Hainanese Brides, anyone???
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Its TGIF...reading my emails..sharing this with u gals..
21 Types of Bosses - by Melanie Joy Douglas
1. The Martyr Boss
The martyr boss has done, does, and always will do anything for the good of the company. He has worked Christmas Day, with pneumonia, in a snowstorm. He walked to and from work for 5 weeks after his car accident, with both legs broken. He stays every night until 8 pm without extra pay. How do you compete? You don’t. You listen. He’ll probably be there way past retirement, so it’s best to learn how to deal with him early on.
2. The Screamer Boss
The screamer boss seems to think that he will get his way if he raises his voice to an unconscionable level: the higher the volume, the higher the commitment. How does a screamer end up a boss? Some clueless hiring managers equate screaming with managerial skill. All in all, screamers just want to know that they’re being heard, and they want recognition. If you can get along with your screamer boss, and gain his respect and trust, perhaps you can help guide him to lower tones.
3. The Fearmonger Boss
People do what a “fearsome†boss says because they’re afraid of him, which actually encourages further intimidation. He always has a threat, and he constantly follows through with that threat in order to keep his employees acquiescent. This boss has a high turnover rate as he fires employees to keep up the fear factor, and good employees leave him, refusing to work for such an ogre. A fearsome boss cannot last. Eventually, he will burn out every employee he has, and an organization’s bottom line cannot sustain the costs involved. Karma will get this one.
4. The Manipulator Boss
Also known as the Machiavellian boss, this type is extremely intelligent and one of the most dangerous. The manipulator boss is highly focused, very motivated, and always has a secret plan. He looks at people as a means to an end. The world is a giant pyramid and the apex is his. People he touches or runs over on the way to the top are casualties he writes off. If you work for a manipulator, watch your back. Your best bet is to be open and honest with him. Volunteer information. Your boss, who has long forgotten what truth is, will be left impressed by it.
5. The Bumbler Boss
The bumbler boss is the dunce of the bosses. The best way to deal with your bumbler boss is to help get him promoted. When bumblers are promoted, they are notorious for promoting the people underneath them. Besides, sooner than later, executives will see your boss for the dunce that he is, and he’ll be shipped off somewhere. Now of course, following this advice makes you somewhat of a manipulator, but if you can’t get out from under him, why not help you both climb up? You’re not responsible for what happens at the top.
6. The Clueless Boss
The clueless boss is not dumb – he’s just uneducated. Perhaps he just started with the company, is unfamiliar with the technology, or is temporarily out-of-touch due to personal problems. A clueless boss can be a good boss who is just off-track at the moment. The best way to deal with this type of boss is to teach him, and bring him up to speed. You’ll be surprised at how fast he comes around, and he’ll have you to thank!
7. The Old-Schooler
The old-schooler dwells on the good ol’ days, on “the way things used to be.†However, if he is so entrenched in the past, eventually he will stop being able to function in the present. An old-school boss, despite his resistance to move on, does have a great deal of information and can contribute to the best interests of your organization, as long as he is able to accept gradual amounts of change with guidance. Be patient, and try to remember that “new†is not necessarily better – it’s “different.†See if you can get him to that point.
8. The God Boss
The god boss, a true megalomaniac, is about power. You’ll notice the engraved gold plate on his office door, desk, and chair proclaiming his rank. He might take outrageous liberties like having an employee clean out his car. When you question him, he’ll just point to the gold plates. Rest assured that his cloak of power hides great incompetence. How to get along with a god boss? Humour him. Follow his rules, and create the illusion you’re doing things his way. Remember, he’ll never control your mind.
9. The Teflon Boss
This non-stick boss is especially prominent in public affairs. Any blame slides right off him. He does not give straight answers to straight questions. If something goes wrong, unparalleled documented evidence surfaces to prove he was somewhere else at the time. The non-stick boss is more of a nuisance than a danger. When dealing with him, it’s best to keep detailed accounts and records of your conversations.
10. The What Boss?
The what boss? is always missing in action. He becomes harmless because he’s just never there. When he’s in the office, take advantage of his presence. You’ll feel miffed at the lack of justice – you slaving in your cubicle eight hours a day, five days a week for half his salary, while he’s out on the golf course... but remember – it could be much worse. You could have a screamer.
