royal_salute
New Member
Doll..
Got your point.. Enjoy ur lunch.. Cheers!! ^^v
Got your point.. Enjoy ur lunch.. Cheers!! ^^v
Anyone can help me?
- Thread starter lost_babe
- Start date
hi Lost babe,
I think the important thing here is not to worry so much, but you should do something to improve your marriage.
Intimacy is part of marriage and without it, problems are bound to happen. Try to show patience and kindness to your hubby more often. You can do this by accepting the 40 days love dare challenge, PM me for more info.
Support Group To Save Marriage - PM me for info
I think the important thing here is not to worry so much, but you should do something to improve your marriage.
Intimacy is part of marriage and without it, problems are bound to happen. Try to show patience and kindness to your hubby more often. You can do this by accepting the 40 days love dare challenge, PM me for more info.
Support Group To Save Marriage - PM me for info
dietcoke07
New Member
Thomas, your profile does not accepts PM...how can we contact you then?
green_tranquility
New Member
Vios,
U watch too much reality shows, Survival hahaha
U watch too much reality shows, Survival hahaha
sgbabydoll
Active Member
No details = no meat. That is why keep advertising the same message.
For those who PM me, I give them website links to know about the 40 days Love Dare challenge and tell them about the support group.
The reasons for not posting the website links here is because moderator might ban my account.
Hope you can understand.
Support Group To Save Marriage With 40 Days Love Dare Challenge - PM me for more info
The reasons for not posting the website links here is because moderator might ban my account.
Hope you can understand.
Support Group To Save Marriage With 40 Days Love Dare Challenge - PM me for more info
Anyone can advise how to get the feeling back again? After the whole incidences, I tried to trust him what he said is true. But our relationship does not like the past.
I wanted to communicate more with him, but he always sit in front of his computer whenever he comes home. I wanted him to spend more time with us, he still did not do any action.
I asked him what happen, he said he is busy with his works, busy dealing with his problem workers, busy thinking of money as there is problem in his company's cashflow. I really don't know whether is he really busy with his works, is he really trouble over the cashflow or something else...
I wanted to communicate more with him, but he always sit in front of his computer whenever he comes home. I wanted him to spend more time with us, he still did not do any action.
I asked him what happen, he said he is busy with his works, busy dealing with his problem workers, busy thinking of money as there is problem in his company's cashflow. I really don't know whether is he really busy with his works, is he really trouble over the cashflow or something else...
Hi Lost_Babe,
It will never be the same and of course, the new path would be difficult.
He could really be busy with his work, maybe let him have some time to work and then asked him to watch TV together later? There are many things you can do together, like going out for late nite coffee? You can also prepare snacks or ice-cream and both of you eat together? (Think You don't have any kids yet rite?)
If you start to keep prompting him to speak to you, may end up disturbing him? Suggest you do give him time to do his things. While he is at work, you do your own things...take things slowly, ok?
If you have decided to trust him, do so....don't let your imagination run wild once things don't turn out to be what you had expected. Not easy but can be done....
It will never be the same and of course, the new path would be difficult.
He could really be busy with his work, maybe let him have some time to work and then asked him to watch TV together later? There are many things you can do together, like going out for late nite coffee? You can also prepare snacks or ice-cream and both of you eat together? (Think You don't have any kids yet rite?)
If you start to keep prompting him to speak to you, may end up disturbing him? Suggest you do give him time to do his things. While he is at work, you do your own things...take things slowly, ok?
If you have decided to trust him, do so....don't let your imagination run wild once things don't turn out to be what you had expected. Not easy but can be done....
How to watch TV together or doing things together? He only comes back 10 something and sits infront of his computer when he comes back. When he finishes his things, already midnight. Everyday working even sundays and holidays.
I am a working mum and I am the one who taking care of 2 kids, bring them to see doctor when they sick, bring them for outing, do housework... He only brings us to work and childcare in the morning and fetches us from my mum's house at night everyday...
I ask him to go out for breakfast with us before he goes to work in the sundays, he said very rush... I ask him to go out with us for a few hours during his works on holidays or sundays, he said he have to supervise the workers... He is the boss leh, why he cannot just take out some time?
When I ask him, he always said why I cannot understand he is busy with his works. I am not asking him to accompany us everyday, I am only just asking him take out some time once a while also cannot.
I am really tired... I feel like I am just a single mum...
I am a working mum and I am the one who taking care of 2 kids, bring them to see doctor when they sick, bring them for outing, do housework... He only brings us to work and childcare in the morning and fetches us from my mum's house at night everyday...
