Confused


i tried to stop u. But of cos some pple around were more keen to engage n challenge me, and thereby softening the effects of my harsh decisive abilities.

so now your life is basically farked...what next? have u tried to PM Soisuka who probably doesn't give a flying fark abt your life in any way... but just want to appear to care and gain some popularity in this forum.

this post is for all the Bloody idiots and stupid pple who dun understand the intensity of problems, but give shallow crap stupid farkall advice.

a very big and loud 'FARK YOU!' to Soisuka, first and foremost. your mudderfarking inability to understand before u open your mudderfarking mouth to challenge pple for the sake of your mudderfarking need to gain acceptance will fark up the lives of every dumb idiot who will ever seek advice from u for the rest of your pointless life.

go fark youself before u farkup more pple's lives, no matter how much u gonna try to pretend u dun have any part to play, your farking urges to engage me unnecessarily when i try to talk to pple, is the farking problem.
 
as for u Pink Seabliss,

file for divorce, start meeting and dating other guys for a start... i dun really care if u're married or whatever...

if u want to eventually be happy and live a Llife... have the courage to tell yourself the truth.

HE DOESN'T FARKING LOVE U NOR WANT U AS HIS WIFE.

but someone else out there is waitng for someone perfect like u....

start going out....
 
Don't mind me saying this...
Seems that you married in total self-denial, and got into shits.

Tons of women have been able to waste their entire life with a man without love, why can't you? Look around this forum, the papers, and even the chinese drama... telling women that marriage is a habit, you don't need love.

Just be a good wife, secure the marriage...

Yeah, I am joking despite encountered so many crazy morons with this sort of idea.

You can still meet someone new, but... darling, are you a new you, emm?

You are not supposedly to meet someone new, you are going to meet someone you KNOW you love and who will love you. Which is, you are not going to marry a man who doesn't appreciate you again.

Put it simply...

Foresee, foresee, foresee:
1. Do you think if there is ANY natural cause he'd change and truly love you?
2. Do you think he really loves you when you were married?
3. Can you accept his treatment forever?

If No, then you have to leave lah...

Remember, it's NEVER 'we'. It's ONLY you. You cannot decide for him, you cannot make him love you, you cannot 'work' for a relationship, you cannot program him to love you any more than no matter what you do.

And kinship is NOT what a marriage is about.

Marriage is NOT a decision. You can't decide for him.

YOU alone, shalt make an independent judgement and a choice for yourself, and get what you deserve.

Some women choose bread. Some go with their feeling, to be fulfilled. Some go with peers, people say good, he's goood... Some go because parents like. Some women choose, only because they desire marriage...

Don't take chances. Love is not about chances. It's about you. Can you love 'him'. Then, can he love you.

Even when it comes to lust... when it comes to spending money, you know why. Because you want to be happy. So... how come you married a man who doesn't love you? LOL~

Don't take chances, it's gambling.
 
Powder is right.

But since you are not yet divorce, pls observe proper behavior while dating a new guy.

Otherwise, you'd be labelled as infidel...

You can still start seeing someone new, but no kiss, no sex, just 'friend'. Then once you decide he's the One or he is a good choice, then you can file for divorce and declare you got a bf. Then if you want to get laid is another issue.

Powder is right... But my concern, as with many other silly women is... have you changed? Have you grown?

See... What's the point if you remain the same, you left one hole and jump into another... LOL~
 
hi there, remember the unanswered questions I asked you on July 02, 2012 - 6:22 pm? It is still valid despite a different premarital status that you have now. You face the consequences of your decision. No amount of drinking will change that, no amount to effort you put in to get the validation of your husband is going to change that either. This is the very 1st thing you need to realize. Close your heart and expectations from him. Despite everyone else telling you look good, you cling on his validation when all these while you knew and mentioned he doesn't care. Your self esteem is ZERO.

As long as you don't take that step, all the crying is hopeless and useless. Everyone seek support to become stronger, to give us that strength to deal with the difficulties we all face. Don't excuse yourself that it is damn hard. It is.... but you screw up so badly, it is so much harder to go on a lifetime. Months back, you said : "I'm trying to break it off now. It is so difficult"... ask yourself again, what is difficult? the past months you went through? Difficult enough? Now, you are going to face it for a life time. Tough?

