated

guess human beings r juz like dat...until they lose something then they realise how important some ppl is to them
 
serene, this kinda pple usually pretty short in patience n hot temper one...they know n they also wanna control..but at split sec, the temper can just snap n there it goes again...

living w this kinda pple is not easy...gotta think twice
 
must say that i agree with what G-gal advised, people wont change their character just because of someone they love, habits maybe can break but not how they think, its too deep rooted. you have to be sure that you two are suitable for each other.

anyway, whats the rush of tying the knot by next year right? you are making decision that will affect the rest of your life and most possibly a decision that will affect your next generation.

切记，切记...
 
Hey People

Anyone intending to drive on Fri? There is a SGX Bull Run this Fri in the CBD area ->http://bullrun.sgx.com. So you might encounter some difficulty reaching the place as some roads will be blocked.

Once again, here's the latest status.

Interested parties
**********************
1. dragonfruit - Fri evening, Boat Quay, coffee bean
2. vios - Thur evening, Boat Quay, coffee bean. Fri cannot make it.
3. green - Sat evening, Clarke Quay
4. Sgbabydoll - Thu, Fri or Sat evening (any place)
5. Mayi - Wed - Thur evening, no preference on location. Fri also can.
6. Heart - Fri/Sat evening, no preference on location
7. CK4A - Weekdays evening...Sat To Sunday also can but i need to bring my son along can?
8. Pinkydy - Fri/Sat, no preference on location, bring HB along
9. Cheerio - ?
10. Diana - ?
11. Hunky - ?

At one glance, I can see that the majority will be able to make it on Fri.

Let me know if you have any concerns. In the meantime, let's wait for the rest, namely cheerio, diana and hunky, to come in.

We shall finalise the list tomorrow evening. Ok with you, people? Or all of you now on the way home already?

Am I the only one still left in office???
sad.gif
 
Thanks G-gal, Siao and Cheerio for your advices.

Outsiders can see things clearer than me, therefore I welcome your comments.

My BF called me after he asked me to shut up on MSN. As usual, he's guilty and appologises to me. Hmm... what's the use? Now I give my hope that he'll change this trait after many empty promises from him.

I'll give myself a week away from him to re-evaluate the relationship. I may breakup or call off wedding. I think he finds me naggy because I like to bring up our problems for discussions.

This time I only cried 1/4 pail of tears compared to yesterday 1 pail of tears. Tears shortage liao, so stopped crying.
happy.gif
 
green, i am alittle concern so may i add -

whatever he said to you and how he said it, remember YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN how he treats you... you are BIGGER than what he says to you. if he cherish you, he will not and should not treat you this way. if it is occasionally due to work stress, it's fine. in all relationships, it is GIVE AND TAKE. men have menopause too...so we, ladies give in a little.

maybe you can try to be a little 'expensive', bochap him for a while and give him that tidak apa attitude.

as for how to answer to your colleagues and friends, i agree with serene, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself. just cos you set wedding for next year with your bf, does not mean you die die also must go thru it. if in the end, you hv to postpone or cancel it, just tell your colleagues 'oh, there are some change of plans'... period, no need to justify or clarify.

this latter part, i can understand cos i walked this path before.

young lady, i am sure you will do well and dont keep that hurt there too long ok. tomorrow will be a better day !!
happy.gif
 
Thanks Latino.

Yes I rather go through the trouble of cancelling the wedding than suffer a lifetime (like my poor mum)!

I definitely can cope with the heartbreak. It just takes time to heal
happy.gif
 
Green, hope you are better liao.. Now its my turn to feel pek chek and sianz..

Anybody still here?

My bf told me that he will be knockin off early and he nvr mention anything that he will be going out or wad. I jus called him to ask if he wants to go explore a new map with me in game as i thought he is already home, but who knows he is out with his buddies to have dinner and i just blew my top. I duno la, i just feel upset that he nvr let me know beforehand that he is going out. He nvr tells me his whereabouts and his plans after he started his work. I just feel so insecure that i only get to know his plans last min (sometimes is last min plan la) or when i call him. Informing me about his whereabout isit too much to ask for?? I know sometimes he need his guys nite out, but am i not entitled to know? I sms-ed him a long sms telling him how i feel and he hasnt reply till now.

I told him i feel upset and pek chek cos i thought he will be at home and in the end he is out enjoying liao. And I told him i guess that he will defintely go to the pub near wher he is having dinner and will only call me when he reaches home or sms me if he is home late. Then, i say he will defintely reply me whats wrong with me again and i told him i also duno wads wrong with me. I can only guess and keep it in my mind and control my temper thats all. I told him the purpose of my sms is to let him know how i am feeling and has no intentions of spoiling his mood or anything cos i nvr get to know what he will be doing anyway.

Sobs. My mood is so rotten right now. T__T
 
Hi Mayi,
I am still around.

I guess u're feeling fustrated because u find that he is placing his buddies at a higher priority than u? If he has informed u in advance, u won't be feeling so sore/disappointed about it. Are u having the expectation that he'll accompany u tonight? The delay of his SMS consolation sure make u feel worse.

Well my BF sometimes cancels our appointments last min to go for his other things.
 
*pat pat Mayi*

understand how u r feeling coz there was a phase i oso expected some things from my other half..then i came to realise..perhaps i shld lead my own life n plan my own programs rather than specifically shelf a time for him

mayb u guys can fix a few evenings a week or perhaps over the weekend dat its understood both of u will b out..cheer up now n dun let tis spoil ur nite
happy.gif
 
hey green, u at home liao? feeling beta i hope?

my frens asked me out for dinner but i'm so lazy since i was wkg from home today

noe what? tmr marks the '1 year' since he mentioned abt separation
happy.gif
 
Serene,
U must open a bottle of champaque to celebrate the "freedom of 1 year" anniversary. Wah lau u so popular, always have friends asking u out!

Yah I'm at home rushing work. Tomorrow is deadline hehe. My BF called me 4 times to ask for forgiveness but I just said that I felt too disappointed and wanted to be alone.

Strangely there's no more sadness, just a great sense of peace ;) My heart gets numb easily, maybe it has been hurt too many times in life haha.
 
Now I'm listening to a chinese song with the lyrics,

"Is there any difference between love and dependency/habit (Yi1 Lai2)?"

My answer is "No". It is true that we are so used to the person that we are stuck in comfort zone and refuse to give up sometimes.
 


Hi Serene

I just passed my one year anniversary last month. I told myself recently that there will not be any second anniversary next year.
 
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