Should i trust him?

[Cyndyblue]

Me and my bf have been together for more than 4 yrs and all along we respected each other's privacy and gave space. We do not check each other's phone. But recently out of boredom I signed in to his facebook with a password that was the same for many online accounts. I saw that he was sending videos of animals to and fro with a lady, who i have never saw before in my entire life. I realised he started chatting with her 1 month plus ago. After finding out about this thing, it has been a very emotional ride for me. Since the start of our relationship, I have already made it clear i don't wish to have any secrets between us, and not once has he ever talked about this stranger before. I started to lose appetite and cannot sleep well. I also tend to lose temper out of nowhere. I became more and more paranoid. I started to login into his facebook more often to check on his chat with this woman. On facebook, they merely send videos to each other. Even when he is in the toilet at home and i'm in the bedroom he would send something to her. It makes me imagining about them chatting somewhere else maybe whatspp or in real life where i couldnt see. Today, after my bf is asleep, i managed to check the phone number of the woman (thru some way online, its complicated) and i saw that both their last seen time on whatsapp is exactly the same at 02:35!!! I thought he was already asleep at that time. I'm still boiling that i could not sleep. What should i do?

*Also, all i can see on the woman's fb page is few pictures of her in blonde hair, pink blonde hair and white hair. 1 week ago my husband suddenly brought up his desire of bleaching his hair.

Should i worry? I know i havent found concrete proof... i think i should expose it before it's too late.. we are starting to look around for a new house, and it was so blissful till now. I'm worried if i question him about this girl he will know what i stalked him and our relationship will be ruined.. pls advise.. thanks

 

[JohnNPG]

Me and my bf have been together for more than 4 yrs and all along we respected each other's privacy and gave space. We do not check each other's phone. But recently out of boredom I signed in to his facebook with a password that was the same for many online accounts. I saw that he was sending videos of animals to and fro with a lady, who i have never saw before in my entire life. I realised he started chatting with her 1 month plus ago. After finding out about this thing, it has been a very emotional ride for me. Since the start of our relationship, I have already made it clear i don't wish to have any secrets between us, and not once has he ever talked about this stranger before. I started to lose appetite and cannot sleep well. I also tend to lose temper out of nowhere. I became more and more paranoid. I started to login into his facebook more often to check on his chat with this woman. On facebook, they merely send videos to each other. Even when he is in the toilet at home and i'm in the bedroom he would send something to her. It makes me imagining about them chatting somewhere else maybe whatspp or in real life where i couldnt see. Today, after my bf is asleep, i managed to check the phone number of the woman (thru some way online, its complicated) and i saw that both their last seen time on whatsapp is exactly the same at 02:35!!! I thought he was already asleep at that time. I'm still boiling that i could not sleep. What should i do?

*Also, all i can see on the woman's fb page is few pictures of her in blonde hair, pink blonde hair and white hair. 1 week ago my husband suddenly brought up his desire of bleaching his hair.

Should i worry? I know i havent found concrete proof... i think i should expose it before it's too late.. we are starting to look around for a new house, and it was so blissful till now. I'm worried if i question him about this girl he will know what i stalked him and our relationship will be ruined.. pls advise.. thanks

Hi Cyndyblue,

It is really very sad to hear your story, Recently i had a similar experiences too and it almost jeopardized my relationship with my wife-to-be which we are getting married soon, There was this lady who tried to date me by first chatting with me on the Facebook, I was indeed shocked and She was also a blonde hair, What's worse was she is often found chatting around with guys especially attached or married guy, I think it is good to really take actions early before things get worse to no hope which is what my wife-to-be did, Perhaps you should really had a real good chat with your bf, A heart to heart chat could be good or maybe try to spend more time with your bf, For such a situation, Honestly is definitely a must and there should be necessary trust between you. I sincere hope everything will be fine and take care

 

[wluyan]

Trust your instinct.

 

[foolishguy]

Hi cyndyblue, at this point think about that you are going to open up a can of worms. Once you have this feeling of suspicion most of the time unfortunately it's quite accurate.

I used to trust my ex-wife of 5 years completely. I never locked or hid my phone or limit her outings with friends. Until a time came I became suspicious of her behavior and I managed to find out that she had been cheating on me for over a year.

It crushed me completely and I am still not recovered from it yet. Some told me it's better to know the truth but after knowing it...I never did feel better until now.

A long serious talk with your husband
is most likely the best course of action...good luck and take care

 

[Infernolord]

I used to trust my ex-wife of 5 years completely. I never locked or hid my phone or limit her outings with friends. Until a time came I became suspicious of her behavior and I managed to find out that she had been cheating on me for over a year.

It crushed me completely and I am still not recovered from it yet. Some told me it's better to know the truth but after knowing it...I never did feel better until now.

Been following this forum, see my buddy case when his wife demanded a grand and lavish marriage, big diamond ring. Quarrel day and night till my buddy gave in and marry her. Within a yr, cheat on him and leave him.
Foolishguy, Verysadguy. and myself are examples of girls who just enjoy moment of passion and do not know how impt marriage is. These days, as long as the values of a person is abit screwed, he/she will cheat one day.
Idealistic in rs is not realistic at all.

