What can i do to make her loves me?

[good_hubby]

hi all...i'm new here....i'm feeling quite troubled...so, i decided to write here to get some advice...or at least to let something off my chest...

i fall deeply in love with a girl about 2 years+ back....i tried many ways to woo her....i bought her expensive gifts...which cost few thousands each...i shower her with love and care...i'm always there whenever she needs me...

whenever she was unhappy or heartbroken because of her bfs, i will be there to console her and cheered her up...i did everything just for her...just to make her happy...

finally, after about 1/2 year+ of courtship, she agreed to be my gf....we've been together for about 1 year+ now.....i proposed to her last year...she agreed and we planned to get married this year.....

unfortunately, until now....i'm not sure whether she really loves me or not....she had been hurted many times by other guys...i know and she truthfully told me that she agreed to marry me because i can give her the sense of security and stability...

i'm older than her more than 10 years..... she thinks that i'm matured, able to provide for her financially and emotionally....

i really love her alot alot...i did everything just for her....i'm not that rich...but so far, i've spent quite a big amount on her...i felt that...and i think she agrees to marry me because she has gave up love....she just want to find someone good and reliable to settle down....plus she's not that young anymore too....

throughout the years, i always gave in to her....her temper is very bad....she would just yell at me or angry with me for no reasons...her mood swing is unpredictable...she always scold me old, fat, ugly and stupid........most of the time, i will just keep quiet and let her scold....after she cools off, she will be ok again......i listen to whatever she says and give her whatever she wants....i'm the giving party and she's the taking party....people might say i'm spoiling her....people might say she is taking advantage of me....but she's still a gem to me...

she tried leaving me several times before and i've tried letting her go before....but i really needs her badly....and i'll always turn back to her...

we've bought a house together and our marriage preparation already done about 70%....but i felt so sad that i unable to bring true happiness to her...

i've always hope she will develop feelings for me slowly and will love me as how i love her....but unfortunately, she still unable to do so.....i don't blame her as i know she tries to love me and felt very frustrated for treating me like this.....maybe she just unable to accept me as who i am....

i'm fine with how bad she treats me....as long as she is happy, i'll be happy....

i really want her to be happy....i've done whatever i could but still failed...

i really don't know what to do....

what else can i do?

i'm angry with myself that i'm not handsome...

 

[thommy]

angry with urself? whatever for?

if she really loves u, no matter how ugly u are it wldn't be an issue to her.

have some dignity before u lose it pls, her verbal abuse of u is downright degrading. no matter how bad-tempered she may be, calling u all those shows how much u actually mean to her.

wake up...u are what u are..dun let her treat u as her personal atm

 

[clipperjunk]

the truth is that you're just spoiling her...you're like her dad, sugar daddy to be precise...

 

[mewmoon]

Well, you already know what she's like before marriage. I'll advise you to reconsider the whole thing seriously before you walk down the aisle.

Do you seriously want to live with a woman you're not even sure is in love with you?

Can you live with someone who doesn't even have the basic respect to refrain from name-calling? The fact that you don't respond to her taunts will only encourage her to say even meaner things or do worse things coz she will think you are "easily bullied".

Do you honestly want to live that kind of torturous life?

All I see is YOU making her happy but what of HER part to make you happy? A marriage is not about making ONE person happy you know. It's two hands, two people.

 

[onegoal]

Hello good hubby(what nick is this)?

You sound like the following
1)hen peck
2)loser
3)ku niang
4) many more.........

If i am the girl, i also ask u to go and f#$K spider.

Go and search, google, or read up those successful man with many wife. How they do it.

Ans: They have deep pocket and smart brain.(they are not good looking)

you dont have.........

 

[chilliinketchup]

This is dramatic.

Her bad personality is probably why her many bfs left her. Seriously, what is that gem u see in her?

Is it because u know u are not young anymore, time is not on your side, and if u give her up, u may not even find another girl? Hence, the unwillingness to let go and stubbornness to hold on to it?

She's probably taking u as a temporary buoyant.

Both of u may not be ready. Why bother to endure, get married, only to explode one day, and find yourself signing another document?

 

[the_giving_tree]

You must have a very low self-worth to stick to a woman like that. After marriage, u can bet she will dump you at the slightest opportunity. The signs are all there, are you sure you want to go ahead with the marriage? If there are kids involved, it will be even more complicated by then. Your kids are likely to grow up with behavioural/emotional issues.

Perhaps you should start loving yourself more. A healthy marriage starts with both parties having a healthy image of themselves.

 

[von0910]

I strongly agreed with what they say. Currently i also ended my 6 yrs marriage, feel very sad & lost but i knw time wil heal our wound. So be strong & move on.

 

[lovingyou]

Hmm... what are the underlying issues between her and her exs? Not saying that you should probe into her past but one's past always forms and shapes the present her.

A marriage is between 2 persons, 2 families etc. There is no such thing as individual or alone happiness in a "joint life" together... 1 yr plus and you are already facing with so much verbal abuses, are u sure u can take it in times to come by? Then again, u are unsure of her love towards you and yet u want to step onto the aisle with her? Hmm... how old are u and her btw?

 

[powder]

dude good_hubby,

u have a messiah complex. pple like u normally end up with the lousy wives... i have seen alot of super lousy women with the very good hubbies... u are one such person.

truth be told, u lack experience and exposure... and what's sad is that guys like u - dun really experience true love til the day u die. your concept of love is warped and will never see truth. it's sad, very sad... but this is just the way it is. so u can more or less resign yourself to fate.

if u wanna experience Life, Truth, Beauty, Exictement, Joys, Happiness... get a divorce or go out and meet more girls. doesn't matter if u're married now... i'd rather u meet pple than dun meet at all.

good luck in your life!

