Any Brides whose HTB is 'Ang Mo'?

[de_luxe]

Hi Everyone

Wishing all a blessed year ahead!

Liz Thanks for your pics... you both looked great. Hope u have had a nice X'mas & New Year in Holland. When's ur trip to Paris?

Cuclainne U must be very happy to be reunited with ur FH after this long long wait

Pris Do take some time out for yourself, i'm sure you're pretty bogged down with work, wedding n taking care of ur mom.... dun forget to get enuff rest too, else u'll also fall ill...

Been to your website, it's really nicely done up

We're still working on ours, i'm not totally satisfied with the text yet so have to re-write... when's ur FH coming? Must be pretty soon right?

We have not settled the PS yet cuz my co is still negotiating the contract. We intended to use the same photographer for AD & PS. We have confirmed and paid the deposit for the AD photography but explained the situation for the PS, so he's waiting for us to get back to him. Ideally the PS should be done in April but bcuz my co has a huge event going on at that time, we can't do it then & initally wanted to do it in Feb but the BS wasn't keen on doing up the gowns so early (something abt body shape changing & possibilities of yellow spots developing on the WG if kept in the workshop for so long) so we postponed to May. But now if this new contract happens (and it most likely would), even May would be difficult. That's why I've been so fustrated - to a certain extent I can factor in some give and take for work, but this is too much. I guess for now I will take one step at a time and wait to see what happens when the contract is actually signed. If I really have to, I will speak to my boss. After all it's not like I've not made any concessions on my part.

I've not been doing much for the wedding preps, other than getting quotes for the invitation cards & looking around for a JP for the solemnisation. Doesn't seem to be much to do at this pt, hopefully I din overlook anything...

 

[cuclainne]

Priscilla

It must be a trying time for you - having to cope with your mother's illness, with the wedding to plan. Be strong yah ... our prayers are with you.

Yes, I'm very happy now that my FH is here. He arrived last Wednesday morning and worked for two days before the long weekend. He mentioned that he's got some very nice colleagues so that was good to know. Our solemnisation is in 12 days!!! We'll be lawfully wedded by then..

de_luxe

Wah .. you've been busy, girl! Don't stress too much over the job yah ... there's a silver lining to every cloud, i think.

 

[germangirl]

Hello de_luxe,

have you solved your german ROM problem yet?

Maybe I could help you, I am from Germany.

In any case, you will need your birth certificate, a certificate of residence (either from Singapore or from Germany if you are already a resident by then), a valid visa, a certificate, that you are unmarried if this is not stated in your certificate of residence.

These are the documents which apply for all nationalities. The Registry Office might ask for more documents, depends very much on your nationality. All documents need to be translated into German, which might be cheaper to do in Singapore than in Germany.

In some tricky cases (I don´t think it will be thecase with singaporeans) you got to fill a whole lot of forms which are then sent to the German Ambessy in your homecountry, where they will then verify everything - all expenses paid by you, of course :-((

You FH should go to his local "Standesamt" where he will get a list of all documents needed.

If you haven´t found your registry office yet, you can tell me the area where you will marry, I can give you a list of especially nice ROM places - some in castles or just very beautiful houses, purely Cinderella!

 

[de_luxe]

Hallo Germangirl

Welcome and thanks for your help!

FH's mom went to check for us at their Rathaus and there seems to be some complications cuz FH hasn't lived in Germany for the past 6 yrs. I can't find any info abt dat and just got fed up dealing with it so didn't think further abt the German ROM, cuz we kinda figured that the S'pore cert will suffice if and when we decide to move back to Germany.

But if it's really not too much of a hassle, I wouldn't mind doing a simple solemnization, just so that we wouldn't have trouble with the German authorities later if they decide that they dun wanna recognise the S'pore cert...

I've some questions, hope u can help:
- Do u know if the IC is considered a certificate of residence? If it's not, where can I get a certificate of residence?
- Where can I get the cert saying that I'm unmarried, since this is not shown on the IC.
- Valid visa: Does a tourist visa count since we wouldn't be moving to Germany anytime soon?

FH is from Flintbek, near to Kiel. We r thinking of honeymooning in Europe, so can also stop by to do ROM, hahaha... n if the German ROM does happen then it'll be purely a simple civil ceremony at the Rathaus cuz i think we'll be quite broke after the S'pore bash....

Thanks again for your help!! Much appreciated!

 

[de_luxe]

cuclainne... thanks for the encouragement...

 

[germangirl]

Hi de_luxe,

if you already ROMed in Singapore, your certificate should be sufficent for the German authorities. So, no worries!

The law is: the wedding has to be done by the law of the country where it takes place. Basically: if you are legally married in Singapore, you are legally married in Germany as well.

So if you are not planning on living in Germany, you don´t have to do anything! When you apply for a visa, you take your certificate to the embassy, but that you better check with them.

When you want to apply for a residential permit in Germany, you can come in with a tourist visa and then go with the documents to the "Ausländerbehörde". There you get a permit for one year at first, then thea usually extend it for another two years and if you then show a basic knowledge of the German language and you are independent of any governmental payments (sometimes they also want to see that you are holding some kind of employment for some time)
you can apply for german citizenship or a permanent residential permit.

If you would like to have another ceremony, like a religious church ceremony, you need to have ROMed somewhere, before it is legal to do so...

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hallo ladies,

Sorry! Have been MIA for a while! Busy!

X'mas and New yr were great, spending time with Jeroen's family and going for mass in church. Watching their slides of their childhood days.
BTW, wishing everyone a happy new year. Hope not too late to wish all of u!

Glad for u Cuclainne that yr ah boy is here and soon u are getting married! Yeah! Gal! Happy for u!

Deluxe, thks for the compliment. watch the video my friend sent yesterday. brings back great memories and special messages from my family and relatives in the video.
hope everything works out well for u! Relax ya gal!

Welcome German gal!

Priscilla, hope yr mum is better. I can only find work after June when i get my visa i think so called PR. Study probably in Sept if I'm accepted after audition. So see how things go. Will attend the workshop in Feb in the dance school.

