Any Mixed Marriages here? Esp Chinese-Malay Muslim couple

Morning! Hahaha...i din go to war yet - was becos collecting quotes from the malay BS. Hahaha..but i will...soon! Hopefully this weekend. lol
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Need u girls' opinion. I was thinking...i have 2 MTM gowns. Would it be ok if i MTM one of the gown to a generic design, then i go to tailor's and custom-make a lacey traditional-loooking (overall) 'jacket'? Duno whether it will look too modern-ish or not..
 


Hui Chin, so have you made a list of all the things to compare??

It is your wedding ... a once-in-a-lifetime event, girl, so do what you must. I think it would look great .. brings a modern twist to it.
 
huichinz,
No leh. That style which you mentioned already few years back. Saw some ppl even wearing it for hari raya.. (my cousins lah). I know what you mean. Usually the inside can be a spagetthi dress or a tube dress. Then outside, it's a lacey kebaya top worn over the dress.

hai..take 1 day leave and the piles of paper really load up my desk. Desk also no space man. Have 2 tables also no space. (*faint)
 
Chin, i lurve how you're thinking out of the box, that'll be great! Then to add more twist, you can use nice looking chopsticks as your "sanggul". Malay-ish/modern-ish outfit with a chinese twist.

IC, I commiserate. My in-tray was bursting when I came back to work after the holidays. Thankfully, I can now see an empty tray..nearly anyway...
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yooo hoo!

Long time never come in and chat with you girls. Just started working in a new company and "honeymoon period" is over now.

Huichin,

I dun think that it would be too modern-ish. Anyway, it's nice to see something fresh than the normal stereotype outfits. But basically, you have to tahan the old aunties and 'makciks' comments lar...

Marnie,

How's your honeymoon, gurl? Share some photos leh..

IC,

talk about work.. I'm drowning aredi. I joined them just when they are in the midst of staging an island-wide project. Been working 13 - 14 hours daily since Monday.. just looking forward to the weekend only now. Eh, how, my HR got call u again or not?
 
Halo halo girls...

Yea maybe i should try the gown design hor. Was thinking of doing it like corset style, with the dress. THen it will have the 'traditional melayu look'. But must have absolute proper planning! haha..thks for all the comments. Recently quite bz with work. Talk to u Girls soon yea! Have a gr888 weekend k!
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marnie,
Where's your honeymoon photos??? Post some nice scenary photos for me leh...

Ally,
Goodness..at least keep you on the "balls." Hehehe.....

huichin,
I went to the library last sunday. Dunno why pick up this bridal magazine to read. Then, flipped through and saw Golden Horse Awards... heheh..my ex-bridal studio for my wedding. And then, i saw this design. Tube dress with a modern kebaya lacey jacket. The moment i saw that, your name just appear like lightning through my head. Hahahahha.....
 
Hi Girls, sorry sorry....I'm so slow with the photos issue, as usual. So what else is new?
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We've only manage to upload a couple of photos which Meraj took with his digital camera. That's "his" camera. I was only playing with my manual SLR and my lomo camera so that will take much longer - as it is, I have yet to send the rolls to be developed --> eek!

But to whet your appetite, click here for a sneak preview of our honeymoon.
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Enjoy!
 
Hhahaaa....IC: so its ok rite! Since u said tt..hahaaa...hmm...i must go find more reference liao! hahaahaa...

Will check ur photos out soon Marnie! heheee...whoa....HIS only ah...must divide so clearly one! haha...whoa i wanna see ur lomo pix loh! so kool! hehee./..

Girls: We should be meeting up soon yea!
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Thanks IC, hubby took 99% of the photos on that camera. I don't really know how to manipulate the camera since I'm so inept when it comes to much of technology.
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I just realise there are a couple of pictures of me reading some kind of maps --> Meraj is rather bad at that cos' once he brought us walking in circles (and it was only Day 1 then!) so I took over the map-reading.
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Chin, k. Once I've developed the rolls for the lomo, I'll scan some and let you see.
 
huichin,
Yes! It was pretty. For a moment, i also thought, hmm, this kind of design getting popular in chinese bs??! Must be the "in-thing" lor!
marnie,
At least you're good in reading map. My hubby useless. Me also useless. So can't imagine if were there. Probably walk in the circle 2X.
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Marnie, from the photos - it seemed like you had a good honeymoon .. yay for you!! you must let us have a look at the rest of the pics soon yah .. how's the home coming along?