I ask him to go out for breakfast with us before he goes to work in the sundays, he said very rush... I ask him to go out with us for a few hours during his works on holidays or sundays, he said he have to supervise the workers... He is the boss leh, why he cannot just take out some time?
When I ask him, he always said why I cannot understand he is busy with his works. I am not asking him to accompany us everyday, I am only just asking him take out some time once a while also cannot.
I am really tired... I feel like I am just a single mum...
Hi Lost_babe,
Your situation sounds so familiar...my husband also work like that. I have to wake up at 6 everyday to go to work on my own so I also have problems staying awake to wait for him to finish his work, which sometimes ends past midnite. He works on holidays too.
I started getting frustrated with him as I always asked him to spend time with family and kids and he started saying he needs to work and I'm giving him pressure. This goes on yrs! We even stopped talking as he refuses to talk to me or anybody in the household EXCEPT his colleagues and friends.....in the end, we almost divorce.
Things for me have changed slightly now, we would take 1 day leave every other month to spend time together...It takes both of you to work it out. If you tried on your part and he didn't, then no solution. Possible to find a time to talk to him?
Your situation sounds so familiar...my husband also work like that. I have to wake up at 6 everyday to go to work on my own so I also have problems staying awake to wait for him to finish his work, which sometimes ends past midnite. He works on holidays too.
I started getting frustrated with him as I always asked him to spend time with family and kids and he started saying he needs to work and I'm giving him pressure. This goes on yrs! We even stopped talking as he refuses to talk to me or anybody in the household EXCEPT his colleagues and friends.....in the end, we almost divorce.
Things for me have changed slightly now, we would take 1 day leave every other month to spend time together...It takes both of you to work it out. If you tried on your part and he didn't, then no solution. Possible to find a time to talk to him?
Can anybody advise me whether can I talk to my hubby's sister about my relationship with my hubby and my worries? She and her family come to Singapore for holiday and they are staying at my house now. But my worry is that if my hubby knows that I talk to his sister, it will make things worse... All these things I did not tell anyone including my close friends and family and everything I keep it myself, except this forum...
Yesterday, she said that I am very patient wife can tolerate my hubby so busy in works and always come home so late as she also noticed during her stays at my house. She said that in their country(she married to western country), there is a high rate in divorcing if their husbands are so busy, no time with their families. However, she did not know that our problems are not mainly due to his works...
Yesterday was a great chance to talk to her but I didn't...
Yesterday was a great chance to talk to her but I didn't...
smileyclara
New Member
i think there are two other factors- he is having an affair and having erection problem, i read it from her previous posts...
I'm back again...
Now my situation becomes worse...
Whenever I ask my hubby to have dinner with us,he just replied busy. He still continue working till very late. Our communication already breakdown. He seems like keeping a distance away from us. Think he is having financial difficulties. Sometimes there will be letter of demand from the bank. Previously he would drove me to work and my boy to school, but one of the morning few months ago, he said that his car being towed away. Whenever I asked him why he always don't bother, he just reply he is busy with his works and he is having financial difficulties and don't want to talk much.
During this new year, as usual he went back to his hometown without bringing us along. As usual he didn't call me not even a sms. Only when I sms him his son fall down and knocked his head, he just replied monitor 1st. After that, not a call to concern abt his injury. I was so depressed and looked into his email again. I have not looked into his email very long time. I saw 1 email regarding flight reservation return from Penang to Singapore and passengers name are my hubby's name and that girl's (the one who last time he claimed that he was helping her to book as she is having a affair with other guy). Another email is Penang hotel reservation for 2 and the checkout date was the same date as the flight.
I confuse again... If my hubby really helping that girl to book the flight, can the pessenger's name change during the check-in? If really is my hubby who took the flight, what's relationsip is between them?
Can a man having affair at the same time when having finanical difficulties? I really want to know the answer what is the actual reason he is keeping a distance from us, finanical difficulties, having affairs or both?
Another thing is that he said that his car being towed away as owed a few month's installment, but I saw 1 summon regarding parking without season coupon???
My hubby's sis also finds that he is not only keeping a distance from us, also from her and my FIL...And when I sms her that I found out the emails again, she was very angry and asked me for that girl's telephone no as she wanted to talk to her. Should I give her the no. or I call directly... Should I step forward and call that girl to find out what is her relationship with my hubby...
Now my situation becomes worse...