Scope is right, "But my concern, as with many other silly women is... have you changed? Have you grown?"

Stop excusing yourself as a victim. No one but you brought yourself into this mess. IF you continue to have this mentality, you will remain in the vicious cycle to mess up more.

Take charge. The only way things can change is when you make decisions towards the changes you want. Same advice after these months, your life your call. The sooner you finally accept you royally screw up yourself by excusing yourself its hard, the sooner you finally be able to change it. Don't be mistaken it is your husband that mess it up for you. He was the same all the while, I don't see that 180 degree. I see the same gal in denial in deeper shit. You will bury yourself in more crap as long as you don't realize your issues and do what is needed to STOP IT.
 
Hi Milo, you are right, I am in deeper shit now than I was a couple months back. But scope is right, I am still the insecure and timid little woman that I was that few months back. To my husband's credit, he wasn't like this when we first started dating. He was a loving and caring man but somehow that side of him has vanished. He says he is bored of looking at me and he has nothing to say to me. When I bring up the subject of separating he calls me immature. Is it me? Do I bring out the worst in people? If that's true then no matter whomever I end up with next, the situation will turn out the same way, wouldn't it.
 
Pink, you must take the initative to regain your self-esteem.

If you dun love yrself, how do u expect others to love you ?
 
Pink seabliss

Sorry if this sounds morbid, but was just wondering what was the colour you chose..to have such a big reaction.
 
If you meant hair color.. Well my hair is naturally black. i had it dyed brown with copper highlights sometime back. Few months ago when the regrowth got pretty obvious I had it dyed back to my natural black, so that I do not need to keep touching up. apparently i looked absolutely horrible in my natural hair color.
 
Peekaa, when I mentioned your self esteem is zero, it is exactly like what you are doing right now. No one is a born failure. We fail because we fail to learn from our lessons. We all have our issues, as we reflect, is there any point to bash ourselves and dwell in misery? Everyone of us can change when we really want to and believe that it is essential for us to.

The credit you are giving to your husband is the classical self denial mentality that you have been clinging on. What happens in initial dates is the honeymoon period, it is always sweet, if that isn't, then you must find pleasure in self torture. Otherwise, you and he are just like any other human. We tend to bring the best out of ourselves in the initial romance, everything will be smooth and sweet. We can overlook any and every issue then.

The reality is, you were never ready for a long lasting relationship and marriage, you have totally no idea what you wanted. The only way you can find that out is to walk the talk. No one is born with the wisedom. All baby crawl, walk before they run. And none will believe they can only crawl so lousily and never be able to walk for life.

Likewise, stop bashing yourself. Get a grib and recognize the issues you have. Differentiate between what you can do and cannot do. Those you can do nothing about are your limitations, we all have different limitations, don't punish yourself on these. What you should seriously reflect on are things you are fully CAPABLE to action on but chosen to excuse yourself all the time. Reasons like it is so difficult. Okay, everyone hear that and sayang you, but you still need to face it.

It is not too late for you to start to grow up. You don't need your husband to teach you. Life is your best teacher. The difficulties that doesn't kill you will help you survive better and stronger. Reflect all the time. Talk and listen, filter the insults, stay objective to reflect in ways you can improve. The next time you think you are in terrible shit, realize many people survive much more shit than you.

They are not superhuman, they are no different from you. They just don't have that luxury that you have been giving yourself thus far... EXCUSES and more EXCUSES to dwell in negativity.

Millions and billions people are suffering everyday, they face with problems way worser than marriage and relationship. Getting the validation of anyone else about their appearance is never in their priority. Lives depend on them. Their own lives depend on it, and the emotions of their loved ones depend on them as well. Imagine what a young person diagnosed with stage 4 cancer would be going through. How is he or she going to not worry about the parents, spouse and children. He/she cannot just die, they fight for their survival and medication can cost them several hundreds to thousands monthly. They need to stay healthy to stay employed and minimize the financial burden on their loved ones. They are in constant pain and suffering but cannot show it, they know they have to be positive to have the best chances of fighting the disease and also minimize the worries of their loved ones?

There are so many sufferings, yet, each and everyone of us can become stronger, cherishing what we have and important to us. Don't waste your time on a mistake. Accept it, and find out what you really need in your life. It has not been written, you just don't know where it leads. Focus on that.

