Asking proposal ring back after breakup?

runez

New Member
me and my gf both late 30s
already plan on settling down next yr july
3 yrs together, but due to her bad financial management we need to call off all plans
long story short:
i own a 3rm resale my parents move in with me they rent out their's 4rm, in return they got some income and help me with my hse expenses.
i proposed to my gf this yr march she agreed i was happy but she DEMANDED tat she dun wanna live with in laws want privacy, so she suggested my parents move back to their home, at tat time their hse still under 2 yrs contract earliest will be 2017 May, she made a big hoo haa, quarrel like crazy i no choice discuss with my parents, and fortunately they agreed to shorted the lease to 1yr and paid the penalty.
Recently i tok to her tat my parents moving back soon so we must pay for all the expenses, i took bank loan so is cash
but i'm shock she never tot of these, she got no savings at never in her mind never thought of helping out as a couple, she said her parents both not working need to support them so no $ cant commit elsewhere, my jaw drop and told her i trusted her tot she'll spare a tot on our future, she wants privacy and yet dun want contribute.
I told her we can apply BTO when i can sell my resale which is 1 1/2 yrs time then u no need contribute but she dont want, so in the end we broke up.
I realized i've been giving in to her demand so much tat i hurt my parents feeling treat them like a ball, i felt so guilty i ask for forgiveness and they forgave me, now they carry on stay with me.
I bought her a 6k diamond ring can i demand it back? i do shower her with branded and iphone and stuffs all those are meant for her, but the ring is for marriage so is different.
 


Wen Xuan

Member
You may try to let her know your thought. However, if she refuse to return, then just let it go.
Hope u can recover from your breakup soon, i know is not easy to let go a three-year relationship, but who knows it maybe a blessing in disguise.. you definitely will find someone who treasures you. Jia you
 

runez

New Member
You may try to let her know your thought. However, if she refuse to return, then just let it go.
Hope u can recover from your breakup soon, i know is not easy to let go a three-year relationship, but who knows it maybe a blessing in disguise.. you definitely will find someone who treasures you. Jia you

i tried to ask for the ring back
immediately she went crazy ask me to compensate her 3yrs youth, i really LOL

now I understand why her last marriage lasted for 3yrs only
 

Wen Xuan

Member
Think she is not ready for family yet. A good family need the husband and wife to maintain and support each other.
Is definitely her great loss to lose u.
 

runez

New Member
Think she is not ready for family yet. A good family need the husband and wife to maintain and support each other.
Is definitely her great loss to lose u.

i ask myself everyday am i in the wrong?
i'm just being rationale here, but to her i'm wrong, i realised is my fault actually for giving too much, cos i know her past what she being thru just wanna make up for what's she lost in the past...
 

Wen Xuan

Member
i ask myself everyday am i in the wrong?
i'm just being rationale here, but to her i'm wrong, i realised is my fault actually for giving too much, cos i know her past what she being thru just wanna make up for what's she lost in the past...
I believe she definitely have some area to attract u. I m not sure will she feel pain to break off with u, but for normal person they definitely need times to adjust esp u have proposed to her. Even She was a divorcee doesn't mean that she can accept easily that her wedding plan has called off. Probably give her some times before talk to her again.

Hope both of u can move on happily.
 
i tried to ask for the ring back
immediately she went crazy ask me to compensate her 3yrs youth, i really LOL

now I understand why her last marriage lasted for 3yrs only
From the way she replied you im sure she's still an immature girl, definitely not ready to settle down. Move on from here.

For the record, i did return my ex the engagement ring he bought me. Though not expensive ($2k) but i dont want any part of him with me. I returned the branded bag he bought me too.

Additional advise, if you want to test if the girl truly loves you, buy a cheapo engagement ring for proposal. For me and htb, our engagement gift is the hdb flat..which both of us contributed equally.. Needless to propose. We have to get married, so skip the proposal ring
 

runez

New Member
From the way she replied you im sure she's still an immature girl, definitely not ready to settle down. Move on from here.