Hui Chin, yes you must plan something real soon .. i think i am suffering from withdrawal symptoms - long time never see you ladies. Before i pop yah .. hahahahha.
 
Hi Girls

I've been reading your posts since like a few days ago and i wanted to be up to date before posting something but i am still only at oct 13, 2005. You girls have the most interesting thing going! I am still trying to catch up.

Anyways, I was wondering from you girls, is there no way a mixed marriage like most of yours can survive if one half of a couple is not muslim?
 
Hi Girls

I've been reading your posts since like a few days ago and i wanted to be up to date before posting something but i am still only at oct 13, 2005. You girls have the most interesting thing going! I am still trying to catch up.

Anyways, I was wondering from you girls, is there no way a mixed marriage like most of yours can survive if one half of a couple is not muslim?
 
Hi wobs, I am sure that there are plenty of couples out there who are going strong despite differences in religion, race, etc.

Tell us more about yourself..
 
Cuclainne, the 3 rolls of film are still sitting on my office table as I type this! Procrastination as usual - guilty as charged!

We haven't touched the house yet cos' still waiting for HDB's ok to knock the walls down. We may just have to engage a professional engineer to supervise the work to convince them to allow us to knock 'em down. Bleh. So we're not about to shift till like mid November - that's what we're hoping for anyway.

Hi wobs, I know a couple who married holding on to their own faiths. The guy is a muslim and the woman a catholic. At first, a lot of resistance but they worked really hard at their marriage and they are still going strong.
 
cuclainne,
Knocking down the walls takes about 2 weeks. I had to shelve that idea since i wanted to move in fast and didn't want any delays. Now after moving in, feel a bit regret. (*faint).

wobs,
Not say no way lah... but probably minority? Marriage with different religion is already a challenge. Imagine, a union whom couples are different race & religion, that's more challenging. Coz the union doesn't only invovle 2 ppl. It invovles both sides of families as well. And seriously speaking, families don't take it very well when usually such union happens. After all, we're still culturally asians.
 
Hi ladies..

Hows thing been ?

Marnie, viewed your honeymoons picutres, really nice and envy, ROmme is a place I always wanted to go. hows marriage life so far ?

Cuclainne,

Hows thing with you and little peanut ? I think I saw you weeks ago and POpular Book SHop at orchard, but was quite far and I carried many things on hand and didnt catch up to you.

Huichin,
How's marriage preparation ? everything goes well ?

Ally ,
How are you ?

IC,
Yeah I agreed with you, marrriage with different religion is real a challenge, i am still trying hard to cope, the living habbits and many many more, going crazy liow !! anyway hows thing with you ??
 
Marnie, you're not the only one - my wedding picture books are still not ready yet because I haven't gotten back to the photographer on which photos i want ... aiyah, very tired nowadays and have taken up cross stitching .. i know, excuses excuses .. hahahahaha... but he said it's ok cos he's also been quite busy.

ic, i didn't know it takes that long to knock walls down .. need to check the structure and stuff, i suppose yah ..

elaine .. yup yup it must be me. i have been popping into popular at orchard a few times - spending money as usual .. hahahahhaa. how are you?
 
Elaine,
I'm quite alright, i supposed. Juggling with career, marriage, household & baby. (in addition to the different race & religion).

The other day, try to cook curry chicken and paceri nenas(pineapple pickles). Accidentally touched the hot wok and resulted with a burnt mark arm. So ugly. I think the scar will be there. Any idea how to lighten the scar?

cuclainne,
Yes. It takes that long! You need a PE for approval. Maximum 2 weeks. But if your contractor can fasten the process, that will be good lah. Now i regret not doing it. Because i think it will brighten up my home. It's ok lah. Wanted to move in fast anyway.
 
cuclainne,
Me okay, still trying hard to live with my hubby, whole world is like pressing me quickly make baby. Aiyo !! said like very easy hor, actually I really got no intention to have one, but you know la. with the kampong familes of his, sure nowhere to escape !! this coming Hari Raya visting for sure right left front back questions answer contest.

ic,
Why you so careless ?? marks can fade off easily by applying some lightening cream and with supplement Vit E, "scar" hmmm can be lighten, but a longgeerrr time.. hehe careful ya, hows your baby ??
 