Find your happiness and share it with someone that would appreciate and want it with you.
 
"When I bring up the subject of separating he calls me immature. Is it me? Do I bring out the worst in people? If that's true then no matter whomever I end up with next, the situation will turn out the same way, wouldn't it."

Every single person was childish once. We all screw up and made mistakes we regret. You will only remain this way when you fail to grow up. fail to reflect on the important things that WILL make a difference to your future. Dwelling in negativity is DEFINITELY not going to help you. Stop wasting more time to condemn and convince yourself that you are hopeless.

You are hopeless only because you choose to be. If every other person can get over their issues, what is so DIFFERENT and SPECIAL about your issues that you must remain like this? EMPOWER yourself. You are not different from anyone else, stop believing you fail somehow because you are destined to be a failure or something.
 
"You are hopeless only because you choose to be."

In a way yes and no lah...

Most women, of whom I came across... they sort of believe that marriage could change something, they got a man of their own, the man will be better... that's what marriage should be, the elevation of relationship...

But marriage is usually the opposite of what women expect. Even if the guys truly love the women, the women may take on a less romantic stance, a more serious stance towards marriage after marriage. And there will have to be adjustments, that's also when love kicks in to oil the difference and produce the buffer to accommodate the changes.

In short... she was expecting the man to be a better man when he formally was hers, or become something called husband. But marriage is not magic... human relationship is just human. If he doesn't truly love you, he'd change... mostly for the worse. Or he may pretend to treat you ok, but start flirting the idea of seeing someone else...

From an ordinary woman's point of view...

Since we come across tons of such blur queens, now Seabliss has to face the reality. And she's lucky probably, because she is facing it right from the start. Which is, she can still choose.

Some women literally gave in to the conformed habit called marriage, self-deny, and come up with the usual line: All men suppose to be like that...

When it's not true that all men are like that.

My primary concern with this sort of women is usually...

So, after facing reality, what have they become...? More mature? Grown up? Or more skewed? Become perverted... Are they able to sort out what is the most important thing in a relationship (aka the man she is seeking)?

Seabliss still gives me the impression, from a psychological point of view... that she is not yet changing. It's very obvious from her expressions due reactions.

The consolation... Most women are like her.

Seabliss, do take some time and digest the entries at http://scopettg.wordpress.com It's actually the bible of dealing with relationship. LOL~

In short, she was just another gambler. Most women gamble... when it comes to marriage. They fantasize men and base on their judgement and understanding of men on such fantasies.

Denise80 is one, Chocolate another... live examples.

There is no right nor wrong... It's really can you take it when your stakes are crushed, and what do you do and what do you really want out of this gamble.

Remember, when you chose to marry this man, you deny another man. Which is, if this is not the One, you're in trouble...
 
I wouldn't recommend dating now, I'm not sure you're emotionally ready for it. And there are too many men out there who will do or say anything to chalk a conquest on the wife/divorcee in distress. And you'd complicate things even more than you already find it hard to handle.

I like dealing with problems one thing at a time, step by step. Leave or stay, be clear in your mind and strong in your conviction. Your choices are simple (not easy) - in this case you either stay or you leave - so you need to decide on that. If you stay, you can try to make it work or you can decide that he is dead to you and you'd live your life separate to his. Or you can leave. Go talk to a lawyer, understand what's involved... initiate the proceeding. Like I said one thing at a time, step by step.
 
Is it necessary to engage a lawyer for the annulment? I don't exactly have much money now. Most threads I read mentioned lawyers.. Just wondering if anyone could enlighten me whether its possible to file without one? I also assume there's no spilting of assets, maintenance fees etc in the case of annulment right
 
No lah, it's some unknown ugly chap. What do you think? LOL~

Anyway, yes yes yes, you DON'T need a lawyer to annul. But you'd need to pay for your own docs and file yourself, get the dates to hear yourself.

Well, if you have no money, go to legal aid. If PAP legal aid won't help, now oppositions are also offering free 'legal clinic'. NSP is offering one, heard RP oso.

If want to annul better be fast, cos drag past a year you'd need separation and alot of 'excuses' to fight the court, then the money may not be so nice...

