Can a marriage survive without SXX? Please help to advise.


Lee,

Curiousity kills the cat. You want to be the cat or to be killed? LOL~

I already said what is needed for this case.

In anycase, the TS Tina obviously is more aware than Denise80 but still cautious, Denise80 is way too lax...

The One, the One... the One who you'd love forever and ever... LOL~
 
scope,

Just to confirm with you, fat and ugly milo actually stalked you and paste your photo on other sites for others to see ??????

Please tell me this is not true !
 
Clark,

Yeah, this Milo is really 'interesting'.

BTW... who the fock ban me back then eh???

Milo,

Sure or not it wasn't you???

Ended up I become wat Auntie Lucy II... Waliao~
 
Clark,

There was one focker who did that, and I roughly recall it's conveniently Milo...

Maybe indeed me horny memory is fading.

Last time Milo also called me gay. This one I remember. LOL~
 
Fat, ugly and like to stalk pple Milo,

You register only 2 years earlier than me but u have 20 times more posts than me.

That's a lot of CRAP u have been dishing out.

either SHUT UP or GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS FORUM !
 
Scope, I'm sure. If you don't believe, go dig out the archives and find it.

btw, how could I ban you? I'm not the administrator.
Now you have made 2 groundless accusations.
 
Yeah, Milo, I agree that everyone's relationship is unique and I guess how confident I am about my marriage isn't what others can quite understand. In fact, a long time ago, I've mentioned before that I'm so confident abt my marriage that even if my hubby 'eats outside', I know it's not going to involve the 'heart'..meaning it's purely to satisfy that animal instinct. I doubt that's being blindly optimistic, Scope. In short, I've identified that humans err for a matter of fact. But that doesn't mean for everything we dislike abt our partner means it raises alarm that a marriage is likely to fail...an overly paranoid partner isn't what any man is keen to have to. As a matter of fact, both of us had strayed before when in relationships with someone else (not with each other tho) and despite that or I should say because of that experience, I know for sure that we wouldn't stray even if we lose that sexual appeal for one another (I don't mean zero sex in this case of course).
 
what scope is trying to say is that u need to understand a guy POV instead of relying from a female prospective.

GUYS NEED SEX....pure and simple.
 
Ah....fat, ugly and like to stalk pple Milo,

why u keep editing yr post over and over again ?????

Are u confused too !
 
Denise80,

Ha! That explains...

That really explains why... But Tina is different. I don't think she'd love her hubby to the point that...

"You can eat outside, no heart involved..."

Gosh...

How the huat can you even say that... I mean, who in the right mind huat without feeling anything???

LOL~

But... I clearly don't think multi-date is 'straying'. Whatever it is, wait till he really 'eat outside'... with or not the heart.

By the way, I despise teachers doing so... gals or guys.

You are reminding him of a jerk who focked his student reported recently (eg) at a NTUC club and then... maybe he goes home and her wife read the news...

"Oh, you focked the student for your animal instinct nia... no heart involved is ok..."

Denise80, I feel like vomitting... ... Serious.

This is not love, Denise80. There is no romance... this is like... a system.
 
Scope Guy,

Well, Curiousity is also the spark for most of the inventions and improvements in our life. I am sure you too would rather be a curious dead cat than a frog in the shallow well who is unwilling to venture out and see the world.

"The One, the One... the One who you'd love forever and ever... LOL~" -from Hopeless Romance. Does this only applies to you while all the other guys are not in the category? It seems you have this concept but correct me if i am wrong.
 
Lee,

I rather be the frog after you saw the world... LOL~

If when seeing the world makes the world zombies... why not be a frog?
 
Scope, are you in a love relationship with my hubby? No? I'm the one who married him and I guess whether it's love or not, it's mine and his definition of it. Your love may be perfect, flawless, lots of sex, communication even till you age beyond 50 and that's 'The One' for you...so...have you met one yet? Are you currently in a blissful marriage? Or...is this why you rather be single because your marriage world is ideal? Lee, I perfectly now understand why you said he's one full of contradiction. He kept saying 'The One' then turned around to say I'm blindly optimistic. I think he's still waiting for 'The One'..maybe wonderwoman will be fitting. And scope, you don't have to cite ridiculous examples of 'straying' to be involved with students etc - I think you are making yourself puke with your extreme examples which are uncalled for.
 
