(2011/10) Oct 2011 BTB

[cherry_chripy]

Hey Levonne ! I am Happy BTB of MY Bridal Room

Comments bout them is awesome, be it gowns, service, photography . hee

You can ask me any questions bout My Bridal Room.

 

[lyn_sg]

all: Now I am thinking of bridal car rental. How much in advance do people usually book it?

Another thing is honeymoon. Where are you all going to?

 

[alcossbossie]

I have selected Rico-A-Mona instead of My bridal Room as I realized their indoor shoot is not very nice. Somemore the consultant who talked to us was very long winded. When I asked her if I decided jus to rent the gown, how much was the cost, her faced changed.

 

[alcossbossie]

Anyone heard of Unique Colour?

 

[cherry_chripy]

wah .. sorry to hear bout that levonne .

Who you liaise with at My Bridal Room ?

 

[purple_l0ve]

hello fellow jiemeis~

its already mid of Jan. Most things done already over at your side?

 

[lyn_sg]

Joy: i am planning to go in Nov but not sure where. Why did you decide on Europe? We are thinking of going somewhere where we can spend a longer time there like 2 weeks or more. Somewhere relaxing but not so expensive that we have to think before spending especially on food.

Levonne: I went Rico and served by Jessie, she's nice and not pushy. I think the coordinator is very important so it's good that you decide on one that you are comfortable with. Glad that you have confirmed your BS, one load down.

Initially I wanted unique colour but no reply to our email after quite some time. So we decided to call, they said that they were so busy that they have no time to meet us till 2-3 weeks later. I dont have the time to wait and I was worried that since 2011 have so many weddings, they may not have the resources to do a good job for mine. My husband also said that he preferred those with an office so we decided not to go with unique colour. I think their video is quite nice but many couples have the same scene at the same location which i do not like.

 

[alcossbossie]

Cherry: I liaised with Julia

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Cloudy, we are thinking of a two-week trip too. Europe because we have never been there together before and we love love love Europe. Most likely Rome, Paris and Amsterdam to visit his uncle. Second choice would be US of A! Where will you be going in November? Damn cold leh!

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Vivi, I chose my band because I heard them at my friend's birthday dinner celebration. SPLENDID and AWESOME. Everybody enjoyed the singing that is done in Mandarin, Hokkien, Japanese, Korean and English. Everyone had such a great time. I insisted on hiring them for my wedding in future. After my fiance proposed and we were deciding on wedding stuff, I knew they were the ONLY choice I would settle on.

Now they will be playing for my corporate event AND wedding.

www.yourstruly.com.sg

 

[pocarisweat]

min: will send them email .. tx~

joy: u wanna visit so many countries in two weeks? will be so rush ...

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: We are still thinking of where to go. Yet to decide. Think i have to research on where is good to go in Nov. USA is nice. Europe i'm not sure exactly where will be good. Not familiar. He also mentioned Japan, Alaska.

But Japan will be difficult since language barrier. And we dont quite feel like going with tour group. Can join a tour but prefer those more F&E ones.

Think have to look up on more information to see where is nice.

all: For those going to USA, i think west coast is great especially the national parks.

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Vivi: yes we have to consider the time and country factor. Don't want it to be too rush.

Cloudy, I thought of Japan too but it's quite rare that both of us have 2 weeks block leave so wanna make the most of it by going to Europe.

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: Yar, we thought of going further too cause want to spend a longer time. Hard for both to go together on long trips next time.

 

[pocarisweat]

Europe is very different ‘feel’ compared to asian countries. .. pace is much slower n architecture, food n history r so rich over there .. but beware of pickpockets as it is very common and the pple are actually quite racist~ Doubt I m gg to europe as I managed to cover most of western Europe and some eastern Europe while I was studying and working there …

But I m gg to Ldn to attend a frd’s wedding this April .. can’t wait to be back~ yipee~

Japan is actually not as difficult as some thinks as they hv Chinese characters and the Japanese are very nice and friendly ~ and there is lotsa things to do in Japan in different seasons! Sakura in Spring, skilling in winter, hot spring in Autumn/Winter/Spring, hiking in Summer and all year round shopping for beauty products! And it is not as expensive as some may think as they are good and cheap eats as well ..