Whenever I ask my hubby to have dinner with us,he just replied busy. He still continue working till very late. Our communication already breakdown. He seems like keeping a distance away from us. Think he is having financial difficulties. Sometimes there will be letter of demand from the bank. Previously he would drove me to work and my boy to school, but one of the morning few months ago, he said that his car being towed away. Whenever I asked him why he always don't bother, he just reply he is busy with his works and he is having financial difficulties and don't want to talk much.
During this new year, as usual he went back to his hometown without bringing us along. As usual he didn't call me not even a sms. Only when I sms him his son fall down and knocked his head, he just replied monitor 1st. After that, not a call to concern abt his injury. I was so depressed and looked into his email again. I have not looked into his email very long time. I saw 1 email regarding flight reservation return from Penang to Singapore and passengers name are my hubby's name and that girl's (the one who last time he claimed that he was helping her to book as she is having a affair with other guy). Another email is Penang hotel reservation for 2 and the checkout date was the same date as the flight.
I confuse again... If my hubby really helping that girl to book the flight, can the pessenger's name change during the check-in? If really is my hubby who took the flight, what's relationsip is between them?
Can a man having affair at the same time when having finanical difficulties? I really want to know the answer what is the actual reason he is keeping a distance from us, finanical difficulties, having affairs or both?
Another thing is that he said that his car being towed away as owed a few month's installment, but I saw 1 summon regarding parking without season coupon???
My hubby's sis also finds that he is not only keeping a distance from us, also from her and my FIL...And when I sms her that I found out the emails again, she was very angry and asked me for that girl's telephone no as she wanted to talk to her. Should I give her the no. or I call directly... Should I step forward and call that girl to find out what is her relationship with my hubby...
Lost babe: "I confuse again... If my hubby really helping that girl to book the flight, can the pessenger's name change during the check-in?" = I doubt so, as one has to indicate the right name.
"Another thing is that he said that his car being towed away as owed a few month's installment, but I saw 1 summon regarding parking without season coupon???" = Did the dates tally?
"Another thing is that he said that his car being towed away as owed a few month's installment, but I saw 1 summon regarding parking without season coupon???" = Did the dates tally?
infojunkie
Active Member
after 2 long yrs - 738 days to be precise, u're still as blind as ever?
time to wake up liao...
Yes, he's hving an affair.
and No, dun confront that gal - u dun wanna give her a chance to insult u.
time to wake up liao...
Yes, he's hving an affair.
and No, dun confront that gal - u dun wanna give her a chance to insult u.
Lost babe,
sorry to say that after reading your latest post,
it's pretty clear that your hubby is indeed having an affair. This is especially so because he's cutting himself away from his closed ones, including his own relatives. At this point, does it even matter to hear it from the horse's mouth? His financial difficulties, whether real or otherwise, must have something to do with this gal. Anyway what makes you think that a man with financial difficulties can't have an affair out there? Anything is possible in this world. I suggest you start planning for yourself and be strong. Live a better life than the person who's been treating you like an idiot.
sorry to say that after reading your latest post,
it's pretty clear that your hubby is indeed having an affair. This is especially so because he's cutting himself away from his closed ones, including his own relatives. At this point, does it even matter to hear it from the horse's mouth? His financial difficulties, whether real or otherwise, must have something to do with this gal. Anyway what makes you think that a man with financial difficulties can't have an affair out there? Anything is possible in this world. I suggest you start planning for yourself and be strong. Live a better life than the person who's been treating you like an idiot.
Goodness, I didn't realise your first post was in 2009!
Sigh...lost babe, don't let your heart fool you. It's not your hubby who's fooling you here but you yourself. I'm sure you know quite certain that he's been having an affair but just hope it wasn't the truth. Be brave. I don't know if you are able to cope without him but I believe life isn't better with him anyway.
Sigh...lost babe, don't let your heart fool you. It's not your hubby who's fooling you here but you yourself. I'm sure you know quite certain that he's been having an affair but just hope it wasn't the truth. Be brave. I don't know if you are able to cope without him but I believe life isn't better with him anyway.
You don't need to be rich to have an affair. You just need a willing third party.
An plausible but unlikely scenario is that the woman is actually a customer/business partner, thus need to travel together? Communication breakdown could be because a guy doesn't want his wife to know that he is not doing well.. (*shrug* maybe)
On the other hand, your husband is strange enough not to have changed his email password after repeated "spying" on your end. Either he is open about his business, bo chiap about hurting you or really want you to know about the "weird things"... Which is it?.. I don't know le.
