(2005) Brides of year 2005
- Thread starter bubblez
- Start date
stupy,
we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves so we are not going to entertain giving tables or pin jin. I am still going to give my mum allowance so i don't see why my family have to get some form of money during my marriage. If my FH have to come out money to give my mum that will mean that I will have to help to pay more for the wedding?!?!
we are paying for the whole wedding ourselves so we are not going to entertain giving tables or pin jin. I am still going to give my mum allowance so i don't see why my family have to get some form of money during my marriage. If my FH have to come out money to give my mum that will mean that I will have to help to pay more for the wedding?!?!
touraco, is it?? i m expecting my parents to return me all the ang pows leh.. cos all the expenses including my "pin jin" are all handled by us, not to mention my love nest...
As for my parents, i hope they can jus take a small token of 88 bucks.. i would rather use the money for our honeymoon etc.. so in this sense, i agree wif karen...
even the 4 dian jin, i told my parents not to give me, jus give me a big big ang pow will do.. then i can use these money into better use. cos har, if they give me so much jewellary, i wun wear eventually.. so will be wasted!!!
As for my parents, i hope they can jus take a small token of 88 bucks.. i would rather use the money for our honeymoon etc.. so in this sense, i agree wif karen...
even the 4 dian jin, i told my parents not to give me, jus give me a big big ang pow will do.. then i can use these money into better use. cos har, if they give me so much jewellary, i wun wear eventually.. so will be wasted!!!
cookies_gal
New Member
For hokkien brides, seems that their mums will give them some jewellry as part of their dowry This is not to be confused with si dian jing! (My mum is insisting on buying me a pair of gold bangles coz it's her family practice!
)
It's quite common that even if the bride & groom are paying for everything, the brides side will expect to keep the ang paos of the tables given to them by the groom side. If you are not prepared to follow this practice, ought to make it clear to your parents and get them to agree.
As for pin jin, it's now quite common to give a token sum esp if tables are given to the bride's side. Definition of what is token sum depends on individuals I guess... People don't want to feel like they are "selling" their daughters so now, they don't ask for a big pin jin anymore.
It's quite common that even if the bride & groom are paying for everything, the brides side will expect to keep the ang paos of the tables given to them by the groom side. If you are not prepared to follow this practice, ought to make it clear to your parents and get them to agree.
As for pin jin, it's now quite common to give a token sum esp if tables are given to the bride's side. Definition of what is token sum depends on individuals I guess... People don't want to feel like they are "selling" their daughters so now, they don't ask for a big pin jin anymore.
smilemelody
New Member
ming
thanks..i go take a look this weekend
that building quite quiet...seldom ppl go there for shopping..if i m not wrong..that is the headquarters for prudential
thanks..i go take a look this weekend
that building quite quiet...seldom ppl go there for shopping..if i m not wrong..that is the headquarters for prudential
cookies_gal
New Member
pin jin should translate to bride price right?
anna, no lah.. s for the wedding, we are coming up the whole amt from ourselves. I din want their family to pay for the banquet... his dad will already be paying for the air tic n hotel accomodation of his relatives who will be flying over, (quite many of them are coming, so his side will pay for a lot already) so it's fair tt we pay for the banquet..
no leh.. 4 dian jin is from my parents according to my understanding leh..
von, i agree wif u, cos previously my sis also ask for angbao from my parents instead of jewellary... in the end, my paretns knew tt they need money, so give them a big angbao in the end which can cover almost the honey moon trip!!
no leh.. 4 dian jin is from my parents according to my understanding leh..
von, i agree wif u, cos previously my sis also ask for angbao from my parents instead of jewellary... in the end, my paretns knew tt they need money, so give them a big angbao in the end which can cover almost the honey moon trip!!
Leeds - think this pin jin stuff is like a traditional practices. Something like wat Cookie said, bride price.
Cutie - your FH is giving $2888? So did you managed to find out from your mom how much will she be taking?
Cookie - Long time ago, I oredi told my mom & MIL that I dun want any 916 yellow gold for my 4 dian jin or dowry. Imagine w your beautiful designed gown & wearing all these stuffs really look Ee....eeeeeee!!
Cutie - your FH is giving $2888? So did you managed to find out from your mom how much will she be taking?