11. The Paranoid Boss
The paranoid boss is outright suspicious of everyone’s motives. Anything anyone does could be attempts to undermine him. This boss’ feelings of inadequacy will clearly end up interfering in what’s best for the company and his employees. What you can do? Reassure him, and always be honest and forthright.
12. The World-on-his-shoulders Boss
Though this boss might present himself as tough, he can barely hide his inadequacies. He absorbs the world’s worries, and worries for the world. He frets about little details. He arrives at the office in the morning, flushed and frazzled, because he was lying awake the night before agonizing over numbers and orders. How to deal? Be gentle, but try to avoid much interaction if you can. The nervousness can be contagious.
13. The Buzzword Boss
The buzzword boss loves his designer clothes, cars, pen, and toothbrush. What he loves even more are those clichés he heard at the latest management seminar. Get your barf buckets ready folks, this boss adores the fact that, remarkably, there’s no “I†in team, that he can’t spell success without “u,†and that for him to assume would make an “ass†out of “u†and “me.†Though not for the easily queasy, this boss is essentially harmless. Grin and bear it. And, if you can – teach him some new words on a regular basis.
14. The Buddy Boss
The buddy boss wants to be your friend, not your “superior.†He wants you to like him, and because friends stick up for friends, it might be a good investment to spend some time with him. However, be forewarned: hanging out with buddy boss during your work hours could have you working nights to keep up. The key here is balance.
15. The Two-minute Boss
The two-minute boss is a cross between a god boss and a world-on-his-shoulders boss. He impulsively demands control over situations (“What have you done when I was on vacation?â€) and then cuts off your answer two minutes in because he doesn’t have time to discuss it. He frequently, yet randomly, asks you to write reports on your progress, but will rarely remember that he’s asked. The two-minute boss constantly gives the impression that he is way too busy to bother with details. His head is always somewhere else – somewhere more important. Working for this boss is an exercise in the art of speaking concisely. Try to fit everything you have to say in a two-minute timeframe, and see what happens.
16. The Patronizing Boss
The patronizing boss is an old-school martyr. Didn’t you know? - he built the company from the ground up! In fact, he made the chair you’re sitting in. You, as an underling, need his holiness’s guidance to see you through the most mundane and simple of tasks. His help, however, always leads to – you guessed it - trouble. How to deal with the King of Condescension? Try a little deflation. Ask him how is it that someone as knowledgeable and talented as him is working for this little company.
17. The Idiot Boss
The idiot boss is characterized by cluelessness and stupidity. It’s as if he just walked into the office yesterday and started running it. Your choices here can be limited. Doing nothing will leave you embittered, but what can you do when you can’t change an idiot? Well, you can change your reaction. The world is full of idiots in charge, but don’t let it get you down. Do your personal best, and realize that in some way, your boss serves a purpose. Figure out what it is.
18. Lone Wolf Boss
The lone wolf prefers to ride solo. He stays in his office or works from home, avoiding human contact, especially employee interaction. He could be a tech whiz who was promoted based on his outstanding hard skills, but he’s not necessarily a people person. The lone wolf boss leaves you on your own, so don’t expect teamwork or career goal discussions. Look to build your work and networking relationships elsewhere.
19. The Perfectionist
The perfectionist is a micro-manager who likes to control all of your work. The behaviour is obsessive, and leaves you with very little trust in your own abilities. Over time, you’ll learn that nothing you do will ever be good enough for him. Instead of losing all motivation, learn to work for yourself and your own standards. At one point, sit down with your boss and ask him to explain his expectations (even put them in writing) so you both can “get on the same page.â€
20. The Eccentric
The eccentric boss has unrealistic expectations for his staff. He has a unique way of completing his work, and expects his employees to work in the same manner. He can be gentle, but often causes confusion around his expectations and explanations of projects. This boss is likely to play favourites (as he gravitates towards others with similar interests). The eccentric boss would most likely rather be doing something else, and sometimes this will show.