For the record, i did return my ex the engagement ring he bought me. Though not expensive ($2k) but i dont want any part of him with me. I returned the branded bag he bought me too.

Additional advise, if you want to test if the girl truly loves you, buy a cheapo engagement ring for proposal. For me and htb, our engagement gift is the hdb flat..which both of us contributed equally.. Needless to propose. We have to get married, so skip the proposal ring

she once told me the bigger the rock it signifies how much the love, she wants something bigger than her previous, after i've "woke up" she definitely don't deserve the ring
 
she once told me the bigger the rock it signifies how much the love, she wants something bigger than her previous, after i've "woke up" she definitely don't deserve the ring
Yes man.. Dun look back. U're better off without her. But dun give up on the 'forest', continue to find your true love. I hope it comes soon for u. Jia you!!
 

Sofy

New Member
Hello Runez,

Hope that you are feeling better now. You sound like a really nice guy. And I feel that you deserve sooo much better. Perhaps a less selfish and of course less materialistic one. :)

You mentioned that she does not want to return the ring back right? It is ok, Runez :) Don't fret over it. I know it is hard... cus it is worth $6k. But what I have always truly believe in is that... if its not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Perhaps you will get back in a different form?Perhaps in the form of pay raise? More blessings in life? A much much better partner? You might never know.

So I hope that you are able to move on with ease and just give your focus to important things in life. Sometimes, good things happen when you least expect it. :)

Take care and Happy New Year to you. May 2016 be a better year for you.
 

runez

New Member
Hello Runez,

Hope that you are feeling better now. You sound like a really nice guy. And I feel that you deserve sooo much better. Perhaps a less selfish and of course less materialistic one. :)

You mentioned that she does not want to return the ring back right? It is ok, Runez :) Don't fret over it. I know it is hard... cus it is worth $6k. But what I have always truly believe in is that... if its not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Perhaps you will get back in a different form?Perhaps in the form of pay raise? More blessings in life? A much much better partner? You might never know.

So I hope that you are able to move on with ease and just give your focus to important things in life. Sometimes, good things happen when you least expect it. :)

Take care and Happy New Year to you. May 2016 be a better year for you.

Thanks, yes she don't wanna return, and i'm still paying for it thru instalment cos is interest free.
 

Sofy

New Member
oh man.. really sorry to hear about that :( hmmm... i wonder whether will it be possible to transfer name to her instead lol!
 

life_is

Active Member
Thanks, yes she don't wanna return, and i'm still paying for it thru instalment cos is interest free.

Make friends with her ex husband so you know her better. From what you described I can already see why she is a divorcee. Think if you marry her, her next step will be to get your flat and money. Don't be fooled.
 

runez

New Member
Make friends with her ex husband so you know her better. From what you described I can already see why she is a divorcee. Think if you marry her, her next step will be to get your flat and money. Don't be fooled.
haha good idea
i got his contact we can bitch about her
 

winter_gal

New Member
don't have to bitch about her though, jus maybe know more of her other side?? anw, now that u have broken up jus move on la.. agree with one said that 6k is nth compare to the rest of ur life and also ur parents life... how is she gonna treat ur parents in future? im sure u can find someone who can live happily with your parents... god bless u...
 

runez

New Member
don't have to bitch about her though, jus maybe know more of her other side?? anw, now that u have broken up jus move on la.. agree with one said that 6k is nth compare to the rest of ur life and also ur parents life... how is she gonna treat ur parents in future? im sure u can find someone who can live happily with your parents... god bless u...

is not easy to be with someone who had serious depression for the past 6yrs
now i just wanna focus on myself and my parents, sometimes i do feel resentful and sad although i know i've done the right thing
 

winter_gal

New Member
yes... u been through so much and I believe u also tolerated her weird demand or behaviour for the past years... its very hurt, but u know u are doing it right... spend more time with your parents...

when I read that your parents actually agree to the request to move out, its seriously sad... I will never ask my in law to move out to have privacy... next time when u have kids u also need privacy? when u have kids u really need a lot of help.. its not easy... I believe u can find someone better la.. time heals it.. I know u will say that yes everyone will say "u will find someone better" or "u deserve someone better".. but that is the fact... I been through all that I know how it feel and understand it... hope you are getting better each day...
 

adevanful

New Member
Hi runez!

