Any Mixed Marriages here? Esp Chinese-Malay Muslim couple

Cuclainne : Yes yes.....I'm up for anything that includes FOOD in the activity....
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When us Ah Boy coming over?? *kaypo*

Interrace : I tried scanning in the pictures but somehow my scanner is not picking it up leh...This after I installed the ink cartridge. I will try again soon. Sorry girl!
 


Marnie, now you got me all excited to try the food and see the ambience of My Secret Garden. Ssshhhh... so when are we going ah??
 
Cuclainne : YEAY for the Boy!!! When he comes, you'll be too busy lah.......We all get discarded....Boo hoo.....(J/K)

I got a lunch quote - 3 different menus - from Equinox. Minimum 50 pax. You want to take a look? Leave me your e-addy.

Girls : Any of you interested to meet up early next week?? Cuclainne and I are interested to test drive My Secret Garden. If not, Cuclainne and I will go alone - how Cuclainne - you up for it?
 
Aiyah, Marnie don't say things like that la. You girls will still have special places in my heart...

You beat me to it!!! Ok lor - please send here [email protected]

You don't have to ask twice when it comes to food - I'm ALL FOR IT!!

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hi ladies

i read thru all your postings. looks that it's a tight-knit community u all have here
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i posted in may, but let me refresh - i'm chinese marrying a malay/chinese girl in sep05.

got a question to ask ladies with kids: do your kids have chinese names if their fathers are chinese, besides the muslim names? some1 mentioned that the registry of births & deaths automatically put the race of the newborn after the father's race, ie. if chinese put race as chinese, correct?

i had an arguement over the names and race with my FW, as she only wants muslim name then my chinese surname for our child(ren). i'm thinking of having chinese name for my chinese lineage, but she's adamant to only muslim names are she feels our future child(ren) may think he/she/they is/are chinese than muslim...

just wanna hear views from u ladies...

marnie
read u got your AD photog, i offered my services in may once but i didnt follow up with you. anyway hope u got a good photog!
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Hi Pixel,

Im malay but ive a few mixed parentage friends.. OKie.. it all depends on you and ur FW.. some of my friends have a malay name, followed by surname and a chinese name.. eg. Farhana Chen Weiling.. in this case, she doesnt have the BTe after her name.. whereas half of my friends have a surname onli.. eg. Farhana Bte Mohd Ali Chen. or Imran Chen Bin Ali Chen. Its up to u really.

You could try explaining your reason for wanting to preserve the lineage, afterall, since u are chinese, there is no way they'll end up malay-muslim.. cos since ur chinese.. they'll be considered chinese-muslim, as u said, follow the dad's race.
 
Oh by the way, sorry if u guys feel im interruptong.. im new here.. have been looking for muslim brides for some time but didnt seem to find any.
 
Nur Hidayu

i've tried explaining but my FW's stubborn like me, so now no solution. somemore my FFIL (her dad) says cannot have chinese name....
 
Pixel : Yes, I remember you! Sorry about the photography but everything went by in a blur and we went around really by research. Decided to go with Eulee who takes digital photos, after our first choice of Fast Soup is not available for the weekend we're looking at. Eulee is great though as a person and a photographer and I'm definitely looking forward to "working" with him...
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On to your question re. baby names. I think if it were Meraj and myself, I'd want to have a mixture of both our cultures. Meraj is Bangladeshi (though he ticks himself off as Indian for "official" purposes) and I'm Malay so most likely our children will have first and second names. It's a "preservation" of our cultures.

Nur Hidayu :
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We're a mix of all. So you can join us anytime!
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So give us a "low-down" about you and yours....*kaypoh makcik in action* Of course, you don't have to indulge my kaypoh-ness if you don't want to....
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Cuclainne : Yeah...I'm guessing about S$80.00 up for dinner. But the view is a definite plus...

I also wrote to The Flutes at the Fort. The ambience is great there but Meraj and I felt that the food is so-so. But of course when we went there, the chef was the one who got busted in the high-profile drug bust sometime back. Remember? Must have changed chefs. Their menu packages are exorbitant so I'd rather go with Equinox.

Now running out of places to hold an intimate tete-a-tete....Hmmmmmm.......

