I am lost (3 years relationship)

L

loster

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In a relationship almost 3 years. Surface was very nice for these times. She did lie to me before going out with another guy without my knowledge which i found out. She knew her fault and apologies willing to change. As i love her a lot, I decide to give her the chance. So as for me, i become more processive and restrict her doing a lot of things. Which i want to gain back the trust before i can give it back to her. As times goes by, it become something that i treat it for granted and just allow time to fade.

Recently, we quarrel over an issue which both of us have different mentality. It lies with the trust issue again. Then suddenly she disappear, ignoring my SMSs and calls.

I know i am at fault this time. I apologies to her and wanting to have a chance for us to try out one time. She denied.

Since these few days, I had think through a lot of our last 3 years. I really felt i am at fault of giving her surface happiness only. I didnt support or even give her the trust which is the basic of the relationship.

I really learnt my lessons and wanting to prove to her I will change for my faults. In a relationship we should give each other space.

But she is ignoring me now. What should I do? The sharp pain in my heart has been days... I really love her a lot.
 


Give her some times to cool down.. Maybe she is still angry..

But if she is still ignoring your call and sms, you got to take the hint and move on...

it always take 2 hands to clap.
 
Thanks, I understand.

I did apologies to her and say sorry to her. I am just asking for one chance from her.
 
yes, i know you love her a lot.. but isn a relationship needs 2 hands to clap.. if she ignore you, what can you do? you can only hope and pray.. Give yourself sometimes to reflect..

Let this be the cooling period
 
I understand how you feel. Sometimes ddemanding , processive and not giving one another space is often the problem in the relationship..

Sometimes, when things happened, You tend to think back and realise you are in the fault unknowingly...

take it easy,when trust is broken, everything is over.. it takes second to break a trust and years to buid a trust.. between how old are you..

You seem mature to think through..
 
I did think it through so much recently. and i am regretful and really want to prove myself. I am serious and not joking at all. But everyone makes mistake, that why i am asking for a tiny chance.

I know i should give her space. I will try, but u know it is so hard. cos my heart keep pain.

29
 
I was like you.. wanted a chance to prove myself that i changed, but things wasnt right for me.
No chance was given.
Same case as you... trust is not ther..

In the end, no chance given , and i am moving on wih life..

Cheer up. Give yourself one month ,2 month and see if she will come back.. I am starting to ignore my ex sms as wel.. Guess it time to move om
 
saw yr story, yours more dramatic than mine.

For me i am really serious for the change you know. Words are cheap when i told her i know. But let me prove it. I really want this chance.
 
ya, we broke up in july end.. and in august, he been msg me everyday, and then finally stop only last sat
 
oic... for you, u sld really think it through, cos u tried changing and doesnt work.
Is my PM working now?
 
she wants out and hence cutting off the emotion. It takes 2 to clap. If she isn't willing, respect her decision. Before thinking about patching up with her, think 1st, can u overcome your possessive and insecure mentality?
 
lost,

If you really want to patch up.. you can't really force it.

You can only be patient.. keep in contact once a while.. sms her.. just the usual how are you. if she ignore, do not persist.

Let her have some breathing space.. let her cool for a while..

Just be there and be patient.. If she value the relationship.. she will respond.. else there is nothing you can do.

If you keep harassing her, it will be counter productive.. Prove it with action by being understanding and respecting her decision..
 
Not sure what causes the big fight or argument, but I believe she needs time to cool down; jus keep in touch occasionally but don't pressurize her..
 
lost, give up. a leopard will never ever change its spots. dun be a fool like me. If she can cheat u once, there will be a second time and so on. Keep ur integerity as a man, u can find someone better than her
 
lost...let the water flows, no point forcing her to give u a chance when her heart is no longer with you anymore...

"u can choose to live bitter or better....huat ar~!"
 
1) I believe, you can't trust her anymore. you started to get suspicious of her words right?
2) how did you find out she went out with another guy?
 
Thanks plp. I think i have to give her some time and wait.
I think i can trust her, cos she did change after that incident. It was just a shopping trip with him, that's all.
But after that she had proven to me this one year i can believe her.
So I believe now i have to give her sometime and space.
 
Nobody can help u except u help yourself.
Everybody has go through this heart ache...
Be strong. Keep yourself busy..

If she come back and treat u as friend. take it slow...

If not, Please move on
 
Loving another person is about trusting him or her, and seeing him or her happy, among other things. How do you love her without trusting her? Could it be just a desire to possess her?
 
move on, and stop thinking and broading over it..

It is not going to help.. How can we help you?

what we can do is giving you advise but then you dun seem to move on
 
what is belongs to u will belongs to u, what dont belongs to u wun belongs to u.. take me for example. though my situation and urs are different but its adds up to the same theory...
 
ya ,i agree. Even if break up and patch back,eventually still break.
Time heal everything.
For me, i used to hope he will patch back. but as time goes by, one month? 2 months. He even msg me late at night like 5 am in the morning, or 3am. It is a forward msg which make me despite him.. he is the one who doesnt want to be friends and forget him and now...

So now, his sms had no more impact on me. I received and i deleted away. Never reply him.. He left me for another girl, sorry hor.. I not that generous to forgive him after so much suffering at his end.
 
for me, my case is different. mine may still have a chance or may not.... im not pinning too much hopes on it. i just want to do something for her while i still can. she may even turn nasty or more angry. at least that is the minial i could do for her.
 
Ou, u went from your thread to this thread n u r still talking abt hope.

When a person decides to leave, nothing you can do will make him/her stay. So there is really no point but to stop everything. The more desperate u look, the more he/she wants out.

There is no hope at this point at all, so stop hoping.

Your heart will stop hurting once u realise that all the hurt is in vain. Better to pick it up and live a better life for yourself.
 
ou,

you are back with hopes.. and doing things for her?

Crazy lah you.

Ok.. Hope is ok.. provided you have energy and you are not too much affected by it. Sometimes hope keep us motivated and keep us going. But don't pin too much on the hope.. you must be prepared to have nothing..

As for doing things for her.. forget about it ba. Please don't do anything for her unless she asks you specifically. Even if she asks, you can still say no.
 
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