Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
May 2021
10 Common Best Man Duties You’ll Need To Know To Ace The Job
Being a best man is more than just planning an unforgettable bachelor party for your buddy.
Planning a wedding is no easy feat, which is why the happy couple needs a right hand man (or woman) by their side to help them get through one of the most exciting and stressful times of their lives.
Like the bride’s maid of honour, the groom’s best man is the go-to person when he, the groomsmen or anyone else, for that matter, needs help during the wedding planning and on the wedding day itself. Now, if you’ve just agreed to be your friend’s best man thinking that all that entails is to plan him a bachelor party he won’t forget or stand by his side at the solemnisation ceremony, then you couldn’t be more wrong.
But, not to worry. With a little help from us, you’ll learn what you’ll be expected to shoulder as a best man, and how you can become the best man every groom wants to have by his side. Here are 10 common best man duties you’ll need to know to ace the job.
1. Be the Groom’s Right-Hand Man and Confidante
Li Syn and Abel’s Floral-Filled Wedding at The Fullerton Hotel by Andri Tei Photography
The first and foremost duty of a best man is to help the groom in all matters related to the wedding planning and his wedding day. That means, you’ll have to be his right-hand man and make sure that he gets the help he needs to make his big day a happy one. As his right-hand man, you’re responsible for taking over some tasks to lessen his burden, and that may include picking the bridal car or bridal bouquet up, and managing the rest of the groomsmen.
Wedding planning can get really stressful and frustrating, especially if last minute changes need to made or the groom and bride cannot see eye to eye, and the groom may need someone he trusts to be his listening ear. It’s also your job to be the reassuring best friend and man that every groom needs, and lend a listening ear to his frustrations or stress, without any judgement or bias.
2. Lead the groomsmen
Linette and Joshua’s Autumn-Inspired Bohemian Wedding at Hotel Fort Canning by Androidsinboots
One of a best man’s many duties is to lead and manage the rest of the groomsmen on behalf of the groom. If you all do not know each other, then it is your job to break the ice and introduce yourself and the rest to each other. Gather the boys and get to know each other better over dinner or some drinks to get rid of any awkwardness and help you work together more harmoniously.
You’re also tasked with the responsibility to make sure that the groomsmen have their outfits ready and that they are informed of their respective duties and responsibilities, and carry them out timely. It is also on you to ensure that they turn up for any meetings that require their presence, and keep them on schedule. Essentially, it is your job to make sure that they do their part and job.
3. Help the groom with picking out outfits
Sheena and Vivegan’s Stellar at 1-Altitude Wedding with Bold Florals by Thomas Tan Photography
As his best man, the groom will look to you for advice on a myriad of matters regarding his wedding, and his wedding outfit will be one of the things he might come to you for advice or recommendation. Send him some recommendations for men’s tailors or retail brands if he is looking to customise or buy his wedding suit, or go shopping together so you can share your opinions and advice with him on the spot, to help him better decide on his (or even, the groomsmen’s attire) for his big day.
You might also need to help the groom pick out complementary accessories for the groomsmen’s, such as cufflinks, ties, belts and even socks.
4. Plan the Bachelor Party
Hailey and Clifford’s Exquisite Wedding at The White Rabbit by Germaine from Bridelope Productions
It is the best man’s duty to lead the groomsmen and plan an unforgettable bachelor party for the groom to celebrate his last days as a single, unmarried man. Before you start gathering the boys and ask them for ideas, you should ask the groom if he prefers a wild night out or something quieter. Once you know what kind of celebration the groom is looking for, you can start brainstorming for party ideas with the rest.
Try to pick an activity that everyone can enjoy and afford, instead of going for that grand idea that will break the bank. While the groom may appreciate your generous gesture, he will not want his groomsmen to spend more than they can or are willing to. Once you have made a decision, put the plan in action and delegate tasks to each of the groomsmen so everyone can play a part in putting together a celebration for the groom. You should also check in regularly with them to make sure that they have done their share on time.
5. Ensure that the day runs smoothly
Calista and Christopher’s Big and Gorgeous Wedding at Raffles Hotel Jakarta by Illuminen
As the best man, it is part of your job to make sure that the day runs smoothly so the newlyweds don’t have to worry about a single thing and focus on enjoying their big day to the fullest. Together with the maid of honour and the rest of the groomsmen and bridesmaids, you’ll be responsible for making sure the guests are comfortable and welcomed. If they need help getting to their seats or finding the way to the bathroom, you or any one of the bridal party will have to be the one they can turn to for help.