Girls : Guess what?! I met Huichin by sheer coincidence at the food court at our lunch time....Buying food from the same stall. So farnee.....Got to catch up a bit...
 
just an update on my wedding...

we're having a small sit-down dinner @ furama riverfront for only relatives, having kintamani as our caterer. btw kintamani is in the same hotel.

the hotel is only 5 min away from our new resale flat, which we are still waiting for our completion date...

my AD photog is a friend and we'll also have a pro-videographer which is my colleague. anyone wants a AD photog can approach me
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email [email protected] or a videographer (my colleague, ex-mediacorp staff) sori some self-promo here...
 
Hi Gals!!

TGIF!!!Me been busy over the hse thingy, cos got defects, hdb hacking and replacing with new tiles, got to go down and do spot check , choose tiles..blab blab blab.

Marnie,
no problem.sorry to trouble hor, btw, my MIL very nice to me leh, she noes i got problem making my baju kurong due to lack of pattern, she went to buy a ready made one for me, so sweet hor...Hope our relationship will just get better, dun wanna have a not so good r/s with MIL (which happen all the time hor).

So how was the last meetup?Tomolo u gals gg to the bridal show huh? Have fun yo!!

Hihi pixel and Nur!!!
i got no kids , but for my future children,is okie with me not to have chinese names loh. since pple nowadays also uses mainly christian name/muslim names to address each other.
chinese name only used when gg for chinese lessons in school...
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Have a great wkend !!!
 
Interrace : How's the flat now? All taken care of? You sure have been missed here....

But I am glad that you're getting on good with your MIL.
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Huichin, Cuclainne, Ally, Elaine and I didn't meet up yesterday. Ally couldn't make it and 4 of us not too shiok.

We're going to the Bridal Fair on 28th so looking forward to meeting Elaine, whom I've not met before. Should be great!
 
Hi ladies!! (oops..Did I saw a gentleman also..?)

phew..last nite double date was such a bore!!!! Aiyo..the guy was so nerdy n guai..Aiyo..no wonder can't have any gf at his age (he's turning 39 this year..an engineer by profession)Sigh..kena blocked by my SIL on the first sight!!

Hi Pixel,

I'm a muslim with mixed parentage. Dad is a peranakan n mum malay. My bro n I had both Ch n malay name..I'm a Teo so I had my surname in my BC but in my IC i dropped it..find that its a bit confusing. In fact, was quite cumbersome to have to write both my malay name n ch name..eg.. Ally Teo Sok Ling Bte ... Teo. In fact my cousins also dun have the 'bte' in their name But substitute it with 'putera or puteri' eg. Kristina Teo Rizal Puteri.


For ur case, discuss properly with u FW..mayb retain the surname n make do w/o the ch name? (juz a suggestion..)

Nur,

welkum..join us..join us..dun shy lah...
 
Hi gals...

Dam sickening and angry... the photographer i engaged told me he will not be free for me on my wedding day, how can he do that to me !! now last min how to find a replacement !!! I booked him two months back, just becoz he charge me very cheap doesnt meant he can change his mind anytime what.. I already budget everything accordingly.
Sorry gals... didnt meant to bang my anger here.. just feeling very frustrated.. my apology.
 
Hi Pixel,
I am a Malay and my hubby is Chinese. We've been married 7yrs and now have a daughter. We gave her a very simple name for her BC - Sarah Zain Chua. She also has a Chinese name - Cai Pei En, but it's not official, ie. we decided not to put in BC. Both hubby and I felt that it was also important for her to have a Chinese name, as it is part of her heritage and we cannot deny her that.

You need to discuss this thoroughly with your FW. True your kids will be Muslims, but she must not forget that they are also Chinese. She cannot confuse the two - one is race and the other religion. Both can co-exist peacefully. Doesn't mean when you have one you can't have the other. Or that once you are a Muslim you are no longer a Chinese. Besides, what's so bad about having a Chinese name?

And your FFIL is actually wrong about your kids not being allowed to have Chinese name. If you want further clarification you can even go check at Darul Arqam. My sis' fiance who is Australian Scottish is converting and do you know that he is not going to change his name at all, nor taking on a Muslim name? They checked with Darul Arqam and were told that it's ok - so long as your name doesn't have a bad meaning. So he is going to retain his orginal name.
 