I went to Paris last weekend and stayed at Denise's apartment. Finally get to meet Denise n her other half. Very nice couple! Stayed there for a night. Managed to visit a few places of interest.

Will write again! Have to go and do some reading! Till then!

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Ladies, just couldn't resist joining in this thread, if you've been away from SG for more than 4 years and live in a small village where you're the only Asian (never mind only Singaporean) you will know how nice it is to come across people who would understand your Singaporean lingo! Wish I had come across this forum when I was planning my wedding last year as it would have been so lovely to journey with others in a similar situation, even though technically, I'm not a European wife! Seperated from the continent by the North Sea/English Channel

.

How's all your plans coming along? Hope that you are doing well and not too stressed with it. I had only 10 months to plan mine and I was writing my thesis at the same time but its all over now (Thank God! Exams, wedding everything) though I've got to credit my husband for doing most of the work. I got married last October in England but at the insistence of my parents we also had a thanksgiving mass/renewal of vows in S'pore in December. We had to do it this way even though finances were tight, as my PIL were too elderly to make the long journey to S'pore and his bro/sis had 7 children between them so they couldn't afford it even though they wanted to. We kept our wedding fairly simple, we had our nuptial mass in my husband's parish church and the reception in the village hall which is used by the village primary school as a school canteen. Quite a bit of DIY, had to arrange chairs and tables ourselves. We made our own decorations and even grew our own flowers in the garden just specially for our wedding. We didn't have a car, no MUA etc. it was fun though as it gave our wedding a more personal touch.

BTW, for anyone who's interested especially if your marriage is going to be registered overseas like mine, you can update your 'single' status to 'married' if you go to ICA. I went there to add in my married name to my I/C and passport and the lady at the counter updated everything (including my educational qualification). But you have to inform CPF, banks and govt bodies etc of your 'new name' as it is not automatically updated in the govt database unlike a change in address! Alternatively, I think you can update through the high com but I didn't do that as I knew I was coming back to S'pore in Dec but I don't think it matters very much when you do it. Guess you could always do it when you next go to S'pore (but thought better to change it soon as CPF nomination is invalidated after marriage). So I was basically a 'Miss' for 2 extra months even though I was legally married since the beginning of October!

Elizabeth, do you know if you need to get your baptism cert re-issued at least 6 months before your church wedding? The priest told me that I needed a 'new cert' so my mum had to go to the church that I was baptised in as I wasn't in S'pore at that time, she had to send me a copy to give to my husband's parish priest. Anyway, hope you are coping well with the winter weather. Takes a bit getting used to as it gets dark very early. But never mind brighter days will soon follow.

And to all of you still in Sunny Singapore ... make the most of it while you're still there! After marriage, it suddenly hit me that my life is never going to be the same again, S'pore is no longer my home! My life is tied to this man whom I have promised to love and cherish. Whenever I can go back to S'pore it will only be for short holidays never long term. Don't get me wrong, I love my hubby and our life together; just that when you've been away for a long while, there will be days when you miss home and everyone whom you hold dear and it can be ...oh so hard!

Take Care Everyone ... wherever you are!
Love & God Bless
Sx

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi Mrs Ng,

Welcome to our thread! Which country are u staying now? Are u also a Catholic?

Ya! We went for the EE in Singapore and there mentioned it but my fiance said don't think his parish church needs it. I still got the new baptism cert done and brought it to Singapore. My Godma collected and brought it to the airport before I flew off.

So far I'm coping well with the weather but it can get real cold. BTW, Singapore has been a rainy season. My mum told me and can be pretty cold too.

So interesting I read how u prepare for your wedding is pretty similar to mine. Planning to hold it in the canteen of a school my fiance's dad works in. So great!

Do u have an msn where we can chat sometime? Mine is [email protected].

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Elizabeth

I'm now living in the UK and yes, I am also a Roman Catholic. Looks like we have quite a lot in common. I know a village hall/school canteen isn't that glam but we wanted our day to be more of a get together for family and friends and a testimony of God's love for us rather than a glam show. It was fun, and very informal - reflected very much our chin-chye personality. We also had a ceilidh band or barn dance for evening entertainment.

Like you, went for EE weekend too but in England. I ask my husband's parish priest the reason about the 'new' baptism cert and he said that it was to prove that you've not been married in church before. After our marriage he told me that he sent a letter to the church where I was baptised in S'pore and inform them that I got married in the UK so that they'll keep their records updated. It might be the same in Holland as Catholic Church rules are pretty much universal. But no worries, at least you've got your cert with you should your priest ask for it.

Oh yes, my dad told me that it had been rainning heavily in S'pore at the moment. But to me everywhere is sunny as long as it doesn't have ground frost! Woke up this morning and it was white!

Holland can be cold too. We went via Amsterdam on our way to S'pore in December and it was 5°C colder than it was in Manchester.

Unfortunately, I don't have msn only yahoo and skype.

But would love to keep in touch.

Mrs N (aka Sharon)
[email protected]

 

[cuclainne]

Sharon

Welcome to the thread!!!

Elizabeth

Really nice to hear that things are going well for you. And you got to meet Denise, imagine that!

One more day to the wedding! I got my bridal henna done last night so it's really nice this morning. Ah Boy's mom and companion came down so I know that he's feeling happier to see familiar faces.

Ok ladies, will be busy busy busy today and tomorrow. I'm sitting in an airconditioned room and am sweating!! Sigh! Speak to you laters!

 

[zierella]

Hi ladies,

Can I know if any of your FH is American, and if so, did any of you applied for any fiancee/spouse visa? I'm kinda stressed out with the wedding prep and this visa thingy is gonna add more to the stress...ughhh! Is it true it can take as long as 6 months for it to be approved? I know i will need to take medical checkups etc...any advice? will really appreciate it, thanks!

 

[mrs_n]

Thank you Cuclainne. Hope your wedding day turns out to be what you've been dreaming of. I can understand your H2B's sentiments as I felt the same myself can be quite intimidating when you are not familiar with the local customs and very reassuring to have familiar faces around. It was a reversal of roles when we came down in December, I was on home ground and he was not, though he didn't seem to mind that none of his family was present.