Well, for me the situation is like the couple marnie knows. In fact exactly like that. Marnie, how did that couple work out?
What would be the right thing to do?
We are both of different race and religion. His mom does not have a problem with me but is very religious, my parents like him to. Just when it comes down to marriage, is even a way at all?
 
wobs, most of their respective families have ostracised them. Their children are atheist (no religion) - but are now at that age where they are questioning.

They nearly divorced. So many issues to think about. Not just about getting married. But like what if the marriage doesn't work out. Worse, if you have kids, what will happen to the children. Whether one likes it or not, religion plays a part in a marriage. It helps to bring strength and faith and you know you both have something that is same to hold you up.

Elaine, aiye....sure happen one..! But just smile and just ignore that question. I am guessing I will get it too but I am so not ready at this point what with the house sitution. So I still have a bit of excuse. hehehe

Cuclainne, so when are you due again? Are you getting the hang of things with the bump on your tummy?

Alamak IC, you can apply Vitamin E cream - good to lighten up any pigmentation and scars.
 
ic, use Vit E like the others have mentioned. It should lighten the scar ...

elaine, no need to rush or feel pressured into having kids so soon .. me and ah boy had planned on having 'us' time for about a year before even considering having kids but peanut came along so that's that.

marnie, the EDD is 3 November but i hardly look 7 months' pregnant leh - just look like i have a 'lunch belly' - hahahahah! moving about is quite a pain now .. even lying on my back for 30 minutes can hurt. but what to do - just have to bear with it for a few more months now before it's time!! you all must come and see the baby yah!
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wobs, you may feel like sweeping this issue under the carpet and hope it will go away but it's definitely something you need to address. my husband is an atheist when we met - and trust me, religion was definitely something i didn't want to bring up so soon into the relationship but i knew that eventually, we would have to face up to the question. he converted (his parents didn't mind, and my parents didn't push him into making this decision, nor do they ask him to be ultra-religious immediately) - these things take time. now that i'm expecting our first child, that is another hurdle to clear. It's not easy but if you have the ways and means to make it work, why not?
 
Girls,
Ok, thanks for the tip. Shall buy this Vit E cream over the weekend. Was telling hubby that if only got money, i will go for the fast way out. Plastic surgery to remove that brown scar. Heheh..
Then you know what hubby said??!? "no need lah, you married already... no need to attract anybody." ARGH.

Elaine,
Baby getting naughtier and going towards Phase 2.

Girls
All these babies stories with families. Never ending. Trust me. Now ppl ask me when i'm going to have no.2 ??!?! They think i baby machine or what! Feel like asking them to get their own life.

Anyway, hehe, happy that Hari Raya this year is only for 1 day. So excusable to cut down a lot of visitings. Plus escape from relatives asking me when i'm going to do housewarming. Ok, a bit of history.. I only held family prayers in the house within own family members. Never do those grand housewarming whereby invite friends/relatives. Can't be bothered. I rather used that cash money to buy furniture. heh heh
 
ic, save your money - there is no guarantee that scar revision will remove the scar permanently. sometimes the pigmentation will still remain .. i know, i work with plastic surgery here ..

me too .. because we're just renting the place, i just had prayers with my immediate family members - but of course i would like to invite you girls to come over for makan and gossip one day .. just wonder when i will ever get the house in tip-top condition for that. sigh ...
 
Elaine,

Hi girl! Me..hmm.. Juz got on board new job since 3 weeks ago. Still trying to settle myself in.

Marnie,

Nice honeymoon pix!

IC,

Vit E cream works best but takes sometime for the scar to fade away. Anyway.. can ask for some sampling of your cooking?

Hacking wall take that long ah? I did hack my kitchen wall..but can't seem to recall how long it takes..

You ppl talking abt having babies.. I already have 2 kids and yet my relatives have been asking when no. 3's coming soon. piangz!! As it is my home condition is always like kena tornado like that!
 
cuclainne,
I thought it's suppose to be fast. You know, one of my friend had a burnt scar on her face. She told me it was so ugly and it was 1 week to hari raya. Apparently, she applied the cream too much which left her a burnt mark. So went to the doctor and the doctor told her if she wants fast turnover, laser. She paid $500 and went for it. I don't even see the scar on her face. If she didn't tell me, i wouldn't have known also.