Denise80,

I am beginning to realise... yours is not love, yours is just a system called marriage.

That's why I feel something is odd when you relate to Tina.

How about wait till your hubby really has a sweet young thing, then we revisit this again.

But you are right... I am after perfection... sort of. But there is nothing contradictory.

Now... I really am interested to know... given someone so much in love with marriage, what would happen if... if that happens. LOL~

Denise80, I am very good at picking such things from mortals.

And seriously, I have been wondering what kind of wife was that jackass teacher got...

Marriage is a commitment... but based on love. And love drives a man's brain to produce sexual drives.

To each on, I am for love, not a friendship with casual sex, and you are obviously for marriage.
 
Scope: And I am for love and marriage - not pure sex but a healthy friendship, companionship and reasonable dose of sex. As of now, friendship and companionship score high on my cards while dose of sex scores lower, which frankly I'm fine with that frequency if not for our need to have babies. I don't separate love and marriage which you seem to do. You seem to have an assumption that marriage is the death of a love relationship? Also, what jackass teacher? My hubby's a businessman - eh...did you get your facts wrongly or you were referring to someone else? You referred to us as mortals...so what makes you? An immortal? The last I know, immortals do not even fall in love. They are busy saving the world that love to them is a spirtual kind of love, something of higher order. Did you actually view love that way?
 
"I've mentioned before that I'm so confident abt my marriage that even if my hubby 'eats outside', I know it's not going to involve the 'heart'..meaning it's purely to satisfy that animal instinct..."

Darling, your husband may be a businessman, but you are a teacher.

No no no no, I am the one who merge love and marriage together. Yours is purely marriage, or the love of it. I have never known someone who loves a man and willing to have his man focking outside knowing it's not about the heart.

Or... have I misread you again?

But you are right, love is also spiritual to me. And it is an honor.

No. I am not assuming that marriage is the death of love... rather, I am assuming your love is more for the marriage than the man.

You don't seem to understand Tina and you are different... Tina understands man, while you imagine man. See, Denise80?

And you are already deciding for your man... which is obviously a communication issue that you don't realise.

Love is... you don't increase sex frequency for production... Sex is an erotic attainment based on love. See?
 
Well, Scope, I can only say all the best to your search for 'The One' with your high definition of spiritual love. I have found mine and period, albeit the sex part can improve. And no, I didn't say Love is about increasing sex frequency for production. I only associated sex and babies-making, something which is biologically proven (unless you failed foundation level in Science). And therefore, I've never suggested using babies as a reason to improve sex frequency. I'm looking to other means and ways to spice things up in the bedroom. Your type of love is of such high order that sex comes naturally without even considering the current reality of work stress etc. The very fact that you're not in a marriage makes me doubt your words and opinions. When I made that statement that I'm confident abt my marriage and that if my hubby eats outside, I'll know it's a pure physical affair and not due to affairs of the heart is never indicative of my willingness to have my man having sex outside. I'm not insane. I've only said that to illustrate that I'm not blindly optimistic abt marriage. The part of 'straying' in a relationship in the past is not up for u to judge who's right who's wrong or if it's highly immoral that we focked some students or what. Your imagination is running too wild. If I imagine a man, you must be imagining your 'The One'! Mind listing all the qualities 'The One' posseses? Or rather, your qualities that qualify you to own 'The One'? I'm not seeking for perfection like you, so is my hubby.

Yes, I don't understand Tina because I don't feel that sex can bond a marriage forever. It takes more than that.

And our channels of communication are more open than anyone would imagine because my hubby reads everything I post here and we just had an interesting discussion over the posts here as we had our Mac dinner.
 
You have an interesting way of reading...

Baby is a by-product of love, not the other way round.

Being a teacher, I expect something better. Whether I am married or not is not the issue for your doubt.

The point is very simple, you are not the first couple I have seen who behave 'that friendly' to each other but failed.