From the look, your hubby treats you like a free legal sex machine. Will he really release you and lose free fugs in a divorce?

Tat's why, if you want to annul, then do it quick. Otherwise... LOL~
 
scope,,,, "Most women, of whom I came across... they sort of believe that marriage could change something, they got a man of their own, the man will be better... that's what marriage should be, the elevation of relationship... "

yes and no as well. This is something I believe in too... this happens in healthy relationships with the person that we should be with. You term it as the ONE.... I see it as snergy in a relationship. A working relationship is one that brings the best out of the couple naturally. That's why despite the most difficult times, they will be blissful and strong together.
 
Hi.. I brought up the issue of separation with my husband and he flared up big time.. Note, he was out he whole of today, I have no idea where he went. If he was home, perhaps I would have been beaten to death, who knows? Anyway, he called me all sorts of nasty names like "lao cb", "nutty brain that is empty within", "i'm going to make you feel worst than a dog", "i'm going to teach you a lesson to make sure you behave".

I can't believe all this words my husband said..
 
pink, you should go to stay at your parent's place or your sibling's since u have already brought up the issue.

Dun put yrself in a potential hotspot.
 
Clark is right, protect yourself. What is the point of bringing it up repeatedly when you do not have yet a plan. His reactions shouldn't surprise you anymore frankly.

Next time, he calls, probably u should record all these. Evidence of verbal abuse and intimidation.
 
Pink

I hope he does not beat u when he comes home drunk. And I hope you will not be there to receive any forms of abuse too..

He does not OWN you, even though you are married to each other.

You can't believe? It's staring at you right in the face.

You hesitated making a decision once already, is this going to be the second time?
 
i'm pretty darn sure u're not gonna be leaving him any sooner... and by the time u Think u want to leave him, u will subconsciously find means to stop yourself - get pregnant. and that will be the next time u post.

as much as i hope i'm wrong, but i'm likely to be very right. it's not hard to read into a person n their likely actions. unfortunately just as u are not bothered to surf this forum or google for more information... Many pple are not bothered to put effort in learning abt human psychology n behaviour... unless there's an exam or some monetary reward.

your disappearance meant u went ahead with the marriage. your reappearance means u need an outlet again. when u feel that there's enough pressure from the forum, u will disappear again and we'll see u when u are preggy and he doesn't come home.

u will come back around 4mths into your pregnancy n start lamenting further problems that Everyone already farking expects. he will not be home for long periods til u discover him having an affair. then we will have pple, ladies especially giving u farked up advice abt how the baby is innocent n u have to keep it, as u envision being a mum to take focus away from your marital problems.

i'm telling u Now... Dun U Farking Get Pregnant. Your life is farked as it is, but it is always women like u who farkup your life further becos u put so much focus on 1 relationship n 1 man.

If u dun even know how to appreciate how precious life is, how beautiful a future can be IF ONLY u take charge... then pls dun put yourself in a position to teach. u are no different from the 65yr-old uncle teaching me abt life when he has achieved farkall for most of his life. age does not determine your credibility nor wisdom...

so seriously, stop wasting pple's time asking abt annulment, divorce and all that bullshit.

if u were serious, u would have surfed it without expecting this thread to be an information counter... u have done farkall to find out. Am i to be convinced as naively as the other forummers here that u are really keen to USE the information?

it is merely idle talk to 'appear bothered'.

99% chance i'm gonna be right again. whether i am cocky or not doesn't matter... i'm not the one farking up your life.

u have resigned early in your life.
 
Clark,

OMG! Are you GAY?!!!! LOL~

Milo Meelo,

That's the theory of perfect relationship, bring out the best bla bla bla.

Women are women not only becos they have cunts and boobs... They are women mainly becos they think rather... differently. Most of them are like tat.

Say...

There are women who once married will choose to stay in a marriage no matter there isn't true love and their knights appear. There are also women who choose to marry becos they think their versions of love is ok, that those men are so nice... bla bla bla... but when their main motive is get to the next stage called marriage.

There are many many women who, once they met someones, then they conveniently develop 'relationship' for the purpose of marriages, which is... no matter what they isolate themselves from other choices again, and ignore all the pitfalls even if there are clues.