But i really do wish to go for it to remove my pimple scars.
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heh heh (*vainpot)

Ally,
You know after all that effort and a burnt mark on my arm, my hubby said the paceri nenas not nice. ARGH! Told me no need to cook fanciful stuffs. So i think if i give you my sample, surely not to your standard also. Hai.. after all, if i do malay cooking, always use instant. I think most of the time i just stick to chicken stock, oyster sauce and light soy sauce
 
My colleague went for excision of skin tags on her face - they came back after a few months leh. And another went for IPL to lighten the pigmentation on her cheeks - at first, she was so happy cos it seemed to have work but it came back! So save your money la ..
 
cuclainne,
hmm..seems like you're not into plastic surgery.
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What you think of botox etc? I don't find it a necessary to have botox lah. But a lot of ppl now go for it.
 
ic, it's not that i'm trying to stop anyone from having plastic surgery done but sometimes the outcome can be unfavourable and then it'll be such a waste of money. i heard that botox is quite painful, when they administer it and your face gets so stretched that people might think you're constipated or something .. hahahaha.. yup, a lot of women go for aesthetic procedures nowadays. occasionally guys will call up too, to find more for their wives/ girlfriends .. maybe even mistresses .. hehehehehe..
 
IC,

Alamak, your hubby not very supportive of your cooking leh. If I were you, I would have boycotted and not cook for at least a week.

Cuclainne,

You're due in Nov..not very far off hor? prepared everything liao?
 
cuclainne,
I bet the clientele of those who goes to plastic surgery are the rich & famous. Or the rich high class ppl.

Ally,
he only wants to eat home-cook simple chinese food.
 
Ally,

Where you working now huh ?? no more childcare ? sorry ya, me very out dated .

ic,
your hubby wants chinese food, my hubby wants malay food, and till now I still yet to learn any of them accept curry chicken, and hor I always over estimate with chilli and ended up he rejected abit
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hmm.... dont understand lei, when i were at his mum place, i can still take malay food, but he just dont like chinese food, and I only know how to cook chinese food lei, should have marry a chinese hubby to appeciate my cooking hahahah!! oh shit !! kena hamtum !!

Botox ?? hmm.. every few months got to go for a jap, unless i am very rich, one of my friend only one jap and her face looks funny to me. look so stiff. I still think dont do anything will be the best, coz not everybody look good in botox.
 
Ally .. almost prepared liao but still have some things to take care of .. a bit scared leh but too late for that now eh ... hahahahah!

ic, most of the people who goes for aesthetic procedures nowadays are ordinary people who's decided to splurge a little (by this i actually mean A LOT!) on themselves ..

i guess i am the luckiest here - i seldom cook, the husband and i mainly order take-away so when i do finally cook at home, he appreciates it more .. heheheheh!
 
Elaine,

I'm still in the same industry but now working in a sub-govt organisation.

Talk about food, my hubby also like that - always want malay food. But cooking malay food abit leceh lar and after working whole day - I don't wish to face another war in teh kitchen..so in the end.. we just managed to agree on ordering those tingkat food. By the way - anybody knew of any Muslim caterers that have such services?

Cuclainne,

Too late to back out now. Just have to make sure that hubby is in town and don't ever leave your sight from now till EDD. Like me - no hubby during 1st delivery - very cham!
 
cuclainne,
Well I definitely don't want to sweep it under the carpet but i unfortunately have to tell you i've been sweeping for 5 years now. I don't know how to do things without hurting anyone's families and stay together at the same time.

Marnie
So I guess it wasn't good for the couple. I definitely do feel that children should have a religion when growing up. So any other advice?

Thanks for your replys by the way.
 
Ally, yup - ah boy has already told his employer that he don't want to travel in oct/ nov cos he needs to be here for me, just in case. his colleagues whose wives have recently delivered also did the same .. imagine if i had gone into labour when he was in india a few weeks ago - i'd be bloody miffed!!

wobs, that was my concern too - how the husband would take to the idea of conversion and how his family will perceive it .. but thankfully for me, once the husband made up his mind, his family never brought it up - they just accepted it and that's the end of that.

conversion doesn't mean the end of all ties with your family - i mean, the husband is still his parents' son after all.
 