LOL~

I know you are not insane, but... like I used to say something about love... it's not about spicing things up. Yours is a system you believe in, mine... is what you are calling 'that high definition of love'.

Know why I didn't really bother about Lee's queries? He's most probably thinking like you, and probably looking to fight out a belief he himself won't be carrying.

To each own... if you think you have no problem, then let it continues. And hi to your hubby. LOL~
 
Scope Guy,

Since you stereotype that all man will stray once a chance is given with the exception for you, who will be all faithful to your 'the One', I don't find the need to convince you about me and some others who will say no if the chance is given. And Well at least i have a belief to hold on to and I can only tells you the results when I die.

But you do sound like a friend of mine who given all his heart once before to a girl who later cheated on him, annul the marriage and left with another man. He didn't believe in being faithful afterwards and even proud to say that his wife somewhat knows and it's ok that he frequents commercial sex places.

By the way, have you seen any successful marriage that coincides with your 'the one' theory? Or in general a blissful marriage of love?
 
Lee,

You still didn't read carefully.

Your first line is already wrong. When have I stereotype that all man will stray once a chance is given... with the exception of me?

I did say, without love, once the chance is given, man could stray.

I am amused at how you people read.
 
Scope: Well, I guess as much as you had 'forewarned' me and others here about 'wait till your hubby goes for a sweet young thing', then we revisit the problem...I think I'll say, wait till you're blissfully married with kids and continue to have mind-blowing sex and perfect communication, we reserve our opinions on your 'idealistic perception of love, sex and marriage'.

I don't know...I just feel that way you classified all men as having that animal instinct and that they think with their other heads when it comes to woman, gf or wife is rather demeaning. It almost sounds like a teenage boy who tried to bed a teenage girl by telling her that "If you love me, you'll have sex with me" - huh?
 
And maybe to just answer Tina's thread topic on whether a marriage can survive without sex, my answers will as follows:

1. Love is not all about sex. That being said, there must be some forms of intimacy. It can be kissing, hugging, cuddling one another to sleep but not necessarily a home run. Or, IMHO, home runs need not be of high frequency if both really don't feel like it.

2. Other than these acts of intimacy, there must be good communication about anything in life, work, family, household chores, personal goals in life, the most mundane topics such as movies, music, shopping etc.

3. Other than good communication, it's important that couples continue to carry out meaningful activities together. My hubby and I would cook together, do laundry together, exercise together, watch a concert etc...

Of course, to Scope, he had an entirely different opinion. He feels strongly that all men have their sexual needs and without which, a marriage will soon lead to failure when the men start to look for some sweet young thing.
 
"I can UNDERSTAND perfectly Denise80 from a woman's point of view. But she doesn't seem to understand the 'basic instinct' of men... I believe in love, but I also believe in science, not to mention... I myself am a man.

It's never the most important point in a marriage... until a sweet young thing comes by."

You did meant the same thing in these sentences. And you never believe in love when anyone tells you so. I doubt you can recognize one when you actually see it. I too wish you good luck in search of 'the one' because you really needed it.
 
Hahahahahahahahaha...
Hahahahahahahahaha...
Hahahahahahahahaha...

Denise80, everyone is a saint before they met the demon.

It's the same for Lee.

What else do you expect me to say? LOL~

It's like you go to a fortune teller, the poor chap told you about bad things to come, you refused to listen claiming...

"You are not rich like me, you have no credentials to tell me all those..."

Hmm... ...

So young, Denise80... and sex is an issue.

Well well well, like I said, you have your system called marriage, I am for that 'high definition of love'.

Just know that sex for man is really about the brain, if he loves you truly... sex will never be a problem. Don't come tell me about stress... Men have sex to de-stress, we see that everywhere.

What you now need is a sweet young thing coming into your man's life... LOL~

Whatever I said won't be important. So... you are now on the roller. And good luck.

As for Tina... if she has married her One, it shouldn't be a problem. If that is not her One... Hehehe~

You are a teacher, and you can't differentiate between 'if you love me, you'd have sex with me' and 'if I love you, my brain will move my dick into you...'. LOL~

Please, Denise80...
 