Elaine: How much is your budget? My AD photographer - is charging S$500.00 for photography for 6 hours but without prints. If wiith prints, add S$150.00.

Hi Lani & Ally!! Sorry girls, I'm busy in the office (on a Saturday!). Got to clear my darn files.....I'll catch up more when I'm home..
 
My nephew has both a Malay and English name (my sis is married to a foreigner). Me and Elias would like our kid(s) to have both a Malay and Swedish name. I suppose it is something that you both have to come to an agreement on.

Elaine: when is your AD? So sorry to hear about this coming up on you...
 
Hello all..

Firstly, thanks for welcoming me..

2ndly, ive been reading thru yr posts, and regarding food, me not particular also. I somemore eat at vegetarian stall at hawker centre. Eat vegetarian food also kena comment by people. BEcos chinese stall ma. My mom was more liberal cos she used to bring me to eat at non-halal places but take seafood la, and make sure the meal im taking no pork or lard or any alcoholic substance can already. Cos she say some places cater to foreigners so must have alcohol. My FH also not that particular so ok la.. but of course in front of our other relatives, we dont show one.. sure kena comment.

Regarding the name issue, it really is up between the two of you. I know of someone whose name wa taken from the Bible, but it sounds Malay. I guess its more of making sure your name has a good meaning, cos its believed that the child will grow up to embody the characteristics of the name.
 
Anyways, Marnie, i guess im the youngest here.. only 21 this yr, working in civil service. my AD is next august. My engagement is this Sept. So i have like.. 11 months before my AD after my engagement.. But i started preparations already..

i chose bridal concept for studio+outdoor photography cos i dun like malay makeup.. but i see nowadays Anggun makeup also not bad, quite light. can choose the MUA. but i thinking twice about BC for AD because they seem to have limited choices for malay baju, unless i tailor some myself.

i doing a dinner, most prob Sentosa. Cos i like beach wedding. MY mommy also like. My FH loved the idea. My FH is Indonesian by race, but we seem to not be having a typical malay wedding, except for the lunch reception. Must honor my elderly relatives and all of my parents acquaintances.

Im getting tips from a lot of CHinese brides here, on how to decor the place and favours etc.. cos i dun like to do it so 'Malay2' type. Not that im not proud of my heritage but i trying to mix the old wedding traditions and giving it a new twist. Something different la. Now malay weddings all look the same.

*phew* thats a long lowdown from me.. hope u all not tired of me alreadt.. *teeheeee*
 
Nur Hidayu : I thought you got scared of us talking too much in here that's why you didn't post anything..
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I think ALL of us here understand your decision to give the malay tradition a bit of twist. Especially since we're all growing up in the 21st century and there's a mix of cultures here.

Meraj described to our friend that our wedding reception is going to be a "party mixed with malay culture and new age Meraj" - whatever that means..but yeah..I'm quite happy with the way we are planning our wedding.

I think Anggun Andaman has beautiful creations. I'd say their forte is definitely their lace modern kebayas. Their prices are a bit steep but if you have a loose budget, it may be what you're looking for..

By the way Nur - hope you don't mind I call you Nur - a few of the girls here are going to the Bridal Fair on 28th this month, you can join us if you want. We're a very close knit family here.
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Cuclainne : Eh..the girls never come back about My Secret Garden. Shall the two of us dine under the bright starlights one day next week after work?
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Cuclainne : I'm okay with Wednesday onwards. Prefer Friday lah...so Saturday no need to work...I hope I don't have to go back to work.....Let me know your preference.
 
Hi ladies,

Droping in after 2 hectic days of birthday parties for my little gal. In fact we have 2 more parties to go. Actually her birthday not due till 24th July but had to do 4 separate parties for her. I'm already gagging on bithday cakes liao!!

Kinda tied up with her parties n classes till early August. Aiyo..I very paisay about the meet up the other time.. Anyway, enjoy urselves at the Bridal Fair ya?
 
BTW, Nur..

Beach wedding, so funky ya? esp with ur mum supporting u...

Ei..ei..

*Looking thru binoculars* no sight of IC, Elaine..yoo..hoo...
 
