Before Marriage fear

[scopefun]

Babygirl,

You don't need to bother about me calling those morons morons...

Especially if you are new in this forum, and other forums. They are morons because they are.

They played God, talked rubbish, flame, are judgemental... when it comes to matter of the hearts, they are like zombies. Immature and...

Scold them? Nay~ It's merely a befitting label.

They are mostly... say, closed up souls hiding behind the monitors, fantasizing about relationships, setting laws of their fancy and...

Look, they expect you to listen to them, citing all the big reasons which you already know, telling you to take the view of third party when you obviously can't (which is why you are confused)... bla bla bla...

If reasons can move you, I won't have wasted so much time diverting your attention by using your own words against your psychological defence...

Why do you think I call them morons, not scold... It's call.

They don't care about you. They don't understand. They don't care to understand, and they are very fast and furious shooting off.

 

[scopefun]

Yeah, your profile shows as much...

Hopefully your mum can give you strength and set you in the right direction.

Seriously, baby... the rest is up to you.

You know...

A guy who chooses to make a wife out of a woman he doesn't really love is very evil... because a young woman will grow old.

23yo, you can still choose... provided you know how to wiggle out. LOL~

22yo, very very young indeed, don't have to jump into marriage like that. Try other guys, and know what you really want in your love life.

Time for you to leave this forum, my dear...

 

[miloice]

Hi babygirl,

confused by your reply "I have that trust for him but it was all broken just like a mirror."

You meant, you had trust in him but no more because of the history? Do you still trust him now? What trust u had has already passed. What is your confidence in him to lead a life in the direction you see yourself in the next 3,5,10 and 20 years? A marriage is intended a lifetime. If the only reason why someone is faithful is because their current relationship, then he is very possible to be unfaithful during any crisis period.

Does most gals know what goes on in the night entertainment in SPAs, ktv etc? Its really easy for anyone to cheat frankly. What give their spouses confidence in them is not the lack of opportunity. It is the faith in a person's commitment to the relationship.

 

[a_reader]

Scope
Why should I shut up? 被我咬到你的痛处了？哈哈ï¼Oh why should I have experience with women?? For v long, you don't even know I am male or female and only know how to sprout nonsense.

I was not even addressing my words to you when you are the one who start talking to me. Sorry, I don't intend to continue talking to a moron like you, and I don't need your permission to say anything in this forum.

Babygirl
It's fine, he scolds almost everyone moron in almost every thread he appears. Esp those who disagree with him. You can see he is nice to you, calling you baby only when you don't disagree with him. Once you disagree with him, he will start calling you moron as well.

Well, up to you whether you listen to the rest of the forumers or listen to this moron who claimed to have bedded >100 women, and yet talking about emotional attachment. Beware, he has been in this forum trying to hook a few women by his sweet talk. You will know his style if you have been in this forum long enough.

 

[infojunkie]

"He has constantly tell me into my eyes that, he can only love 1 women and he will treat me good and be there for me. This is the part where i am confused on what to do next."

think u need to get past that... cos it can only make u feel special for this long.

his love for u can die someday u know?

if what u want is a picture perfect love story then he's not for u.

 

[a_reader]

Babygirl
My message (before being constantly interrupted by that moron) is v simple - you are still young, don't rush into things, especially now you have doubts. You have a choice now to assess the situation first before the next move. Things like ROM date fixed or the house are easier to unwind now than if you were to find he does not change for what you have hoped for and end up having to go thru more pains and hassle of divorcing.

No relationship is perfect, but when you are in love with someone, you always think he is the One, else why would you even be in relationship with him. But even couples without issues before married may face issues after marriage. But you already have issues before marriage, so shouldn't you spend more time assessing the situation first?

 

[dancerulez12]

A.Reader,
I just choose a random forum to post my problems and to hear people's view. and i know a person who dont know me maybe able to advise more on this situation which i am facing.

Milo,
I know what does guys do in KTV or Spas because i went and ask my friends. I do think about my future in many years time and i can tell that my current boy will provide me home, good food, and care as a husband.

Like i have said earlier, every thing is good except the flaw about being a flirt.

Maybe you are right, "What give their spouses confidence in them is not the lack of opportunity. It is the faith in a person's commitment to the relationship."

Junkie,
anyway i feel that special for this long only, so once he start to play punk, i will wonder why he even say those to make me feel special and on the other hand doing something else to make me unhappy.

 

[infojunkie]

"i will wonder why he even say those to make me feel special and on the other hand doing something else to make me unhappy..."

well ur man is like a leaking cup...

never full no matter how much love u pour in.

 

[dancerulez12]

Junkie,
To him, i have to constantly shower him love and make him a king while im like the poor maid serving him.

But luckily i am fine with this because it always have been the case whereby i love the guy more than i love myself. This fact hard to change.

 

[bebe77]

babygirl12, you need to appreciate and love yourself more than anyone else. If you dont love yourself, how do you expect other to love, respect you?

 

[infojunkie]

babe, u're only 1/2 rite...

anyway that brings us back to the question of acceptance - what u can accept and what u can't

and i think u're too young to contemplate this (and marriage)... just enjoy ur love life n dun think too much abt the future will do...

 

[bebe77]

True enough, there are no 100% perfect guy but the very basic is he should stay faithful to you as the consequences of not being faithful will lead to many health issues as well.

I dont think by providing food, home, care are good reasons for marrying a guy.

 

[miloice]

Babygirl, your self esteem seems to be a key contributing factor why you would bring yourself to accept his lies and unfaithfulness.

In today context, material provision is hardly relevant. You can achieve them yourself.

