couragewong
New Member
Dear All,
Need some advice. I know this guy for more than 10years, since we both study in the same college.
We still keep in contact with each other, wherever we are, to maintain our friendship. The indecision that is killing me is that; I realised that i like him, 3years back. I still do... Since he graduated from college, he has been staying and now working in the states.
I know he liked me when we were in college. Even when he has a gf (after I didnt return his affection), he still care much about me, to be there for me when i needed help, to the point that his gf were jealous and hated me.
He knows that I liked him now because I told him about my feelings, when he was back in our hometown 2yrs ago. He didnt say anything and his reaction remains status quo. Its “killing†me, not knowing where I stand in his world. And I hate the way he is treating me, like I am his gf. Yes I enjoy the treatment as well even though its hurting me. I have waited for him (tried to go into a relationship but ends up, I still think about him and its unfair for the other guy), still do but somehow I feel tired of waiting now. He came back from the states to celebrate CNY this year, its great to see him but it hurts me when he knows I am still waiting and he still keeping mum. I wonder what he is waiting. Yes I know about distance. He’s in USA and I am 29hrs apart by plane from him. The one thing I know is that he did tell my friend that he fancies me but he don’t believe in long distance relationship. He used to have a long distance relationship but the girl cheated on him. For me, I was with my bf for 6 years until he decided to cheat on me too. I remember the day when I broke up with my ex, I told him over the net, the next thing I know, he called me and comfort me. I told him I want to get away and he offered to pay for everything for me to fly to USA. I didn’t go because I was too caught up in my heartache.
What happened during this CNY is that, he brings me home to see his family, even have family dinner with them, not once or twice but a lot of times until I lost count. Let’s put it this way, if they have family dinner, I will be there sitting next to him. We spent Valentine together, went for dinner, nothing special happened, just candle light dinner and wine, movie, but still, status quo.
I know he likes me, how do I know – 1) one of our friend been telling me the stuff he told him, that he wants to be with me however could it be just a false hope? 2) For him to bring a girl home to have dinner with his family, it means a very big deal for him and his parents. He’s a family kind of person (which is something I like in him because for me its about responsibilities) 3) During one of the dinner, his sis asked if I am going to USA for a holiday? I told her maybe and he said to her, “very soon she will be going there to stay and probably work thereâ€. My expression went like “Huhâ€, since when that was my plan? Is it a hint from him that he wants to bring me to USA to be with him soon? I know he’s gonna get a house soon - is that it? Could it be that he want to get a house first and then tell me he wan to be with me? 4) I am going to visit him in the states, this coming Nov to celebrate his and mine birthday.. After putting off my plans for so long, its time I’m gonna make it real. And like what he offered previously, he’s gonna cover my all expenses (shopping not included – darn!!), he even planned where he wants to me bring me for sight seeing when I get there. 8 months to go and he already planned..
The thing is : should I wait any longer more? I am applying for my Australian PR and my agent are helping me in the process part. It may take awhile for everything to be complete n get approval. I don’t want to leave and lose him, knowing that I actually have a chance with him but then I cant be waiting forever. If I still wait on, how much longer should the wait be? Plus, I am not getting any younger and I do want to have a relationship which will leads to marriage and have a family of my own. I do not wish to wait too late to conceive a baby. (i know letting go would eventually leads to me my mr right but i have tried, the relationship turns out to be bad. I hv 2 relationship that were "abusive" - not physical btw) He still calls me from the states and writes to me. So what do you think?
Need some advice. I know this guy for more than 10years, since we both study in the same college.
We still keep in contact with each other, wherever we are, to maintain our friendship. The indecision that is killing me is that; I realised that i like him, 3years back. I still do... Since he graduated from college, he has been staying and now working in the states.
I know he liked me when we were in college. Even when he has a gf (after I didnt return his affection), he still care much about me, to be there for me when i needed help, to the point that his gf were jealous and hated me.
He knows that I liked him now because I told him about my feelings, when he was back in our hometown 2yrs ago. He didnt say anything and his reaction remains status quo. Its “killing†me, not knowing where I stand in his world. And I hate the way he is treating me, like I am his gf. Yes I enjoy the treatment as well even though its hurting me. I have waited for him (tried to go into a relationship but ends up, I still think about him and its unfair for the other guy), still do but somehow I feel tired of waiting now. He came back from the states to celebrate CNY this year, its great to see him but it hurts me when he knows I am still waiting and he still keeping mum. I wonder what he is waiting. Yes I know about distance. He’s in USA and I am 29hrs apart by plane from him. The one thing I know is that he did tell my friend that he fancies me but he don’t believe in long distance relationship. He used to have a long distance relationship but the girl cheated on him. For me, I was with my bf for 6 years until he decided to cheat on me too. I remember the day when I broke up with my ex, I told him over the net, the next thing I know, he called me and comfort me. I told him I want to get away and he offered to pay for everything for me to fly to USA. I didn’t go because I was too caught up in my heartache.
What happened during this CNY is that, he brings me home to see his family, even have family dinner with them, not once or twice but a lot of times until I lost count. Let’s put it this way, if they have family dinner, I will be there sitting next to him. We spent Valentine together, went for dinner, nothing special happened, just candle light dinner and wine, movie, but still, status quo.
I know he likes me, how do I know – 1) one of our friend been telling me the stuff he told him, that he wants to be with me however could it be just a false hope? 2) For him to bring a girl home to have dinner with his family, it means a very big deal for him and his parents. He’s a family kind of person (which is something I like in him because for me its about responsibilities) 3) During one of the dinner, his sis asked if I am going to USA for a holiday? I told her maybe and he said to her, “very soon she will be going there to stay and probably work thereâ€. My expression went like “Huhâ€, since when that was my plan? Is it a hint from him that he wants to bring me to USA to be with him soon? I know he’s gonna get a house soon - is that it? Could it be that he want to get a house first and then tell me he wan to be with me? 4) I am going to visit him in the states, this coming Nov to celebrate his and mine birthday.. After putting off my plans for so long, its time I’m gonna make it real. And like what he offered previously, he’s gonna cover my all expenses (shopping not included – darn!!), he even planned where he wants to me bring me for sight seeing when I get there. 8 months to go and he already planned..
The thing is : should I wait any longer more? I am applying for my Australian PR and my agent are helping me in the process part. It may take awhile for everything to be complete n get approval. I don’t want to leave and lose him, knowing that I actually have a chance with him but then I cant be waiting forever. If I still wait on, how much longer should the wait be? Plus, I am not getting any younger and I do want to have a relationship which will leads to marriage and have a family of my own. I do not wish to wait too late to conceive a baby. (i know letting go would eventually leads to me my mr right but i have tried, the relationship turns out to be bad. I hv 2 relationship that were "abusive" - not physical btw) He still calls me from the states and writes to me. So what do you think?