Lee,

Do you have a habit of reading only one piece of an elephant to tell people an elephant is an horny penis?

LOL~

I am afraid I am fated to fail... But it's ok.
 
Scope Guy, well you only talks about how all the animals in the animal kingdom mates with each other, so that's the only message that I have picked up.

And really, third time I am asking, have you actually seen a blissful marriage of love before?
 
Lee,

You really should learn from that frog in the well.

LOL~

I talked alot of things than mating... and you only picked up the mating part. Typical male instinct. LOL~
 
Scope Guy,

For the record, you are the one with the typical male instinct.

Well, fourth time asking, have you actually seen a blissful marriage of love before?
 
Lee, glad to know you're a man and you don't have the typical male instinct.

Scope, you said work stress is a lousy excuse for saying no to sex. In the first place, I didn't say my hubby's reason was work stress. Work stress is most probably my reason and if you have to wake up every 6am in the morning, I see how you perform every night in bed (or maybe you really can lol). My hubby's reason is plain and simple. When we first started out, it was curiosity and novelty. Now it's just comfort and I wholly agree with that and see nothing wrong (except when the frequency doesn't help to produce babies - science).

In fact, even if you have seen a blissful marriage, it's highly subjective. I was discussing with my hubby about my sister and her hubby. In my eyes, I'm communicating way better in my marriage compared to hers and my hubby highlighted one fact and that is, love is in the eyes of the beholder. I may see my sister as 'suffering' but she might be totally enjoying it in her marriage with my bro-in-law. How true. Marriage is more than sex, Scope, and if you're still single, this could be the reason. You deem marriage as a system and that you covet the higher order of love (with high quality sex of course). Well, there's nothing wrong with your pursuit but you shouldn't write off those in marriage as being in a loveless relationship just because their sex life isn't as fantastic as before.

And for goodness sake, no matter how you disrespect my career, pls don't keep mentioning that I'm a TEACHER so I should know this and that. I'm sure most of us here are educated and are mature adults with our own opinions. Just because I'm a teacher and think differently from you doesn't say less about my ability in my job.
 
Scope Guy,

That's not being childish, I am pretty sure that those who looks for a blissful marriage must have seen one themselves and I am not talking about the romances you find in movies or books. Please see the examples:

Denise, have you seen a blissful marriage of love before?
 
Scope, the fortune teller analogy isn't a good one. Firstly, if I go to a fortune teller, I take bad advice very readily and prepare myself for it and the reason is simple. If I had decided to listen to his advice, of course I trust the person and will be receptive. Besides, I only trust a fortune teller who could tell me at least three things about my life that no one else would be able to. So far in our discussions here, I don't really see eye to eye with your inputs...why would I even want to take your 'advice' which was presented to me like a threat/curse that says, "Wait till your hubby lands himself a sweet young thing"? If your fortune teller tells you that you gonna die tomorrow, will you bed one hundred woman today? Or, will you start spending all your wealth away? Yes, that's how I perceive your inputs so far - implausible, dubious and unfathomable.
 
Lee: Like I've said, it's very subjective. I wouldn't say I've seen a blissful marriage before but I know what I want in a blissful marriage and I'm in one right now.

A blissful marriage is wholly defined by the two married couples who are in it, not by others I feel. It's about matching one another's needs. As long as I feel both our needs are matched in the marriage, it is a blissful one. To the bystanders, they think we are blind but we think they are short-sighted. It's that simple. One has to be realistic. A marriage is NOT without its ups and downs - couples straying, having conflicts, in-law problems etc. But all I've read so far mainly from Scope's discussions were about sex and love. To him, young couples must have a lot of sex in a marriage or the man will stray (given the chance). What kind of logic is that?
 
Denise,

Thats what I am trying to ask him, people who wants to find 'the one'(in his version) should already either seen one or know somewhere out there, there is this one person that will fit his own version of blissful marriage. Or else talking about it will only sounds like fairytales.

Scope Guy,

What your version of blissful marriage of love since you are looking for it?
 
scope,

are we talking about denise and not albee? i don't really see her beautifying her marriage but more like she is handling it the positive way intelligently. highly doubt this since denise had posted minor problems between her and her husband before.
 