 

[bibao]

Is violet and grace here?

 

[pocarisweat]

Min is such a sweetheart! Call me to tell me a good lobang! And she is so frdly and hyper (can tell over the phone)! heehee!

we shld arrange a meetup for the oct btb!

 

[lyn_sg]

Vivi: Where will you be going for your honeymoon?

 

[lunaaa]

Hi girls, methinks we would definitely require helpers to coordinate and manage the actual day. Please PM me if you have contacts. Usually wedding coordinators are hired for pre wedding services but we don't require that. So let me know if you have friends or contacts who are experienced on actual day.

 

[bibao]

Vivi, it was nice talking to you too!

 

[pocarisweat]

Min: yah . .didnt expect u to be sooooooooooohyper and jovial compared to her 'cool' look! heehee

 

[queenie82]

vivi: honeystar!! lol~ part one and part two! I like~~

Yeah~ the most happening BTB group shld meet up!

 

[pocarisweat]

min: u look 冰山美人! but after speaking u, u are very passionate & fiery lady! haha!

queen: yah lor! oct btb å§å¦¹ gathering!

 

[lyn_sg]

vivi: nice plan.

queen: A meet-up will be nice. Too bad i cant.

 

[pocarisweat]

cloud: m sure we will still meet up after our wedding and u can join us then~

 

[lunaaa]

Have further questions, girls! So perplexed about this.

1. We are not doing the gatecrashing thing and will be doing tea ceremony at hotel suite. As the suite is still not big enough for 40 or 50 people, just wondering if it is all right to do it in different stages? Appreciate those who did it at hotel to comment.

Also which type of relatives must be involved in tea ceremony? I understand to include our parents’ siblings of course. But how about our own older cousins and how about long distance relatives like our parents’ uncles / cousins? Must my fiancé’s older siblings and my young brother be involved too? Then since my brother is younger, must I give him ang pow?

Appreciate all comments. I have no one to ask. My fiance’s family is super bochup modern type, my in-law doesn’t even know what is guo da li, resulting in my parents being a bit pissed off. And my parents have no idea on the tea ceremony questions I highlighted too, because my own parents have no experience in this. I’m the eldest.

2. My fiancé and I are paying for the wedding dinner ourselves. What is the protocol then in terms of bride’s family asking for number of tables? My parents still thinks they have to ASK my in-law for a few tables. But isn’t this question irrelevant now that the bride and groom are paying for the dinner and decided the tables for both families?

To cross-post to main forums.

 

[bibao]

Its common for mum to ask for tables de hongbaos la... And its not from in laws. Its from you and hubby lo.Its up to one's mindset how u look at it ba. Initally when my mum request for 5 tables, i was pissed. Though my hubby seems to feel a bit stress, but he told me actually mum yang us till so grown up so actually give a few tables only quite ok. I agreed. But i still trying to "neg" with my mum. haha.

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Min, thanks for your input. I didn't mention my fiance and I are particularly small-hearted as we didn't want to give any table's angpow to my mom as she didn't really bring me up yet expect the world ($$$) out from me. She is trying to make a sale out of me from my own wedding so I'm finding out what's the norm.

How about the tea ceremony? Any comments on that?

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: I just did the guo da li discussion with parents from both sides. We are paying for the banquet so there's no table request since it's more of an exchange of gifts between the parents.

The items from groom are:
Dragon and Phoenix candles
oranges
wine
pin jin (did not specify amount)
wedding cakes
si dian jin
canned pig trotters (since they are hokkien, part of the custom)

If your parents want the tables, i think the 2 of you can just provide for it since all ang pao for banquet will be kept by you.

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: As for the tea ceremony, can ask the hotel for a function room. It's usually free as part of the package, can check with your hotel. For mine, they provided a function room for 80 pax but i changed to 100 pax.