Either way, start separating your finance from his and looking for options... You do not want to come back one day and 人财两空..
An plausible but unlikely scenario is that the woman is actually a customer/business partner, thus need to travel together? Communication breakdown could be because a guy doesn't want his wife to know that he is not doing well.. (*shrug* maybe)
On the other hand, your husband is strange enough not to have changed his email password after repeated "spying" on your end. Either he is open about his business, bo chiap about hurting you or really want you to know about the "weird things"... Which is it?.. I don't know le.
Either way, start separating your finance from his and looking for options... You do not want to come back one day and 人财两空..
Haiz, just received sms from my hubby's sis...
She asked my FIL when was my hubby left the hometown and he confirmed that my hubby left the hometown on the date same as the hotel checkout date and he drove his own car back. Therefore, how to explain the hotel checkin and the flight? Is he really helping that girl to book only? My FIL also noticed that my hubby seems don't bother about him too and when he asked him why he didn't bring us along to hometown to celebrate new year, my hubby replied no time and my FIL cried infront of my hubby's sis. So my hubby's sis said don't think my hubby has affair with that girl and now worried is he having financial difficulties and he seems like keeping a distance away from all of us... She also called up my hubby's bestfriend and he also confirmed that he drove his own car back to SIngapore. She already asked him to help to check out more...
I really confuse now... Should I call up that girl to clear the misunderstanding?
She asked my FIL when was my hubby left the hometown and he confirmed that my hubby left the hometown on the date same as the hotel checkout date and he drove his own car back. Therefore, how to explain the hotel checkin and the flight? Is he really helping that girl to book only? My FIL also noticed that my hubby seems don't bother about him too and when he asked him why he didn't bring us along to hometown to celebrate new year, my hubby replied no time and my FIL cried infront of my hubby's sis. So my hubby's sis said don't think my hubby has affair with that girl and now worried is he having financial difficulties and he seems like keeping a distance away from all of us... She also called up my hubby's bestfriend and he also confirmed that he drove his own car back to SIngapore. She already asked him to help to check out more...
I really confuse now... Should I call up that girl to clear the misunderstanding?
infojunkie
Active Member
"Should I call up that girl to clear the misunderstanding?"
didn't u try that b4? anyway, dun think it will help u much in getting the truth out abt ur man...
yes, the truth abt 'your' man cos u dun know him at all!
scary isn't it?
it's as if u're married to a stranger who gives u nothing but a relationship completely devoid of communication.
why hold on to it?
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didn't u try that b4? anyway, dun think it will help u much in getting the truth out abt ur man...
yes, the truth abt 'your' man cos u dun know him at all!
scary isn't it?
it's as if u're married to a stranger who gives u nothing but a relationship completely devoid of communication.
why hold on to it?
ä½ çš„å©šå§»æ—©å·²åå˜å®žäº¡ã€‚
@Junkie, That girl did called me up and explained that her hubby having affairs and she sent all those mushy sms found in her hubby's hp to my hubby as she was just pouring sorrows to him. She is actually my hubby's ex and they become good friend after their breakup. We also went out together with her too. She said that she knew that it is not good to send her hubby's mushy sms to my hubby but she does not have friends in Singapore, that's why she just pouring sorrows to my hubby.
However, after a few month later, when I saw a email regarding hotel reservation, my hubby explained to me that girl knows a new boyfriend and she asked him to book. She did not want to let her husband knew abt it as she don't want to have a divorce due to her 2 kids. That time I did not called up that girl to verify.
Yes it is scary. I don't know my hubby anymore due to lack of communication. He starts to keep to himself slowly... My hubby's sis said maybe because he is having financial difficulties, so he don't want us to worry and he is now concentrating his business to clear his debts... She said that maybe I always quarrel with him over his don't bother attitude and that girl's incident, he feels pressure and start to keep it himself...
Why hold on to it? I hold on because I still care, I hold on because of my 2 kids... If he really get into deep financial difficulties, I should not left him at this moment right? That's why I want to know the truth whether is he really having affairs or just helping her.
However, after a few month later, when I saw a email regarding hotel reservation, my hubby explained to me that girl knows a new boyfriend and she asked him to book. She did not want to let her husband knew abt it as she don't want to have a divorce due to her 2 kids. That time I did not called up that girl to verify.
Yes it is scary. I don't know my hubby anymore due to lack of communication. He starts to keep to himself slowly... My hubby's sis said maybe because he is having financial difficulties, so he don't want us to worry and he is now concentrating his business to clear his debts... She said that maybe I always quarrel with him over his don't bother attitude and that girl's incident, he feels pressure and start to keep it himself...
