hi ladies,
just wanna rant my frustrations here...
my hub comes from single parent, so he bought his previous house with his mum... now tat we have a new house, his mum is also staying with us plus his stepfather
firstly, his mum and stepfather has totally no savings of their own. although his stepfather works, his entire salary he gives to his mum to gamble. she is those type of people with no planning for future and consideration for others even her own son. she never ask if my husband has enough to pay for housing loan (last time took bank loan), and if he had money to do up wedding banquet or buy house furnitures etc.
the reason why she doesn't ask or 'care' about my husband is because she doesn't want him to question her back her gambling habits. so it is like 'u dun bother me i dun bother u' kind of relationship she wants to have with her own son. and she still dare to always claim that she owe her son 'debts' because she give birth to him and also she cares for him a lot etc
All these is so untrue because even my husband says that she is those type who got money can disappear from the house from morning to wee hours to gamble and only come back house to sleep and only when she gamble until that month allowance is gone then she will stay at home and pretend to be a good mother by calling my husband if he wants to come home for dinner, but she doesn't cook... at most she cooks 2 simple meals per week and she thinks her cooking is the best because when my husband and i cook, she will sneak around the kitchen to see how we cook and make comments and will also check upon us after our cooking and rearrange everything and clean up everything again to show us that we do not know how to cook and maintain the kitchen, and when i go back to the room she will take her food and add more soya sauce saying to my husband that what i have cooked got no flavour at all (i happened to walk into the kitchen when she said that and she looked sheepish immediately)
what is more irrating is that she likes to check on our stuff in our room as well. she will rearrange our personal belongings to her own liking, inside wardrobes, drawers, cabinets, table top items, gadgets, etc. my husband also mentioned that his coin box money is missing sometimes
there is totally no privacy because everything is under her scrutinization whenever she is not gambling!
she is so much of a control freak that even after i hung up the clothes to dry she will rearrange everything again. and no matter how clean we have wash the dishes, she will check them immediately we walk out of the kitchen, to the extend of refilling the water jug with water after every cup of water that we drank!!!
sometimes even when we are cooking very simple things like barley water or green bean soup, she will also want to take over from there and insist that we do not know how to cook.
basically she gives no room for my husband and i to move into the new phase of 'growing up' and growing in marriage
but at the same time, she always tell my husband that he has no one else to depend upon except himself and should provide financially to the family although he is already paying thousand plus for the housing, car, some house items, etc. all she wanted when she said that is to squeeze some money from husband to support her gambling hobby and also comparing that other people son can give their mothers so much and why couldnt he. my husband has always tell me that he feels that his mother is not understanding enough as a mother and she doesn't think back how she has never provided to him much since young because of gambling and running from debts and he only has a proper house when he started working and bought his own house and paid with his own money. and when he sold his house the mother still want to have a share in it making stupid claims that she has contributed a few times to the housing earlier when my husband cpf was running low at a point of time. twice when he sold the house, his mother wanted money for gambling. she doesn't calculate in that her own son needed money to renovate the new house and buy new furniture and electrical appliances all because she claims that this is spoilt and that is spoilt, new house must have this thing new and that thing new, etc
sometimes when my husband and i communicated in mix english-chinese, she will think that she knows what we are talking about and interrupt us, usually when we talk about money and she tinks that i complain to my husband that i have to contribute to the household and she will say something like my money will surely get it back, which makes my husband and i very irritated by her bossiness
the most recent time was when my husband and i were discussing about the future housing payment since economy is so bad now(because we are both self-employed and contribute to our own cpf), we were thinking which is better to pay for the housing should our savings run low. whether by cash or cpf because cpf still must spilt into medisave and special account so must contribute even more in order for ordinary account to have the same amount to the housing loan than cash, so his mother interrupt again and say if cpf not enought just need to take a few hundred cash each month to top up for the housing. this is such a stupid statement because unlike employees, our cpf is not contributed by company but by ourself with our own money, it is like left pocket is our money and right pocket is also our money, so cpf is like our cash as well, if we have not enough cpf money that could mean that for that particular month we did not have enough cash to contribute to our cpf and so how to have extra cash. anyway explain to her many times and she still can say it is the same and cpf will sure have money as long as company contribute cpf. she doesn't understand 'company' now is 'us' because self-employed. but all these frustrations is because she thinks she is very smart and wants to have a say in everything and she also wants to 'reassure' us so that we won't ask her to cut her gambling and contribute to the household instead.
we both felt that she is very selfish, doesnt care about the family or if we will have enough money for the family as a whole because they dont have savings to cover themself for old-age medical also, and also she doesn't care that her own son is 30++ already and will want to have own children someday