From what I see, I think she's not ready to build a family yet. House, wedding and all requires lots of compromising. Especially when it comes to finances.. her loss your gain! As for the ring, I think high chance she won't give you back already ba
 

runez

New Member
Hi runez!

From what I see, I think she's not ready to build a family yet. House, wedding and all requires lots of compromising. Especially when it comes to finances.. her loss your gain! As for the ring, I think high chance she won't give you back already ba

ya cos now apparently she's only wants it her way
 

life_is

Active Member
haha good idea
i got his contact we can bitch about her

Bitching isn't going to take you anywhere. I have seen cases where women lie about anything just to get men in trouble and get financial benefits. No women ever got convicted for lying in court, but men end up facing a lot of hell for these lies. Find out more from her ex, be careful and record all future correspondence in case she tries to milk you for what you are worth. Get the ex on your side to testify if necessary. Don't go near her if she loves money more than you. You may end up in court for accused rape, violence, abuse, and all sorts of false accusations. She won't go to jail for doing that, but you may.
 

runez

New Member
Hi runez!

From what I see, I think she's not ready to build a family yet. House, wedding and all requires lots of compromising. Especially when it comes to finances.. her loss your gain! As for the ring, I think high chance she won't give you back already ba

she said she mailed to me by normal mail 2 weeks ago, but no sign of ring in my letterbox, i did confronted her ask her for my mailing address, she could not answer after that she block my whatsapp and contact
 

winter_gal

New Member
yeap... like what others said, don't think u will get back your ring already... its obviously that she didn't wanna return u...
 

DingOOPS

Member
I'm glad your mind say no!
 

AceOfXF

Member
other than the engagement ring, i still have the new unworn wedding bands, ring pillow, hdb contract and floor plan, banquet package and studio package .. stupid mess. everything was booked and lucky nothing was done.
 

runez

New Member
other than the engagement ring, i still have the new unworn wedding bands, ring pillow, hdb contract and floor plan, banquet package and studio package .. stupid mess. everything was booked and lucky nothing was done.
what happened?
 

Joes

Member
me and my gf both late 30s
already plan on settling down next yr july
3 yrs together, but due to her bad financial management we need to call off all plans
long story short:
i own a 3rm resale my parents move in with me they rent out their's 4rm, in return they got some income and help me with my hse expenses.
i proposed to my gf this yr march she agreed i was happy but she DEMANDED tat she dun wanna live with in laws want privacy, so she suggested my parents move back to their home, at tat time their hse still under 2 yrs contract earliest will be 2017 May, she made a big hoo haa, quarrel like crazy i no choice discuss with my parents, and fortunately they agreed to shorted the lease to 1yr and paid the penalty.
Recently i tok to her tat my parents moving back soon so we must pay for all the expenses, i took bank loan so is cash
but i'm shock she never tot of these, she got no savings at never in her mind never thought of helping out as a couple, she said her parents both not working need to support them so no $ cant commit elsewhere, my jaw drop and told her i trusted her tot she'll spare a tot on our future, she wants privacy and yet dun want contribute.
I told her we can apply BTO when i can sell my resale which is 1 1/2 yrs time then u no need contribute but she dont want, so in the end we broke up.
I realized i've been giving in to her demand so much tat i hurt my parents feeling treat them like a ball, i felt so guilty i ask for forgiveness and they forgave me, now they carry on stay with me.
I bought her a 6k diamond ring can i demand it back? i do shower her with branded and iphone and stuffs all those are meant for her, but the ring is for marriage so is different.

What bought is bought. You were the one whom bought the proposal ring to want to marry her. Since things went wrong, just move on. Going crazy over a proposal ring just going to make your life even worst. What for hold onto a 6k ring? What can you do with that ring after you take back? Will you feel happy? Probably you are just angry that you had done so much for her and this what you get in the end.
 

huxyhuxy

Member
See it as a journey to get your life on track and back (however you see it).

