#Stuckinbetween
- Thread starter missyting
- Start date
newproject
Active Member
Lol "so do ?" Standards must have dropped a lot these days then. Besides i don't get why you need to proclaim you are a local uni grad. No one said other wise. Someone is insecure much?
If it's not a big deal why do you think I'm lying lol.
Actually it's more likely you are lying based on past threads where you seem to have problems with sentences like "you were schooled", though i guess its not impossible some,grads from NUS/NTU/SMU might be that poor in English.
Anyway it is clear you are super jealous ha l.
If it makes you better to think i lied or that you know what good girls want, feel free to be deluded.
Or be smarter and realise if your model of the world is making wrong predictions perhaps you dont know as much as you do and one or more of your assumptions
are wrong.
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newproject
Active Member
Are you jealous I have a good wife? Why? You already say you don't like people like my wife.so why do you care? Or you secretly want but can't find ha. And no I don't blindly "bash" woman only those that deserve it.
I call you a white knight because of the way you act.
You dont know anything at all.about us and you insist my wife is suffering or "taken advantage of". Why? Just because she doesn't act in the way you want.
So someone's nature to be kind giving and selfless offends you? Something must be wrong?
You must be the white knight who charges in to save a woman who never asked to be saved?
Guys like you make me sick , always seeing woman as someone you must save. Very unhealthy.
Anyway as usual you try to derail the,thread.
I won't answer further. Is just waste of time really since despite being a small boy with very little experience you think you qualified to give advice and argue with those of us whose experience with r/s is not purely theoretical.
Enchantedgal
New Member
Perhaps you could ask him for the reasons that he doesn't want to get married so soon? It might be due to financial issues or that he thinks that since your bto is coming in 2years time, then both of you could settle everything at once.
I totally understand how you feel because it's like one sided and the feeling really sucks. I feel that he shouldn't have said things like "it's what you want". If he really doesn't want it ,he should discuss his thinking with you first. Don't agree Liao then say "it's what you want what" etc.
I would also like to ask if you confirmed your wedding banquet date before your relative or was it the other way round?
I totally understand how you feel because it's like one sided and the feeling really sucks. I feel that he shouldn't have said things like "it's what you want". If he really doesn't want it ,he should discuss his thinking with you first. Don't agree Liao then say "it's what you want what" etc.
I would also like to ask if you confirmed your wedding banquet date before your relative or was it the other way round?
Staypositive
Active Member
Jealous of u? Nah.as I said I like ppl with a mind of their own.not agree to everything but doesn't mean must be unreasonable.at least I'm not like u,who enjoys labeling others and calling ppl names.
Neither do I hold on to traditional mindset that women must do this or do that in order to satisfy the criteria of being a good woman.
You may be happy with ur wife now but doesn't mean it will last forever.ppl change.marriage is a risk in itself.i have a classmate who is very happily married,with matching expectations but in the end still got divorced.so dun need to be arrogant about your present happiness.you never know what is going to happen.
newproject
Active Member
Let's not derail this thread further . You not trying to help me (not that i even asked for it), but attacking me because you felt humiliated in the past when i pointed out you didnt know what you were saying.
I don't even know why you are here giving advice when you have little to no experience in r/s and im not the only one that called you on that. but be my guest do whatever you want.
Staypositive
Active Member
Erm.its Not that ur advice is superb.only mediocre and egocentric at best.you are the only one who have no qualms about lashing at others, and still insists ur right.
newproject
Active Member
Finished derailing the thread?
littlepinkpointes
Active Member
TS, hope things are getting better....?
thats what i dont wish to see either. it shld b an happy occasion where both parties are happy and "willingly" to have it done
We had two dates in mind. We agreed to have it done in Dec. Chosen two dates just in case restaurant/hotel fully book or Clashs or etc so we still have alternative to fall back on.
When real situation happens, he disagree to choose the alternative option and said those hurting words
Slightly better? We din really discuss on the wedding topic after tt big fights....
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newproject
Active Member
Any updates?Slightly better? We din really discuss on the wedding topic after tt big fights....
Sent from my SM-N920I using Forum mobile app
I see you getting married Dec 3 2017?
yeah, managed to sort it all out
yeah, managed to sort it all out
I'm happy that it's sorted out for you
I'm in a similar situation.. bf sort out agreed on my timeline of marriage, which is by this year. We are shopping for resale flats now, he has gotten the e ring and our families have met. We are supposed to also look for wedding banquets now since we will be able to move in together by this year and we both want to stay together after marriage and it will be very difficult to get the hotel we want if we are too slow.