Why hold on to it? I hold on because I still care, I hold on because of my 2 kids... If he really get into deep financial difficulties, I should not left him at this moment right? That's why I want to know the truth whether is he really having affairs or just helping her.
Lost babe, have you spoken to your husband about your concern of the lack of communication?
Perhaps he has gotten tired of constantly having to defend himself. Looking back at one of your posts, you mentioned that you got so paranoid to a point where you questioned and got upset at every little thing that he couldn't do (eg: having dinner with you, etc).
Perhaps he has gotten tired of constantly having to defend himself. Looking back at one of your posts, you mentioned that you got so paranoid to a point where you questioned and got upset at every little thing that he couldn't do (eg: having dinner with you, etc).
infojunkie
Active Member
on February 06, 2009 - "I saw mushy sms on my hubby's hp. I confronted him and he said that those sms were not his and were belong to his friend as he lent his hp to <font color="ff0000">him</font>. My hubby has a few hps"
on February 09, 2009 - "my hubby explained to me that his friend's hubby was having an affair and after that his friend met a guy and she was having an affair with that guy. <font color="ff0000">She</font> asked my hubby to borrow his extra hp to her <u>so that her hubby will not discover</u>. I also know his friend and she also called me up and explain to me."
on February 15, 2011 - "That girl did called me up and explained that her hubby having affairs and she sent all those mushy sms found in her hubby's hp to my hubby as <u>she was just pouring sorrows to him</u>... she knew that it is not good to send her hubby's mushy sms to my hubby but she does not have friends in Singapore, that's why she just pouring sorrows to my hubby"
到底哪å¥æ˜¯çœŸï¼Œé‚£å¥æ˜¯å‡ï¼Ÿ
on February 09, 2009 - "my hubby explained to me that his friend's hubby was having an affair and after that his friend met a guy and she was having an affair with that guy. <font color="ff0000">She</font> asked my hubby to borrow his extra hp to her <u>so that her hubby will not discover</u>. I also know his friend and she also called me up and explain to me."
on February 15, 2011 - "That girl did called me up and explained that her hubby having affairs and she sent all those mushy sms found in her hubby's hp to my hubby as <u>she was just pouring sorrows to him</u>... she knew that it is not good to send her hubby's mushy sms to my hubby but she does not have friends in Singapore, that's why she just pouring sorrows to my hubby"
到底哪å¥æ˜¯çœŸï¼Œé‚£å¥æ˜¯å‡ï¼Ÿ
infojunkie
Active Member
"when I saw a email regarding hotel reservation, my hubby explained to me that girl knows a new boyfriend and she asked him to book. She did not want to let her husband knew abt it as she don't want to have a divorce"
i understand that she's still doing it rite?
her new boyfriend cannot book meh? why must die die trouble her best fren, ur husband, to book for her, to the extent of causing him marital strife? then later take all the trouble to explain to u, her best fren's wife?
no logic at all.
i understand that she's still doing it rite?
her new boyfriend cannot book meh? why must die die trouble her best fren, ur husband, to book for her, to the extent of causing him marital strife? then later take all the trouble to explain to u, her best fren's wife?
no logic at all.
Haiz, 真真å‡å‡...
@Junkie:
on February 06, 2009 - "I saw mushy sms on my hubby's hp. I confronted him and he said that those sms were not his and were belong to his friend as he lent his hp to him. My hubby has a few hps" ~ This was 3rd time I saw sms in my hubby's h/p. The sms seems like a guy sms to a gal, stating "Honey, is my passport with u." and the other party replied:" Yes, maid already prepared lunch." Don't think the sms belongs to that girl as she does not have a maid..
on February 09, 2009 - "my hubby explained to me that his friend's hubby was having an affair and after that his friend met a guy and she was having an affair with that guy. She asked my hubby to borrow his extra hp to her so that her hubby will not discover. I also know his friend and she also called me up and explain to me." ~ This was the second times I saw those sms in my hubby's h/p. That girl having affairs with another guy after her husband having affairs.
on February 15, 2011 - "That girl did called me up and explained that her hubby having affairs and she sent all those mushy sms found in her hubby's hp to my hubby as she was just pouring sorrows to him... she knew that it is not good to send her hubby's mushy sms to my hubby but she does not have friends in Singapore, that's why she just pouring sorrows to my hubby" ~ This was the 1st sms found in my hubby's h/p. She found out her hubby having affairs and he resent theose sms to my hubby.