Continue paying for the ring installments but see it in a different light - such that the day you are done with the payment it's the day you should be completely done with her.

Best of luck =D
 

runez

New Member
my ex blocked me whatsapp and
my number so cannot call or sms her
i manage to tok to her last week on phone cos she never pickup but i told her i'll never contact her anymore after the call she pickup i told her nicely the money she owe me no need pay anymore cos she say wanna pay by instalment, and i know she in dire straits
then few days later she unblock my number n msg me how i doing and tell me she dun wan waste my time and hope i find someone better
then 2 days ago she unblock me on whatsapp n facebook
should i reply?
 
You can ask her back , but imo it's not very gentlemanly for you to do that .. secondly i doubt she will return the ring to u, as she is cash-ridden as well.. at least you don't have a BTO downpayment .. it's time to move on ...
 

octobride

Member
my ex blocked me whatsapp and
my number so cannot call or sms her
i manage to tok to her last week on phone cos she never pickup but i told her i'll never contact her anymore after the call she pickup i told her nicely the money she owe me no need pay anymore cos she say wanna pay by instalment, and i know she in dire straits
then few days later she unblock my number n msg me how i doing and tell me she dun wan waste my time and hope i find someone better
then 2 days ago she unblock me on whatsapp n facebook
should i reply?

You mentioned you are both in your late 30s
but yet she is still so immature! Still playing the block/unblock game. Really no wonder she was married for 3 years only.
Just let her go. You very nice already. My ring only costs 1k+
LOL
 

meimei1601

Member
There is definately something about her that u liked and loved that makes u do all those to her... staying with in laws is difficult and I guess she know her own temper. But I didn't said what she do is wrong.. but if she said she is poor and no money... why insist on the marriage? like many have said. She is not ready into another marriage yet...
Give sometime for both to cool down... hm... but I think it's not so nice to ask back anything u have given when u 2 are in love...
Maybe it's the losses of 3 yrs love u lost not that ring... move on ba...
 

Staypositive

Active Member
If you really wanted the ring back,try to talk to her nicely in person abt it,the more harsh you are,the more resistant she is in returning you the ring.ask her for the reason why she still hold on to the ring even though the engagement is off.let her know ur still paying the instalments for it and it's not fair to you.Ask her What She Would Do If She is In Your situation.if the above failed,take it as if you spent money to evade an imminent disaster from happening( a failed marriage).costly yes,but helps you to see what sort of woman she is and that you are lucky that you dun have to spent a lifetime with her or have the hassle to incur greater losses later on.money can be earned back,but not time.
 
You mentioned you are both in your late 30s
but yet she is still so immature! Still playing the block/unblock game. Really no wonder she was married for 3 years only.
Just let her go. You very nice already. My ring only costs 1k+
LOL
Some people just acted like that regardless of their age .. i even have a male friend who is in his 40s but still have no plans for his life !
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
You can ask her back , but imo it's not very gentlemanly for you to do that .. secondly i doubt she will return the ring to u, as she is cash-ridden as well.. at least you don't have a BTO downpayment .. it's time to move on ...
it is a lesson learnt and I guess he has to bite the bullet and move on. Depends largely on his financial situation though. Pride and dignity are not always the most important things. There is no right or wrong. Just need to evaluate the situation to do what he feels is right. Don't keep dragging and pondering over it. It is harder to move on if he keeps dwelling and getting sour over the past.
 

life_is

Active Member
my ex blocked me whatsapp and
my number so cannot call or sms her
i manage to tok to her last week on phone cos she never pickup but i told her i'll never contact her anymore after the call she pickup i told her nicely the money she owe me no need pay anymore cos she say wanna pay by instalment, and i know she in dire straits
then few days later she unblock my number n msg me how i doing and tell me she dun wan waste my time and hope i find someone better
then 2 days ago she unblock me on whatsapp n facebook
should i reply?

She's playing you. Block her on all channels and move on. You deserve better than this manipulative b****.
 

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