21. The Great Boss
Ahh, the great boss – the supportive motivator - the boss who treats everyone with fairness regardless of politics. He communicates, keeps an open door policy, and encourages others to follow suit. He leads by example, provides superior training, and a positive work environment. He has vision, is not afraid, and doesn’t scream. He coaches his staff, and when employees leave, they will talk about him for years to come.
So which type is your boss? hahaa
21 Types of Bosses - by Melanie Joy Douglas
1. The Martyr Boss
The martyr boss has done, does, and always will do anything for the good of the company. He has worked Christmas Day, with pneumonia, in a snowstorm. He walked to and from work for 5 weeks after his car accident, with both legs broken. He stays every night until 8 pm without extra pay. How do you compete? You don’t. You listen. He’ll probably be there way past retirement, so it’s best to learn how to deal with him early on.
2. The Screamer Boss
The screamer boss seems to think that he will get his way if he raises his voice to an unconscionable level: the higher the volume, the higher the commitment. How does a screamer end up a boss? Some clueless hiring managers equate screaming with managerial skill. All in all, screamers just want to know that they’re being heard, and they want recognition. If you can get along with your screamer boss, and gain his respect and trust, perhaps you can help guide him to lower tones.
3. The Fearmonger Boss
People do what a “fearsome†boss says because they’re afraid of him, which actually encourages further intimidation. He always has a threat, and he constantly follows through with that threat in order to keep his employees acquiescent. This boss has a high turnover rate as he fires employees to keep up the fear factor, and good employees leave him, refusing to work for such an ogre. A fearsome boss cannot last. Eventually, he will burn out every employee he has, and an organization’s bottom line cannot sustain the costs involved. Karma will get this one.
4. The Manipulator Boss
Also known as the Machiavellian boss, this type is extremely intelligent and one of the most dangerous. The manipulator boss is highly focused, very motivated, and always has a secret plan. He looks at people as a means to an end. The world is a giant pyramid and the apex is his. People he touches or runs over on the way to the top are casualties he writes off. If you work for a manipulator, watch your back. Your best bet is to be open and honest with him. Volunteer information. Your boss, who has long forgotten what truth is, will be left impressed by it.
5. The Bumbler Boss
The bumbler boss is the dunce of the bosses. The best way to deal with your bumbler boss is to help get him promoted. When bumblers are promoted, they are notorious for promoting the people underneath them. Besides, sooner than later, executives will see your boss for the dunce that he is, and he’ll be shipped off somewhere. Now of course, following this advice makes you somewhat of a manipulator, but if you can’t get out from under him, why not help you both climb up? You’re not responsible for what happens at the top.
6. The Clueless Boss
The clueless boss is not dumb – he’s just uneducated. Perhaps he just started with the company, is unfamiliar with the technology, or is temporarily out-of-touch due to personal problems. A clueless boss can be a good boss who is just off-track at the moment. The best way to deal with this type of boss is to teach him, and bring him up to speed. You’ll be surprised at how fast he comes around, and he’ll have you to thank!
7. The Old-Schooler
The old-schooler dwells on the good ol’ days, on “the way things used to be.†However, if he is so entrenched in the past, eventually he will stop being able to function in the present. An old-school boss, despite his resistance to move on, does have a great deal of information and can contribute to the best interests of your organization, as long as he is able to accept gradual amounts of change with guidance. Be patient, and try to remember that “new†is not necessarily better – it’s “different.†See if you can get him to that point.
8. The God Boss
The god boss, a true megalomaniac, is about power. You’ll notice the engraved gold plate on his office door, desk, and chair proclaiming his rank. He might take outrageous liberties like having an employee clean out his car. When you question him, he’ll just point to the gold plates. Rest assured that his cloak of power hides great incompetence. How to get along with a god boss? Humour him. Follow his rules, and create the illusion you’re doing things his way. Remember, he’ll never control your mind.
9. The Teflon Boss
This non-stick boss is especially prominent in public affairs. Any blame slides right off him. He does not give straight answers to straight questions. If something goes wrong, unparalleled documented evidence surfaces to prove he was somewhere else at the time. The non-stick boss is more of a nuisance than a danger. When dealing with him, it’s best to keep detailed accounts and records of your conversations.