Ally,
I thinkc IC is very busy taking care of her son. He is only 3 mths old but sometimes refuses to sleep in the daytime at all! So poor thing she! My daughter is only 12 days older than her son and yet she naps about 4 hrs in the daytime everyday! Hehe! She looooves her naps...

Anyway, I may be meeting up with her sometime soon at my place - we both hope to let our kids play together lah, if not so boring, they have no playmates...
 
Ally : Wah..your daughter hot property eh - you doing 4 birthday parties. Cakes cakes cakes...yummy yummy...Still want my triple layer choc cake.....
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No need to be paiseh lah...We all understand that last minute stuff are bound to happen. We shall organise one meet-up next month, less stress for you, yes?

Lani : Send my love and regards to IC - thanks. She must be exhausted looking after her son and no rest in the afternoon.
 
Marnie,

FYI,

2 of her cakes are from sweet secrets - choc indulgence..yum..yum..!

Another 2 are from coffee bean..those with barbie doll type.

after these parties, definitely have to go for extreme gym sessions liao...
 
Hello Girls,
Sorry. Really have been busy. Ok while typing this, not that my son is sleeping. I just dumped him in the playpen. I'm too tired entertaining him. So on those toy music for him and let him hear. If i bring him out, he will sometimes get a nap. If he stays home..he only want me to play with him. Ok... can't read all the posts. Too busy. Will logged in if i can.
Ally,
If you want to find me..you know lah... can SMS or MSN me (if i happen to be online)
 
Elaine
i'm a photog. when's yr day in sep? as long as not same day as my ROMM/WD (9sep) i can shoot for u. i've been shooting for over 10 yrs, and i shoot digital. email me [email protected] if u keen
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Marnie, Interrace, Ally, Lani, cuclainne
thanks for yr takes on naming mixed parentage children. i think i'll name them with muslim names sounding more neutral, like my muslim name adam, and give them unofficial chinese names for my parents' side...though i still hope can include in BC, but FW not hapi leh...
 
Pixel,
You still have a long way to go before you have kids, so I guess this naming thing is still open to negotiation...

Yes, the best option is to give them Western-sounding Muslim names, like my daughter Sarah. Much easier that way.

And Chinese name can always be unofficial and not necessary to be in BC. Also, if you plan to have your kids take Chinese in school next time, at least they'll have a Chinese name that the teacher can use, instead of letting her/him anyhow give them a stupid-sounding Chinese name!
 
Friday sounds good, Marnie

If there are any changes, just let me know by email or sms lor - going to be quite busy at work the next few days. might not be able to check in on the forum ...
 
Hello Jie-jies.. *giggles*

28th eh.. hmm.. i check my schedule.. 28th i working liao.. its on from 27th to 29th right? maybe i can catch it on 27th. 28th i morning shift. bo pian. finish work at 10pm. but i guess we can always congregate here later that night and exchange our opinions of the fair?

anyways.. muz thank u guys for highlighting it to me. i keep missing the bridal fairs.
 
hi gals..

I know is already late at night.. just wanna drop a hello to all the gals out there... jus in case I miss out anyone of you.. hehe..

Marnie..
your AD photography is $500 ? sounded resonable.. but dont think I can effort lei.. cos I still got other things to pay.. hmm.. worst come to worst I Will engage a malay, is so much cheaper but the way they take not so pro and creative lor.. but what to do, I got budget problem lei.. Sigh...

Pixel...
Do you mind to code me your quotation?? my AD will be on 18th Sept this year . maybe you can email me at [email protected]

Cuclainne..
My AD is on 18th Sept this year lei.. will give you my invataion card on our next meeting ?? hahahaha....
 
Elaine : Wah...long time never see you leh...Hope all is alright there.

Eh.....I feel hurt...how come you only giving Cuclainne your invite, huh???
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(J/K). Me also want...

Anyways, let me know how many hours you want to engage the photographer and your budget and I'll keep a look out for you. You can PM me or email me at [email protected] if you don't want to disclose your budget here.

Cuclainne : Friday then. I will sms you tomorrow or something to confirm the time and place to meet, k?

IC : We've missed you!! ((((HUG)))) I'm sure you must be be very tired from having to entertain your son. Don't forget you must rest too, k, girl?
 