 

[Cyndyblue]

Hi Cyndyblue,

It is really very sad to hear your story, Recently i had a similar experiences too and it almost jeopardized my relationship with my wife-to-be which we are getting married soon, There was this lady who tried to date me by first chatting with me on the Facebook, I was indeed shocked and She was also a blonde hair, What's worse was she is often found chatting around with guys especially attached or married guy, I think it is good to really take actions early before things get worse to no hope which is what my wife-to-be did, Perhaps you should really had a real good chat with your bf, A heart to heart chat could be good or maybe try to spend more time with your bf, For such a situation, Honestly is definitely a must and there should be necessary trust between you. I sincere hope everything will be fine and take care

Hi john, thanks for sharing. May i know how your fiance found about your chat with this lady?
I agree honesty is a must, which is why i felt so angry and sense of betrayal when i found out about this behind his back. I have also told him before I hoped he could tell me about anything rather than me finding it out myself or through others. My boyfriend is someone who hates to be controlled, and has a bad temper. I just couldn't imagine what it would be like when he knows i probed into his account, he won't have trust in me anymore too and things might get unsavagable.

 

[Cyndyblue]

Hi cyndyblue, at this point think about that you are going to open up a can of worms. Once you have this feeling of suspicion most of the time unfortunately it's quite accurate.

I used to trust my ex-wife of 5 years completely. I never locked or hid my phone or limit her outings with friends. Until a time came I became suspicious of her behavior and I managed to find out that she had been cheating on me for over a year.

It crushed me completely and I am still not recovered from it yet. Some told me it's better to know the truth but after knowing it...I never did feel better until now.

A long serious talk with your husband
is most likely the best course of action...good luck and take care

Thanks for sharing, I'm sorry to hear about this. This is a bad mistake that your wife has made, and sorry to be honest but I would leave her if I was in your shoes. I couldn't imagine sleeping beside a person that has cheated and lied to me. If you are still together with your wife, i hope she learnt her mistake and would never do it again. Good luck and wishes to u too

 

[x3Fang]

Hi john, thanks for sharing. May i know how your fiance found about your chat with this lady?
I agree honesty is a must, which is why i felt so angry and sense of betrayal when i found out about this behind his back. I have also told him before I hoped he could tell me about anything rather than me finding it out myself or through others. My boyfriend is someone who hates to be controlled, and has a bad temper. I just couldn't imagine what it would be like when he knows i probed into his account, he won't have trust in me anymore too and things might get unsavagable.

Maybe u could use reverse psychology?
Lets say like u tell him there is this random stranger that you have been chatting with because both of u like animals so u guys are just exchanging animal videos and casual chit chats. Share with him that since there should not be secret between the both of u, so u decided to be frank to him about this stranger that u have been chatting. =x #justasuggestion

 

[JohnNPG]

Hi john, thanks for sharing. May i know how your fiance found about your chat with this lady?
I agree honesty is a must, which is why i felt so angry and sense of betrayal when i found out about this behind his back. I have also told him before I hoped he could tell me about anything rather than me finding it out myself or through others. My boyfriend is someone who hates to be controlled, and has a bad temper. I just couldn't imagine what it would be like when he knows i probed into his account, he won't have trust in me anymore too and things might get unsavagable.

Hi Cyndyblue,

Thanks for sharing, Well it was me who told my fiance about it as i just want to make it clear to her, You could say that i am honest and yes that's the key to everything, If a guy really love you then he wouldn't mind telling you everything unless he's trying hard to hide it, I strongly believed in trust between couple.

Stay positive friend, Believe in hope and have faith. Take care!!

 

[KopiO666]

Me and my bf have been together for more than 4 yrs and all along we respected each other's privacy and gave space. We do not check each other's phone. But recently out of boredom I signed in to his facebook with a password that was the same for many online accounts. I saw that he was sending videos of animals to and fro with a lady, who i have never saw before in my entire life. I realised he started chatting with her 1 month plus ago. After finding out about this thing, it has been a very emotional ride for me. Since the start of our relationship, I have already made it clear i don't wish to have any secrets between us, and not once has he ever talked about this stranger before. I started to lose appetite and cannot sleep well. I also tend to lose temper out of nowhere. I became more and more paranoid. I started to login into his facebook more often to check on his chat with this woman. On facebook, they merely send videos to each other. Even when he is in the toilet at home and i'm in the bedroom he would send something to her. It makes me imagining about them chatting somewhere else maybe whatspp or in real life where i couldnt see. Today, after my bf is asleep, i managed to check the phone number of the woman (thru some way online, its complicated) and i saw that both their last seen time on whatsapp is exactly the same at 02:35!!! I thought he was already asleep at that time. I'm still boiling that i could not sleep. What should i do?

*Also, all i can see on the woman's fb page is few pictures of her in blonde hair, pink blonde hair and white hair. 1 week ago my husband suddenly brought up his desire of bleaching his hair.

Should i worry? I know i havent found concrete proof... i think i should expose it before it's too late.. we are starting to look around for a new house, and it was so blissful till now. I'm worried if i question him about this girl he will know what i stalked him and our relationship will be ruined.. pls advise.. thanks

Babe, think about this. Do you still love him? If you do , give him another chance and make sure he really gains back your trust and work on building this relationship back. If you feel your feelings for him are literally dead then move on. Luckily you guys have not tie the bond yet. So its really up to you.