10. The What Boss?
The what boss? is always missing in action. He becomes harmless because he’s just never there. When he’s in the office, take advantage of his presence. You’ll feel miffed at the lack of justice – you slaving in your cubicle eight hours a day, five days a week for half his salary, while he’s out on the golf course... but remember – it could be much worse. You could have a screamer.
11. The Paranoid Boss
The paranoid boss is outright suspicious of everyone’s motives. Anything anyone does could be attempts to undermine him. This boss’ feelings of inadequacy will clearly end up interfering in what’s best for the company and his employees. What you can do? Reassure him, and always be honest and forthright.
12. The World-on-his-shoulders Boss
Though this boss might present himself as tough, he can barely hide his inadequacies. He absorbs the world’s worries, and worries for the world. He frets about little details. He arrives at the office in the morning, flushed and frazzled, because he was lying awake the night before agonizing over numbers and orders. How to deal? Be gentle, but try to avoid much interaction if you can. The nervousness can be contagious.
13. The Buzzword Boss
The buzzword boss loves his designer clothes, cars, pen, and toothbrush. What he loves even more are those clichés he heard at the latest management seminar. Get your barf buckets ready folks, this boss adores the fact that, remarkably, there’s no “I†in team, that he can’t spell success without “u,†and that for him to assume would make an “ass†out of “u†and “me.†Though not for the easily queasy, this boss is essentially harmless. Grin and bear it. And, if you can – teach him some new words on a regular basis.
14. The Buddy Boss
The buddy boss wants to be your friend, not your “superior.†He wants you to like him, and because friends stick up for friends, it might be a good investment to spend some time with him. However, be forewarned: hanging out with buddy boss during your work hours could have you working nights to keep up. The key here is balance.
15. The Two-minute Boss
The two-minute boss is a cross between a god boss and a world-on-his-shoulders boss. He impulsively demands control over situations (“What have you done when I was on vacation?â€) and then cuts off your answer two minutes in because he doesn’t have time to discuss it. He frequently, yet randomly, asks you to write reports on your progress, but will rarely remember that he’s asked. The two-minute boss constantly gives the impression that he is way too busy to bother with details. His head is always somewhere else – somewhere more important. Working for this boss is an exercise in the art of speaking concisely. Try to fit everything you have to say in a two-minute timeframe, and see what happens.
16. The Patronizing Boss
The patronizing boss is an old-school martyr. Didn’t you know? - he built the company from the ground up! In fact, he made the chair you’re sitting in. You, as an underling, need his holiness’s guidance to see you through the most mundane and simple of tasks. His help, however, always leads to – you guessed it - trouble. How to deal with the King of Condescension? Try a little deflation. Ask him how is it that someone as knowledgeable and talented as him is working for this little company.
17. The Idiot Boss
The idiot boss is characterized by cluelessness and stupidity. It’s as if he just walked into the office yesterday and started running it. Your choices here can be limited. Doing nothing will leave you embittered, but what can you do when you can’t change an idiot? Well, you can change your reaction. The world is full of idiots in charge, but don’t let it get you down. Do your personal best, and realize that in some way, your boss serves a purpose. Figure out what it is.
18. Lone Wolf Boss
The lone wolf prefers to ride solo. He stays in his office or works from home, avoiding human contact, especially employee interaction. He could be a tech whiz who was promoted based on his outstanding hard skills, but he’s not necessarily a people person. The lone wolf boss leaves you on your own, so don’t expect teamwork or career goal discussions. Look to build your work and networking relationships elsewhere.
19. The Perfectionist
The perfectionist is a micro-manager who likes to control all of your work. The behaviour is obsessive, and leaves you with very little trust in your own abilities. Over time, you’ll learn that nothing you do will ever be good enough for him. Instead of losing all motivation, learn to work for yourself and your own standards. At one point, sit down with your boss and ask him to explain his expectations (even put them in writing) so you both can “get on the same page.â€
20. The Eccentric
The eccentric boss has unrealistic expectations for his staff. He has a unique way of completing his work, and expects his employees to work in the same manner. He can be gentle, but often causes confusion around his expectations and explanations of projects. This boss is likely to play favourites (as he gravitates towards others with similar interests). The eccentric boss would most likely rather be doing something else, and sometimes this will show.