Zierella, maybe you can check the US embassy website for that info.

I've read a few of the old threads and there was someone asking about german wedding traditions. Don't know if you have found out anything about it yet but thought this website might help. I've used it quite often when I was planning my wedding here. Although it is mainly British, there's quite an international crowd on it and I've seen quite a few girls from the continent (French, German, Italians etc etc) and even Americans posting on it. Just the other day, someone was asking about greek wedding traditions. So maybe if you put your question on there, someone will reply if they know the answer. Or if you are competent enough in German or French, scroll to the bottom of the page and click international, as there are sister sites for frech and german brides.

http://www.confetti.co.uk/

BTW Zierella, you can pose your question on this website too. Quite a few british girls have American fiances. Don't know if the application process will differ with nationality, but still no harm in asking for someone's honest opinion.

Have a good day.
Sx

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi Sharon,

I've skype too. I've two user ID. Use this one instead from my fiance. It's usu on for that user ID. It is jeroen4lizonly. What's yrs? I notice u've google email. Do u have google talk? I've yahoo, msn, google and skype, my friends used all different ones but usu I don't log online for yahoo. Mainly msn, google and skype.

Ya! My fiance's family wasn't there too when we had our engagement in church. Too expensive to fly them down and mum is afraid of flying.

Congrats Cucluainne! Wow! You must be so excited! The day has come! Ya!

Welcome Zierella! I've an ex-colleague who went to US, not sure about the prodedure and I don't keep in touch with her. Ya like what Mrs Ng said just post on the thread. Call the embassy in sg to check too. I went down personally to the Dutch embassy to ask for more details and get your FH to check in US as well. Good luck!

 

[germangirl]

German Wedding Traditions for all:

The day before the wedding, all friends of the couple throw a party bringing old crockery (basically everything made of porcelain). In the end they smash it on the floor.That part is supposed to scare away evil spirits. Then, the bride- and groom-to-be get to clean up, to symbolize the start of a life with doing things (work) together. Smashed porcelain is also supposed to bring good luck, while smashed glass or even a mirror means bad luck...

We throw rice when the couple steps out of church or the registry office, hoping it will bring good luck and, hum, fertility ;-)

In some regions we paint a big heart on a bedsheet, which bride and groom have to cut out, one side each - another thing about doing things together. Then they step through the heart, hand in hand, into the new life together.

Now it gets tricky: in some regions they have to saw a tree trunk in half! Now that´s overcoming obstacles and more working together!

When we drive from the church/Registry Office to the reception venue, we form kind of a parade, all the cars have ribbons tied to their antennas and everybody honks their horns. The other people on the street then answer by honking their horns. (One of the very few times to legally honk your horn without immediate danger!)

In the southern regions of Germany, the friends of the groom "kidnap" the bride, go to a pub/restaurant and the groom has to find them. The longer it takes him, the higher the bill he has to pay at the pub!

To open the dancing, bride and groom dance the wedding waltz alone, with all the guests forming a large circle around them. The next dance is a waltz also, for everybody to join, While the bride dances with her father and the groom with his mother-in-law.

Then there are games like bidding on the brides garter which are quite international, no?

Do you have anything similar?

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Elizabeth

Will add you to skype. My skype id is sadesouza. Hope to chat with you sometime. I don't use googletalk as most of my family & friends are on yahoo. So my computer (or rather my husband's) is set to log on automatically to both of these. Anyway, I read somewhere that yahoo and msn will be intergrating sometime this year just not sure when.

Hi Germangirl, the German wedding traditions sound very interesting. Nice to know something about the Germans though as my great-grandfather was German.

Sx

 

[denisek]

Hello Everyone

Wishing you ladies a very Happy New Year! Sorry that my greetings came so late! But better late than never! ;-p Hope you ladies had a good Xmas and NY celebrations.

I had a good Xmas with Laurent's family, the traditional french way. It was nice to see all the family again gathering during this festive season. Just that it was rather cold! Lots of nice food cooked by his mum, really non-stop feasting! Now I am wondering if I can still fit into my gown for my 1st fitting in end Feb! Perhaps must go on diet.

I had been missing on the tread as was really busy with the festive season as well as juggling work, wedding preparations etc all at the same time. I will be going back to Spore for CNY (finally!), have been trying to buy stuff for my family & friends for their requests.

I seen many newcomers on this tread! Welcome to Mrs N & Germangirl.

Seems like our main problem is always getting our visa done in our respective european countries! I had my share of big problems too with the french administration. Always end up very angry and fuming after hours of waiting and they are always very rude to us,treating us like slaves or even 'aliens'. Well cant do anything but to bear with it. Hope the German & Dutch administration officers are better.

Cuclainne - Hey Congrats on your big day!! You must be very nervous and excited! Please tell all of us how everything goes! And please do send us pixs too!

Deluxe - How's your preparations coming along? Hope everything's coming along fine despite the hiccup of your work schedule clashing with your wedding. Have you also decided on your gown?

Hope you can eventually do without the registration of your wedding again in Germany. You can get 'Non-married cert' from ROM. You can also request for it from the ROM website, thats what i did and they mailed it to me here. Not sure how it works in Germany, but I had to also translate all these papers into French by an official translator. Problematic!

Priscilla - Keeping my fingers crossed for you that your mum's health will get better. It must be really hard for you plus the wedding preparations etc... Do take good care!

I better go, I think my post is getting too long!

Have a good weekend!

 

[de_luxe]

Hi Sharon welcome to the club

Whereabouts in UK do u live? Know a couple who will be moving to UK in the near future when the guy who's English finishes his PhD.

Congrats Cuclainne on your big day! How was it? Any photos to share?

Hello Denise long time no see... I've decided to go ahead with the photo shoot. Now just need to co-ordinate the date with the photographer & MUA. This is once in a lifetime but I'll have to work the rest of my life, right? Have decided on the gown design but haven't done any measurements yet. When will you be back? We could meet up if you've the time...

Hi Germangirl
Think since the S'pore marriage cert is recognised in Germany then we won't ROM in 2 places, esp since we dun intend to live in Germany in the near future.