Men are made differently, marriage is a lifelong challenges as changes come... It's not a synergy, it's really about love.

Women... LOL~

Seabliss darling,

You DON'T need his consent or agreement to annul lah... Even when it comes to divorce, though in divorce, you might need to drag for a formal process.

Well...

My advice is very very simple: Go to legal aid and seek proper legal advice, and the steps to do the annulment.

Don't come here to ask for legal aid... Who the fug will provide responsible FREE service?

Darling, we are ALL strangers! LOL~

Keep that in mind.
 
Powder,

I know you want her to annul, it's like a reverse psycho thing. But... We can only talk about the 'facts' and the hard inflexible parts of her case. As for real assessment of her husband, it's all about her.

Women... if you must know, have very elastic memories and logic... to suit their desires or goals at time.

If she is really down, we'd support her, but... I am not exactly sure it's a right thing to intend for her to annul. She'd have to make her own decision, we only present her (Eg.) choices...

And help her as much as possible.

Who knows...? Maybe the husband really loves her, but he's bad with expression, or he is trying to try out 'Wife Control Method' the elderly taught him?

What we know now is, Seabliss is not happy... And... both of them have very obvious and serious communication issues. She thot the man was good, now bad... So she really has to annul...

But as women are... don't need to force them.

Women's logic... is no logic at all, especially when it comes to relationship.
 
why the fark are u addressing me when u still need to fark to find a woman?

u're in denial yourself as much as u think u know women... u only know enough to get them to bed.

why not just setup an altar with a mould of your cock, pray to it and sleep hugging a pillow that is made to look like your cock?

pls dun try to develop any links to me by talking to me. stay away from associating with me.

i meet twice the pretty girls u meet your entire life, if not triple... n i'm being humble here. i dun have to sleep with them to find myself or my wife at all.

u should have a 35inch dick so that u can star in your own porn and go fark yourself. u narcisissitic piece of penis.
 
Getting too cocky for your own good, Powder Mini. LOL~

Yawns...

Look at the 'Meet twice the pretty girls than Scope meets in his entire life' lecturing Seabliss.... is so funny.

LOL~

You meet so many pretty girls, why still talked like a moron to Seabliss, Cocky Cock?

LOL~

You made me laugh.
 
"so seriously, STOP WASTING pple's time asking abt annulment, divorce and all that BULLSHIT.

if u were serious, u would have surfed it without expecting this thread to be an information counter... u have done farkall to find out. Am i to be convinced AS NAIVELY AS THE OTHER FORUMMERS here that u are really keen to USE the information?

it is merely idle talk to 'appear bothered'.

99% chance i'm gonna be right again. whether i am COCKY or not doesn't matter... i'm not the one farking up your life.

u have resigned early in your life."

Associate with you, Powder Mini?

LOL~

Who the fug do you think you are? LOL!!!!!

You still remember this is a forum... and Seabliss was asking as of the topic provides.

Moron... LOL!!!

Oh I see... this is how you understand women... after seeing twice as much pretty cunts than ole Scope has... LOL!!!

Powder kiddo, you think Scope is born yesterday?

Go find some hole and hide lah...
 
Scope, confirm i am not gay.
I am happily married to my spouse with my kids.
Plus no gay fetish whatsoever.

I just know a good thing when i see one.

you are Dangerously Handsome !
 
wah lau, guys...hw are we suppose to make this forum a place where ideas / advice can be freely exchanged ?

Make love, Not War.
(ie. pls dun fark here, fark there. Genitals start to come out already, we have sammyboy for this)
 
LOL~

Anyway, Powder Mini needs to grow up. He was right Seabliss may need to annul but he got the reasons all messed up.

Seabliss needs to grow up too. And it'd be by her own choice, hence her understanding of why her choice that she'd annul.

She married blindly, I don't want her to annul blindly as well. She has to grow up.

'Bad boy' look... girls told me I have such that sort of look, but I am actually not that bad lah...
 
this coming from someone that stalked for years with 700 over posts throwing insults.

Soisuka is no where to be seen with her bad advise months ago. Not difficult to understand the frustration.

I suggest to focus in directing help to Peekaa instead of fanning one's ego and trashy talk. Endless self praises is no praise. 'bad boy' look... my gosh.