For me, just parents, grandparents, elder siblings, aunts/uncles. No distance relatives or elder cousins. Younger siblings, you must give ang pao.

Hope it helps.

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Cloudy, thank, this helps a lot. For hotel, we intend to do it at my suite. At least now we have a clear idea on who to invite for tea ceremony. That means many people will be CUT out hahaha.

I'm not sure if I want my fiance to buy the candles and pig trotters, don't think my parents will use them. But if it makes my dad happy, I'd do it. As for the angpows, hope to hear more opinions from others regarding this issue. My fiance and I may not be able to provide angpows for my mom (though I'm sure some relatives will pass angpows to her directly, if so, then I'm OK with it, what to do..)

The financial reason being, my fiance and I have already paid for COV, house reno, and everything else. My mom refused to help a single cent, not even lending us and not even lending with interest rate. She knows it is tough on us this year yet insists on keeping angpows. And she is also not giving or buying me any jewellery. Not that I die die want it but it makes me feel she is not my mom, that's all. No emotional or financial support. Aiyah long story la.

 

[queenie82]

Hey Joy,

dun fret~ I for one will be taking all the angpows to pay for the banquet~ mum says it's ok~ i told her if after the banquet we can still afford an ap, will give her as a token~~

i think she understand how expensive it is to hold a banquet nowadays plus starting a family~~

maybe u need to talk to her and let her know that even if u are married, u will still be providing for her~~

 

[lunaaa]

Yes, she knows that, Queenie. But she insists on having the angpow, even if I have to borrow from bank, I have to do it.

We ever asked if we could give angpow money after the wedding ends, maybe two months after that. But a no is a no.

 

[confusex]

Agree with Queenie.

I told my mom either she can keep the ang pao given by her friends and relative but to help to pay for the number of table she has ask for

or after the wedding if we can cover the banquet we will give her an ang pao.

Joy you not the only one.. actually my mom ask for 10 tables .. I almost faint as.. the 10 tables ang pao will be into her pocket... but after discussing with her.. she understand..

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: Glad it gives you some idea. It's good for both side to meet up and discuss so that there wont be any unhappiness later as both know what to expect.

For the guo da li stuff, it's all tradition so just doing for the elderly. I dont want aunts/eldery to say "not nice things". Anyway, customary is all doing for the eldery to see mah. What we can do then just do lor.

For the ang pao, those that relatives pass to her then I guess have to give her bah. Not nice to ask back also. It's your big day, just do what you can and dont think too much to make yourself upset.

 

[bibao]

yup. this table angbaos issue is an issue.i did not mean that you and ur htb are small hearted la. Only tellin you my case lo. =0

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Amy, Min and Cloudy, the thing is my mom does not understand.

It has already become an issue. My fiance's mom is older, has 3 kids yet is so modern she doesn not know what guo da li means, and does not care for all the traditional stuff too. She actually scoffed to my fiance that my parents require the guo da li things. Sigh.

Anyway Min, I don't mean to be sarcastic. I don't intend to. I mean it as I really am small-hearted. I really don't want to give my mom angpow when we already are so tight...

And she and I are not on good terms either. I rather give to my dad but he die die wont take.

 

[lunaaa]

Oh to add on, when my fiance's siblings got married, they don't do the traditional things too. That's why my in-law is clueless.

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: For me, i just try to do whatever i can even if i dont like. As long both side parents are happy then it's ok. Afterall, they are our parents.

I think it is not right to remove the guo da li stuff if your parents want it. After all, it's a tradition and it's not wrong for them to want it. But if both sides dont want, then it is ok. But if either side request for it, the other side should agree.

Can see that you are under a lot of tension cause of this. Dont say that you are small-hearted. Be nice and you will get the rewards in other ways. Maybe you are nice to your mum now and you will have a super nice daughter next time. Stay positive and happy ok?