I was the one asking abt German wedding traditions.. thanks for sharing! I heard abt the smashing porcelain one but didn't think it would be feasible to do it. Finding tree trunks to saw in S'pore will also be difficult! But the bedsheet thing sounds fun and do-able... We will consider including that into our programme

I wanted to do the 1st dance thingy but FH doesn't seem keen prob cuz he has 2 left feet! I think our German guests will expect this tho, so I dun exactly know how to get around it. The Chinese do have lots of traditions... Wanted to attach an article on Chinese traditions for you but the file is too big. If u're interested, let me know and I'll email it to u.

Tell us a bit of urself... are u living in S'pore?

 

[germangirl]

Ok, about me, mmmhh...

I am actually a wedding planner from Berlin, Germany. When I was working part time during my 3-years mother´s leave I was hunting for fresh ideas and found this forum.

At first I just stumbled into the breast-feeding support thread and I think I scared the gals with the recipe for German breast-feeding tea

Then I was quite busy helping to plan itineraries for honeymoons in Switzerland, since I used to live in Geneva for quite a while.

Now I visit every now and then, not that much time anymore, since I started working full time again. But I did get attached to the forum...

I only visited Singapore once, on my way back from New Zealand and Australia. We didn´t have much time, but I really liked it.

I hope to be traveling into this direction, my husbands oldest sister is living in Hong Kong and my cousin might be moving to Shanghai soon, I keep my fingers crossed!

About smashing the porcelain...some hotels here don´t like that either, for obvious reasons. But mostly they´re okay if you take something like a big, sturdy box to throw the porcelain in. That way it doesn´t damage the floor and it´s not as messy.

Don´t worry about the first dance if you don´t want to do it. Do you usually dance in singaporean weddings? You could just do the usual opening of the dance and tell the Germans it´s a singaporean thing - they will understand...

I would love that article on chinese wedding traditions! My email is: [email protected]

We have another "game" which is usually part of our weddings:

A few girls of the wedding party and the bride take their shoes off and stand on chairs in a row, next to each other. Now the blindfolded groom has to recognize his bride just by touching the feet. (Also works the other way around with the groom and his friends standing on the chairs)

And about ROMing twice, I don´t think it would be even allowed to do a ROM in Germany if you have already done that in Singapore. So no worries!

 

[mrs_n]

Thanks for the welcome, Denise and de_luxe

Hi Denise, sorry to hear about your visa problems with the french admin officers. The red tape can be very frustrating, eh? My application for spouse visa was sent back all because the form was not the latest version. And the only thing new about the latest version was that they added purple lines to the form and wanted to know if the applicant had any terrorist inclinations! I wonder what would have happened if I ticked 'yes' by mistake?

But can't blame them I guess, as every country in the Eu have their own interest to protect. It'll probably be similar for our husbands if they wanted to live in SG. As for being rude well !!! ... Let's put it this way, they've probably not had the delightful experience of a courtesy campaign in france/europe!

Hi de_luxe, I'm living in a village called North Wheatley in Nottinghamshire about 45 mins away from Sheffield. I'm married to a country boy (as my husband calls himself) who has lived there all his life. And I mean it literally as he built his house on his father's garden!

BTW, if your friend hasn't applied for her visa or not married yet, she might consider ROM in S'pore as its cheaper. In England, foreigners have to apply for a Certificate of Approval for Marriage (£135/$390) before they are allowed to get married, and then after marriage a spouse visa (£335/$969) which lasts for 2 years. If one ROM in S'pore, they only need to apply for a spouse visa which will cost about $100+ less than it will in England. Last time I checked the British High Comm website it was $806. If circumstances had allowed me and if I had known better, I would have gotten married in SG, as the money could have been put to better use than donating it to the British Home Office! As it is I would have taken the opportunity to have had my visa done while I was down in S'pore in December, if not for the fact that they deducted part of the fees off my husband's bank account on my first attempt at applying. They expected us to pay the remainder of the fees when we next send in the application form. A bit cheeky when all you get is a note which basically said 'your application cannot be considered b'cos you filled up the wrong version of the form, here are your passports and please send us more money with the new form!' Such is life! Hope I don't sound like a bitter old lady. Just hope someone could learn from my experience and perhaps save some money. After all weddings are expensive and every little bit counts.

Till then ... take care everyone of you.
Sx

 

[zierella]

Hi gals...

Sorry for late reply, i was so busy during the weekend meeting my wedding planner etc..
Yeah i think i found the website for details on the visa, its kinda like a forum...so much info!! hahaha i guess i have to start reading...

 

[gottliebt]

Wow wow, so many ppl have been posting messages! Feel like the whole world has been spinning since the last time i logged in! welcome german girl and Mrs N! Heehee.

Anyways, updates... My mom is still in hospital, not too good, but I've decided to take it one day at a time and trust that God has His plans for her and my family.

Regarding german customs.... my FH and i are going to do the waltz. However, we're wondering if we shd do it at the beginning of the dinner, or at the end. Cos I think we can dance the waltz at the beg. then dance a normal slow dance at the end, when everybody can join in. Plus, the waltz can be a bit of a special performance and we can still have a dance in which everybody can join in at the end. Reason is because chinese dinners tend to start really late, even though I endeavour to start mine at 730pm...but i'm guessing earliest it can start is 8pm.... though I'm still keeping my fingers crossed abt it. Heehee. And there's usually the change of costumes.... so I won't necessary be wearing my WG for the entire dinner....and since I need the WG for the waltz, it would make sense to dance it at the beginning of the dinner. ... and after that I can change to my evening gown......

Oh for the cutting of the heart shape thing, do people normally do it at the church premise or at the dinner premise? Cos I'm trying to figure out how it will work out.

I think I can't do the porcelain thing at the restaurant (for obvious reasons) and I'll consider the rice thing in the church.... but I think my church is quite stringent about making the place dirty...they don't even allow confetti.

Ok, got to go for lunch, cya!