Cookie - Long time ago, I oredi told my mom & MIL that I dun want any 916 yellow gold for my 4 dian jin or dowry. Imagine w your beautiful designed gown & wearing all these stuffs really look Ee....eeeeeee!!
vela
bs will eb paid by fh.. my mum was quite surprised that fpil are not paying for bs cos she is used to the practise that all cost are picked up by family.
stupy
actually i din ask for more si dian zhuan. my fpil hv tradition of giving si dian zhuan, so i specify that i wan white gold and i wan to choose myself and i specify the budget abt how much is needed for the si dian zhuan i want.
leeds
dunno what my parents will give actually. i am trying to ask mum for a simple soliataire earring in a gd size. but hv not broach it with her yet.haha.
bs will eb paid by fh.. my mum was quite surprised that fpil are not paying for bs cos she is used to the practise that all cost are picked up by family.
stupy
actually i din ask for more si dian zhuan. my fpil hv tradition of giving si dian zhuan, so i specify that i wan white gold and i wan to choose myself and i specify the budget abt how much is needed for the si dian zhuan i want.
leeds
dunno what my parents will give actually. i am trying to ask mum for a simple soliataire earring in a gd size. but hv not broach it with her yet.haha.
cookie's
my mum wants to buy jewel for me too...i ask them to give me cash but she says it doesn't look nice leh
sigh...me not on very good terms with my mum so...i also don't know what to do
i told her i needed the cash and she said...if u need cash...u wldn't go out shopping lah..buy new clothes...go holidays etc
my mum wants to buy jewel for me too...i ask them to give me cash but she says it doesn't look nice leh
sigh...me not on very good terms with my mum so...i also don't know what to do
i told her i needed the cash and she said...if u need cash...u wldn't go out shopping lah..buy new clothes...go holidays etc
blur
si dian jing is from pil not parents. dunno what you call the jewellery from parents though..
yr fpil helping you with buying hse? then in which case will be quite a bit lor...
leeds
zhuan is just diamonds. jing is gold. you speak chinese? or indo only. me can speak chinese but standard is very lousy.
si dian jing is from pil not parents. dunno what you call the jewellery from parents though..
yr fpil helping you with buying hse? then in which case will be quite a bit lor...
leeds
zhuan is just diamonds. jing is gold. you speak chinese? or indo only. me can speak chinese but standard is very lousy.
ohhh.. okie.. i m not very into this kind of tradition.. i hope not to receive too many gold bangles etc.. money will do!! hahah.. very money minded hor?? sometimes got no choice one, relatives sure give jewellary.
I dun wear too much jewellery, so giving me too much oso no use.
leeds, anna, well.. my PIL are quite open actually, They will pay for the air tic n accomodation.. mayb some furnitures for my future love nest.. but me n FH feel tt we should come out wif the bulk of money for our wedding.
I dun wear too much jewellery, so giving me too much oso no use.
leeds, anna, well.. my PIL are quite open actually, They will pay for the air tic n accomodation.. mayb some furnitures for my future love nest.. but me n FH feel tt we should come out wif the bulk of money for our wedding.
cookies_gal
New Member
4 dian jing/zhuan. THis is a actually a teochew tradition. If your FH is teochew, he's expected to give. Some teochew brides may insist for this also.
Pin jing is what's given from the groom family to the bride. Usually given on Guo Da Li. Historically, it's like you're paying the bride's family the money to thank them for bringing up the daughter. But usu brides' families in the olden days want to make money out of it, so will demand quite a high amount for pin jin lor. Hence, now it's more of a token sum coz parents don't want to give the impression that they're selling their daughters.
Another olden practice is this concept of "jia zhuang" or dowry. This is what the brides' parents give to the bride to bring into her marriage. The more they can give her the more well off she is. Also, this is strictly her property. So those drama always show that when the family is very in need of money, the wife will pawn off her dowry! It's good if the item that is given to the bride is some kind of hierloom, so much more meaningful!
Pin jing is what's given from the groom family to the bride. Usually given on Guo Da Li. Historically, it's like you're paying the bride's family the money to thank them for bringing up the daughter. But usu brides' families in the olden days want to make money out of it, so will demand quite a high amount for pin jin lor. Hence, now it's more of a token sum coz parents don't want to give the impression that they're selling their daughters.
Another olden practice is this concept of "jia zhuang" or dowry. This is what the brides' parents give to the bride to bring into her marriage. The more they can give her the more well off she is. Also, this is strictly her property. So those drama always show that when the family is very in need of money, the wife will pawn off her dowry! It's good if the item that is given to the bride is some kind of hierloom, so much more meaningful!
touraco
oh dear...like dat its quite hard to talk to yr mum then..you must feel rather burdened. maybe you can get fh to give a smaller angpow to her then she no choice hv to accept right? cannot kick a big fuss... not nice. maybe make a figure 888... and then just act blur.
oh dear...like dat its quite hard to talk to yr mum then..you must feel rather burdened. maybe you can get fh to give a smaller angpow to her then she no choice hv to accept right? cannot kick a big fuss... not nice. maybe make a figure 888... and then just act blur.