 

[lunaaa]

Hi Cloudy, yes, that's why we will be giving the traditional stuff. My fiance wants to give cause he knows my side respects customs. It's just weird now when they meet as one party thinks the other is disrespectful and another party thinks the other is kampung. Sigh. My in-law even commented to her daughter (my new sis-in-law) that it is weird that my mom insists on taking my angpow when we are so tight already.

My fiance and I plan for them to meet next weekend or the weekend before CNY. Hope everyone will be in good moods and not argue or fight.

 

[lunaaa]

Cloudy, just realised we are same-day bride!

 

[pocarisweat]

家家有本难念的ç»... juz do what u feel liked doing lor. its our wedding n we can only try to please ur elders .. from ur case, if it is not making u happy, then shld juz forget abt it~ if i m gg to b unhappy juz to make others happy, abit wrong ...

at the end of the day, u juz hv to ask urself this...she is ur mum. but if u feel unjust for watever reason, then juz make urself happy first! we want to b happy brides! not sulky brides!

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: I think it is good to find out a bit from both side before the meet up then can think about it before the discussion.

Like my mum, I asked her what she want and she said dont know. They give what then she take what. Then i told my mother in law and she said cannot. Need to give her a list of items. So end up i went to research on internet on the common items for guo da li and discuss with my mum before the meet-up.

There's things that i dont like too like cant go to fren's wedding cause i have a very close cousin who is getting married 2 weeks before me. Then we want to go to each others one. Her side is ok and my family is ok but mil say better not go. =(

Haha, i think our big day has many people. Will see so many bridal cars on the road.

It's good that you have your house ready. I am still waiting for mine. So no choice must stay his house sigh. I suggested stay separately but cannot.

But let's just be happy and forget about all the unhappy problems on that day.

 

[lunaaa]

Yes, my mom said she didn't want "anything". But ended up she was SO SUPER DUPER UNHAPPY she shouted at me after I told her my in-law said she shouldn't take angpow as we are very tight already. And she added this hurtful statement about how she will let everyone know I'm worthless (she really made it seem like she would be selling me LOL). She would tell everyone I have no dowry and since my in-law will not be giving her angpow money or other monetary gifts, she won't buy me anything for my wedding. Yup, that's my mom!

We got our marital home in October 2010. Haven't moved in yet. I wanted to delay moving in as I think living together quite sian sian feeling. Reno will be completed in June 2011. Wedding in October 2011. Then housewarming in November 2011. Can't wait for all to be over. Then I can slowly distance myself from my $-faced mom.

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: Poor thing. Try to focus on the happy things bah.

How come you say living together quite sian? Just 2 of you should be er ren shi jie mah. I want my house to come soon but then no $ reno so cannot too soon either. So contradicting.

 

[lunaaa]

Cause I can't imagine seeing my other half everyday. I'm afraid both of us will be sian of each other. If you are waiting for house, it is BTO new flat? Not much reno to do, very good. Everything is new.

 

[lyn_sg]

joy: Minus away working time and sleeping time, not a lot of time to see each other haha.

Yar, BTO. We went to see re-sale but the prices are too high. Dont have so much cash so have to slowly wait for BTO. Not much reno but still need quite a lot of cash. The kitchen, furnitures, electronic equipments, etc etc... dont know need how much $.

 

[bibao]

Joy: When ur wedding date?

 

[bibao]

Joy: You can fill up your details on the spreadsheet for 2011 brides! =)

 

[lunaaa]

Cloudy: The market is really sky-high and will stay so for awhile. If we can get BTO, we will surely want it. This resale flat we got is not expensive. Still considered affordable. But we paid high COV. Including reno, we bust our $100K savings already. That's why we will get furniture on 0% instalment.

Every month's savings to go into the house reno fund. Usually new flat reno wont exceed $35K unless you have a lot of carpentry work done. On this topic, if you want reno contacts, I can provide. I contacted 12 contractors and got 8 quotations before deciding on this one.

Min: Where is the spreadsheet? Here? On the forum?! my date is 30 Oct, same as Cloudy.