Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

March 2016

5 Wedding Questions Every Bride Wants To Ask But Are Afraid To

A wedding is a new experience filled with many unknowns and some brides may find it hard to voice out their uncertainties. Find your answers in these five essential wedding questions every bride wants to ask but are afraid to.

I don’t know about you, but when I was a bride-to-be a year ago, I had many questions about the finer details of a wedding, such as whether a hair and makeup stylist was necessary when I knew how to do my own makeup or if save-the-date cards were mandatory, despite being in the industry myself. I wasn’t sure if I was the only one with those questions or if it would sound silly when I voiced them out, so most of the time I kept them to myself and learnt as I went along.

But after a chat with some of my friends who were also planning their weddings, I realised that the concerns I had were more common than I thought. So, to help other brides-to-be who have the same questions as we did but are afraid of asking, here is some help.

1. How do I use the bathroom in my ballgown?

Andre and Bibi's Romantic Rooftop Wedding in Taiwan 520 Library 9André and Bibi’s Romantic Rooftop Wedding in Taiwan by 520 Library

Sure, that multi-layered tulle ballgown you’ve been lusting for at the bridal boutique might have been the best thing that happened to you since your proposal. But when you’re in need of a bathroom break in the middle of your wedding celebrations or pre-wedding photoshoot, that big dress doesn’t seem that good of an idea after all. Before you give up the idea of getting married in your dream ballgown or a dress with a laced-up corset back or a long row of buttons, listen to our solutions to your dilemma and pick up some tips for your wedding day.

The ultimate solution to the problem is, of course, to use the bathroom before you change into your gown. But on a day where you’ll be overwhelmed with anxieties, it is understandable if you forget that you should make a trip to the toilet before you dress. So if you didn’t visit the bathroom before you change (like I did), or if you have the tendency to use the toilet more often, there are ways to use the bathroom without taking your entire dress off.

The first and most common way involves another pair of hands, likely those of your maid of honour or your groom. Using the inner lining of your skirt – that would be the thin white piece of fabric located right at the bottom of the other layers and closest to your legs – gently scoop the rest of the layers of skirt into it and lift upwards, making sure the upper layers are contained within the lining. Then, instruct your maid of honour or groom to grab on to the edges of the lining and lift upwards, leaving your hands free to conduct your business. This works for most A-line dresses and ballgowns, but if your skirt is really heavy, you might need to help support the lump of skirt as you use the toilet.

But, if you want to spare your maid of honour or groom from going into the bathroom with you, there is another option, and it involves a black trash bag. Cut a small opening that’s slightly smaller than your waist at the bottom of the bag and step through it. Slowly pull it upwards, gathering your skirt into the bag as you do it. Gently shimmy the bag up to your waist to avoid ripping the bag too much. Once all your skirt has been gathered in the bag, hold the slack at the top of with one hand and ta-da! You’re now free to use the toilet by yourself.

2. Do I Need a Professional Hair and Make Up Artist?

Hort Park Wedding SingaporeLinh and Yong Xi’s Lavender-filled Hort Park Wedding by Smittenpixels Photography

While it is very okay to do your own hair and make up if you think you are skilful enough, hiring a professional to do it for you on your wedding day will give you time to relax before the crazy begins. Most hair and make up packages come with a trial session for the actual day. Let your hair and make up stylist know your preference during your trial session with them. Show them images of hair and make up styles that you like to help them understand what you’re looking for.

Don’t be afraid to sport a less than common look for your wedding, if that’s what makes you comfortable. If you don’t wish to grow your hair out for your big day, then don’t. There are plenty of wedding appropriate styles for short hair. Or, if you have a long bob, your stylist can put it into an up-do like I did for my wedding. Similarly, if a dark brown or black smoky eye look is not quite your thing, even if that’s what every bride does for her evening make up, don’t be afraid to request for something more neutral or sweet.

Try not to remove your make up or undo your hair immediately after your trial session to see how it holds up in the heat and humidity. The longevity of your make up and hair style, especially if you’ve opted for curls, depends on your skin type, hair quality and the humidity in the air. So, take note how quickly your face turns oily and your hair to uncurl after your trial session and feedback to your stylist so that she can make any necessary changes or reinforcements on your actual day.

