How do you guys settle finance before and after married?

[MLBB]

Recently spoke this to my bf about this. And i realised both of us have different way of managing finance. Thus, feel like hearing on other couples how do they manage finance together. Maybe i can pick some useful tips. First of all, we both earn roughly the same salary range. Except i am slightly few hundreds more.

My question on before married is referring to dating, wedding, honeymoon and renovation.
How do you guys split those costs? Do your bf pay most of the bulk or do you guys split equally like 50% 50%?

As for after married, how do you guys settle on household expenses, saving for retirement and probably kids?
Also household chores do you guys split the tasks too?

It will be great if you can explain in stages so that i can understand more.

 

[Infernolord]

Interesting to know as well..
I think there is not hard or fast rules to this.
I know there are couples

1. Hubby pass most saving to wife to manage. Then most expense come from their "joint acc" or her wife.
2. Joint acc, say 50% each to that acc and all expenses from there.
3. Spit even. (really weird i think) Go dinner, hubby pay, then his wife tell him "I will pay you later lah" - Doesnt look good in my personal opinion.
4. The one that earn more, pays most. (my female colleague earn more, so she manage all household finances. )

Personally, i manage our home finance . We have a joint acc, i contribute much more (cos i earn more)
Going out, i paid most as well. Not because i am nice, our priority is my wife to complete her degree 1st, so i want her to keep her saving to her studies.
haha So i expect she finish, can help up more.
My secret is to think of all $$$ both earn as one. "It's our money not your money".
Of cos there are risk to this, if my wife dun wan me... i am broke with nothing..

 

[Noobee]

Hi

My wedding is simple so not much cost. Both contributed.

Renovation that time was paid by me as I made most of the arrangements.

We both saved every month in our own account and transfer to joint maybe like once a year.

Annual trip and monthly expenses like utilities, SC and housing will be by hub

Kids expenses and household exp like marketing, daily personal products will be me

Huge expenses will be from joint acct.

Household chores all will contribute but of cos I did most of it.

 

[ALVIN 1980]

I think the most important thing is to understand 1 point. The family include husband and wife. its our family. By the way, I am male.

When my wife is working full time, I will pay all the expenses, car, house and etc. If she want to spent money on herself then she will use her own salary.

After she become the full time housewife, all my saving and earning go to the joint account which she has full access and control. Every month, I still transfer 2k for her saving account as her own saving. When she want to buy something and doesn't want to let me know, then she will use that account.

I think there is 1 important thing 1 learn which is women become insecure once they stop working. As husband, we can never say thing like "I am the boss as I earn the money", "That's my money". "You never work, where is ur money from".. All these word will destroy their confident and feel not being appreciated for giving up their career....just my 2cent view.

 

[miloice]

Recently spoke this to my bf about this. And i realised both of us have different way of managing finance. Thus, feel like hearing on other couples how do they manage finance together. Maybe i can pick some useful tips. First of all, we both earn roughly the same salary range. Except i am slightly few hundreds more.

My question on before married is referring to dating, wedding, honeymoon and renovation.
How do you guys split those costs? Do your bf pay most of the bulk or do you guys split equally like 50% 50%?

As for after married, how do you guys settle on household expenses, saving for retirement and probably kids?
Also household chores do you guys split the tasks too?

It will be great if you can explain in stages so that i can understand more.

Firstly, there is no generic rule. However, when it comes with finances, it is something that couples need to be supportive towards each other. Thumb of rule, if one is suffering to make ends meet while the other is comfortably living off the cushion created by the spouse, then, its unbalanced. The more buffer you guys have, the less you need to micro manage.

The conflicts usually comes when expenses are not sustainable. When there are unlimited needs and wants and very limited resources, it is absolutely necessary that couples collaborate and work together. Ideally, there is no my money, both can maintain their own savings but when it comes to impt decisions, both should not be selfish. Some examples, would be one party that insists on expensive hobbies or trips, at the expense of the spouse, or couples that are only willing to chip in cent for cent. Such pettyness only reflect your priorities and commitment to the relationship. In times of hardship, such behavior will harden the impression to your partner.

I would suggest that couples shouldn't start by stretching their budget. Have a banquet, property, reno that fits your budget. Have kids when you can afford, save enough for your family needs, rainy days for ageing parents or family members that are dependent. If you start off without a plan, you will be stress and fighting over finances all the time. There are ups and downs in life, you need to be prepared for them. When its time of crisis, you would be prepared to bite the bullet and see through them together as a couple.