 

[scopefun]

A Reader,

When have I tried to hook women in this forum?

Everything you said is nosense.

Moron...

 

[scopefun]

Bebe77,

Many women marry guys because they provide food, home and 'care'. LOL~ Or what do you expect guys to offer when 'love fades'?

Babygirl,

Look at A Reader's lies or defamation about me.

If you are not leaving this forum since the pests have come... just don't let them confuse you.

You will argue round and round and round, then it'd be ROM date.

Take care.

 

[the_giving_tree]

Babygirl,

You said, "Everything is good except the flaw about being a flirt".

Isn't this a BIG issue if you are thinking of marriage? Do you mean to say you don''t mind having a husband who is a flirt? Come on, wake up, baby! And if you think he will change after marriage, I can bet my bottom dollar he will not.

And please, not all men are like that. I have been married to a wonderful man for the last 20 years. Our marriage has lasted this long because we both take our marriage vows seriously.

Why do women want to jump into marriage when all the warning signs are there, right in their face?

 

[darknight]

"If the guy i have can give me everything and everything, but just this flaw alone makes me wonder. Should i give up this 85% of his good because of 15% of his bad? or should i accept it? "

Well, Babygirl I would say it depends on what that is. And whether you can take it or not.

Imagining your husband treats you very well. remember your birthdays, always buy things for you, bring you out for meals, go holidays with you, always tells you that he loves you very much ...
BUT ALWAYS FLIRTS AROUND, SLEEPS WITH OTHER GIRLS, LIE TO YOU ABOUT IT. AND THEN EVENTUALLY HAVE A MISTRESS. OR SOMEONE THAT HE IS SEEING SECRETLY. EVEN AFTER BOTH OF YOU HAVE CHILDREN. THIS CONTINUE TO HAPPEN.

CAN YOU TAKE THIS? JUST BECAUSE OF HIS OTHER "GOODNESS", CAN YOU IGNORE ALL THOSE OTHER THINGS? IF YOU CAN NOW, WHAT ABOUT IN THE FUTURE? THINK HARD ABOUT IT.

 

[miloice]

Remember birthdays... with FB and all the reminders you get on your gadgets, is there a value in remembering dates seriously?

 

[dancerulez12]

Faith,
I know where you are coming from and i have been asking myself constantly whether can i really accept it or not.

I have never met a great guy who is loyal to me all this while and which is why i am having this perception in life and relationship.

 

[miloice]

if your perception is only limited to guys you date, you are blind to the reality that the world is bigger than anyone.

 

[snow_beauty]

Once a playboy is always a playboy. (江山易改 本性難移) u shld hv break off early, pain is better than very pain later when you marry and have kids. My point is a guy like this isnt worth you. You deserve to be with a guy who makes u happy and secured. A guy that doesnt focus on any other girl but you. There is something wrong with him with having another girlfriend.
Be with someone who makes u happy ALWAYS and that doesnt make u second guess your relationship.
Hope this helps

 

[dancerulez12]

Universal,
I always wonder why do such guys worth my love when i know myself i can give more than what i can actually give to the guy i love. But yet, in return i get shit from them.

 

[infojunkie]

my prediction: u will go on to marry him if nothing drastic happens and leave only if he dumps u someday.

sorry if i sound harsh, but u dun look like u're genuinely looking for answers...

u're more interested in asking 'why?'

ur fate is in his hands now.

 

[60secs]

A guy who have experience the thrill of Vietnamese / China /Russian / Thai pussies will never be able to be satisfied with any local women period. The only thing left that can change him is religion.

 

[miloice]

Babygirl, love and relationship is not a formulae. You don't put in X amount and expect something good coming out of it. You choose bottomless pits, everything you throw in get suck into the vacuum.

It boils down to your selection to begin with. If you make the same mistake repeatedly, don't you question is it just your luck or you have stamps stuck on your eyes? Passion, time, energy and youth is limited, give it to someone that is worth your effort not show hand throwing all in to hope. Open your eyes. When you choose to waste your time and effort foolishly, there is nothing to complain, you choose it. Your life your call. Its the harsh truth, you are not a kid, you have to be responsible for your own decisions.

 

[a_reader]

Babygirl
You have been talking for 2 weeks already still undecisive? Thought your ROM is near?

Actually v simple.

Do you mind him sleeping? If you do not mind since you value "he treats you v well in other aspects" more than his sleeping around, then go ahead with ROM.

If you mind his sleeping around but he claims he has stopped already, do you think you can believe him? Do you think he sincerely will stop? Come on, you know him better than any of us here. So it is for you to assess, not for us to tell you. If you believe he will stop, then go ahead with the ROM.

If you mind his sleeping around + you don't believe he will stop, then cancel the ROM.

But hor, do you believe those who have slept around will be able to settle down and be satisfied with only one woman? I guess from this thread, majority of the forummers have given you the answer already.

Marriage is an important decision. Don't rush into it. If you sincerely want to be with this man, give yourself more time to assess him. Else why not look around more? There maybe others who can also give to as much (or more than) what he gives you and minus the sleeping around and minus the lying?

 

[clark]

put X amount into fat, ugly and like to stalk pple and you get STINKO LOAD OF SHIT.

That's a true bottomless pit.

WAH LAU EH

 

[powder]

what an amazingly good post! what will the forum do without your astute thoughts...

 

[clark]

Thanks for agreeing. (you smell the stinko stench too)

You have a good nose for a doggy powder poo.

 

[mirrorcelcius]

take relationship like a job.

what happen when you don't like your job ?