cecilialim
Active Member
how come all super kay siao take leave on thurs for super long weekend ah!
tansy confirm you still not very free kekeke
tansy confirm you still not very free kekeke
Any Clubbers Out There?
- Thread starter lilacz
- Start date
aquarius_888
New Member
For a laugh
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her
young husband constant demands for sex, decides to
make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of
times that they will have to make love for the
rest of their marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of
paper, "Honey,you know I love you, but your never
ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and
really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on
days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the
frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at
me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and
let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator
magnet and sticks the note to the fridge
door,hoping
that her sex craved husband will be understanding and
accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator
and notices that her note has been replaced with a
note from her husband that reads,"Baby, I didn't'
realize that I was putting you under so much pressure
and I'm sorry.I accept your proposal and have even
taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this
letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to
make sure that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I
am waiting for you upstairs."
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her
young husband constant demands for sex, decides to
make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of
times that they will have to make love for the
rest of their marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of
paper, "Honey,you know I love you, but your never
ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and
really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on
days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the
frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at
me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and
let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator
magnet and sticks the note to the fridge
door,hoping
that her sex craved husband will be understanding and
accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator
and notices that her note has been replaced with a
note from her husband that reads,"Baby, I didn't'
realize that I was putting you under so much pressure
and I'm sorry.I accept your proposal and have even
taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this
letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to
make sure that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I
am waiting for you upstairs."
aquarius_888
New Member
>GSCE 'O' Levels
>Hokkien Exam Paper
>
>
>Instructions:
>
>1. Read the passage carefully
>
>2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage
>after reading.
>
>3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
>
>
>
>Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
>
>
>Question:
>Singalella why become rich ?
>
>
>
>Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella.
>
>She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn
>kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
>
>Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
>
>Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
>
>If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
>
>Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
>
>CPF poon boh.
>
>But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
>
>So he say, "oeh, long chong lai ah."
>
>Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her
>step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu
>standard."
>
>Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
>
>Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
>
>That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the
>kitchen and cook Maggi mee.
>
>Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?"
>
>So Singaalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian."
>
>She never expect but the neighbour say, "Aiyah, kee lah, I give you
>money."
>
>So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very
>different.
>
>She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
>
>At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui
>one.
>
>Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
>
>Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came
>in.
>
>Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
>
>"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai."
>
>Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"
>
>Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there.
>
>But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor.
>
>He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
>
>So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio,
>zhit-pak ban.
>
>So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho
sen-lee.
>
>Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
>
>
>
>Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien....
>
>A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
>
>Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
>
>
>A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.
>
>zhia lat
>
>
>E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.
>
>leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
>
>
>F9. Don't understand rating.
>
>kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
>Hokkien Exam Paper
>
>
>Instructions:
>
>1. Read the passage carefully
>
>2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage
>after reading.
>
>3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
>
>
>
>Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
>
>
>Question:
>Singalella why become rich ?
>
>
>
>Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella.
>
>She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn
>kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso.
>
>Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah.
>
>Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao.
>
>If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
>
>Tak jit zho kah tau-hin.
>
>CPF poon boh.
>
>But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party.
>
>So he say, "oeh, long chong lai ah."
>
>Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her
>step-marder say, "Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu
>standard."
>
>Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder.
>
>Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
>
>That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the
>kitchen and cook Maggi mee.
>
>Her neighbour came over and ask, "Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?"
>
>So Singaalella kong, "I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian."
>
>She never expect but the neighbour say, "Aiyah, kee lah, I give you
>money."
>
>So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very
>different.
>
>She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
>
>At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui
>one.
>
>Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing.
>
>Just as Ah Ming told himself, "Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat", Singalella came
>in.
>
>Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
>
>"Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai."
>
>Ah Ming say to Singalella, "eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!"
>
>Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there.
>
>But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor.
>
>He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number.
>
>So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio,
>zhit-pak ban.
>
>So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho
sen-lee.
>
>Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
>
>
>
>Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien....
>
>A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
>
>Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
>
>
>A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.
>
>zhia lat
>
>
>E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.
>
>leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
>
>
>F9. Don't understand rating.
>
>kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
aquarius_888
New Member
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back....or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
testimonials of a few people who did....
====================================================================
*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word. He knew better.
*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.
*While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW
that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants
and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did
HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
words back....or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the
testimonials of a few people who did....
====================================================================
*I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't
say a word. He knew better.
*I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,
I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
*My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the
boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the
boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my
sister has never let me forget.
