Husband and hp games

Jolee11

New Member
I am sad ..
We have been married for more than 15 yrs with 2 kids.

Problem 1:
Husband is working full time and I am a freelancer. My income was badly affected since the pandemic. Husband didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He plays with his hp most of times whenever wherever possible. Honestly, I will be happy if I could see him spending time on learning something and trying to bring in more money. Sigh !!

Problem 2:
Since we got married he never give me a single cent monthly allowance. I feel really sad because I just realize that all my girlfriends have been getting monthly allowance from their husbands regardless whether the wives are working or not. I feel I haven’t been appreciated as his wife all these years. How to ask him about it ? I am afraid he will be unhappy about it. I feel it’s really a very nice gesture for a husband to give monthly allowance to his wife and to feel responsible as the head of the family. Am I right ? Help ! Thank you all.
 


ing1

Active Member
Problem 1: has he been playing games recently or since you know him?

Problem 2: does he pay for family expenses? Or help to pay for family expenses? What is the allowance for?
 
Even if he gives $50, the wifey will also feel song song gao Jurong ;) .... women seek validation and feels validated in so many ways. Finding the love language that works with your spouse is the key. It is not the amount but what it symbolizes to her...
 
er not true every husband gives allowance to wife
Yeah but imagine the good it would do if you were to give $10 or $20 a week to her... she'll think - "woah .... my man wants to take care of me" ... or tell her frens that she receives an allowance from hubby.... she'll walk like floating on air ..
 

aveyron

New Member
Same as my husband. Addicted to the phone. Going through a rough patch now because I have asked and asked so many times but he just cannot be bothered. I am at the stage where I just tell myself to give up now since that's what he wanted - to leave him alone and stop nagging.
He also doesn't give me allowance but I have access to all his money. I told him giving angpow during cny is a nice gesture to show appreciation but he didn't believe in it. However, he will give his parents big fat angpows.
I tell myself maybe I should be more understanding, but I can't help but wonder if I'm just trying to find excuses for his heck care attitude.
 
Same as my husband. Addicted to the phone. Going through a rough patch now because I have asked and asked so many times but he just cannot be bothered. I am at the stage where I just tell myself to give up now since that's what he wanted - to leave him alone and stop nagging.
He also doesn't give me allowance but I have access to all his money. I told him giving angpow during cny is a nice gesture to show appreciation but he didn't believe in it. However, he will give his parents big fat angpows.
I tell myself maybe I should be more understanding, but I can't help but wonder if I'm just trying to find excuses for his heck care attitude.
Since you have access to his money, why not use it to bao bigger ang baos for other relatives?
 

OldDude

New Member
1) I think most guys do enjoy playing HP games these days and majority games are free-to-play. As long as they are not over-playing, over-spending $ on gaming, obsessed, addicted or ignoring real life activities, I think should be ok.

But, if your trying to be his good mama boy, lecturing what is the best for him... rather I think is best for you to discuss with him about your stresses and problems.

2) I think (again) most husband will somehow earn $ and contribute (small or big sum, direct or indirect) their part for their family. It's part of our culture life. $ is always the root of problems for everything. Handle them with care and love.

However, I do encountered few AA type and it won't last long.

3) About this pandemic thingy, will let this timing destroy your life?
Stay strong and fight. Even if you don't want to do anything, doing nothing is the best. Praying this pandemic will end soon.
 

newproject

Active Member
lol $10 or 20 a week. might as well don't give.

most couples both working, husband's don't give allowance lah unless one really earn a ton more.

They may split finances etc but give allowance really funny. A lot of independent working woman will feel offended.
Yeah but imagine the good it would do if you were to give $10 or $20 a week to her... she'll think - "woah .... my man wants to take care of me" ... or tell her frens that she receives an allowance from hubby.... she'll walk like floating on air ..
 

newproject

Active Member
He also doesn't give me allowance but I have access to all his money. I told him giving angpow during cny is a nice gesture to show appreciation but he didn't believe in it. However, he will give his parents big fat angpows. .