Well I just celebrated my first year anniversary with my wife. ROM but wedding dinner will only be next year. My version of blissful marriage is the subconcious need to care for my wife and make her feel happy and to know that she feels the same. It feels like she is family, a friend, a companion and a lover at the same time. Conflicts are expected but as long as we listen to each other, it would be fine. It is not about sex all the time but we get enough usually. (sex frequency decreases in the past weeks because we are playing with our new ipad2. But that's ok because it will pick up again as and when). Other things didn't really matters just like how you would treat a family member, or friend. The list goes on...

Although, scope guy might want to kill me, I still would want to know. What is your version of blissful marriage Scope Guy?
 
Yeah, I think my version of marriage is similar and that Iphone (for us is Iphone) is indeed sometimes getting in the way (I'm guilty of that too haaaa). I do take my hubby as a family, friend, companion and lover too. We still have our kiddy moments where we tickled one another, poke fun of each other or the lovey dovey time when we communicate after each time we made love, or the serious times when we communicated seriously after each squabble etc. We have open channels of communication and when conflicts arise, we'll write to one another to resolve it. This is the time of quality of communication I'm talking about, not the type where I jumped to conclusions that he's hiding a woman behind my back just becos frequency of sex has diminished. For a hubby who takes time and effort to whip up meals for me and my family frequently and who willingly share household chores (yes, not to be taken for granted), I think I'm blessed.

So like you, Lee, I'm now curious about Scope's version of a blissful marriage too.
 
Hi denise,

In regards to baby-making, frequency is not the key. The timing of sex, a healthy egg and the concentration of healthy sperms is more important.

A woman's egg can only survive one day after she ovulates and a man's sperms can survive about 5 days inside a woman.

You have only 24hrs after ovulation to hit jackpot, it's not as easy as it seems. I use an ovulation kit to help me. It works very well, my 1st BB conceived in 4 mths, my 2nd BB in 2 mths.

I also asked hubby not to have sex nearing the week of ovulation to ensure maximum concentration of sperms 2 days before my ovulation day.

So this answers your question, you no need frequent sex to have BB, only need to do it in the correct time frame with good concentration of sperms.

Happy BB making!
 
Blissful marriage?

Marriage to me is merely a system, a commitment by law. There is no such thing as blissful commitment by law, or a beautiful system... LOL~

What will last hence is only love. But most said love fades, love needs spice up, bla bla bla... that is not the love I want.

It's ok to say I aim for a fairy tale. But realistically speaking...

I want a fairy tale, that's why. Why settle for second best? I do not get married for the sake of marrying... such as "Oh, I found someone neat enough, probably ok and decent enough to marry, so I am age X, I have plenty of money, let tie the knot, settle down, bla bla bla..."

Denise80 still don't get the 'logic'. But it's ok.

So if anyone asked me what is blissful marriage... I see no point... because a quarreling couple can be also loving deep deep the other and vice versa. To me, marriage is merely a system. And many simply play the role, happily pretend that they are in love, and play along, get a kid, and... yeah.

Marriage is not a relationship between a man and woman, it's just laws.

Chocolatte, I have totally forgotten about Albee's case. LOL~ Sorry.
 
Well, by your definition here, we are refering marriage as love, not the legal side of it. Love is like life, i hope it is never constant because that means i will get the climax from time to time. It is good to think of a fairy tale, but there is no second best or first best person. It is only finding right one that suits you.

I think Denise is managing just fine as long as the hubby is fine with it and as long as we don't generalise him with all men will stray theory. Do look at for signs, but if there is none then i wouldn't even try to imagine things.
 


Lee,

I am only committed to love, not marriage. That's why love can fade for many, but not for me.

It's really the order of things. People can claim their marriage is love as well, but many end up stuck in loveless marriage because of that belief.

I believe you are still in your honeymoon. Dear, you still have a long long time ahead. LOL~

For me... I doubt I'd find that one who suits me, especially in Singapore. What I am looking for is perfection... not that she must be absolute beauty, but the relationship must be. She must also be committed to love... not marriage.
 
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