 

[cuclainne]

Denise and de_luxe

Thanks for the wishes. Everything went as planned and we're glad that it's over! Hahahah. The skies cleared up (finally didn't rain) and we had our closest family and friends at the ceremony which was really beautiful. And afterwards, as I was reflecting on the day's events on my own in my room, FH's mother came in and we spent a few moments talking to each other. It's been a bit surreal .. like I can't believe that it's happened but then I see FH wearing the wedding band and it's made me feel very VERY happy! Lol.

 

[mrs_n]

Bless you Cuclainne, you're now married and still refer to your husband as FH

Was the same myself at the beginning, feels a bit like living in a fairytale isn't it? Congrats and may you both be blessed with much happiness.

Priscilla, I read a few of your earlier post and realised how ill your mother was. Will continue to offer her up in prayer (did that on Friday at healing mass for the sick). May God's love be your strength at this difficult time.

Sx

 

[germangirl]

Hi Priscilla,

I think the beginning of the dinner will be fine for the waltz, I´ve seen all kinds of varieties: right after cutting the cake, after dinner, before dinner, after the grooms´ fathers´speech...

Usually the heart thing is done at the church/registry office. First the guests throw rice, then somebody holds up the bedsheet.

But I brang a bedsheet to my friends wedding in the USA and we did it between cake and dinner, when there was a bit of free time.

Here, churches and registry offices also start disliking the throwing of rice, since people tend not to clean up afterwards. Others are concerned for the birds. They eat the rice, which is not good for them at all...So some wedding parties throw bird feed. Don´t know whether that also brings luck and fertility...

 

[gottliebt]

Hi gals

Thanks for your well-wishes. The doctor talked to me and my dad yesterday. He said my mom is not responding to chemo and its gonna be a matter of time. But doc also said if my mom willed herself to be present for my wedding, chances are she'd be able to make it. Cos the doctor has seen a no. of patients who make to a date they set their mind to live until. Its been pretty hard for me.... felt surreal yesterday when doc told me, he wants to meet the rest of the family this coming wednesday(aka tmr) to discuss certain issues. My prayer is mainly that God will uphold my Mom's spirit and soul during this time. She's in a lot of pain, cos the cancer cells are literally eating up her spinal cord, so she's on 24/7 morphine.

Anyways, this is not meant to be a depressive post. I was really upset yesterday but as I prayed with my friend, God reminded me that we're all warriors and even if my Mom is going home, she's going to be a warrior to the end. That the holy Spirit will be her fighting for her.

Yeah, thanks for all your prayers.... I've surrendered my Mom to God. That if He chooses to take her home before 25 feb (my AD), I'll accept it, but in the meantime I'm gonna keep praying that my Mom gets to witness my wedding with as minimal pain as possible. She can't walk or sit properly anymore.

 

[gottliebt]

Oh one question to germangirl....

May I ask if we dance the waltz at the beginning, will it be weird to have slow dance at the end of the dinner again? This is so that other ppl can join in and dance also......

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi my dear Priscilla,

Sorry to hear that yr mum is suffering in great pain. I will continue to keep yr mum, u and yr family in prayers. I lost my late brother, grandma and uncle to cancer. My heart n prayer is with u. Take care gal ya! God bless!

Hi Cuclainne,

Finally! You are married! Yeah! You've waited for the day for so long. You beat me first to it! Ha ha ha...

Send pics ok! I've another 4 plus month more and I'm still taking it easy. Ha ha ha... probably after engagement, a bit relax. We talked a bit on it but haven't planned anything concrete yet.

The other thing is we are discussing whether to shift to another house which is bigger as in this current one we only have a bedroom. If we plan to have kids, we need annother room. We are yet to view the house we saw near the street. Still a question mark? Hmmmm... decision, decision, decision....

Never expect to myself to finally come a day where I've to make decision pertaining to marriage life. Now like a part-time housewife! Never really wash, clean and cook when I stayed with my parents. Now have to think of what to cook, what needed to be cleaned for the day... but so far I'm enjoying it. Maybe coz I'm free to do whatever I like. Hee hee...

Hi Ladies,

I've been reading all your plannings for yr upcoming wedding! Sound so cool and fun! Will keep all of u posted of what we have in mind. Share more ya! And of course the pics and the event!

Got to run again to do housework! Ha!

 

[cuclainne]

Mrs N, hahahaha! I usually refer to my hubby as Ah Boy in another thread on this site so even after the wedding, I can continue calling him that. I suppose I am so used to calling him FH here that it's almost second nature already. Hahhahaha!

Priscilla, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Just let us know if you need someone to talk to, yah.

Elizabeth, I will send pics once I get them from the photographer. At least you have one bedroom - at Ah Boy's home in Sweden, there isn't one. He was living in a loft but we have a nice view of the courtyard cos it is on the ground floor. He's renting it to a friend of a friend but we are thinking of selling it to get a bigger home once we decide when to return to Stockholm. Need the space for the brood, I suppose. Lol

 

[germangirl]

Hi priscilla,

I don´t think it would be weird. My cousin for example had the opening waltz, then everybody dancing until the end of the party. Of course, the dancing got slower in the end.

We had thought up something nice for the last dance:

we bought lots of tea lights, setting them in a large circle in the middle of the dance floor. Then we passed a small candle with a collar sort of thing to prevent wax drippings to every guest.
We had the lights dimmed, all the candles were lit and the bride and groom danced the last dance alone, in the circle of tea lights, with all the guests standing around them holding their candles.

It was so romantic!

So, feel free to do with the dancing what you feel good about!

 

[gottliebt]

Hi gals

Germangirl - I think the idea of dancing in the middle of the tealights is way cool! Ganz toll! Hahah, I'm going to do that for my dinner too, asked the restaurant manager and she's fine with it. =) Yupz.... Happie.... Quite happy to be able to plan for stuff like that in the midst of everything that's going on in my family.

I'm thinking of making a speech in german too and stephan can translate to english while stephan can make a speech in mandarin and I translate to english... hahah, that wld be pretty nice too.......Still thinking of doing a small dance with my frens... for dinner... just a simple dance depicting God's faithfulness in our relationship......will see how it goes......

 

[gottliebt]

oh yeah! Can i take a look at any photos? Cuclaine???? You ROMed already right? You haven't had your formal wedding yet? Or was it done at the same time??? When is your formal wedding?