21. The Great Boss
Ahh, the great boss – the supportive motivator - the boss who treats everyone with fairness regardless of politics. He communicates, keeps an open door policy, and encourages others to follow suit. He leads by example, provides superior training, and a positive work environment. He has vision, is not afraid, and doesn’t scream. He coaches his staff, and when employees leave, they will talk about him for years to come.
So which type is your boss? hahaa
hee.. Stacy, I created those files myself. Basically I'm a planner, I do not like to see that things are not done properly and have last min cock up. I'm trying to minimise the possibilities. (^_^)
janf, u are sick too? Take good care lor. hubby not around so 'xiang si bing' is it?
Nellie and Stacy are right, weather qi siao these days, drink more water and take more fruits.
janf, u are sick too? Take good care lor. hubby not around so 'xiang si bing' is it?
aiyoh ivied - even u oso make fun of me ah.. haha. my colls oso said the same thg.. no lah, not XiangSiBing but rather the flu bug has been spreading ard my ofc for wks liao.. 1coll recovering, another coll will be sick.. merry-go-round and now me kena.. totally zombie now.. i told my colls muz speak louder to me today coz my ears are stuck! haah.
no prob Stacy.
I also wish to see that everyone to be shun shun li li on the actual day.
ya lor, same here. And I have completed most of my work, so now relax relax.. hee..
ha ha janf, u can't blame us. u got to take care, else u may pass the flu bug to your bo lao when he is back. drink more water.
ya lor, same here. And I have completed most of my work, so now relax relax.. hee..
ha ha janf, u can't blame us. u got to take care, else u may pass the flu bug to your bo lao when he is back. drink more water.
ours also got indian theme before..that's was yrs before I joined.
The funniest one I experience was when our theme was prisoners..we were wearing the strip shirt n my collague used the toilet bowl ball (u know those old flush toilet) n we tied it to the legs n the dinner venue was at Shangri La. After the D&D, we went to the road to get a cab..but few taxi drivers just drove away, simply refuse to pick us (prob they think we are escape prisoners. Can u imagine..the bushes outside Shangri La?)Hahaa...
This yr, still thinking wat to wear.. My colleague was suggesting snow white + 7 dwafs + the wicked which and the cat...hahaa
The funniest one I experience was when our theme was prisoners..we were wearing the strip shirt n my collague used the toilet bowl ball (u know those old flush toilet) n we tied it to the legs n the dinner venue was at Shangri La. After the D&D, we went to the road to get a cab..but few taxi drivers just drove away, simply refuse to pick us (prob they think we are escape prisoners. Can u imagine..the bushes outside Shangri La?)Hahaa...
This yr, still thinking wat to wear.. My colleague was suggesting snow white + 7 dwafs + the wicked which and the cat...hahaa
hello everyone~~Ops... so long never chat here ler... My AD over ler... Had a pleasant wedding... Hehehe Went to hokkaido and tokyo for my HM... Very nice place... So now back to work for a week ler... Getting use to married life too! And still have a long way to go... hahaha
hamsterden
New Member
hi ah mais!!!
How are you guys?
It's been so so so so long...
Got mish me or not??
My project is finally over!
Nellie, we went to HCM for the final presentation too! Ya...weather was so hot...did you try the Vietnamese coffee? It's very yummy...
Gosh...i am so so so glad that the project is over...i can finally find some time to settle my wedding stuff...quite panicky now cos my AD is less than a month away and hubby two weeks reservist now and so every day counts.
Am currently flying below radar so that bosses do not assign me tasks last minute *keep my fingers crossed*
CrystalZ...congrats! I'll be going to Osaka and Kyoto for HM too...but it'll be cold cold winter for me...
How was your wedding at PPR? which ballroom did you use? We have upgraded to Plaza Ballroom cos we have more tables than before.
CSI...we have decided to use Damon for videographer...hehe...he is doing it free lance. Bet you must be all hyped up for your AD now...
I'm practically on holiday mood now, ah mais... no mood to work anymore!
How are you guys?
It's been so so so so long...
Got mish me or not??
My project is finally over!
Nellie, we went to HCM for the final presentation too! Ya...weather was so hot...did you try the Vietnamese coffee? It's very yummy...