*While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence
was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the
door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
*Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While
enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW
that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This
time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his
cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!" While 30 people nearly
choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants
and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
*This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did
HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
aquarius_888
New Member
Hey anyone still has the 'bao' and Maggie Mee joke...I always love to read that.
cecilialim
Active Member
hahaha!!! Wa gia A1 leh! wa eh heao ... haha!!!
aquarius_888
New Member
kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh <-this one funnie!
cecilialim
Active Member
hahahah!!! the kinky jokes are funny!!!!
aquarius_888
New Member
heh funnie hor...I clearing my emails now so saw all these funnie jokes.
cecilialim
Active Member
so funny! haha!!! that daddy pee pee darn funny hahahahaha!!! sibeh paiseh lor!
aquarius_888
New Member
so nice! have a great evening!
aquarius_888
New Member
no probs levynn...I have many more...I cannot find the bao and maggi mee joke now...trying to look for it...
cecilialim
Active Member
serene i also want to do that leh...
aquarius_888
New Member
Here! Found it!
One day, noodle quarrel with meat bao(bun). They had a fight but bao was too clumsy and lost badly. He was very angry and he told noodle to stay behind if he has the guts and he'll get his pals to assist him. Meat bao went to find bread, man tou, jian bao etc to get them to reinforce him. Along the way, they saw maggi mee. They ah bish ah bish ah bish and beat maggi mee up and maggi mee beri puzzled why he kena beaten up. He said, "Why u all beat me? What have I done to deserve this?" The meat bao said, "Noodle! Dun think u perm your hair then cannot recognise u!"
Chapter Two
===========
Maggi mee, who was beaten up for no reason, was very angry. So he went to find bee hoon, udon, fried noodles etc to seek revenge. But on the way, they met small bao. Maggi mee looked at small bao for a while then told his brothers, "Bra-der! Whack him!" Maggi mee whack small bao harder & harder.
After the noodles family has left, they asked Maggi Mee why he hated small bao so much and beat him up so badly. Maggi mee said. "At first wanna teach him a small lesson only, but then see him act cute, made me so angry."
Chapter Three
=============
The more small bao thought of it, the more buay song he was. So, he found the bao family to whack Maggi mee. Then they found ying shi juan (noodles covered with bun). They brought him back as hostage and were about to put him on the stove to force him to talk when the bao head said, "That's not noodles! That's our undercover!"
Chapter Four
============
The family of bao and noodles are now enemies and they have gang fights whenever they see each other. One day, the noodles family was having a walk when they saw char siew bao alone. Seeing the good chance, all of them attacked him. The noodles family shouted, "Beat him hard hard! Don't give chance just because he's vomiting blood!"
Chapter Five
===========
Poor char siew bao, with his injuries, went to the baoheadquarters to look for help. All the bao family was activated and together with red bean bao,green bean bun etc. they went to seek revenge. All the passerbys siam them as they look like they will kill.
They saw french fries jalan jalan along, shopping. The bao family attacked him. The bao head shouted, "Noodle people still wear gold go shopping! Whack him!!!"
Chapter Six
==========
Finally, the bao family manage to kidnap noodle, the one who started up the whole show, and brought him back to the bao headquarter.All the baos took turns to whack him. At the end, the chief of baos - dua bah bao took a final roll over noodle before they dump him.
When the poor noodle finally went home, none of the family member could recognise him bcoz he is totally disfigured - flatten. In order not to let the family bear the bad name, he appears as a new member named Mee pok.
One day, noodle quarrel with meat bao(bun). They had a fight but bao was too clumsy and lost badly. He was very angry and he told noodle to stay behind if he has the guts and he'll get his pals to assist him. Meat bao went to find bread, man tou, jian bao etc to get them to reinforce him. Along the way, they saw maggi mee. They ah bish ah bish ah bish and beat maggi mee up and maggi mee beri puzzled why he kena beaten up. He said, "Why u all beat me? What have I done to deserve this?" The meat bao said, "Noodle! Dun think u perm your hair then cannot recognise u!"
Chapter Two
===========
Maggi mee, who was beaten up for no reason, was very angry. So he went to find bee hoon, udon, fried noodles etc to seek revenge. But on the way, they met small bao. Maggi mee looked at small bao for a while then told his brothers, "Bra-der! Whack him!" Maggi mee whack small bao harder & harder.
After the noodles family has left, they asked Maggi Mee why he hated small bao so much and beat him up so badly. Maggi mee said. "At first wanna teach him a small lesson only, but then see him act cute, made me so angry."
Chapter Three
=============
The more small bao thought of it, the more buay song he was. So, he found the bao family to whack Maggi mee. Then they found ying shi juan (noodles covered with bun). They brought him back as hostage and were about to put him on the stove to force him to talk when the bao head said, "That's not noodles! That's our undercover!"
Chapter Four
============
The family of bao and noodles are now enemies and they have gang fights whenever they see each other. One day, the noodles family was having a walk when they saw char siew bao alone. Seeing the good chance, all of them attacked him. The noodles family shouted, "Beat him hard hard! Don't give chance just because he's vomiting blood!"
Chapter Five
===========
Poor char siew bao, with his injuries, went to the baoheadquarters to look for help. All the bao family was activated and together with red bean bao,green bean bun etc. they went to seek revenge. All the passerbys siam them as they look like they will kill.