If the hired emcee doesn’t show up on time, or if the newlyweds are running a little late for their entrance, you might be needed to step in and host the guests to fill in the gap and to give the couple ample time to get ready and make their appearance.
You will also need to assume the role of a problem solver on behalf of the bride and groom, and find a resolution for any hiccup minor enough to be resolved without involving the couple.
6. Create a groomsmen emergency kit
Ashlee and David’s Stunning All Villas Ululate Wedding in Bali by Axioo
Accidents do happen and while you cannot predict what or when it’ll happen, you can always prepare for it. Inform the groomsmen to bring along an extra set of clothes or shirt in the event that the one that they’re wearing gets dirty.
You can also put together a groomsmen emergency kit comprising of some extra socks, ties or cufflinks, in case any of them forgets to bring along or need extras. You may also want to include some easy-to-eat snacks into the kit to keep you, the rest of the groomsmen and the groom fed while you boys go about the day’s activities.
7. Keep personal items on behalf of the groom
Samantha and Jarred’s “Love You To The Moon and Back” Minimony at Open Farm Community by Justrealle Photography
Since the best man will be by the groom’s side constantly during the wedding day, he should be the one to hold on to the groom’s personal effects such as his mobile phone and wedding rings, so that the groom can go about the day’s activities freely and still access these items when he wants to.
The best man should also be the person to keep the newlywed’s marriage certificate safe after the solemnisation ceremony is over and all the photo-taking has ended.
8. Giving a best man speech
Amanda and Jon’s Beautiful Wedding at The Clifford Pier by Munkeat Studios
The best man’s speech is an age-old wedding tradition that originated in the West, and now commonly practiced in most weddings in Singapore. You’ll be expected to give one as well, unless the groom has explicitly mentioned that it is not necessary for one.
Since the best man is usually someone close to the groom, such as a sibling, family member or long-time friend, your speech will give the guests a glimpse of what the groom was like during his growing-up years or school days, and if the bride is also a friend of yours, what they were like during their courtship, and how they’ve grown as individuals and as a couple.
Hence, it is best for you to prepare your speech ahead of time so that you have spend some time to think about what you’ll want to include into your speech. Keep your speech honest and straight from the heart, short and sweet with some anecdotes that will make the guests break into laughter, but refrain from bringing up overly embarrassing incidents or mentions of ex-girlfriends. Lastly, don’t forget to include your well-wishes for the newlyweds and their marriage life ahead.
9. Make sure the groom doesn’t get too drunk
Jacqueline and Joey’s Heartfelt Wedding at Novotel Singapore on Stevens by Natalie Wong Photography
One very important best man duty is making sure the groom doesn’t get wasted on his big day. The infectious joy in the air is bound to inspire plenty of merry toasts and while tanking a few at the start of the celebration is okay, the groom is going to be drunk before the end of the night if he continues drinking right through dinner.
Keep a watchful eye over him and make sure that he doesn’t drink more than he can handle. If you notice that he is taking on too many toasts from his happy guests, then offer politely to drink some for him so he doesn’t get too drunk. You should also make sure that he gets something to eat so that he doesn’t drink on an empty stomach, which is a sure-fire recipe for getting drunk fast and furious.
10. Tie up loose ends after the night ends
Cindy and Stan’s Stunning Wedding at Changi Cove Hotel’s Command House by Ivan Seah Photography
At the end of the night, the groom will probably be busy sending his guests off or getting one last round of drinks in with friends, so it is your duty to make sure that any outstanding payments are given to the vendors, if there are any to be made, or settle billing issues with the venue. Or, if the groom has intentions of gifting a red packet to his vendors to thank them for their time, you’re the person to make sure that these get to the vendors on behalf of the groom and bride.
Since the newlyweds would be busy with their guests, it is also on you to make sure that nothing important or no gifts of red packets are left behind at the venue at the end of the night. Make sure everything belonging to the couple has been taken by either you or the rest of the bridal party to the couple’s bridal suite for safe-keeping.
You might also need to help the groom and bride return their wedding attire that they’ve rented for their big day, so do check with the groom if he needs help with this, and kindly offer to return them the next day on his behalf if he does require help to do so.
Feature Image from Leann and Kar Wai’s Destination Wedding in a Melbourne Vineyard by Rick Liston.
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