Thing is.. till now we haven't gotten any dates, talked about going to see hotel venues or proposed yet. He said his dad will go look for dates 3 months ago and he gotten the e ring 2 months ago (I know coz he told me he had it, we went to choose together so not a surprise on it)
I do not know if
1. he is just a very slow in action person (he is, we did the other things mentioned above partly because I mentioned them to him)
2. he is secretly not willing to settle down right now but compromised because of me (initially he wanted to wait 1 more year for him to work on his career)
3. Or maybe he sees everything as on track but here I am kanjeong
I'm happy that it's sorted out for you
I'm in a similar situation.. bf sort out agreed on my timeline of marriage, which is by this year. We are shopping for resale flats now, he has gotten the e ring and our families have met. We are supposed to also look for wedding banquets now since we will be able to move in together by this year and we both want to stay together after marriage and it will be very difficult to get the hotel we want if we are too slow.
Thing is.. till now we haven't gotten any dates, talked about going to see hotel venues or proposed yet. He said his dad will go look for dates 3 months ago and he gotten the e ring 2 months ago (I know coz he told me he had it, we went to choose together so not a surprise on it)
I do not know if
1. he is just a very slow in action person (he is, we did the other things mentioned above partly because I mentioned them to him)
2. he is secretly not willing to settle down right now but compromised because of me (initially he wanted to wait 1 more year for him to work on his career)
3. Or maybe he sees everything as on track but here I am kanjeong
Hi shanti__, did he express any resentment towards getting married this year, besides not reverting on wedding date? If he didn't, most likely you're over-thinking. As you may have read from most of the posts on this thread, male and female are wired differently and you cannot expect them to think or do things the same pace as you.
I'm also in a similar situation as you whereby my bf mentioned 6 months ago he will get his mom to pick a date for ROM (we are not doing banquet, just simple rom). 6 months later, no news though i did remind him several times on asking his mom for the date. Just last sat, while we had breakfast with his mom, i decide to be more pro-active instead of waiting for him to do it. I asked his mom myself and his mom happily agreed to check for an auspicious date for us. This goes the same for our upcoming bto renovation, I did 99% of the work (sourcing contractor/id, scheduling meetups, sourcing for ideas etc) though we furniture shop together. We often joked that the ganchiong person (me in this case) often takes the lead, and that is fine in a relationship. We are all made differently and we shouldn't complain on who does more and who doesn't do anything as long as you enjoy the process.
So... don't doubt yourself or your future husband, don't complain if u happen to have to take the lead in ur wedding planning, its ok if one person does more than the other, the most important is to enjoy this process together with him!
Giving a guys perspective here.
I think quite common for our partner to feel that we are not kancheong or into the wedding because of our reply. My wife has been piss with me quite a few times about this. Usually when it comes to wedding, we just want it straightforward with as minimal fuss and changes as possible which could be why your hubby to be is getting frustrated.
It is just like shopping us guys just see something we like price ok we buy liao. Example buy toilet paper: We go giant i already know what i want just go to the toilet paper section see the price ok i take and put in basket. For my wife she will take a longer time. Changing her selection a few times than decide. First time i honestly got fustrated but now used to it already haha. and this is for something as small as buying toilet paper.
Needless to say when it comes to something like wedding too we guys can appear abit bo chup. For us we have a agreement that planning is left to my wife (as she is definitely more detailed than i am) while i settle my suit's and actual day problems. You will notice your hubby is probably the busier one on your wedding day while the wife is the busier one before that (at least so far what i see for most wedding la).
I think quite common for our partner to feel that we are not kancheong or into the wedding because of our reply. My wife has been piss with me quite a few times about this. Usually when it comes to wedding, we just want it straightforward with as minimal fuss and changes as possible which could be why your hubby to be is getting frustrated.
It is just like shopping us guys just see something we like price ok we buy liao. Example buy toilet paper: We go giant i already know what i want just go to the toilet paper section see the price ok i take and put in basket. For my wife she will take a longer time. Changing her selection a few times than decide. First time i honestly got fustrated but now used to it already haha. and this is for something as small as buying toilet paper.
Needless to say when it comes to something like wedding too we guys can appear abit bo chup. For us we have a agreement that planning is left to my wife (as she is definitely more detailed than i am) while i settle my suit's and actual day problems. You will notice your hubby is probably the busier one on your wedding day while the wife is the busier one before that (at least so far what i see for most wedding la).
miloice
Well-Known Member
I'm happy that it's sorted out for you
I'm in a similar situation.. bf sort out agreed on my timeline of marriage, which is by this year. We are shopping for resale flats now, he has gotten the e ring and our families have met. We are supposed to also look for wedding banquets now since we will be able to move in together by this year and we both want to stay together after marriage and it will be very difficult to get the hotel we want if we are too slow.
Thing is.. till now we haven't gotten any dates, talked about going to see hotel venues or proposed yet. He said his dad will go look for dates 3 months ago and he gotten the e ring 2 months ago (I know coz he told me he had it, we went to choose together so not a surprise on it)
I do not know if
1. he is just a very slow in action person (he is, we did the other things mentioned above partly because I mentioned them to him)
2. he is secretly not willing to settle down right now but compromised because of me (initially he wanted to wait 1 more year for him to work on his career)
3. Or maybe he sees everything as on track but here I am kanjeong
I would suggest to give the benefit of the doubt and stop second guessing and thinking the worse of your bf and his father. Talk with him.