Gosh...i am so so so glad that the project is over...i can finally find some time to settle my wedding stuff...quite panicky now cos my AD is less than a month away and hubby two weeks reservist now and so every day counts.
Am currently flying below radar so that bosses do not assign me tasks last minute *keep my fingers crossed*
CrystalZ...congrats! I'll be going to Osaka and Kyoto for HM too...but it'll be cold cold winter for me...
CSI...we have decided to use Damon for videographer...hehe...he is doing it free lance. Bet you must be all hyped up for your AD now...
I'm practically on holiday mood now, ah mais... no mood to work anymore!
ha ha Li Ann, Welcome back!
So now u can put full force to prepare the final bits of your wedding prep.
Can feel your excitement here... ha ha..
So envy you all, I may not have the luxury for honeymoon. My boss is hinting me if I can come back after my wedding, coz customer is here for testing. haiz.. lucky I have not done any confirmation booking yet.
So now u can put full force to prepare the final bits of your wedding prep.
Can feel your excitement here... ha ha..
So envy you all, I may not have the luxury for honeymoon. My boss is hinting me if I can come back after my wedding, coz customer is here for testing. haiz.. lucky I have not done any confirmation booking yet.
Cannot extend my stay, need to come back to work. Also didn't expect the trip was enjoyable. Maybe it's due to the group of colleagues I'm hanging with during this trip.
Of course, I did try the Vietnamese coffee, especially their iced milk coffee. It was smooth and nice except that it's a bit too sweet. I always have to add in water to make it less sweet.
Of course, I did try the Vietnamese coffee, especially their iced milk coffee. It was smooth and nice except that it's a bit too sweet. I always have to add in water to make it less sweet.
Hi ladies, I'm having my AD next year. My husband is a hainanese and has a younger sister, but already married with a kid. I'd like to know if it's necessary for me or my parents to purchase anything for my husband's married younger sister. My in-laws spoke very vaguely about buying an item of value (perhaps a piece of jewlery) for my sister-in-law.
My understanding is some dialects observe this practice only if the sister-in-law is unmarried. But not if sister-in-law is married! With a kid some more.
I'm quite confused by this and would appreciate any input on this "practice". My MIL is a teochew.. so not sure if there is such a practice for teochews.. but my FIL is a Hainanese.. so my sister-in-law is considered a hainanese.
If I need to buy jewlery for my sister-in-law, I should start looking around soon.
Many thanks!
My understanding is some dialects observe this practice only if the sister-in-law is unmarried. But not if sister-in-law is married! With a kid some more.
I'm quite confused by this and would appreciate any input on this "practice". My MIL is a teochew.. so not sure if there is such a practice for teochews.. but my FIL is a Hainanese.. so my sister-in-law is considered a hainanese.
If I need to buy jewlery for my sister-in-law, I should start looking around soon.
Many thanks!
Thanks very much for your reply, iViED.
Are you suggesting that it could be more of a teochew custom than a hainanese custom to buy a piece of jewlery for my sister-in-law, who is my husband's younger sister, even though she is already married?
Hm... I thought it's only for unmarried younger sisters.... and do you know if it is a piece of jewlery?
Are you suggesting that it could be more of a teochew custom than a hainanese custom to buy a piece of jewlery for my sister-in-law, who is my husband's younger sister, even though she is already married?
Hm... I thought it's only for unmarried younger sisters.... and do you know if it is a piece of jewlery?
thanks for clarifying iViED.
All these traditions and customs are quite confusing.....
my in-laws grandparents are not around anymore.. and my MIL's mother passed away when she was a child.. so their understanding of tradition is slightly suspect.. it could be more of a "listen here, listen there" thing.. an amalgamation of beliefs...
but since my in-laws have asked for "an item of value" for my husband's younger sister, it's not correct for us not to give, unless we are sure it is not part of the hainanese tradition. If we did and it's not part of the hainanese tradition, it makes us look very stupid too...
sigh.