Confusing, right?
@Junkie:
on February 06, 2009 - "I saw mushy sms on my hubby's hp. I confronted him and he said that those sms were not his and were belong to his friend as he lent his hp to him. My hubby has a few hps" ~ This was 3rd time I saw sms in my hubby's h/p. The sms seems like a guy sms to a gal, stating "Honey, is my passport with u." and the other party replied:" Yes, maid already prepared lunch." Don't think the sms belongs to that girl as she does not have a maid..
on February 09, 2009 - "my hubby explained to me that his friend's hubby was having an affair and after that his friend met a guy and she was having an affair with that guy. She asked my hubby to borrow his extra hp to her so that her hubby will not discover. I also know his friend and she also called me up and explain to me." ~ This was the second times I saw those sms in my hubby's h/p. That girl having affairs with another guy after her husband having affairs.
on February 15, 2011 - "That girl did called me up and explained that her hubby having affairs and she sent all those mushy sms found in her hubby's hp to my hubby as she was just pouring sorrows to him... she knew that it is not good to send her hubby's mushy sms to my hubby but she does not have friends in Singapore, that's why she just pouring sorrows to my hubby" ~ This was the 1st sms found in my hubby's h/p. She found out her hubby having affairs and he resent theose sms to my hubby.
Confusing, right?
infojunkie
Active Member
i can only say ä½ å¾ˆå¥½éª—...
Then how to explain my FIL confirmed that my hubby left the hometown on the date same as the hotel checkout date and he drove his own car back, so who took the flight. Another email is Penang hotel reservation for 2 and the checkout date was the same date as the checkout date as the other hotel... How can he check in with that girl when he was in his hometown, and how to check in two different hotels together and lastly how to take the flight back when he was driving...
I agree with milo. You choose to believe what you want to believe in because a big part of you is still hoping that your hubby does not have an affair outside.
I also agree with another TS that at this point of time, it's no longer about whether he has cheated on you. The fact is, you do not understand your hubby anymore. There is huge communication breakdown here and the worst being he doesn't realise it and thinks it's not important to communicate with you or his family members.
There are many possibilities here. For e.g., how sure are you that your FIL is telling the truth? How sure are you that the girl is telling the truth?
But the above questions are least important of all. The next few questions I like to ask are more important right now:
1. How do you feel about your marriage? Even if he didn't cheat on you?
2. Do you think you deserve what is going on in your marriage right now?
3. Do you think life would be better / worse without your hubby?
4. How do you think you have been contributing to this relationship (if any at all)?
5. If he hasn't cheated on you, what should you be doing to salvage this marriage?
6. If he had cheated on you, what would you do next?
I also agree with another TS that at this point of time, it's no longer about whether he has cheated on you. The fact is, you do not understand your hubby anymore. There is huge communication breakdown here and the worst being he doesn't realise it and thinks it's not important to communicate with you or his family members.
There are many possibilities here. For e.g., how sure are you that your FIL is telling the truth? How sure are you that the girl is telling the truth?
But the above questions are least important of all. The next few questions I like to ask are more important right now:
1. How do you feel about your marriage? Even if he didn't cheat on you?
2. Do you think you deserve what is going on in your marriage right now?
3. Do you think life would be better / worse without your hubby?
4. How do you think you have been contributing to this relationship (if any at all)?
5. If he hasn't cheated on you, what should you be doing to salvage this marriage?
6. If he had cheated on you, what would you do next?
who isn't screwing around? seems to me everyone is... male and female alike.
not only are pple swapping partners, they are also swapping handphones to lie to each other's spouse etc...
u dun even know if he still possesses a car, for goodness' sake! his car towed away and he is driving to malaysia?
and why can't check into 2 hotels? do hotels limit u?
this is more difficult to decipher than any others... and he's your husband.
not only are pple swapping partners, they are also swapping handphones to lie to each other's spouse etc...
u dun even know if he still possesses a car, for goodness' sake! his car towed away and he is driving to malaysia?
and why can't check into 2 hotels? do hotels limit u?
this is more difficult to decipher than any others... and he's your husband.
@Denise80
1. How do you feel about your marriage? Even if he didn't cheat on you? ~ No communication,
2. Do you think you deserve what is going on in your marriage right now? ~ Maybe as I am too harsh on him, giving him too much pressure. Just like I mention earlier, I got so paranoid to a point where I questioned and got upset at every little thing that he couldn't do (eg: having dinner with us, etc).