Elaine, you want to saman me with your invite card then you must also saman the rest ok ... hehehe.

Marnie, set. see you on Friday then.

By the way, did you guys see the ad in the Classifieds today? Clearance of wedding gowns, evening gowns and ROM dresses @ $80 - $180 at 3 Neil Road. Hmmm ...
 
Hi everyone...

have not been here for quite awhile...see until
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again! lol...anywayz...Hello to Pixel & Nur Hidayu (adura).

Nur: U took up Bridal Concept! I lurve their photography too~! hehe...but me haven started anything yet...cos end of the yr then got enuf $$ to pay for deposits and stuff..hehe..

Ok everyone, meet up on Thurs, 28 July 2005, for the wedding exhibition at the Expo. Onz?
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Huichin : No lah...Me not checking out. Tempting by highly unlikely that my "cute" body can fit into the dress....
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Cuclainne, Elaine and I are on to meet you at the Bridal Fair. I can talk talk with my wedding vendors....
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Anyone intending to go Arab Street to go look look for fabric/material for their wedding dresses?
 
Hi gals,

So cold today ....feel like winter in my opi.

Marnie,
tks for asking, my flat been delayed, as they need to hack and re-tile my floorings and walls.
They burst one of my pipes ... *headache*
so think i may not have a new home to move to after my AD.

Nur,
so young to get married, hmmmm...wat was i doing when i was 21 ..seems like so long ago..think i still blur blur just start work only, no $ to plan for wedding, what's more, no one want to marry me then..wahahaha...
is good to get married young loh... $$ stable and still young when get pregnant.hee..

Elaine,

Me also not invited ar???
 
Hi ladies,

today so hectic in ofc..had been taking reductil pills(for slimming) n i'm on my tiptoes all day. Extra energetic lor.. Running here n there all day long.

Elaine,

Wah u forget about the rest of us ah?

Marnie, Cucclaine,

Bridal gowns..hmm..feel like taking another photoshoot - 7yrs later..the aftermath...hahha..
 
Mmmm ... feel tempted to go check it out but I have plans today ...
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Anyways, I'm on for the 28th. Can I bring a friend? She's also planning her wedding. hehehehe ...
 
Cuclainne : No problemo bringing your friend. The more the merrier...

Oooh......I'm ill today. Got leave for tomorrow. So may have to postpone our dinner? *sigh* Think we're not fated lah Cuclainne.

Ally : Come come with us...You can go for family potraits now lah....Good to have family pictures right?

Huichin : I thought you not soo busy with your work this period. Pak tor issit??
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K, Girls, I need to ask your opinion - can you give me suggestions what type of sleeve I should have for my wedding dress? Initially wanted cap sleeve but realise that that cut may appear like emphasising my thunder arms...I don't want full length sleeves either...*sigh* Headache....
 
Ally,
u taking slimming pills? it makes u energetic huh? then i'd need it for sure.. i always falling asleep at work..

Marnie,
Thanks for the highlight.. Means i can only go on the 30th and 31st.. Cos of my schedule.. *sigh*

Huichin,
I signed up for their studio and outdoor.. Havent decide on actual day cos so far their malay baju limited. but i asked, and if i MTM a EG it'll be about $200/-. So i still considering them for AD. i paid a deposit $100/- only.. then slowly pay installments.. hehe..

Cuclainne,
Oooh Allure Charix.. pretty gowns.. but for me buy gown not worth it. Wont use again.

Interrace,
True, i marry young.. but got lotsa people comment also. But i'd rather marry early and close the age gap between me and my kids. Dun care what people say. My family is fine so the rest dun matter. As for $$$, must prioritise lorr.. Cannot shop too much. I'm lucky cos my job pretty stable. But anyhows, both of us furthering studies together after marriage, most likely Open U. My fingers itchy to write notes already.

But look at it this way, you guys will be moving into ur new home... heeehee.. mine wont be anytime soon. *green with envy*
 


Marnie,

How about off-shoulder 3/4 sleeves? Dont get those which reach elbow then puff out.. cos its emphasize the arms.. unless its those soft which gradually ends in soft layers. Oh and consider getting sleeves which ends asymetrically? it'll elongate the arms. Just my opinion though. *_*
 

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