All these traditions and customs are quite confusing.....
my in-laws grandparents are not around anymore.. and my MIL's mother passed away when she was a child.. so their understanding of tradition is slightly suspect.. it could be more of a "listen here, listen there" thing.. an amalgamation of beliefs...
but since my in-laws have asked for "an item of value" for my husband's younger sister, it's not correct for us not to give, unless we are sure it is not part of the hainanese tradition. If we did and it's not part of the hainanese tradition, it makes us look very stupid too...
sigh.
hamsterden
New Member
hi hi cactus_79...
mm..i can understand what you mean....even between my own mum side (hokkien) and my FMIL side (also hokkien), the tradition and custom they each believe is different. Thus, we have to compromise a bit bit to make everyone happy.
I'm supposed to buy shoes for my FILs but this is replaced by ang baos. They did not ask me to buy anything for my sis in law who is already married.
You can try asking if the "valuable item" can be replaced by ang bao so that it will not be awkward when you buy something not too valuable or buy something valuable but sis in law don't like.
mm..i can understand what you mean....even between my own mum side (hokkien) and my FMIL side (also hokkien), the tradition and custom they each believe is different. Thus, we have to compromise a bit bit to make everyone happy.
I'm supposed to buy shoes for my FILs but this is replaced by ang baos. They did not ask me to buy anything for my sis in law who is already married.
You can try asking if the "valuable item" can be replaced by ang bao so that it will not be awkward when you buy something not too valuable or buy something valuable but sis in law don't like.
Hi Li Ann, thanks for your suggestion. I think at this point, my parents' concern are they don't want to appear "stupid" by doing something which is not "in line" with tradition, cos so far, all we've heard is buying things for unmarried sis-in-laws..not married.
But since my in-laws asked, we need to discuss with them, but my MIL said she doesn't know the reason.. it's just that she follow what old pple tell her... but the old pple not around anymore. Her parents are not around anymore.
But since my in-laws asked, we need to discuss with them, but my MIL said she doesn't know the reason.. it's just that she follow what old pple tell her... but the old pple not around anymore. Her parents are not around anymore.
i went to hokkaido and tokyo free & easy for my HM... having great time there.. haha anyway.. can view my photos at http://jamica80.multiply.com
LiANn.... i using plaza ballroom loh... there are some problems here and there.. anyway i just heck care... cannot think too much oso... and i enjoy my wedding very much.. hahaha
LiANn.... i using plaza ballroom loh... there are some problems here and there.. anyway i just heck care... cannot think too much oso... and i enjoy my wedding very much.. hahaha
Hihi,
Had MIA-ed for the PM coz went to see the dr. Spent so much $$ after that. Went to Plaza Sing after that to get a new TV, cooking stove and a fake looking vintage phone. Haiii, I really loved the real wooden vintage phone at Best, but freaked out at the $128 price tag.
Hmmm cactus, I had not heard of the jewelry thing for younger sis under Hainanese customs but I had heard of the towels thingy for Teochew.
Crystalz, glad to know that things went ok at PPR. I am hoping that mine will be fine too. Now taking one step at a time.... get my fitting settled this week then headache the food tasting in Dec.
Li Ann, welcome back! Mish u here manzzz! So how many tables u having now?
Had MIA-ed for the PM coz went to see the dr. Spent so much $$ after that. Went to Plaza Sing after that to get a new TV, cooking stove and a fake looking vintage phone. Haiii, I really loved the real wooden vintage phone at Best, but freaked out at the $128 price tag.
Hmmm cactus, I had not heard of the jewelry thing for younger sis under Hainanese customs but I had heard of the towels thingy for Teochew.
Crystalz, glad to know that things went ok at PPR. I am hoping that mine will be fine too. Now taking one step at a time.... get my fitting settled this week then headache the food tasting in Dec.
Li Ann, welcome back! Mish u here manzzz! So how many tables u having now?
Hi cactus,
checked with my mama last night, she said there is no such practice of hainanese to purchase jewellery for married younger sis, only to single younger sis. (she said married sis is not consider part of the family already so no need. Somemore married sis cannot sit together with the family at VIP table)
Seriously, I find that traditions are slowly being 'removed' by the younger generation. The elders themselves are also not so sure about it anymore, everything was 'hear say'. Do not worry about appearing 'stupid' by doing something not in line with tradition. Bu zhi ze wu zhui
If your FMIL is requesting for it, then go ahead with her wishes lor, else she will be upset about it. This is my personal view.