3. Do you think life would be better / worse without your hubby? ~ I'm lost now. I got 2 young kids and I really still care abt him. Or else I won't be so lost now. But I can said is that my life now is miserable...
4. How do you think you have been contributing to this relationship (if any at all)? ~ I already done my best... I'm a working mum and I have to take care of the kids too. But I admit I am always quarrels with him over his don't bother attitude and that girl's issues...
5. If he hasn't cheated on you, what should you be doing to salvage this marriage? ~ Communication, compromise, trust, provided he must opened up..
6. If he had cheated on you, what would you do next? ~ Really don't know... I'm now like in a cross junction...
1. How do you feel about your marriage? Even if he didn't cheat on you? ~ No communication,
2. Do you think you deserve what is going on in your marriage right now? ~ Maybe as I am too harsh on him, giving him too much pressure. Just like I mention earlier, I got so paranoid to a point where I questioned and got upset at every little thing that he couldn't do (eg: having dinner with us, etc).
3. Do you think life would be better / worse without your hubby? ~ I'm lost now. I got 2 young kids and I really still care abt him. Or else I won't be so lost now. But I can said is that my life now is miserable...
4. How do you think you have been contributing to this relationship (if any at all)? ~ I already done my best... I'm a working mum and I have to take care of the kids too. But I admit I am always quarrels with him over his don't bother attitude and that girl's issues...
5. If he hasn't cheated on you, what should you be doing to salvage this marriage? ~ Communication, compromise, trust, provided he must opened up..
6. If he had cheated on you, what would you do next? ~ Really don't know... I'm now like in a cross junction...
infojunkie
Active Member
oh come on...
u can't win ur man back cos ur mentality is so unattractive.
u can't win ur man back cos ur mentality is so unattractive.
@Powder, Of course hotels do not limit. Just wondering why checkin 2 hotels in the same time if really is with that girl...
"u dun even know if he still possesses a car, for goodness' sake! his car towed away and he is driving to malaysia? " ~ That's why my hubby's sis and I are worried now is he in deep financial difficutlies or other troubles and now keeping a distance away from us, even from his father and her... When my hubby's sis called my FIL, he would cry and complain that my hubby seems don't bother about us and him... He felt lonely... We are all so worried my hubby is having depression?
"u dun even know if he still possesses a car, for goodness' sake! his car towed away and he is driving to malaysia? " ~ That's why my hubby's sis and I are worried now is he in deep financial difficutlies or other troubles and now keeping a distance away from us, even from his father and her... When my hubby's sis called my FIL, he would cry and complain that my hubby seems don't bother about us and him... He felt lonely... We are all so worried my hubby is having depression?
My hubby likes to help his friends a lot, friends like everything to him. All his friends grew up together, study together and whenever going back to hometown, he will seldom stay at his house and will go to his friends. From young until now. My hubby's sis also agreed with that. She said that when having gathering or reunion dinner with his family when young, he would eat halfway and go to his friends once they called. When we were dating, during new year at his hometown, he seldom stay at his house and would go to his friends. That time, he still brought me along. After we married and have my 1st kid, we were left behind at his house and he went to his friends again. Due to this, I always quarrel with him why he left us behind. He said that the kid is so small, we got nothing to do at his friends' house so better to stay at home. After my second kid was born, he asked me to stay in Singapore and said that my family is here, better stay here, at least they can help me to take care of my 2 kids as if we go back, I am alone taking care of them.
When we were dating, I know that some of his friends having affairs, some of them dating with 2 girlfriends at the same time, from the conversation during his friends' gatherings. And sometimes his guy friends would asked him to book this and that. That time, I trust that he is not one of that type as he brought me out everytime during the gathering, he cared for me and told me everything.
After we married, he started to do his own business. So the time spending with me getting lesser, not like when he was still an employee, could spend time with me everyday after his work. But he still make an effort to spend time with me while doing his own business. During my early stage of 1st pregnancy, he would accompany me to every gynae visits. However, during the last stage of pregnancy, he was getting busy with his works and sometimes cannot accompany me. Getting lesser time spending together. I was depressed and would end up quarrel with him but he still would apologise to me that he was busy at work as his business just getting into the track and he understand my troubles..
Whenever whose birthdays, or dinner gatherings, he still make an effort to come. During my 2nd prenancy, he was getting more busy with his work. I had to visit my gynae alone and I getting more depressed that I was alone. And when I saw the 1st mushy sms on his h/p at the last stage of prenancy, I was totally depressed. He explained that he was only helping her. He said that he too concentrated with his works and had overlooked my feelings and he felt sorry.