 

[triquetra]

You sound like you need a healthy dose of self-esteem.

Without self-esteem, you'll be a loser and sucker your whole life.

Like powder said, go out and meet more people and find more hobbies, maybe one day you will see the light.

 

[moistfaucet]

Good Hubby,

The world is always in balance

i believe that women must be very pretty so you give in. so you must love her DEEPLY right ?

anyway, you are not responsible for anything, not even for her. i know that it is very hard for you to see anything beyond her.

but you are the man, show to her you are in control over everything, including her soul. if she yell you, YELL BACK ! if she play harder ball, you play the hardest one.

there is only one reason for your to give in that much even you degraded yourself in this forum. just simply because she is very curvy and desirable ?

in order for other to love you, you have to love yourself first if not there is no reason for others to love you.

be cool good hubby, the man like you is hard to come by that giving so much for others. you are really amazing. i am impressed.

 

[cys]

U have done your best. That's it. The rest is up to your gf oredy. U oredy said she agreed to be with u for stability, how come u still want to get her love you leh ? Just live with what she said lo. If she don't feel like loving you, extra things you do will not change that.

Rather than doing meaningless things to get her love you, get yourself some hobbies, 'Me' time, upgrade yourself, focus on career kindda thing.

 

[autumntime]

If you're unhappy now, what makes you think that you'll be happier after the wedding? If she treats you badly now, what makes you think that she'll treat you better after the wedding? If she cannot respect you while you're her boyfriend and husband-to-be, what makes you think that she'll respect you when you're her husband?

Whatever problems you encounter now (before marriage), they'll be magnified many times after marriage. Yes, you may be good husband material (in your opinion), this may not be what she wants. If looks are very important to her now, it'll likely continue to be so to her after marriage. You seem like a nice man eager to love and please your woman but please have second thoughts about the marriage. You don't want to end up with a wife who's constantly feeling resentful towards her husband's physical appearance - you will be more miserable than you are now. You deserve someone who will love you for who you are. Be courageous and start believing that you are worthy of reciprocal love!

 

[joiedevivre]

good_hubby,

U need to find urself a good wife. Why don't u have a talk with ur fiance n find out what is bothering her? Why is she always so unhappy with u?

The wedding is being planned, but it is never too late to stop urself from making a mistake. Discuss with her and tell her u can hold back the wedding if she is not sure about u.

Couples quarrel now and then, but if u feel that she always puts u down, it's time to stop to reflect.

Girls can marry a guy out of gratitude or like u said, she has given up on other men. But I'm sure u wan a wife who loves u, right?

There are many girls out there who will be nicer to u than ur fiance. Talk to her nicely. If she feels no love for u, ask her if she wants to postpone the wedding or take a break from the rs.

U may be fat, ugly, stupid to her, but a gem to another woman. Give urself a chance to find someone who loves u.

 

[tomasulu]

the irony is, the more you give in to her and grovel before her, the less attractive you are in her eyes. read what you wrote again and imagine it was written by someone else. how can any sane chick like, much less love, the person who wrote that garbage and live it down? where is your manliness, your drive, your good judgment, your sense of humor, etc. that would make you attractive to potential mates? trust me, your physically appearance is just a convenient clutch you gave yourself.

 

[felshan]

From what i read, it's definitly a one sided relationship which wont last. Marriage will not mean bonding in your case. I'm sure all of us can foresee where your marriage will lead if you continue. Wake up!!!

Like you said, she can scold you fat, old, ugly and stupid means that she doesnt treasure u at all. She's taking it for granted coz of all your showers. Money wont buy love. You are now buying your happiness and throwing your money into the drain.

Another thing is that she's young, ten years younger than you. She will one day "xian" you and have affairs with younger guys. Do you want tt?

Let go of her. Free yourself too. You will realise that you wont be so troubled anymore after you are willing to let go. Find a better wife...she's still waiting for you to find her on some part of the world.

 

[laurencey]

My wife has been a cheat. We have been married for 22 years. In the last few years we have been having problems because i never knew she was cheating on me till a friend of mine saw her with the guy in a hotel. She has been rude to me and everything about her has changed all because of a guy whom i dont know. Just early this year she was calling for a divorce accusing me of assault. Then she called and told them I beat her with a belt. Thank God I met this spell lady ''priestess Ifaa" who a friend introduced to me. It was so pain that my family is tearing apart. I would even go to jail but this spell lady consulted the spirits and told me that the guy place a spell on her for her to distroy me and marry him. This hurt me so much and i asked the spell lady to make the spell reverse. I did everything to make sure the spell was done and on few days later the spell started manifesting because we were back together and we were happy just like the day we got married the reverse spell this spell lady did made the guy go far and never come close because he is a demon. She could not work or support herself that's why she was acting that way. This spell lady is great, she has rescued my family. i met the spell lady though her email ID
[email protected]. meet her and get your solved.

 

[scopefun]

I am the teacher of the spell lady, Laurence Heith.

 

[60secs]

My spell is even better, combined with my potion, it will make your wife very rich and very very horny and very very faithful to you too!
My charges is also very cheap, you can reach me at this email address : [email protected]

 

[60secs]

My advice to good_hubby : Tear yourself away from her.

Else you'll end up like the 3rd guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0q_oOF9jeTs

"I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare." Ecclesiastes 7:26