Cuclainne
Thanks for your advice. Seeing as we both have our own religion, as long as one conversion takes place, there will always be one person who lives the rest of their lives in resentment, i mean if that is not what they want.
 
Elaine,
Go for cooking classes? There are quite a number of cooking classes available now. Typical malay guys seldom like to eat home-cooked chinese food coz they think very bland. Unless they go out eat in those chinese muslim restaurants. Somehow the chinese muslim restaurants cook always nicer. For me oklah, since hubby prefers chinese home-cooked food. Much easier for me. So on weekdays, i cook chinese food (after a hard day work, this is really easy). Then on weekends, i try to whip up malay dishes. (usually using instant rempahs..heh)

Ally,
Last time in malay newspapaer there is advertisment for tingkat catering.. Dari catering. (something like that) Not sure whether still available.

wobs,
If the husband ok. Then should be ok. It's not one person who will live in resentment. It's the family. And sometimes even though the other party have already converted, sometimes the other family still have doubts about the sincerity.
 
cuclainne,
My son is going to the same childcare as your peanut!! Except that we're at different locations.Oh..i'm so glad i've settled this childcare issue. Nearly drive me mad.
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. So many places all full house. I can't imagine if next time i have to go through this phase again when he enters pri.1
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Girls, this is worse than preparing for a wedding.
 
ic,
Yeah I guess chinese food is to bland for my hubby, thats why he rather dont eat, malay food alot of work lei, and needed alot of oil and coconuts, my way of curry chicken i add in milk instead, luckly hubby cant taste much different, but I know MIl sure can. OH NO!!! this coming Hari Raya, again whole kampong coming to my place for makan, i better start looking into some malay cooking book. HEADACHE !!!! I always love chinese food, many ways of cooking, and less oil, less salt no msg when i cook at home. Never like foodcourt.


Glad that your son childcare issue settled, you mean you took very long to look for one ? and cuclainne already enrol her peanut who is still in her tummy ?? wow !!!! should I think twice to have baby ?? hahahaha...
 
wobs, understand what you mean. the issue of religion is not one to be taken lightly .. i do hope you'll be able to come to an amicable solution .. these things have a way of sorting themselves out.

ic, your son will be in infantcare or toddler class? yah lor .. at this moment, i am still on the waiting list .. keeping my fingers crossed that there will be a place available for her by february because vacancies are only every 18-month cycle.

elaine, i made a mistake of procrastinating for the registration of infantcare for peanut. my colleagues had advised me to sign up as soon as they heard about my pregnancy but i dilly-dally until a few months ago. i should have signed up as soon as the blue line appeared on the test kit ... hahahahahahhah! one of my colleagues even more kiasu - she said she'll register as soon as she starts planning for another kid - that's how difficult it is to get places in the childcare centres.
 
Elaine,
Yes it is!! For the toddler class, majority all ratio of 1:8! (1 teacher : 8 toddlers).

cuclainne,
No, my side don't have infantcare. Enrolling him in the toddler class.
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Got staff rate.. then FTWM got $150 subsidy. Hehe...so even cheaper. Good luck! Hope you get a place for peanut.
 
IC,

Great to hear that you have solved your son's childcare arrangements. So will it be the one near your mum's workplace?

Can't find the caterer that you mentioned in the papers. But hor, I noticed that malay caterers charged higher than the chinese counterparts for such tingkat food services.


Elaine,

FYI, the standard ratio for this age group(18 mths - 3 yrs) is 1:8. But it depends on the different centres. Should there be 2 teachers in the class, then they can actually accept 16 toddlers.
 

Ally,
Yeah..i know. But $150 not much lah. The infantcare is better. $400 subsidy. Then again, infantcare also expensive. Yah, not working is $75 subsidy only.

Elaine,
I'm so curious. When your hubby's whole kampong come to your house to makan during Hari Raya, what do you usually whipped up? If me, i sure stress. Becoz all the while i use instant rempahs. Heh. If for me such cases were to happen, i would just cater! So i'm really curious, what you whip up??? You know how to cook those sambal goreng, sambal pengantin, kuah satay, sambal udang, etc etc..???
 
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