Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

November 2020

Your Friendly Guide To Writing Handwritten Wedding Vows With Confidence

Planning to write your own wedding vows? Then, we’ve got some handy tips for you.

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to inject a personal touch that’s unique to your celebration and offers your family and friends an insight on why you fell in love with your partner. However, it can be rather daunting to put all your emotions, love, dreams, hopes and promises into words and read them out aloud in front of an audience. And if you are not especially good with words, just the thought of penning your own wedding vows might be enough to send you into a panic.

If the thought of writing your own wedding vows is making you feel intimidated, we’re here to reassure you that you don’t have to be! It may seem like an overwhelming task at first, but once you’ve had a little help getting started, you’ll see that it’s actually pretty easy. To help you get started, we’ve put together five nifty steps on how you can write your own wedding vows.

First, choose five words that mean the most to you in your relationship

Elaine and Gabriel’s Gorgeous Pre-Wedding Adventure in Sumba by Darren and Jade Photography

Before you begin writing your vows, take some time to think about the five words that means the most to you in your relationship. These words can be trust, family, faith, support, forgiving, friend, honest, fun, or any other words that you feel defines what you have with your partner. Once you’ve identified the five words, write them down on a piece of paper and set it aside. You’ll come back to these later.

Next, it’s time to start penning your thoughts down

Jane and Rob’s Intimate COVID-19 Wedding at The White Rabbit by Hong Ray Photography

Get started by settling down at a comfortable spot with a pen and paper or your laptop, whichever your preference is (a smart tablet works too!), with a cup of your favourite tea or coffee. Then, once you’re comfortable (it’s best that you are, as the writing process may take some time), think about these questions about your relationship and partner:

  • How I felt when we first met
  • When I knew he/she was The One
  • What I see in our future
  • Where I’m willing to go for him/her
  • Why I am making these promises to him/her
  • At this point, you don’t have to worry if you’re sounding coherent or simply rambling on aimlessly. In fact, if you find yourself rambling on, it’s a good sign! The right answers to these questions should come easily and quickly to you without much thinking, so don’t worry about whether they are grammatically correct or not. The editing will come later, so just note down whatever comes to mind first.

    Then, follow this simple template to write your vows

    Wei Ying and Alan’s Personalised and Unique Wedding at Parkroyal on Beach Road by Joshua Tan from The Beautiful Moment Photography

    It’s time to get writing! Now that you’ve gotten your thoughts onto paper, it’s time to piece them together into a coherent passage that you’ll be reciting in front of your fiancé, family and friends. Start on your first draft by following this simple template:

  • Begin at the start of your relationship up until now – share a little on how you met and what you felt, what you love about him/her, when you knew it was going to be forever, and so on
  • Share a personal story of the two of you but try to keep it short, and don’t be afraid to inject a little humour. Don’t be afraid to talk about the lows in your relationship as well – that keeps your vows real and raw, since there are highs and lows in every relationship
  • Wrap it up with what you envision for your future together as a family and pledge your commitment to the marriage with your promises to your partner.

  • Once you have your first draft, it’s time to edit and finalise your vows

    Calista and Christopher’s Beautiful Wedding at Tirtha Uluwatu Bali by Iluminen

    Now that you have your first draft completed, the editing starts! Before you start trimming your vows and checking if your sentences are coherent and grammatically correct, refer to the five words that you’ve written in step 1. Does the content of your vows reflect or include the essence of these five words?

    Once the content of your vows are aligned with the values of the five words you’ve written down in step 1, you can proceed to trim and edit them. Read your vows out aloud and time yourself; ideally, your vows should last two minutes or less. You may need to go through a few rounds of edits and take more than a few days to do this, but that’s perfectly okay and normal.

    Last but not least, add the finishing touches to your handwritten vows

    Xue Qi and Chun Wai’s Ethereal and Romantic Vow Renewal Styled Shoot at Buangkok Crescent Field by Present on Pixels

    By now, you would have read your vows more than once, silently or aloud, and have gotten familiar with the words. If you haven’t, then this is the time to do so! Read your vows with intention and emotion, and know where you might tear up (it’s completely okay to do so!).

    If you skipped a few words while reciting your vows, or added some, don’t be flustered; just carry on with the rest of the vows and no one will be the wiser. Everyone will be tuning in to the intent and emotions behind your vows, not what you had carefully crafted to say.

    Lastly, do take the time and effort to spruce up your vows by writing them out by hand on a pretty piece of paper, instead of reading it off your smartphones. Your photographer will be capturing that precious moment, so do remember to make your handwritten vows look and sound good. You can also hire a calligrapher to design a vow book with your vows in beautiful letters that’ll serve as the perfect wedding keepsake for you and your partner.


    To further help you with your journey of writing your own wedding vows, we’ve got five extra tips you’ll do well to remember when writing your vows.

    Samantha and Jarred’s “Love You To The Moon and Back” Minimony at Open Farm Community by Justrealle Photography

    1. Start early!

    Don’t wait until the last minute to write your vows! Writing your vows will take some time, so do start early – at least three weeks before your wedding, so you don’t have to rush through the process.

    2. Make sure to say “I love you” in your vows

    This may seem like a no-brainer, but you have no idea how often these three words are left out of handwritten vows! So, do make an effort to remember to include them in yours.

    3. Keep the number of drafts to less than five

    It’s easy to get carried away with writing as many drafts in your bid to perfect your vows, but our advice is to keep it to less than five – preferably three drafts. Your vows are already perfect the way it is.

    4. Don’t worry about being cheesy

    If there ever was a time to be cheesy, it is during your wedding. So, don’t worry about being corny or cheesy in your vows. As long as they are heartfelt and sincere,

    5. Make your vows a gift

    To make your handwritten vows even more special, keep them from your other half until your solemnisation. It will make it more impactful and emotional for him or her to hear your vows for the first time during your ceremony. That way, it’ll not only be a precious keepsake of your wedding day, it’ll also be your wedding gift to them.

    Feature image from Valerie and Leon’s Sunkissed Bali Wedding Photoshoot by Knotties Frame

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