I am 33 years old this year and have been married for 7 years. My wife is 3 years older and is from another country. We have 4-year-old kid. We have serious trust and cultural-difference issues. Shortly after getting married and getting a flat 7 years ago, she put our money which is close to 6 digits Singapore dollars in her home country without first telling me. I trusted her, so I did not think much. After having kid, 4 years ago, she became more and more unreasonable. She quit her job, went back to her home country for 1 year and tried to drag me to follow her when, in fact, before getting married, she said that she would accompany me. She came back to Singapore 1 year later and refused to work stating that she did not like to be subordinate. She went back to her home country again after spending 1 year here during which, we quarreled frequently. She's very messy and dirty. She would put fruits and vegetables on the floor and, at times, thaw meat just by putting it on the kitchen floor. Two years ago, after much negotiation, I managed to persuade her to come back to Singapore and work, so we can afford to buy a home in her home country. I just feel that if she wants to relocate, at least, we must do proper planning. Unfortunately, after arriving, she became obsessed with opening her own business. She did poor planning and always shot down my advice. This resulted in our life saving reduced to half. Now, I have full-time job and her business still has not reached break-even point. Our finance is in deficit every month and, yet, last month, she told me that she was keen to take up another university degree in her home country, much to my extreme discomfort. One more thing is that we have no sex life for 2 to 3 years and we now sleep in different rooms. Regarding our money in her home country, she used it when she was there and every time I asked her how much is still there, she would become agitated. I feel that I've reached a point of no return and I am seriously considering divorce as I feel that she lives in her own world and her unreasonableness will possibly drag the whole family into disaster. In addition, in the past few months, I suddenly feel that she may have some hidden agenda. I just want a peaceful family with solid finance, but it seems almost impossible at the moment. I'm now consulting a counsellor, but I'd also like to hear any advice from the readers. Thanks so much and I'd deeply appreciate your help.
Should I divorce my unreasonable wife?
- Thread starter Mr. J
- Start date
Hi..Mr.J,
Sorry to hear about your marriage.
You are right to talk to a counsellor..you may want to talk to a lawyer too.
Is def not going to be a easy closure for you after reading from your post.
Be brave at what you have decided and seek your peace n happiness.. you owe it to yourself.
Sorry to hear about your marriage.
You are right to talk to a counsellor..you may want to talk to a lawyer too.
Is def not going to be a easy closure for you after reading from your post.
Be brave at what you have decided and seek your peace n happiness.. you owe it to yourself.
xxdaggerxx
New Member
Heres the hard truth lah. You are a push over, Mr Nice guy.
You have to learn how to control your woman, and put your foot down.
You have been letting things slide too much and now she controls everything. Now both of you resent each other.
You have to learn how to control your woman, and put your foot down.
You have been letting things slide too much and now she controls everything. Now both of you resent each other.
foolishguy
New Member
By coming to this forum and asking for advice..Im sure in your heart you already knew the answer.
The most important thing for you now is to minimize losses and have an exit plan. Best to talk to your lawyer regarding your assets and your kid arrangement.
33 yrs old is still not too late to start afresh..good luck!
The most important thing for you now is to minimize losses and have an exit plan. Best to talk to your lawyer regarding your assets and your kid arrangement.
33 yrs old is still not too late to start afresh..good luck!
Will78z
New Member
Too many red flags... I will bail out if i were you ..I had a foreign wife 10 yrs back too and her behavior is similar with your current wife..
Is all about the money and endless expectations.. I rushed for the exit after just a year ! Good luck and i believe you know what to do..
Is all about the money and endless expectations.. I rushed for the exit after just a year ! Good luck and i believe you know what to do..
Thanks everyone for your advice. I am acting tough on my wife now and I will see if this marriage still can be saved. I no longer entertain her silly ideas like relocation, getting another degree etc.. I just hope for the best. The spark is no longer there, but I am doing this for the sake of our kid.
maritalbliss
New Member
I've never been for "doing this for the sake of our kid".
Never.
Children can see through pretense. Wayang no more. Please.