Sigh I think you really weird. If you have access to all his money is basically your money as well so why need to give you allowance or ang pow.

if me I also see no logic in that is like left hand take from pocket give right hand put back to pocket.

And why harp on he give "big fat" ang pow to his parents . They raised him what's wrong cny give them? Don't tell me you don't give your parents ang pow?

And remember his parents unlike you don't have access to all his money ...

Honestly I see really nothing serious here, he trust you enough to give you full access to his finances thats way better than give allowance but you prefer to have showy game of giving you any pow etc.

At worst he not attentive cos he to into games, very normal. At least he never stray or what.
 

newproject

Active Member
I am sad ..
We have been married for more than 15 yrs with 2 kids.

Problem 1:
Husband is working full time and I am a freelancer. My income was badly affected since the pandemic. Husband didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He plays with his hp most of times whenever wherever possible. Honestly, I will be happy if I could see him spending time on learning something and trying to bring in more money. Sigh !!

Problem 2:
Since we got married he never give me a single cent monthly allowance. I feel really sad because I just realize that all my girlfriends have been getting monthly allowance from their husbands regardless whether the wives are working or not. I feel I haven’t been appreciated as his wife all these years. How to ask him about it ? I am afraid he will be unhappy about it. I feel it’s really a very nice gesture for a husband to give monthly allowance to his wife and to feel responsible as the head of the family. Am I right ? Help ! Thank you all.

I am sad ..
We have been married for more than 15 yrs with 2 kids.

Problem 1:
Husband is working full time and I am a freelancer. My income was badly affected since the pandemic. Husband didn’t seem to be bothered by it. He plays with his hp most of times whenever wherever possible. Honestly, I will be happy if I could see him spending time on learning something and trying to bring in more money. Sigh !! .

Question how critical is it that your free Lance work is affected in terms of affecting your combined finances. My guess is given he is quite relaxed your contribution probably isn't that big right and can still survive yes?

Still I guess he is not emotionally sensitive should assure you... But typical guy



Problem 2:
Since we got married he never give me a single cent monthly allowance. I feel really sad because I just realize that all my girlfriends have been getting monthly allowance from their husbands regardless whether the wives are working or not. I feel I haven’t been appreciated as his wife all these years. How to ask him about it ? I am afraid he will be unhappy about it. I feel it’s really a very nice gesture for a husband to give monthly allowance to his wife and to feel responsible as the head of the family. Am I right ? Help ! Thank you all.

I suspect this is BS. Your gfs might be saying things just to boast.

Most working couples if salary more or less the same won't give allowance. Sure the guy will contribute to his share of expenses, maybe even more a bit but that isn't an allowance!

Honestly today's world we talking gender equality, if wife accept an allowance (and I don't mean sharing of household expenses) it means the lady admits she is not an equal partner.

But sure if you want can ask.
 
lol $10 or 20 a week. might as well don't give.

most couples both working, husband's don't give allowance lah unless one really earn a ton more.

They may split finances etc but give allowance really funny. A lot of independent working woman will feel offended.
I think you've missed the point I was trying to make - it is not the amount but the "act" that makes her feel cherished. It may not be an allowance but an act that validates your spouse or speaks to her "love language"
 

newproject

Active Member
oh sure. no different from helping with kids, taking up slack with chores when you know the wife is particularly busy at work.

I think those are more meaningful acts of services than creating a $10 monthly transfer but that's just me.

but I guess some woman are really insecure about money ??
I think you've missed the point I was trying to make - it is not the amount but the "act" that makes her feel cherished. It may not be an allowance but an act that validates your spouse or speaks to her "love language"
 
oh sure. no different from helping with kids, taking up slack with chores when you know the wife is particularly busy at work.

I think those are more meaningful acts of services than creating a $10 monthly transfer but that's just me.

but I guess some woman are really insecure about money ??
Yes, if those acts are the love language of your spouse including gestures such as giving her your undivided attention during mealtimes or not playing HP games when she's trying to have a serious conversation
 

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