 

[cuclainne]

priscilla

I think dancing in the middle of the tealights is so romantic. Just be sure to make it a big circle, you wouldn't want your dress to catch fire because you danced too close and the material grazed the flame.

I don't have any photos with me yet - the photographer has yet to get back to me with those. The rest are taken by family and friends and I'm not sure when I'll be able to get those cos most were using film cameras.

Yes, I ROM-ed at my place last Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony which was held in both Malay and English. Ah Boy's mom shed a tear or two cos she thought it was so lovely. After it was all over, I was in my bedroom reflecting on the day's event when she came knocking on the door. We then spent a quiet moment together and I think she felt better knowing how it will be for Ah Boy and me from now on.

We will be hosting a small dinner for immediate family and very close friends on March 24 and the typical Malay wedding will be hosted by my parents at their place on March 26.

I am still confused on whether I should sign my name off as Ms or Mrs. Hahahah.

 

[mrs_n]

Priscilla big (((hugs))) to you. It is hard to see someone you love in pain. What the doc said is quite true - about patients willing themselves to live for a purpose because it was the same for my aunt. The doc told us he didn't understand how my aunt lasted as long as she did and put it down to the prayers of the family. When she was in ICU, we prayed and sang praise songs to her and even though she was sedated, we knew she was listening because her pulse would increase everytime we praise the name of Jesus. God alone knows how difficult it is to praise him in such a situation. But somehow it did her good and it did us good too. Just praising God gave us the strength and faith to trust that he knows best. God Bless you Priscilla for your faith in him and may he continue to hold you, your mum & the rest of your family in the palm of his loving hands. I will continue to pray for you & your love ones. I know it can sound strange coming from someone you hardly know. But 'strange' is pretty much an understatement when I consider all that had happened in the last few years of my life and I truly believe in the power of prayer. God is so amazing.

Oh! Cuclainne! You sound as confused as me!!! Ha! Ha! Not to worry though, after 3 months, I'm still struggling to sign off in my married name which is one reason why I refrain from using any cards from our joint account. As it is, I already had problems signing off properly in my maiden name (got into trouble with the bank once as they thought I was being funny)! Another time, the postman came to our house with registered mail and I printed my married name and signed in my maiden name without realising it. My hubby spotted it when he came back from work and had a good laugh

. Next time, I'd just have to be more careful & think before I sign anything.

Elizabeth, hope the house-hunting is going well. Hope you'll get one with a nice garden

. My hubby has decided to tidy up the 'jungle' in front of our house. Though I don't know how on earth is he going to cut down two 40-year old trees that are taller than our house!

Anyway, ladies all the best with your wedding plans. Till the next time ...

God Bless & Take Care!
Love
Sx

 

[cuclainne]

Mrs N

My hubby told me to go with what I am comfortable with. I was filling up an application form the day after we got married and I was so confused then. So he told me to sign off as Ms for now.

Where in the UK are you staying at?

 

[gottliebt]

Mrs N: Thanks so much for your wonderful encouragement. I've been so blessed just to read your thread and you're so right about "strangers". I also have gone beyond thinking of 'coincidences', cos I know everything is divine-appointed. Your aunt, what illness did she have? And are you sorta living on a farm or something? It sounds like it! 40 year old trees, your husband wanting to cut them down...that's something! So what are you doing now exactly? Are you like a housewife? Or you do some part-time work or something? Do you have pictures or a website or something where you stay? I was thinking of setting up a blog once I move overseas, so its easier to keep in touch, instead of always emailing and having to repeat your story / activities umpteen times.

Cuclainne: Your ROM sounds so cool! So now, you and your ah-boy are considered married right? Cos for Christians, the churhc wedding would be considered the official time of marriage. My fren ROMed for one year, but did not live together with her husband till she had her church wedding. When you have the normal wedding, can my husband and I drop by too? (Husband by that time - it would be march). Never been for a Malay wedding before, would be great to take a look!

OH and anyways, you all are invited to my church wedding..... Definitely would love to have your presence with us......Please let me know if you can come yeah?

 

[cuclainne]

Priscilla

Yes, we are considered husband and wife after we've ROM-ed. Slowly getting used to the married life ... no more going to bed early, no more leaving dishes to be washed in the sink, etc etc etc. It's hard work but we're managing it.

When are you planning on your church wedding? Me and hubby would love to come - we will try, if we have no prior engagements.

Yes, you are welcome to drop by during the Malay wedding reception - as a matter of fact, any of you ladies who are interested in attending .. do let me know yah?

 

[gottliebt]

Cuclainne: Thanks for your invitation! =) Would definitely wanna come if we're not tied down with any urgent stuff or anything. My church wedding is on 25 February 2006 (saturday) at 10am! Sure thing! Do come if you and your hubby can make it.......It'd be great! A number of his friends are flying down from Europe....so there would be about 12 of them, including him 13.... For more details....my website, www.stephanpris.com has details for venue and directions of how to get there.....Let me know if you can come yeah??? =)

Married life - no more going to bed early? I thought married life means going to bed early?? Hahha, my FH is a early-sleeper and riser...I'm like the opposite lah....only get up early cos need to work, if not I can easily sleep till afternoon...esp on saturday....but now trying to wake up early, cos i like to go to the gardens in the morning.......

 

[cuclainne]

Priscilla

Thank you for the invitation - me and hubby will definitely try to come down. His friends are also quite excited that he's moved here - they've been coming by, one after another - for vacations. Hahaha. His mom and companion are leaving this Saturday and on Monday, a friend and his girlfriend will be coming for two weeks. When is your FH flying down - and are you planning on moving to Germany immediately after the wedding?

Nope - so used to having my mother pick up after me when I was living there, you know .. washing dishes, clean house, food ready to eat by the time I come home from work, etc. Now that I'm married, we have to suit each other's schedules. Like I'm the first to rise cos I get into work at 8am and he wakes up as I'm leaving cos he goes to the office at 9.30am. Then usually I come home first, do some house-keeping and laundry, then we'd meet outside cos he finishes work around 7.30-8pm. After dinner, then we'd go home and watch some TV and he's usually doing some programming or chatting with his friends on the laptop till midnight or later. I usually try to go to bed at the same time as he does (he's mentioned that he can't sleep if I'm already in dreamland before him) but sometimes it just gets very tiring. I like to cook but unfortunately I only get to do that during weekends because I'm just so stressed out during the weekdays. Weekends are better because we don't have to wake up early and try to do things at a slower pace.