Later, his business seems like not smoothing and he spent more time in his work. I asked him to tell me his problems, he said that he don't want me to worry and asked me to concentrate taking care of my 2 kids... And after all the incidences I mentioned above, his attendance for my sons' birthday, family gatherings from occasionally to none...
Yes, I also don't like guessing... I just want to know what actually happens...
When we were dating, I know that some of his friends having affairs, some of them dating with 2 girlfriends at the same time, from the conversation during his friends' gatherings. And sometimes his guy friends would asked him to book this and that. That time, I trust that he is not one of that type as he brought me out everytime during the gathering, he cared for me and told me everything.
After we married, he started to do his own business. So the time spending with me getting lesser, not like when he was still an employee, could spend time with me everyday after his work. But he still make an effort to spend time with me while doing his own business. During my early stage of 1st pregnancy, he would accompany me to every gynae visits. However, during the last stage of pregnancy, he was getting busy with his works and sometimes cannot accompany me. Getting lesser time spending together. I was depressed and would end up quarrel with him but he still would apologise to me that he was busy at work as his business just getting into the track and he understand my troubles..
Whenever whose birthdays, or dinner gatherings, he still make an effort to come. During my 2nd prenancy, he was getting more busy with his work. I had to visit my gynae alone and I getting more depressed that I was alone. And when I saw the 1st mushy sms on his h/p at the last stage of prenancy, I was totally depressed. He explained that he was only helping her. He said that he too concentrated with his works and had overlooked my feelings and he felt sorry.
Later, his business seems like not smoothing and he spent more time in his work. I asked him to tell me his problems, he said that he don't want me to worry and asked me to concentrate taking care of my 2 kids... And after all the incidences I mentioned above, his attendance for my sons' birthday, family gatherings from occasionally to none...
Yes, I also don't like guessing... I just want to know what actually happens...
It is so odd.. Lostgal..
You always start the topic by saying the negative things your husband did.. When we further expand on. And offer our suggestions..
You keep turning around to say no. It is not possible because of this and that..and it is every possibility on earth except what we are suGgesting
So, the best advice, either live for ever in the dark, and trust and/or choose to ignore whatever he may do..or just once and for all ask him e truth..
You always start the topic by saying the negative things your husband did.. When we further expand on. And offer our suggestions..
You keep turning around to say no. It is not possible because of this and that..and it is every possibility on earth except what we are suGgesting
So, the best advice, either live for ever in the dark, and trust and/or choose to ignore whatever he may do..or just once and for all ask him e truth..
the writing is pretty clear. HB is having affair.. but you chose to believe otherwise and finding excuses for him?
You can waste more 2 years.. and maybe still the same lingering doubts.
Financial difficulty or not .. it has nothing to do with affair. Even bankrupt person can have affair.
Face up to the reality and confront him.. or just keep quiet and accept things as it is. Posting in the forum will not give you anything..
You can waste more 2 years.. and maybe still the same lingering doubts.
Financial difficulty or not .. it has nothing to do with affair. Even bankrupt person can have affair.
Face up to the reality and confront him.. or just keep quiet and accept things as it is. Posting in the forum will not give you anything..
Think confrontation is not going to work either, it's not as if she hasn't confronted him before. She tried, she got his answer which failed to reassure her. Issues keep resurfacing cos he can't care less already and she lost her trust.
Unless you do something different this time, otherwise you will still come back 2 years later with the same set of problems... like a hamster running in a wheel, so tired yet getting nowhere. The options I see are: (1) Do not question anymore, you don't like the answers anyway. Regardless he is guilty of infidelity or not, accept the man has changed and resigned to living with this nonchalant stranger for the rest of your life for the sake of keeping the family unit intact (2) Decide that enough is enough, refuse to suffer in silence anymore, leave the man even if he is innocent. He's no longer the man you fell in love with anyway.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
Unless you do something different this time, otherwise you will still come back 2 years later with the same set of problems... like a hamster running in a wheel, so tired yet getting nowhere. The options I see are: (1) Do not question anymore, you don't like the answers anyway. Regardless he is guilty of infidelity or not, accept the man has changed and resigned to living with this nonchalant stranger for the rest of your life for the sake of keeping the family unit intact (2) Decide that enough is enough, refuse to suffer in silence anymore, leave the man even if he is innocent. He's no longer the man you fell in love with anyway.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein