Singaporebrides | Weddings 101

September 2011

Are You A Bridezilla?

Mr. Right has proposed (with a five-carat ring, no less). Your parents are so happy they still can’t sleep at night. You’re incredibly excited, but also all stressed up by the long list of wedding must-dos. Do you find yourself crumbling under the pressure or morphing into a perfectionist freak? Either way, SingaporeBrides is here to show you how to cope.

We’ve all heard of the word “Bridezilla”. A portmanteau of the words “bride” and “Godzilla”, the term refers to a difficult, unpleasant and controlling bride-to-be who wants everything to be picture-perfect for her Big Day. In her quest for a dream wedding, she has no qualms about aggravating her family, groom-to-be, friends and wedding vendors with unreasonable requests.

Case in point: When reality television star Kim Kardashian got engaged to NBA sensation Kris Humphries, her take-charge family basically bulldozed their way through all the wedding decisions. Word has it that the groom’s family wasn’t over-the-top with all those over-the-top arrangements (read: three couture gowns, 50,000 flowers and $15 million worth of diamonds!). Even Kris’s friends were reportedly “annoyed and pissed”, preferring not to get involved with ushering duties.

The thing is, even typically sweet girls can morph into bridezillas as the wedding day draws nearer. Take Joanne*, 30, who admits that she almost lost control of herself in the months leading up to her Big Day.

“I had a certain vision of how I want my wedding to be,” the marketing manager says. “It started with little things, like insisting that all of my bridesmaids dress identically and wear their hair the same way. Then I made all the major decisions without caring about my fiance’s opinions. It took a huge pre-wedding fight to made me realise that I was being inconsiderate to him and many of my friends.”

Luckily, Joanne managed to salvage the situation by changing her tone (no more barking of orders!), her expectations (an eight-tier cream cake is not necessary) and her attitude (a wedding doesn’t have to be perfect!). If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re the blushing bride-to-be or the Bridezilla from hell, do this quick quiz.

The “Are You A Bridezilla?” Quiz

1. When your wedding planner asks if she can make small decisions – like when to call everyone for rehearsals – without consulting you, you

  • Agree wholeheartedly. “That’s why I hired a wedding planner right?”
  • Say: “Sure. Just keep me updated at regular intervals on the progress, and let me give the go-ahead for major decisions.”
  • Scream: “NO WAY!”

2. Your gal pal gently asks if she can be your bridesmaid on your Big Day. She wants to be there for you through the preparations. You say:

  • “Oh, Sarah, that’s so sweet. You’re in!”
  • “Sarah, I’m so touched you offered. I’m organising my list and will let you know soon. But I’m sure I’ll love having you around.”
  • “I’ll slot you in if you lose some weight first.”

3. When deciding on the menu for your wedding banquet, you

  • Let the wedding planner, restaurant manager or caterer decide. After all, you have no special requirements. So why create a fuss?
  • Discuss with your groom-to-be about the kind of dishes that will suit your guests, taking care to cater for old folks, young children and those with special dietary requirements, like vegetarians.
  • Insist on a 50-table wedding feast with all the impressive dishes and top-notch wines (at least 20 bottles). Then, you demand for personalised wedding favours to be included in the package.

4. What are you most concerned about during the wedding preparations?

  • Making sure that everything is minimal fuss for the people involved. They should be here to party!
  • Juggling real life – work, family and friends – with your wedding must-dos the best you can.
  • That everything – and you really mean everything – is perfect.

5. The wedding is just three months away. But everything is going wrong. One of your bridesmaids wants to drop out of the bridal party. The gown designer just can’t get the lace train right. Your parents want Grand Aunt Jo’s grandkids invited as well. What do you do?

  • You’re not overly worried. Instead, you decide to go with the flow. You let the bridesmaid drop out, cut off the train and invite the whole village.
  • You feel stressed but decide to confide in your groom-to-be and your best friend. Then you delegate duties to ease your load – your fiancé will handle your parents while your best friend will talk to the problematic bridesmaid.
  • You break down in tears, whine to a very frightened groom-to-be and scream at everyone around you for intentionally spoiling your Big Day. Then, you head to your room and slam the door shut.

Now for the results…

Mostly As:

You’re the LAIDBACK BRIDE. You’re the uber-accommodating bride-to-be who will consider how everyone feels, take note of your bridal party’s individual schedules and leave all the work to your wedding planner. That’s totally okay, but you run the risk of losing control of important matters.

Do these:

You’re doing a lot of things right. But remember to have an opinion or you will find yourself being swept up by good-meaning advice from everyone else. So be the one to make major decisions, like the wedding guest list.

Mostly Bs:

Congratulations! You’re the BLUSHING BRIDE. In other words, you’re the perfect bride-to-be everyone loves. You understand that a wedding is not the be-all and end-all of your life. That’s why you carefully delegate duties to wedding vendors, bridal party and friends while you take time off to recharge at times. But most importantly, you know how to appreciate everyone around you – with kind words, an open mind and plenty of thank-you presents!

o these:

We honestly can’t think of anything you can do – better!

Mostly Cs:

We’re actually afraid to inform you that you are a BRIDESZILLA. You are the bride-to-be everyone is scared of. Your wedding vendors, bridal party, relatives and friends are whispering about your crazy, controlling behaviour behind your back. Oh, and have you noticed that your groom-to-be is looking at you in fear, not in love?

o these:

To save your relationships with your loved ones, you must RELAX. Do not give in to fear and crushing standards of expectations. Understand that everyone is doing their best to make your Big Day really special, so take a big step back and cut them some slack. Remember to show your appreciation to all your wedding vendors and bridal party as well. Now how about handwritten thank-you cards for everyone?

*Not her real name.