Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
September 2024
The Art of Politely Responding To Unsolicited Wedding Advice
Decline any unneeded advice without causing any friction. It can be done.
As you embark on the thrilling journey of planning your wedding, it quickly becomes apparent that nearly everyone—from your inner circle to the most distant of acquaintances—has a piece of advice to offer. It’s as if an invisible memo has gone out, inviting everyone to weigh in on the details of your big day. While these suggestions often come from a place of love and excitement, they can quickly become overwhelming, leaving you feeling like you’re juggling more opinions than actual wedding plans.
The art of gracefully handling this well-meaning barrage lies in the delicate balance of appreciation and assertiveness. Start by acknowledging the advice with a warm thank you, showing that you value their input and care. From there, gently yet firmly steer the conversation toward your and your partner’s vision for the day. The good news? You can gracefully navigate these suggestions without ruffling any feathers. Here’s how to politely decline unsolicited wedding advice while keeping your sanity intact.
Yeonhee and Pei Qian’s Elegant Destination Wedding at Andaz Singapore by John15 PhotographyThe Well-Meaning Relative: “In Our Family, We Always…”
Every family has its traditions, and while these can be beautiful and meaningful, they might not align with your vision. It’s important to acknowledge the sentiment behind the suggestion while still maintaining your own preferences.
How to Respond:
“Thank you so much for sharing that tradition with me. It’s lovely to learn more about our family history. We’re planning something a bit different that reflects both of our personalities, but I’ll definitely keep that in mind for another celebration.”
By expressing gratitude and showing interest in the tradition, you acknowledge the suggestion without committing to it. This approach lets the relative know that you value their input, even if it’s not something you’ll be incorporating into your big day.
The Overenthusiastic Friend: “You Have to Have a DIY Photo Booth!”
Friends often want to help make your day special by sharing ideas they’ve seen at other weddings or on Pinterest. While some suggestions might be fabulous, others might not suit your style or budget.
How to Respond:
“That sounds like such a fun idea! We’ve already got a few things planned, but I’ll definitely consider it if we have room for more activities.”
This response is both positive and non-committal, allowing you to politely sidestep the suggestion while making your friend feel appreciated for their enthusiasm.
Nadine and Owen’s Quirky Vintage Pre-Wedding Shoot at Golden Mile Tower by Fleurandcraft FilmThe Pinterest-Obsessed Colleague: “You Should Totally Do a Rustic Barn Theme!”
Your colleagues might be eager to offer advice based on the latest trends, even if they don’t exactly match your vision. While it’s tempting to just nod and smile, it’s better to set clear, polite boundaries.
How to Respond:
“I love how creative you are! We’ve already settled on a theme that really resonates with us, but it’s great to hear about other options.”
This approach acknowledges the suggestion and highlights that your decisions are made, all while keeping the conversation light and friendly.
The Well-Intentioned Parent: “You Need to Invite Cousin So-and-So”
Parents often have strong opinions about the guest list, especially when it comes to inviting distant relatives or family friends. Balancing their expectations with your desire for an intimate guest list can be tricky.
How to Respond:
“I understand why it’s important to include everyone, but we’re keeping the wedding small to make it more personal. I’m sure they’ll understand, and we can celebrate with them in a different way after the wedding.”
This response shows that you respect your parents’ wishes but are committed to the decisions you and your partner have made. It also opens up the possibility of involving extended family in other celebrations, like a post-wedding party.
Pei Wen and Rayson’s Vintage Hong Kong-style Pre-Wedding Shoot in FRIENDS cafe and Geylang by Iki CompanyThe Old-School Neighbour: “You Really Should Wear Your Mother’s Dress”
Sentimental suggestions can be the hardest to navigate, especially when they involve heirlooms or family keepsakes. While these offers come from a place of love, they might not always fit with your vision.
How to Respond:
“That’s such a thoughtful idea! I’m going to wear something that feels like me, but I’d love to incorporate my mother’s dress in some way, maybe as a keepsake or a part of my bouquet.”
This answer is a tactful way to honour the sentiment without compromising on your own style. It also opens the door to creative ways to include meaningful items without wearing them.
The Social Media Maven: “You Have to Go Viral with a Choreographed First Dance!”
In the age of social media, there’s pressure to create moments that will dazzle on Instagram or TikTok. While some couples embrace the idea, others prefer a more traditional approach.
How to Respond:
“That sounds like so much fun! We’re planning something a bit more low-key for our first dance, but I’m sure it will be special in its own way.”
This response keeps things upbeat while subtly signalling that you’re not looking to turn your wedding into a viral sensation.
Paige and Wilson’s Quirky and Intimate Solemnisation at the Night Safari Singapore by Leslie PhotographyThe Experienced Wedding Veteran: “When I Got Married, We Did It This Way…”
People who have planned their own weddings often feel compelled to share what worked for them, assuming it will be equally perfect for you. While their experience is valuable, it’s important to gently assert your independence.
How to Respond:
“It’s so helpful to hear about your experience! We’re doing things a bit differently, but I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind as we finalise our plans.”
This shows appreciation for their wisdom while making it clear that you’re taking your own path.
When to Stand Firm
While it’s important to be polite and gracious, there are times when you need to stand firm, especially if the suggestion is something you’re absolutely against or if it crosses personal boundaries.
How to Respond:
“I really appreciate your input, but we’ve made a decision that feels right for us. I hope you can understand and support our choice.”
This direct but kind response sets a clear boundary without inviting further discussion, ensuring that your wishes are respected.
The Takeaway
The key to declining unsolicited wedding suggestions is to strike a balance between grace and assertiveness. Remember, your wedding day is about you and your partner, and while others’ opinions may come from a place of love, you are not obligated to incorporate every idea.
By using these strategies, you can navigate the flood of advice and ensure your wedding day remains a reflection of your unique love story. After all, the most important thing is that your wedding feels true to you—whether that means embracing a few traditional touches or boldly stepping into new territory.
So, the next time you’re faced with an avalanche of wedding advice, take a deep breath, smile, and remember: it’s your day, and you have every right to craft it in a way that makes your heart sing.
Credits: Feature image from Lalu and Chris’s Bright and Colourful Sapa-Inspired Backyard Wedding by Alvelyn Alko
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