jellytots77
New Member
hi everyone....... good morning..... ops shld be afternoon liao........ busy whole morning so no free to come in loh..... kekeke
oh we have 2 new gals ard huh...... welcom fay n Linda.........
oh cutie...... u gog to extract ur wisdom out huh.... no wonder legend say " beautiful woman usually no wisdom "........ so u @@ no wonder call chio chio....... kekeke just joking........
anyway *jelly hand up 2* also no wisdom but not beautiful leh......... maybe must extract one then beautiful lah.........
ops..... not targetting at anyone..... no offence pls..... im saying myself lah.....
yo vela....... doing now sending mass email....
oh talk abt the buying the soiled panties... well @@ tao zi show at SCV... there this two ladies actually selling their soiled panties on net and earning abt S$5k per month leh....... one of the gal even sell her soiled tampon leh..... disgusting rite..... but if can earn good $$ why not..... kekeke....... oh they even have regular customers...... oh....... best part is that most of the customers are young man and look bery si wen one........ omg
oh we have 2 new gals ard huh...... welcom fay n Linda.........
oh cutie...... u gog to extract ur wisdom out huh.... no wonder legend say " beautiful woman usually no wisdom "........ so u @@ no wonder call chio chio....... kekeke just joking........
anyway *jelly hand up 2* also no wisdom but not beautiful leh......... maybe must extract one then beautiful lah.........
ops..... not targetting at anyone..... no offence pls..... im saying myself lah.....
yo vela....... doing now sending mass email....
oh talk abt the buying the soiled panties... well @@ tao zi show at SCV... there this two ladies actually selling their soiled panties on net and earning abt S$5k per month leh....... one of the gal even sell her soiled tampon leh..... disgusting rite..... but if can earn good $$ why not..... kekeke....... oh they even have regular customers...... oh....... best part is that most of the customers are young man and look bery si wen one........ omg
anna, nope, the hsing we will still settle by ourselves. but as for furnitures, they will help out cos his dad got contacts.. also, the potrait hanging on the wall above the bed will be bought to indo to have it frame up.. cos it's nicer.. they will pay for the cost for this i suppose.
cookies gal, wah very informative. I didn't know the reasons behind these tradition, but as long as its not too much hassle, i will follow lor.
anna, i speak a bit of mandarin, last time in school lor but now really really bad since i dont use it at all anymore
blur, hehe.... thats the thing abt indo families, quite open and relaxed abt these things lor. both my parents and fh parents are coming up with the airtix and hotel rooms for relatives also, so me and fh would be paying for the banquet lor.
anna, i speak a bit of mandarin, last time in school lor but now really really bad since i dont use it at all anymore
blur, hehe.... thats the thing abt indo families, quite open and relaxed abt these things lor. both my parents and fh parents are coming up with the airtix and hotel rooms for relatives also, so me and fh would be paying for the banquet lor.
cookies_gal
New Member
Stupy,
I also dun like 916 gold, but my mum insists must be 916 coz she believes that only 916 gold has real value, white gold doesn't. Anyway I'm resigned to it. Think she will give me during the tea ceremony so I will put it on then (am planning to wear a kua so the gold is not so obiang) and take it off after the ceremony lor! kekeke... Anyway, I also have a gold necklace from my late grandma. She specifically bought it as a wedding gift for me before she passed away so even if I don't like these things, I will just keep them for sentimental reasons. (Unless of course there comes one day that I really need the money!!!)
I also dun like 916 gold, but my mum insists must be 916 coz she believes that only 916 gold has real value, white gold doesn't. Anyway I'm resigned to it. Think she will give me during the tea ceremony so I will put it on then (am planning to wear a kua so the gold is not so obiang) and take it off after the ceremony lor! kekeke... Anyway, I also have a gold necklace from my late grandma. She specifically bought it as a wedding gift for me before she passed away so even if I don't like these things, I will just keep them for sentimental reasons. (Unless of course there comes one day that I really need the money!!!)
cookies_gal
New Member
leeds, is your FH also an Indonesian?
leeds
like my indo. my indo really bad cos it deteriorate cos dun live there anymore...sum more everyone at home speaking hokkien.
my mandarin is bearable la cos fh speak mandarin..
cookies
so nice.. kua.. my dad specifically said pls dun wear such an ugly thing hor.. but is quite popular in singapore ya?
like my indo. my indo really bad cos it deteriorate cos dun live there anymore...sum more everyone at home speaking hokkien.
my mandarin is bearable la cos fh speak mandarin..
cookies
so nice.. kua.. my dad specifically said pls dun wear such an ugly thing hor.. but is quite popular in singapore ya?
