hi all
sorry im new to this forum and have not completed the entire chain of postings.
the topic interests me as im facing with similar prob as kfanss, only worse as Im only married for barely 1 year
ever since just before our marriage, our sex life has been irregular and infrequent. recently, every time we have it, it seems as though it is out of responsibility.
my hb gives the following as reasons why he is not very interested in ML:
- stress with work and financial issues
- mismatch in timing as he sleeps very late
- DIY is much easier, faster, more convenient, and attains better orgaism
- i give him more stress by asking him for it or initiating it at the "wrong" time
I know for sure that he is normal physically as i caught him surfing porn and stuff. im at a loss as to what to do as i tried all possible methods: sexy lingeria, initiating sex, seafood and chocolate, sleeping later just to catch him at "right" time...blah blah. its affecting me to a great deal coz i guess i have relatively high drive and now married, i felt like "live widow" (pardon my languague). its embarrasing obviously because im a woman and supposed to be more conservative abt sex, but this is driving me nuts. also, obviously im concerned about the worse case scenario: him having an affair. though deep in me i know this is highly unlikely (i trust him on this), but it is not impossible as he travels quite often, the last time for a couple of months and our sex life really suffers BIG time. my fren says distance makes the heart fonder, and makes lust grow, so she expects him to pounce on me when he returns from trips, but NOOOOO! no pouncing or stripping me naked. in fact, no sex for 1-2 wks after he is back!
other factors that worry me are:
- my physical appearance: my hb likes small size gals generally but im quite big. in fact, im probably the biggest size women he ever had but of course he always assured me when we are married its not abt size but how we get along and how he treats me like family. while the whole world's been telling me how attractive i am (i wonder how true), but im always very conscious of myself. but nothing much i can do about my size coz its hereditary thou im trying hard to lose that flab around my middle
- my skills: i really wonder if im a loser in ML that makes him so uninterested. i tot i am not able to catch his "g-spot", but im not sure. one thing im sure is i dun have this prob in my previous relationships. at least my exes so far have given rather good feedback about my enthusiaism and not "just letting the guys do the job" attitude.
with all these troubling tots in me, i feel im losing my confidence n self esteem bit by bit. worse, whenever i bring this up to discuss with him, he blow his top, telling me off that the more i bring this up, the more turned off he becomes. i suggested seeking professional help, which he reluctantly agree but a guy fren advised me against really going for it, saying this hurts man's ego. one fren suggested me "threathening" that if he doesnt do something abt it, im going to go for another to satisfy my needs. i think this is absolutely degrading to myself and hurting to him, so im not going to go down that road, but who is to tell what will happen if an irresistable temptation comes along right? man has their needs so do women!
what can i do?????? someone pls help me!!!!