Since you are paying for her services, don’t be afraid to voice out any requests you have, such as drawing your brows or curling your eyelashes a certain way, or for her to use your own make up products instead of hers. Most stylists should have no problems using your make up products, but do bring them along to your trial session if you intend to use them.

3. Are Save-the-Date cards necessary?

save-the-date; singapore weddingVivian and Josh’s Parisian Garden Wedding at Grand Hyatt Singapore by Bloc Memoire Photography

There is no right or wrong to this question. Whether you should or should not send out save-the-date cards is entirely up to you. If you are on a tight budget, there is no need to break the bank for one just because everyone else is doing it. Most couples spread news of their wedding by word-of-mouth through their parents and relatives and follow up with a formal invitation about two to three months before the wedding. For the younger guests who are more social media savvy, couples can create Facebook event pages where guests can RSVP and be reminded of the wedding in place of the traditional save-the-date card.

4. Do I have to eat salads and spend every day at the gym to lose weight and tone up for the wedding?

lose weight healthily Image by Amelia Crook, licensed under CC BY 2.0

Losing weight and toning up for her wedding is on every bride-to-be’s to-do list regardless of whether she really needs it or not. While eating salads for every meal and spending every free moment at the gym might help you lose weight and tone up for the wedding, I wouldn’t recommend you do so. Depriving yourself of food you desire and overworking yourself at the gym an extended period of time may result in a burnout, and you may then go on a binge and undo all your hard work.

The key is to start small by making little changes to your diet over time. Cut out sugary food and drinks that contribute empty calories and include healthier food such as whole grains and food that actually helps weight loss. Replace sweet drinks with plain water to increase your daily water intake and cut down calories. If you want a little flavour to your water, you can add slices of lemon, orange or a fruit of your choice in your water for a hint of taste, or you may replace 1-2 cups of water with green tea instead.

Then, establish a workout routine if you don’t already have one. Join a gym or work out at home to fitness videos if you prefer, and practice them according to your pace and stamina. Slowly build up the intensity as you get stronger. If you already work out regularly, try changing up your routine to challenge your body or include short bursts of low intensity exercises you can do at the gym or at home to up the intensity of your routine.

If you’re too busy to make a trip to the gym, try these 20-minutes workout routines or spot-target areas you need to work out instead to save time. Study your wedding gown silhouette carefully and note the areas where you’ll like to improve. For instance, if you have a fitted gown that bares your shoulders, you might want to focus on exercises that tones\ up your arms and back. Or, if your gown bares your legs, you might want to work on strengthening them instead. Don’t worry too much about doing as many crunches and reverse crunches as you can if you don’t have time or the inclination for it. Investing in a good shapewear is a cheatsheet to getting tucked waistlines and tummies.

While there is nothing wrong in wanting to look your best on such a momentous occasion as your wedding (and that includes eating salad if that’s your thing), there is no need to sacrifice your health or your sanity to do so. Instead, go at it healthily.

5. Is it acceptable to get wasted on my wedding day?

Rustic Garden Wedding Penang 116A Rustic-Retro Garden Destination Wedding by TY Lim & Kitoki from Mocco Photography

The question is not whether it is okay for you to get wasted on your wedding day, but whether you want to spend the most memorable day in front of your and your partner’s relatives and friends dead drunk. Yes, it is your big day and you’re over the moon and there’s a free flow of alcohol available. We get it. But that doesn’t mean you have to become so inebriated that you don’t remember what happened at your wedding the next morning or are unable to thank your guests for coming at the end of the day.

If you don’t usually drink at all, your wedding is not the day you want to start. Politely refuse any invitations to down a glass of wine or beer or have your bridesmaids or groomsmen drink on your behalf (that’s one of their duties!). If you enjoy the occasional drink, don’t over-do it and chug down every glass in your hand either. Coupled with the fatigue and the little food you’ve had the entire day, your alcohol tolerance might be lower than usual. Also try not to mix different types of alcohol together either – doing so will only send you down the road of insobriety even faster than you can say “cheers!”.

Enjoy the booze and your big day at the same time by checking yourself after every glass. If you start to feel a little woozy or light-headed, rein in on the alcoholic drinks and opt for a glass of water instead. Reach for another glass of beer or wine when you feel a little less woozy.

Credits: Feature image from To Love and To Cherish by Multifolds Photography.