Hi crystalz,
wow, u are another tall gal! You and your bo lao has that couple look.
checked with my mama last night, she said there is no such practice of hainanese to purchase jewellery for married younger sis, only to single younger sis. (she said married sis is not consider part of the family already so no need. Somemore married sis cannot sit together with the family at VIP table)
Seriously, I find that traditions are slowly being 'removed' by the younger generation. The elders themselves are also not so sure about it anymore, everything was 'hear say'. Do not worry about appearing 'stupid' by doing something not in line with tradition. Bu zhi ze wu zhui
If your FMIL is requesting for it, then go ahead with her wishes lor, else she will be upset about it. This is my personal view.
Hi crystalz,
wow, u are another tall gal! You and your bo lao has that couple look.
hi huiz,
what happened? u ok? hmm.. u can still go shopping after seeing the doc??? u went to Best Denki is it? I saw one vintage phone there too, quite nice but heafty price. hee..
crystalz, your PS at the beach is nice! I like the romantic feel....... feeling of freedom too.
what happened? u ok? hmm.. u can still go shopping after seeing the doc??? u went to Best Denki is it? I saw one vintage phone there too, quite nice but heafty price. hee..
crystalz, your PS at the beach is nice! I like the romantic feel....... feeling of freedom too.
Yaya agree with ivied that Crystalz and her bo lao have the fu qi xiang
No la, ivied, I went to the hospital for my regular follow up for my diabetes. Say I siao la, but I quite like to go coz can get off work early and go shopping!! heehee... me wu liao ;-P
Yup, I got the TV and phone at Best Denki. So happy with the phone despite its not the real one. That real one v nice hor.... so solid man... heehee. On hindsight, I think it was a good buy last night coz the sickening GST is going up again! But my pay isnt! Sian ah....
No la, ivied, I went to the hospital for my regular follow up for my diabetes. Say I siao la, but I quite like to go coz can get off work early and go shopping!! heehee... me wu liao ;-P
Yup, I got the TV and phone at Best Denki. So happy with the phone despite its not the real one. That real one v nice hor.... so solid man... heehee. On hindsight, I think it was a good buy last night coz the sickening GST is going up again! But my pay isnt! Sian ah....
Hi hi all...
Good morning. Have been bz with some work..hardly log in
Hehee...I copied a design fm the learning fair yesterday, going to get the materials n DIY a bracelet for my PS...opps..its coming in exactly a mths time
Crystalz - thanks for sharing your pics..you've got a few gowns for change ya..I liked the AD night WG (white with red)..its so beautiful
Ivied - I agree with you..traditions are now slowly being removed as the generation goes..now mostly replaced by AB
Li Ann - missed you so much..glad to see u back in action again!
Good morning. Have been bz with some work..hardly log in
Crystalz - thanks for sharing your pics..you've got a few gowns for change ya..I liked the AD night WG (white with red)..its so beautiful
Ivied - I agree with you..traditions are now slowly being removed as the generation goes..now mostly replaced by AB
Li Ann - missed you so much..glad to see u back in action again!
Thanks iViED so much for checking with your mom!
I think I will give if my MIL requests for it, but I will prob put the jewelery in a red packet and give it to my married sis-in-law when she gives me the tea during the tea ceremony. LIke that, we won't look stupid cos pple may not know inside the red packet is jewlery.. they will think it's $. So both sides also good...
I think I will give if my MIL requests for it, but I will prob put the jewelery in a red packet and give it to my married sis-in-law when she gives me the tea during the tea ceremony. LIke that, we won't look stupid cos pple may not know inside the red packet is jewlery.. they will think it's $. So both sides also good...
Huiz - haha...was thinking abt that too..prob broken malay will do..cos there mostly chinese population
Last night was complaining to bo lao that our banquet tables going to pay for the additional 2%..but he said we already signed the contract, so the banquet tables not affected by the add 2%.
Last night was complaining to bo lao that our banquet tables going to pay for the additional 2%..but he said we already signed the contract, so the banquet tables not affected by the add 2%.
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