Ok.. Before I start, I know I will be bombarded by you guys/ gals. But I really need to get this out as there's no one whom I can tell.
I'm married for 2+yrs & have dated my hubby for 5 yrs before marriage. Frankly, this relationship started as a rebound for both him & me. There have been happy & sad moments as usual. But I have not been truly happy in this relationship of 8 yrs. But I must say that he’s really a great guy & I really appreciate all the things that he had done for me.
My story started when I met this guy (Mr J) 1 yr after I started dating my hubby. He is the kind of guy I like & we both knew we had feelings for each other. He knew I already have a bf. But he said he will wait for me. Later, my hubby found out abt this & to retain the relationship I decided to stop contacting Mr J. But I never did forget him. He was always in my mind.
After abt 9mths, after a big quarrel with my hubby & a temp break up, I decided to sms Mr J. & boy was I happy when he replied my sms. But he told me that he's married already for a few months but he said he's not happy in the marriage. I asked him why. & he told me the problems. He also said that it's was a mistake cos he actually had sex with this gal on the first date which was the main reason he decide to marry her.
After that, we kept in contact via sms while my hubby & I got back together again. Finally we arranged to meet up & that's how my never-ending relationship started with him. It has been almost 6yrs already. & he’s already a father of 2.
A lot of things happened in this 6yrs. & my affair with Mr J has been on & off all these while. But just before I was planning for my wedding, my hubby found out abt this affair. & even decided to call off the wedding but I convinced him that I will cut off all contact with Mr J. & he forgave me.
But things did not end here. 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I knew it’s Mr J’s. But I can’t possibly tell this to my hubby. So I just told him that I’m pregnant but the first question he asked me was do I know who’s the father. I was dumbfounded. In the end, I told him I don’t know. He asked me what am I going to do. I asked him if it’s not his, will he mind. He said yes. & of cos I told Mr J as well. But he told me that his wife also just got pregnant. It was the second shock. Initally, I was actually hoping that he will tell me that he will take responsibility. He also asked me the same thing as my hubby. Do I know whose the father. I told him it’s his. But I could tell that he doesn’t believe so finally, my decision was abortion. My hubby stayed through with me. & we got married 1 year later. But I still have forgotten Mr J. At that time, I didn’t know my feelings for him was love or hate. I just simply can’t forget him.
One day, I received an email from Mr J. Out of temptation, I replied him. Shortly after that we met up again. Up till today, we are still in contact.
My relationship with my hubby has ok all these while. But recently, my relationship with my hubby has deteriorated & I was the cause of it. He found out that I have picked up smoking. Actually I have smoking for about 4 years already. He said I have betrayed him again. He said he find it hard to trust me again. & we have started sleeping in different rooms & have not been talking. He has been coming home late.
Now I’m contemplating divorce. I have a few reasons for having this thought.
1) Frankly in this marriage of 2 yrs, I have been living in agony. I have tried hard to be a good wife. But I know that he still can’t forget the past. Cos at times when we quarrel (which is very seldom), he will bring it up.
2) I realize that he’s really not the one for me.
3) To be fair to him, I feel that he deserves a better gal.
But I’m stuck now. As this marriage is less than 3 years, I would need to obtain leave of Court to file divorce. We really have no valid reasons for an immediate divorce. Anyone know how we can settle this sooner?
Also, we have the HDB flat. We can’t sell now. Have to wait for another 2 years. If we sell back to HDB, will it be at the current market value?
I'm married for 2+yrs & have dated my hubby for 5 yrs before marriage. Frankly, this relationship started as a rebound for both him & me. There have been happy & sad moments as usual. But I have not been truly happy in this relationship of 8 yrs. But I must say that he’s really a great guy & I really appreciate all the things that he had done for me.
My story started when I met this guy (Mr J) 1 yr after I started dating my hubby. He is the kind of guy I like & we both knew we had feelings for each other. He knew I already have a bf. But he said he will wait for me. Later, my hubby found out abt this & to retain the relationship I decided to stop contacting Mr J. But I never did forget him. He was always in my mind.
After abt 9mths, after a big quarrel with my hubby & a temp break up, I decided to sms Mr J. & boy was I happy when he replied my sms. But he told me that he's married already for a few months but he said he's not happy in the marriage. I asked him why. & he told me the problems. He also said that it's was a mistake cos he actually had sex with this gal on the first date which was the main reason he decide to marry her.
After that, we kept in contact via sms while my hubby & I got back together again. Finally we arranged to meet up & that's how my never-ending relationship started with him. It has been almost 6yrs already. & he’s already a father of 2.
A lot of things happened in this 6yrs. & my affair with Mr J has been on & off all these while. But just before I was planning for my wedding, my hubby found out abt this affair. & even decided to call off the wedding but I convinced him that I will cut off all contact with Mr J. & he forgave me.
But things did not end here. 2 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I knew it’s Mr J’s. But I can’t possibly tell this to my hubby. So I just told him that I’m pregnant but the first question he asked me was do I know who’s the father. I was dumbfounded. In the end, I told him I don’t know. He asked me what am I going to do. I asked him if it’s not his, will he mind. He said yes. & of cos I told Mr J as well. But he told me that his wife also just got pregnant. It was the second shock. Initally, I was actually hoping that he will tell me that he will take responsibility. He also asked me the same thing as my hubby. Do I know whose the father. I told him it’s his. But I could tell that he doesn’t believe so finally, my decision was abortion. My hubby stayed through with me. & we got married 1 year later. But I still have forgotten Mr J. At that time, I didn’t know my feelings for him was love or hate. I just simply can’t forget him.
One day, I received an email from Mr J. Out of temptation, I replied him. Shortly after that we met up again. Up till today, we are still in contact.
My relationship with my hubby has ok all these while. But recently, my relationship with my hubby has deteriorated & I was the cause of it. He found out that I have picked up smoking. Actually I have smoking for about 4 years already. He said I have betrayed him again. He said he find it hard to trust me again. & we have started sleeping in different rooms & have not been talking. He has been coming home late.
Now I’m contemplating divorce. I have a few reasons for having this thought.
1) Frankly in this marriage of 2 yrs, I have been living in agony. I have tried hard to be a good wife. But I know that he still can’t forget the past. Cos at times when we quarrel (which is very seldom), he will bring it up.
2) I realize that he’s really not the one for me.
3) To be fair to him, I feel that he deserves a better gal.
But I’m stuck now. As this marriage is less than 3 years, I would need to obtain leave of Court to file divorce. We really have no valid reasons for an immediate divorce. Anyone know how we can settle this sooner?
Also, we have the HDB flat. We can’t sell now. Have to wait for another 2 years. If we sell back to HDB, will it be at the current market value?