They saw french fries jalan jalan along, shopping. The bao family attacked him. The bao head shouted, "Noodle people still wear gold go shopping! Whack him!!!"
Chapter Six
==========
Finally, the bao family manage to kidnap noodle, the one who started up the whole show, and brought him back to the bao headquarter.All the baos took turns to whack him. At the end, the chief of baos - dua bah bao took a final roll over noodle before they dump him.
When the poor noodle finally went home, none of the family member could recognise him bcoz he is totally disfigured - flatten. In order not to let the family bear the bad name, he appears as a new member named Mee pok.
cecilialim
Active Member
haha! go home la! still with your bao hahhaahhahaha!
aquarius_888
New Member
Good morning ladies!
Hee...*hi-five serene* I am also on leave tomorrow.
Hee...*hi-five serene* I am also on leave tomorrow.
aquarius_888
New Member
welcome kaka!
cecilialim
Active Member
argh! make me wanna take leave also... HB on leave today, kaoz... woke up with a headache...
welcome kaka!
welcome kaka!
minnie_gal16
New Member
Morning Gals!!
Wah... So many of you having a long weekend ah?? *envy* I still gotto entertain Chinamen in my office tom...
Wah... So many of you having a long weekend ah?? *envy* I still gotto entertain Chinamen in my office tom...
cecilialim
Active Member
serene!! wed!!!
i havong kaya toast and char siew bao... sian nothing to eat from my office canteen... wonder how i survived these 3 years eating the same thing again and again
i havong kaya toast and char siew bao... sian nothing to eat from my office canteen... wonder how i survived these 3 years eating the same thing again and again
minnie_gal16
New Member
Serene,
You going for holiday ah?
Ceci,
You also so cham like me... eat in office canteen type... V cham.
You going for holiday ah?
Ceci,
You also so cham like me... eat in office canteen type... V cham.
cecilialim
Active Member
minnie.. ya lor.. morning sure got to eat here unless i get food from home... lunch time we can go out la... got to walk to novena square or united sq there a lot of food to eat...
cecilialim
Active Member
haha tansy ah... stay at office chat lor... you wanna take leave do what?
minnie_gal16
New Member
Hi levynn!!
Ceci, at least you got 2 shopping centres to walk around at lunch. My office here is so ulu... only can walk to the park or to the expressway...
Serene, wah.. enjoy yourselves. I havent been to BKK since 9yrs ago...
Ceci, at least you got 2 shopping centres to walk around at lunch. My office here is so ulu... only can walk to the park or to the expressway...
Serene, wah.. enjoy yourselves. I havent been to BKK since 9yrs ago...
ok, we noe liao serene, dun keep reminding us....we envy and jealous liao ;-p
poor me, i will be hm alone for the long wkend, parent and bro gng genting, sis gng pantong island, hubby will be buzy studying for exam, left me wif my baobei (heng still got her) to xiang yi wei ming.....
poor me, i will be hm alone for the long wkend, parent and bro gng genting, sis gng pantong island, hubby will be buzy studying for exam, left me wif my baobei (heng still got her) to xiang yi wei ming.....
cecilialim
Active Member
serene buy more things hor! kekeke
minnie you work in industrial area ah? i still lucky la... work in orchard, beach road, parkway and now in novena... all at least got something to shop... hehe... don' get me wrong hor, i never job hop a lot, just that my previous job office relocated... first job company went bust becos of the bubble burst.. hehe
minnie you work in industrial area ah? i still lucky la... work in orchard, beach road, parkway and now in novena... all at least got something to shop... hehe... don' get me wrong hor, i never job hop a lot, just that my previous job office relocated... first job company went bust becos of the bubble burst.. hehe
aquarius_888
New Member
hi minnie
Cecilia, my side here canteen food but I can take bus out to suntec, raffles place, cityhall, bugis...got to be more hardworking if want better food.
Cecilia, my side here canteen food but I can take bus out to suntec, raffles place, cityhall, bugis...got to be more hardworking if want better food.
cecilialim
Active Member
ya lor, at least novena sq within walking distance...... lucky most of my cols drive or sometimes i drive, we go out far away for lunch...
cecilialim
Active Member
skylay why you so late?
serene... ya their sports wear cheaper... only in s'pore so expensive...
serene... ya their sports wear cheaper... only in s'pore so expensive...
aquarius_888
New Member
Skylar where you disappeared yesterday?
Tansy, working at kallang...our opi canteen very ke lian one...only got chup cai ben.
Tansy, working at kallang...our opi canteen very ke lian one...only got chup cai ben.
minnie_gal16
New Member
Ceci, so lucky. Me working place in the south-west... Can go HV or Ikea area for lunch... But must take bus go there lah...
Hi Aquarius,
Your workplace also not bad. Can walk to old airport hawker centre for nice food too rite?
Hi Skylar.
Hi Aquarius,
Your workplace also not bad. Can walk to old airport hawker centre for nice food too rite?
Hi Skylar.