Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

January 2012

I Will Survive This Wedding!

Still on cloud nine after the romantic proposal your man gave you and can’t wait to start planning your big day? We bet you have a list of unrealistic expectations up your sleeves, fuelled by the excitement of your upcoming nuptials and egged on by Disney and Hollywood movies. Well, SingaporeBrides is right here to bring you back to earth, re-adjust your expectations on wedding planning and prep you on how to steer clear of Bridezilla-ville.

When it comes to wedding planning, even the most docile of brides will turn into an emotional and raging mess – you know this because you’ve either heard stories of brides in feet-stomping fits or you’ve witnessed your best friend transform into the Kraken. Now, you’re embarking on your big day and you’re adamant not to turn into one. But there’s still that nagging worry at the back of your mind.

Set your worries aside; the bridezilla syndrome is not a biological phenomenon – it is wedding planning induced and it can be avoided. SingaporeBrides tells you what’s to be expected in the process of planning and lets you in on some pointers to keep your calm and sanity.

First Things First

Losing control of your emotions while planning a wedding is part and parcel of the whole process. It’s a time of great stress and anxiety – anyone would’ve caved in to that. So don’t feel too guilty when you find your usually calm and serene self snapping at your florist for getting your floral arrangements wrong.

What matters is how you deal with it. Create outlets to vent them healthily; excuse yourself from the situation if you need to and return when you’re in a calmer frame of mind. Invent a “happy place” in your mind and head there when you’re at boiling point. Alternatively, you can take up yoga or kickboxing classes – an outlet to vent and tone up for your big day, what’s not to love about that?

Secondly, your wedding day is not about the people around you and what they want; it’s about you and what you want. Be certain about which aspect of your wedding is important to you, and be firm in standing your ground against over-enthusiastic relatives and friends who want a say in that area. Avoid offending them by making it clear that while these areas are not open for discussion, their input will be taken into consideration.

Image from Sarah and Jonathan’s Ethereal Ceremony in the Tirtha Uluwatu Chapel by Androidsinboots

But neither do you have to hog all the tasks for yourself. Allow your close friends and family to be part of your big day by delegating some of the not-so-important tasks to them. This way, you’ll avoid offending them altogether and save yourself some stress.

Lastly, live and let go. Know that while you may have planned your wedding from the smallest to the most important detail, there is still a possibility of something going wrong somewhere. Rather than scowling when your chauffeur has taken a longer route to the hotel, focus on the bigger picture: you’d still get to the wedding venue on time. That way, you’ll be able to enjoy your wedding day better without stressing over the little details.

Perfect is so Yesterday

Ditch the habit of using “perfect” to describe your wedding. What exactly do you mean when you say you want your wedding to be “perfect”? As vague as it gets, the word really describes nothing.

And before you fold your arms defensively and go “What do you mean I can’t describe my wedding as ‘perfect’?”, we only mean well. Aiming for a perfect wedding not only loads unnecessary pressure on you, but it also acts as a spark for a rage fest when something doesn’t adhere to your version of “perfect”.

Instead, learn to describe your wedding with precise and achievable words such as “romantic”, “fun” or “vintage”. Articulating your wants as accurately as possible ensures that your wedding is do-able, and your vendors will better understand what you want. Problem solved (or averted); wasn’t that easy?

The Nitty-Gritty Details

Wedding planning requires quite a bit of organisation and meticulousness, but if you are not the most organised or meticulous individual, don’t fret. Draw on your partner’s strength in organisation if he is better in that area. You don’t have to do all of the planning yourself; you can divide the tasks between both of you, drawing on your individual strengths and weaknesses. Leave important papers and contracts to him and handle the decorations yourself if you have an eye for colour and designs. That being said, both parties are still entitled to their inputs in all matters.

Alternatively, you can get a large binder, easily found at any stationery shop, and keep everything related to your wedding planning inside. Remember to get divider tabs as well so you can label each tab according to the things that needs to be done, like “The Dress”, “Bridesmaids”, “Guest List”, etcetera. This is known as your wedding binder; this ensures you stay organised and not get overwhelmed by details.

Image from Hui Yi and John’s Casual Pre-Wedding Shoot on Coney Island by Androidsinboots

It is recommended that you start planning at least a year ahead of the actual wedding. Of course, there are couples who spend less than a year to coordinate the entire affair, but it depends on how big, how meticulous you are and how much help you have. Besides, it’s always better to have more time than you need to cater to unforeseen delays, than to be pressed for time.

Before you decide on the details of your wedding, we recommend brides to sit down with their partners and decide on a budget for the wedding first. Learning how to manage of your finances properly can make or break your wedding. You don’t want to find yourself short of budget for catering or going into debt because you want a Vera Wang gown at all costs. Here’s a piece of advice you should recite like a mantra during the planning: always work within your budget and never go into debt just to pay for your wedding.

Decide on the date and location, how big your wedding will be and who you’d want in your brothers and sisters’ escort. It is advisable for first-time brides to research on the various boutiques, photographers and caterers from the SingaporeBrides directory before deciding on one. Once you’ve made a decision, book your vendors and arrange for dress fittings. Finalise your guest list and menu, and you’re good to go once the invites are out.

Put the Fun in the Planning

Contrary to popular beliefs, all that raging drama can be avoided and wedding planning can actually be, well, fun. Go for food tasting at the hotel or your caterer’s and imagine you’re on a luxurious date – enjoy the day savouring different kinds of champagne, cakes and food with your other half.

Source for local bands to play at your wedding by going club or bar hopping together. Relive your dating days by picking a week to head out together to listen to the different local bands. Once you’ve selected a few, you can even pick a place and have them audition for you.

Image from Michelle and Sean’s Romantic Floral Wedding at Amara Sanctuary Resort Sentosa by Annabel Law Productions

Having fun and some “together-time” amidst your wedding planning will aid in relieving any tension or stress built up during the planning process. Set “no wedding talk” zones and go out for dinner or movies dates every week, or do whatever you two do to bring you back to you. Refrain from flaring up when one of you flouts the rule; instead, seize the opportunity to inject some humour in the situation by implementing fun “punishments” for the offender.

Professional Help

If all else fails, hire a wedding planner – you can’t go wrong with that. With a wedding planner around, you’d have someone to share the load of planning and handle things on your behalf. Besides, you’ll have a peace of mind knowing someone experienced is around to handle any problems so you can focus on enjoying your big day rather than worrying about this and that.

If this is still too much to absorb in your state of excitement, bring away with you these few pointers: know what you want, be organised, work within your budget and remember to have fun.

There is much more to marriage than your wedding day; there is no need to burn any bridges or break important bonds. Most importantly, keep your eye on the bigger picture and enjoy your wedding day fully.

Featured image: Janice and Glenn’s Stunning Pre-Wedding Shoot in Cappadocia, Turkey by Kursat Acar

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