Brother passed away 1 month after ROM

[ching_gal]

Hi everyone

I would like to share on some problems and would like to have some advice on what to do.

My elder brother just passed away last week, due to an accident. He recently ROM in June and his customary wedding was planned for in October.

His wife, whom only got together with my brother in march this year, got engaged a month later.

Our family does not know the reason behind his sudden death, as the wife was driving beside him during the time of the accident.
Right now there is a struggle between my parents and the in-laws on my brother's estate.
During the times when he was in the ICU and at the wake/funeral, his wife/in-laws were taking actions on his insurances and assets (property + investments)behind our backs, without discussing or informing. The family showed no sorrow or grief. This has distressed our family as we are still grieving over the loss of my brother.

His wife has expressed that she wants to keep everything that my brother has and would generously give 50% of the assets to my parents.
Although they are legally married in Singapore Law, our family felt that she was not behaving right as a wife should be.

We are not challenging her rights as the wife, but it pains us to see that my brother's life lost brings out the worst side of a person.
Is there any way I can do to protect my parents and let my brother rest in peace?

We've met the lawyers and it seems to be a lost cause as in the Singapore Law, the wife takes precedence over the parents. His wife also refuses to cooperate with my family, not allowing us to be a co-administrator for his assets.

I am lost and have no directions, only able to watch my parents cry over my brother's misfortune.

I hope that someone here may share their opinions.


** I am also appealing for witnesses on the accident that happened on 12 July'12, between 6.20pm to 6.35pm in the CTE tunnel before Havelock Road exit towards city. Please contact me or the police directly. **

Thank you.

 

[sparkling_eyes]

Hi Debbie,

First of all, i'm so sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences for you and your family.

In this case, although i think that the wife could have done things in a much better way, she still in fact gave your parents 50% of your brother's assets. Your parents are already somewhat "protected" in that sense?

 

[scopefun]

If I were the wife, I'd just take everything.
It's true, since they are legally married, the wife takes everything.

I think your family is just green-eyes...

 

[60secs]

Women's charter brings out the worse side of a women.

 

[ching_gal]

Well, I've checked the intestate Succession law... My parents legally have the right to his assets of 50%.

http://app2.ipto.gov.sg/IPTOServices/PublicTrustee/DistributionofEstatesofDeceasedPersons/tabid/486/Default.aspx

Her generosity isn't as sincere as she says.

 

[scopefun]

Sue your lawyer who says is lost cause... LOL~

 

[ning87]

the wife seems to be abit unemotional from the way she handled things, but u must remember that everyone grieves differently.

from what i understand from my mother, the minute when someone dies, u have to hurry up and clear the affairs. because if u let it drag too long, the state will drag ur estate and all ur insurance etc etc until kingdom come. (thats why she tells us where all the insurance docs are in case one day *touch wood*, we will know where to find it and execute)

but, since they are legally married, i would think that.. she is entitled to his possession. =( sorry for the loss of ur brother..

 

[uglydude]

Your brother did not write a will so tough luck....beside when $$$ comes into play...the ugly side of humans will be exposed...

 

[landoflord]

Without a will, its tough to win this case. Plus she already going to give 50%. So under the law there isnt anything u can fight for. I do believe ur bro would also want to leave sth to her wife.

 

[the_giving_tree]

Debbie, my condolences to you over the lost of your brother. As your brother did not leave a will, it will be tough to fight over his assets with his wife. Maybe a lawyer can help?

For your own emotional health and that of your parents' as well, it might be better to just let go and move on. I know it is easier said than done. But it is going to be emotionally draining to fight over your brother's assets with his wife. For your own sanity and well being, it may be better to just let go.

Take care.

 

[darknight]

May be the other side also worried that you will not give anything to her who has MARRIED your brother.
She is willing to give 50% of the assets to your family which I think she is not evil or greedy. What do you want? For her to give everything back to your family?
By law or maybe by the will of a husband, I think it is only logical for the husband to leave 50% of his assets to the wife. right?
So, in either way, I think it is only good to let it go. it would only be emotionally hurting to keep fighting over it. Just my thoughts.

 

[tiffany85]

I totally agree that everyone grives differently. Cannot judge a person based on whether they are crying at a funeral anot. And in the eyes or law, married means married. Doesnt matter for how long. And your brother married her KNOWING that at least 50 percent of wat he has is hers.

I agree to take the 50 percent, let it go.. Follow the law as there are reasons for every law set.

 

[aaronbenlim]

Hi Debbie, I'm actually an acquaintance of Ben. I'm very sorry about what is happening right now. My company specializes in estate settlement/disputes and i would like to offer a helping hand to you and your family. Please give me a call if you need help.

Contact Dobby at 96991453 or Aaron at 98772568.

 

[ching_gal]

Hi everyone

Thanks for the comments, just to clarify it was never about the 50% of what's meant and due to her. But its the pain and suffering that our family is going through on our loss and to see that she's focused on attaining his assets without our knowledge. As of now, she's moved on with her life as she posts about her daily affairs on FB.

Anyway what's done, can't be undone.
Thanks again for all the feedbacks.

 

[darknight]

Dear Debbie,
My deepest condolences for you and your family.
Please take care ...

 

[scopefun]

Nowadays, Singaporeans don't marry based on true love, you expect her to be like 孟姜女, travelled miles after miles to the great wall and cried and cried and cried till the wall collapsed?

Hey! That was many many dog years ago.

Husband died, take money, go on with life and find another dick... Marriage is but a piece of paper. And that paper says she is entitled to those money. She happy can oredi.

 

[darknight]

Actually when you look at it, when both only knew each other for less than half a year, how deep can the love be?
On the other hand, it doesn't mean that she has not loved the man before. She did and may be still does. But eventually she will have a new life and fall in love with another, which is normal and healthy.

Well, nowadays, how deep can a person's love for another be? Hard to define.