 

[gottliebt]

Hi Cuclainne....

Wow, its so fascinating to read your post about your married life. I think mine will be pretty different, cos for one thing both of us will not be working during the first few months of our marriage. I've just tendered my resignation today cos we both want to study in the discipleship training school.... with YWAM (youth with a mission)its full-time studying and its starting in 30 March 2006. So in between my wedding and YWAM, we got 1 month for our honeymood and 1 week for me to move out of my flat and take my studio and wedding photos.

We'll be moving to Germany in end August or 1st week September.... As for my Mom, I'm glad that my FH is coming soon and his presence will be able to support me so much. He's coming down next week 28th Jan to be exact. And I'm glad that both of us will be staying in Singapore for the most of this year first before moving to Germany. I'm taking german classes at the moment and really enjoying every minute of it...It's like super fun!

Oh yeah, why does yr Ah-boy say that he can't sleep when you have slept already? That's kinna funny.... What do you work as Cuclainne? And how do you pronounce your name anyways?

 

[mrs_n]

Priscilla: Its true many things in life are divine appointed. And when we look back on incidents, you can't just help but see God's hand in everything. Everything that happened had a purpose or was a lesson to prepare us for God's plans. Sometimes it is not so easy to understand and accept the 'why' immediately, and its only later that the reasons become clearer. Oh, my aunt had colon cancer.

Ok, to answer both yours and Cuclainne's question.

I'm living in a village called North Wheatley in Nottinghamshire. The nearest town is about 15mins away by car and is called Retford. The nearest city is Sheffield about 45 mins drive. Wheatley is made up of 2 villages (North and South) seperated by a big playing field. Its quite a big village about 500+ houses altogether (could be more) with a shop-cum-post office, a primary school, a methodist chapel, a local Anglican parish church, a pub and a village hall. Pretty much a typical English village except that it also has tennis courts in the village playing field. It is also a farming village. There are quite a few farms in the village growing wheat, barley as well as fruits. In the summer months, many Eastern European students come to the village to work for the farmers mainly by picking strawberries. Much of the countryside surrounding the village is just basically farmland. However, I don't live on a farm but you are not far off Priscilla. In fact the land which my PIL bought to build their house was originally a farm and my husband told me that when he was a child, their next door neighbours were farmers and had a herd of cows! The farmer retired years ago and moved away so no more farm next door. My husband built his house on a portion of his father's (now his brother's) garden. The trees in the jungle were originally planted by my FIL but we've decided to cut two, one is dying and the other is growing into the telephone wires. They are not the tallest ones but still very much taller than the ladder my husband intends to use! Oh we shall see. I just hope it doesn't fall onto our neighbour's house!

You can glimpse a few pictures of our house and jungle in the 'unprofessional' shots of our wedding: http://community.webshots.com/user/sha298

At the moment, I'm pretty much a housewife. I just finished my phd last Nov and am waiting for my spouse visa to be approved so that it'll enable me to work full time. I was working part-time for a disabled couple when I was living and studying in Sheffield but has since given up that job after moving here. After my wedding last Oct, I was busy trying to finish up my thesis and then studying for my exam in Nov. Now that its all over, I'm pretty much more relaxed and quite enjoy being a housewife. Though I quite fancy doing some voluntary work or part-time job however, getting around is quite a problem as the village is quite isolated and without a car, I'm pretty much stuck at home all day. Could get a bike I suppose, would take half an hour into town and probably an hour back (village is on a hill)!

Wish could be around for both your wedding (Priscilla) and '2nd' wedding (Cuclainne) but whatever it is hope both of you will have a lovely day. And if you're ever in the UK, you (& hubbies of course) are most welcome to visit me in N. Wheatley (plenty of room in our house and .... also in the garden).

Take Care & God Bless!
Sx

 

[de_luxe]

Hallo!

Wow lots to read...

Thanks for the invite priscilla & cuclainne. Will let u know if we're coming.

cuclainne i'm practising using his surname already! hahahaa... our yahoo account is registered under his surname. Think he was quite amused by that

Mrs_N.. where you live sounds rather similiar to my FH's hometown (err.. village) & some of the places I've lived in in France. I do miss places like this, m not a big fan of cities.

Germangirl think we'll do the rice throwing & bedsheet thing

my mom seems quite keen... hahaha... asked the hotel for permission just now for the rice throwing. Let's see what they say. I think our German guests expect to have all night long dancing... which unfortunately doesn't happen here. Haven't decided wat to do, esp when FH has 2 left feet on the dancefloor!!!!

We finally got on with our wedding preps.. confirmed the WG design & got measured this morning. Also decided to screw work & make my personal life a priority so we're going ahead with the PS...

at the rate things r going at work, i'm starting to seriously consider leaving, even if it's just before the wedding.

Have to start researching on EG designs. Haven't even decided wat style to go for yet, haha... cheong sum, normal evening dress or ao dai...

BTW, do any of u have plans for honeymoon? Care to share? We tot of going to some places in Europe, maybe Dublin, Prague/Budapest & a beach place... just not sure abt the $$$ yet. I also like Vietnam and Cambodia.. & heard that a new Four Seasons resort in Northern Thailand is opened...they have only 15 tents (no hotel rooms) and it's looks really nice but FH seems not too keen...

 

[cuclainne]

Priscilla

Yes, married life is indeed very different. When I was in Stockholm last year for two months, it was a very leisurely life for me. When Ah Boy was at work, I was at home - either cooking or watching TV. Some days when I was feeling rather adventurous, I would grab my guide book and explore the city on my own. Being married is definitely no holiday!! Hahahaha..

My hubby said we must go to bed at the same time because he likes to talk a little first before going to sleep. If I was already unresponsive, he said he feels a little 'deserted' and finds it a bit harder to fall asleep. I work at the children's hospital here and cuclainne is just my nick here .. my real name is Nisa.

