meimei1601
Member
Hi...
This is the first time I have to post this on a "wedding forum". It suppose to be a forum that people share on their happiness on preparation on the new journey in life. But I realise not all. The "matter to heart" is most of us belong.
My ex and I ROM in March 28. It was a short courtship. We know each other for 1yr plus. however, since we are not young anymore and we both know what we want. He decide to proposed to me 5mths after into a relationship. Seriously I was happy when he do so. As we know, we wanted to be together with each other.
Strange thing is.. After his proposal. We seem to have alot of disagreement than before.
He convince me that he will take care of me, protect me and share my burden that makes me believe that I should married him without thinking much. And I do.
Just 4 mths after we ROM. He said he want to annul our marriage.
Reason given was... He is very stress... He is drain and have no heart to carry on.
he give me excuses on an unknown future, telling me that we will not get along and will end up divorce in future. He is stress for the preparation of the wedding which I am the one doing all the thing. He is drain when I told him to put a little support to me and put in a little effort on the marriage. He is the one wanted to have a wedding banquet not me. And all I did was wrong and making a big fuss.
I am amazed by how he can just walk out of our marriage. Giving no reason, just excuses. hurting me like I am his worst enemy. He can continue to eat, sleep and work like any other day leaving me devastated, pain and sadness... I will cry every night to sleep. break down into depression.
Yes we have alot of disagreement and we might not be compatible as mentioned above. But when I decide to take him as my man and make my vows. I decide to love him till dealth till us apart, How can he just do this? other than the pain we have and disagreement we had. We had so much happiness moment before... I dont understand how he do it.
I know time can heal the pain. But the scar will remain forever. I am tired...
Please tell me... what should I do??
This is the first time I have to post this on a "wedding forum". It suppose to be a forum that people share on their happiness on preparation on the new journey in life. But I realise not all. The "matter to heart" is most of us belong.
My ex and I ROM in March 28. It was a short courtship. We know each other for 1yr plus. however, since we are not young anymore and we both know what we want. He decide to proposed to me 5mths after into a relationship. Seriously I was happy when he do so. As we know, we wanted to be together with each other.
Strange thing is.. After his proposal. We seem to have alot of disagreement than before.
- When I met his parents and family for the 1st time. I was being ignored by them for the 2 hour dinner. No one was asking me question like most people would. I mean, arent they curious about his son's girlfriend/wife to be? They dont ask where I work, work as, how many sibling I have, my family background etc.. make it worst... the only person who keep smiling at me the whole night is the maid of his brother. He did ask me how was it after the dinner... I told the truth.. and he said his family is like that??
- When I ask him "what is relationship to him" after he proposed. He said relationship is like a business. I was so upset by his replied at the start. Business? Does it mean that its just a pay and get service type of relationship or a relationship that require certain return? Becos of such. I actually feel so sad that I almost wants to break up. I rejected his proposal immediately after knowing such, I told him that marriage is not a business. It require alot of hard work and make it thru. I feel that relationship should be a committment on both to make things work. But he explained that his "business' means "serious"? And I getting something wrong hereI have declare and confess to him that I am a high sex drive kind of person. But for such declaration. I was told by him that I should control myself. It become something weird and wrong with me. physical contact is important. If that is a barrier with him. I believe its good we talk things out and decide on our future. How can a married couple live together with physical contact?
- He always comparing me with his brother's wife (a malaysian whose family is in malaysia and only 1 sister in spore). He has his own business that deal with religious stuffs, who I am a free thinker. he expect me to be at his stall often and would expect me to help out in the stall after marriage. I am reluctant to do so, as I explain. I dont have such believe and I dont think I can help. I can only offer myself to be there helping during special occasion (like CNY) when its really busy. But I need to have my reunion dinner. (they dont have reunion dinner due to the business... oh.. its a family business). I mean... the bro's wife can help all she wants becos she didnt have her own family to take care of. But I do.
- He feel that I dont put in efford to mingle with his family. His bro and wife has attitude problem. And everytime I strike a conversation with them, They will just ignore me. I get along quite well with the mum and sis. But entertaining them everyday is tiring. I have try so many ways. I often bring down dinner to his stall for them. buy them lunch whenever I can.
The fact that I always tell him is. The stall is where his work is. And I dont find it a good idea to disturb his "work" no doubt his sibling is always there and I shd be there to get along with them. But.... If I can do nothing there and just loiter around like a ghost. Why do I have to do so? I have already did what I can... But its never enough.
He convince me that he will take care of me, protect me and share my burden that makes me believe that I should married him without thinking much. And I do.
Just 4 mths after we ROM. He said he want to annul our marriage.
Reason given was... He is very stress... He is drain and have no heart to carry on.
he give me excuses on an unknown future, telling me that we will not get along and will end up divorce in future. He is stress for the preparation of the wedding which I am the one doing all the thing. He is drain when I told him to put a little support to me and put in a little effort on the marriage. He is the one wanted to have a wedding banquet not me. And all I did was wrong and making a big fuss.
I am amazed by how he can just walk out of our marriage. Giving no reason, just excuses. hurting me like I am his worst enemy. He can continue to eat, sleep and work like any other day leaving me devastated, pain and sadness... I will cry every night to sleep. break down into depression.
Yes we have alot of disagreement and we might not be compatible as mentioned above. But when I decide to take him as my man and make my vows. I decide to love him till dealth till us apart, How can he just do this? other than the pain we have and disagreement we had. We had so much happiness moment before... I dont understand how he do it.
I know time can heal the pain. But the scar will remain forever. I am tired...
Please tell me... what should I do??