Peekaa...
"so seriously, stop wasting pple's time asking abt annulment, divorce and all that bullshit.

if u were serious, u would have surfed it without expecting this thread to be an information counter... u have done farkall to find out. Am i to be convinced as naively as the other forummers here that u are really keen to USE the information?

it is merely idle talk to 'appear bothered'"


this is spot on. How much of the feedback gets through or do you choose to filter again and come back later?
 
i'm fine as long as scope dun try to link any of his posts to me, nor address me or try to be frenly frenly with me... pple like that... u give them an inch and they will bite u when they have the chance.

"She married blindly, I don't want her to annul blindly as well."
- this statement is fundamentally very flawed if u bother to read a few more times and envision what the joker is really saying.

the guy is an idiot and i dun have to be nice to an idiot who is in the forum to trawl for women and justify his farked-up existence.

if u walked blindly and fell into a hole. should u even consider whether u should blindly climb out of the hole?

trying to sound smart is ok if u're dating 19yr-old ah lians... but dun assume everyone operates with the same low-level mentality.
 
Clark,

Peekaa is the TS aka pinkseabliss aka peekaa09.

Once again, something not needing much to verify.
Referring to her initial post July 01, 2012 - 5:11 pm.
Peekaa A (peekaa09)
New member
Username: peekaa09

Post Number: 1
Registered: 7-2012
 
Peeka aka Pink,

I and just like lots of others that had tried to discourage you to get married but unfortunately you were not able to call it off and is suffering for a very bad decision which probably had appeared as a much easier action to do at that point in time.

Hopefully this time reading what Scope, Milo, Powder etc has written you do make a wiser choice. You have already found out that no action is not always the best action. You made a mistake by marrying, are you going to carry on this mistake? This is a question only you can answer. Should you decide that you want to stay in this marriage then made sure you are prepared to deal with more SHIT. If you end it now, at least you have a chance of meeting someone that will love you. But do not make the decision base on the idea that you WILL find a new love. Make the decision that you WILL have a much better life without him!

You are lucky that in this internet age, you could seek advice and hear lots of opinion and people that are able to give you the support and courage to walk out of your marriage. I did not have that privilege. NEVER get pregnant thinking that it will save your marriage! He is what he is, he will not change even if his life depends on it! When you have kids you will find another excuse to stay in a rotten marriage. Get out of it before he destroys you as a person.

He probably has very low self esteem which is why he is putting you down constantly. My ex never has a good word to say about how I look. He totally destroyed my self confidence in my 22yrs of marriage. Do you want to be in my shoes when you don't have to be. Just like you, I am consider very good looking (with a fantastic figure) by most people but my ex has said I looked like shit. Seriously??? I can look back and laugh now but not when I was still in it.

My divorce has just been concluded after a long 3yrs battle (not because of assets but he just can't handle the fact that I filed for divorce). I have been threatened with divorce by him for a long time and vulgarities was a daily dosage during the last 5 years before I finally filed. Anything that goes wrong is my fault, according to my ex. I have been labelled stupid, slut and never reflects on my mistake etc. So you can see that your marriage is only going to get worse not better. Marriage takes 2 person to make it work and if you think that as long as you try and please him then everything should work? WRONG! Even to this day, my ex still doesn't think that he has done anything wrong neither will your husband... hahaha.

I felt really very stupid for quite a while. Beating myself up a lot on why did I subject myself to all these abuses and didn't get out. Hindsight is always 20/20. The first thing you have to do is acknowledged that you have made a mistake then deal with it. It is way worse knowing you have made a mistake and yet still carry on with the mistake.

Should you not want to move out you may want to file a Personal Protection Order against him. Verbal abuse is also abuse but it is more difficult to prove. Have your mobile ready at all times to record his abuses. FYI: Locking a person in is considered abuse but NOT when you locked HIM out :P

Lastly... learn to love yourself!!!
Your partner must add value to your life.
You MUST feel loved (else why have a partner??)
 
wah lau, milo...you are very contradicting.

When someone has changed her nick, address her accordingly.

But i shall refrain myself. Let others see you for who u are.

Haizzz....i dun know what to say.
 


Pink, it is not late to take another path in life. Once u do so, it is the start of a new beginning.

But u need to also remember, nobody owes you a living. Take control !
 

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