Mrs N

Saw the photos at the link. You really look radiant on your wedding day ... I wish I could live in a place such as yours but my hubby is very much a city person. He said he'd get bored in two weeks living in a small town or village. Guess we will have to make do with just vacationing in the countryside.

Yes, we will definitely try to meet up with you and your hubby when we are in the UK next.

de_luxe

Nice to hear that your preparations are coming along smoothly.

We are planning to go to Cambodia or Hong Kong for the honeymoon. Well, we want to go to both places this year so it really doesn't matter which one we'll decide on as the official honeymoon venue. We will also be going back to Stockholm in June and again during winter. Brrr ... Slovenia is a nice place to visit, though I think Singaporeans only get 14 days visa-free visit there.

 

[liz4jeroen]

Hi Ladies,

Have been reading your postings. Very interesting to read about the preparation, ideas and marriage life. Been very busy so far with lots of decision making.

My wedding has to be delayed till August as we found out that we have to marry in the law first before the church one. We have to get permission to marry in the law from the immigration. Yet to find out more details on it whether it can done now or after the I obtain my PR here. The other also need to save up. Broke after the engagement. Ha ha ha...

At least it gives us more time to prepare ourselves more emotionally, mentally and spiritually and get to kow one another's habits better before marriage.

No doubt it's tough that we have to leave separately now. Patience!

Will keep all of u posted! Sorry I realise I didn't answer some of the questions asked from the earlier posts. Peiseh! Will fill in the details again another round! I will still continue to read even though I may not write often. MIA! Ha ha ha...

All the best to Deluxe, Prisicilla n Cucluainne for yr upcoming wedding! Must be so excited!

 

[mrs_n]

Hi Elizabeth

Its tough to delay the wedding, yah? When you love each other so much you just want to be married quickly. Was the same for me too. Had to change my wedding date twice!!! Shared that story on the Catholic brides thread. Never mind, it'll turn out to be a blessing in the end.

At least, you'll have a higher chance of warmer weather and more sunshine in August. Besides, if you're DIYing your reception in the school canteen, August is school holidays isn't it? So probably can tidy the place up after the wedding at a more leisurely pace.

Your application for permission to marry sounds a lot like the UK. The initial visa which one applies from the high comm in s'pore is only an entry clearance to enter the country as fiancee. Once the person is in the country, an application must be submitted to the home office for permission to marry. Only when the certificate of approval is received, the person has to go and see the registrar of marriages within 3 months and marriage must take place within 6 months after seeing registrar. If no marriage within this time, then need re-apply and pay more money again.

All this immigration policy is problematic and expensive on us poor foreign wives! It could probably be similar in Netherlands. Though I thought you had to be married first before they give you the PR? Anyway, I'm sure all will be well. If they let you into the country, they shouldn't have any problem giving you permission to marry.

Hi de_luxe
Where were you living in France? Were you working there?

Hmmm ... let's see, we didn't go for a honeymoon immediately after our wedding in October. Me was too busy with exams and also saving money to go back home in December. So our honeymoon was mainly S'pore (ooo how exciting)

but we managed a week in KL and Penang. So compared to everybody else, ours was pretty non-exotic at least for me. But my hubby enjoyed it, as it was his first to KL and Penang.

Are you going to have a post wedding celebration in Germany? Maybe save your honeymoon till you make a trip to europe? How about Poland, next door neighbour to Germany? My huband went there a few years back for a friend's wedding and he said it was nice. Apparently it is also quite cheap in comparison to the rest of western europe.

I've been to Dublin. Nice for a weekend but didn't fancy staying longer, probably the irish countryside would be better. As for beachy places in europe, well, maybe somewhere near the North Sea!

Just kidding. How about breaking your honeymoon into 2 parts, do the beachy place nearer home (like in malaysia) and save your pennies for a longer one for a nice trip to europe?

Thank you Cuclainne. We had a nice wedding, yup even enjoyed the rain! You got to post up your wedding pics too. Did you & hubby get to wear an elaborate costume? I used to enjoy watching Malay weddings out of my flat windows. Kind of interesting to watch the bridegroom and his party coming for the bride. Nothing of that here unfortunately but that's the way life is.

Sx

 

[cuclainne]

Mrs N

Me and the hubby have been to Belfast for a few days last year (to visit a friend and her hubby) and on hindsight, should have gone down to Dublin as well. But Belfast is beautiful, even if it did rain most times while we were there. At one point of time, we even shared the same view that we wouldn't mind living in this 'rugged' country.

Yes, we wore the elaborate costumes during the solemnisation ceremony. We both wore two costumes each and another two pairs at the wedding. My whole package costs $1000 which is a complete bargain!! The hubby took some getting used to wearing the costumes cos he's not used to such elaborate get-ups but in the end, he got into the groove of things.

 

[cuclainne]

Ladies

I found this site while looking for accommodation for hubby's dad and family, for their vacation in Tioman. http://www.japamalaresorts.com It looks so beautiful that I've proposed to hubby to have our honeymoon here. Hahahaha ..

 

[pinkbunny]

hi ladies,

i couldn't resist joining this thread! FH is canadian, i'm singaporean. we're in singapore now. it's so nice to have a group of people who probably have gone through the same thing!

have you all gone through your wedding ceremonies yet? mine's in april this year (preps are lousy though!).

 

[cuclainne]

Hi Pink Bunny

My hubby is Swedish and we're living in Singapore right now. We got married on 14 Jan 2006 so it's still 'honeymoon' phase for us.

Don't worry about the preps. I was in the same way because hubby only arrived 2 weeks before the wedding but thankfully everything turned out smoothly for the solemnisation event. My wedding dinner and Malay-styled wedding lunch will be held in March.

Tell us more about yourself and FH.

 

[pinkbunny]

hi cuclainne,

congratulations!

we'll be having just one wedding here for now. date's been set for 1st april this year. can i ask if you are chinese, and if so, did you go through customary stuff like wedding dinner (and yam seng) and fetching the bride and tea ceremony? and if you fly his friends and family over? gulp... skal!