Singaporebrides | Relationships

October 2024

9 Core Values You and Your Partner Should Agree on Before Marriage

By Audrie Soh

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Before taking the plunge, it is essential for you and your partner to agree on these core values.

While love may be the initial spark that brought you and your partner together, it is the alignment of your core values that will keep you together and strengthen your bond over time. From communication styles and financial philosophies to family planning and personal growth, the values that you hold dear significantly influence your compatibility and overall happiness.

To ensure that your union with your partner is a long-lasting and healthy one, you should explore and agree on these nine core values before you say “I do”.

1. Trust and Honesty

Trust and honesty is essential because they form the core foundation upon which a strong and healthy relationship is built on. Trust and honesty provides both you and your partner a safe and supportive space to be open and truthful without fear of judgement to communicate with the goal of achieving a resolution that will allow your relationship to progress and continue.

As a core value in your marriage, it is important for you and your partner to have a mutual understanding of how you are going to maintain trust in your relationship.

2. Communication

Open, honest, and respectful communication is the cornerstone of any relationship. It is key to setting expectations, sharing goals and making decisions as a couple. For your relationship to be lasting, both you and your partner should agree on the importance of being transparent with one another, expressing your needs respectfully and actively listening to each other with a common goal of resolving conflict and coming to an agreement.

3. Financial Values

Money can be a source of tension if not handled well, so couples should discuss and agree on financial values before marriage to circumvent future conflicts over this topic. You and your partner should discuss your spending habits, saving strategies, debt management and how you plan to handle finances as a married couple, and iron out any disagreements before you say “I do”. When your financial values align, harmony will reign in your marriage as you work towards a common goal.

4. Boundaries and Respect

Boundaries and respect are core values in a marriage because they create a healthy and balanced relationship, so couples should mutually agree on respecting personal boundaries, allowing space for personal growth, hobbies, and friendships outside of the marriage. With proper boundaries and respect in place, a relationship built on mutual understanding and emotional safety is born, strengthening the bond between you and your partner.

5. Commitment and Loyalty

Since marriage is a lifelong commitment, both partners should share the same degree of commitment and loyalty to the relationship in order for the marriage to work. Discuss with your partner what commitment and loyalty means to you and your relationship before you say “I do” to make sure that both of you are on the same page and share the same idea of devotion and faithfulness for your marriage to flourish and withstand the test of time.

6. Shared Goals

Having shared goals is a core value in a marriage because it creates a sense of unity and purpose, allowing couples to work together toward a common vision for their lives. Whether it is career ambitions, lifestyle preferences, financial objectives or family planning, it is important for you and your partner to align on where you both want to go in life to ensuring that you are moving forward as a team.

7. Intimacy and Affection

Physical and emotional intimacy is vital in marriage. Both you and your partner should be on the same page about how you express love and affection, and what your needs are in terms of physical closeness and emotional connection. It’s okay if you don’t share the same love language; what’s important is that you understand and acknowledge each other’s love language, and practice it to show intimacy and affection to keep the spark alive and make each other feel loved and appreciated.

8. Religion

Religion is a core value in a marriage because it shapes the beliefs, practices, and moral framework that influence how you and your partner navigate your relationship and life together. So, it is vital for both of you to agree on how these beliefs will influence your marriage, family life and raising children, especially if you have different religions. When both you and your partner share the same religious beliefs, or when you have mutual respect for each other’s spiritual paths, it can create a strong foundation of shared values and a unified vision for your future.

9. Forgiveness

No matter how strong a marriage is, conflicts, misunderstandings, and mistakes are inevitable, and forgiveness is required for couples to move past these moments and move forward in their marriage. How you and your partner forgive and give forgiveness is key to the survival and growth of your marriage, as it fosters open communication and vulnerability, and allows you to heal from hurt and overcome challenges together.

Credits: Feature image from Cherie and Issac’s Sunkissed Shoot at Lower Peirce Reservoir and Sum Yi Tai by Andri Tei Photography

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