Discussion in 'A Meeting Place For All Brides' started by bao_bao, Jun 1, 2004.
Hee... it will be great to share our experiences in wedding planning. Anyone?
One more try. Anyone?
my hubby (already ROM, 12June actual day) is not ang mo, but Australian Chinese. He was born and bred there, so can be considered ang mo?
Actually, there is a similar topic already started in the forum but I just can't find it yet...
I am surprised to see two replies.. hee..
Well, the guy doesn;t have to be ang mo, I just wanted to share experience with brides whose HTB is from the western culture. I guess 'ang mo' is an easier term.
So is your AD this year or next? My AD will be on 12 March next year. My FH is from NZ, quite close to yours- all down under. We are having a traditional chinese dinner here followed by a reception in Auckland. Yourself?
Hi Chin Leng,
There is a thread already? I will be interested to read it..
Yea...so your HTB is caucasian? I love my hubby so much cos he has a combination of both eastern and western characteristics and values.
My AD is next Saturday! Hee Hee...I'm really excited. His parents are here for the wedding already. They're quite modernised, and my parents understand. We did not follow the traditions closely, especially for Guo Da Li. My parents did not demand all the traditional stuff too, like pig's trotters and all those stuff. Actually i never bother to find out all these traditional stuff we are supposed to get.
The parents pretty much leave all the decision to us, as long as we're happy.
We have a traditional wedding dinner and back in OZ, we will have an informal BBQ for all friends and relatives.
Hi Baox2 and Fern,
My sis FH is a Canadian and Indian mixed (west n east). He is currently working in Wellington, NZ. I have told her about this thread. As she is busy preparing her exams so I see see look for her lor.
Wedding plans end 2005.
A traditional wedding in Singapore is a must. Then it is either NZ and Canada OR NZ and India as parents in Canada while grandparents in India. They only want a simple and personal affair. What about yours ?
btw will you be moving to Australia or NZ after your wedding ?
Hi Chin Leng,
I also couldn't find the thread.
I am excited for you, next Sat! You must have prepared for a long time already? Are you having a chinese wedding dinner? Will you be moving down permanently?
So how did you meet your hubby? Is he working here? Luckily your parents are quite open, I am sure the planning was smooth for you guys.
So how did you manage to arrange the bbq reception for your friends? Pardon me, er... where/what is OZ?
Are you getting married yourself? You are so nice to reply for your sis.
Sorry, are your sis and u chinese or indian? Dun mean to be rude, just would like to know better. So your sis is going to have a wedding here, and reception in Wellington, Canada or India. Wow, that's very international..Will logistics be difficult to coordinate?
As for me, I am a chin as most 'non-chinese' will say. ha.. Doing the traditional thing here, but a simple reception,probably in a vineyard back in Auckland. My future in laws are organising that for me, so I just have to worry about the stuff here. Very excited though it is quite a few months away.
Oh Fern, miss that out, my FH is a Caucasian!
I had married for about 2 years. Me and sis a chinese.As she is my only sis so must help her out. I have been logging this website pretty often lately as I am also helping my parents on their reno since she is busy with her exams. hee..hee happen to see this thread so reply lor.
They prefer a simple wedding affair. Only prefer to hold one here (for relatives and friends) and Wellington (friends and colleagues) but his elderly prefer to host another one. Seriously, if it will be in India, it will be a few days affair. I am suggesting to her to hold in Canada but wear a white Indian sari as a wedding dress instead. It is a simpler affair compare holding it in India. Anyway, a lot of her wedding stuff is not finalised yet. Guess they still have some time. Ya, in terms of logistics, it is a headache. Guess, she will start to look into her wedding preparations end this year.
a little bit more about me...me and hubby met last year. In Novemeber, we decided to get married. It was like "Ok, we think we're ready to get married right". My hubby didn't like get down on one knee and propose, although he did make up for it later on! Hee hee...
So we began planning everything in Dec. In Mar, we went to ROM to register our marriage. After that, we started to look around for hotel venues. We did not take up a bridal studio package, so we did everything ourselves. I tailor made my gown, and his suit also custom made. Photographer also sourced ourselves. Really every little thing, from makeup artists/hairstylist down to my wedding accesories, i had to source ourselves.
It's really tiring doing wedding planning, but my hubby is supportive and i enjoyed it.
At the same time, I'm also doing some immigrations procedures as we will be going back to Australia after the wedding, to stay permanently.
As for the BBQ reception in Aus, we haven't planned that one yet, as it is def going to be fuss free one, where everyone gets to let their hair down and have lots of fun. I will get the chance to meet all my hubby's friends, neighbors, relatives, etc.
Haha...sorry for the long story...
Btw, if you are interested, I can send you the link for our wedding photos...just leave me your emails.
the logistics for your sis's wedding sounds like a big headache! Not to mention the expenses! Who is footing the bills?
Hi Fern & JW,
Sorri, didn't see this thread among the active ones and kind of forget to reply.
Fern: My email address: firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to see your photos.
You going back to Australia for good? Is your husband staying in Australia? What does your parents think? My parents is getting panicky about this and we are calming them saying that it won't happen for the next few years.
I am impressed that you organised the whole wedding yourself. Must be tiring, but i guess it is more personalised and satisfying that you have your owm touch in everything.
Count down to this Sat! Sooo exciting. Are you working now?
You are still a nice sister. So abt your sis, have they rom already? I believe that your future brother-in-law must be quite exotic good looking. What is he working as in NZ?
Hi Fern, I am also doing DIY for wedding. can you share with me your contacts where you did your gown, photos and makeup? how was your experience with them? I am looking for someone to do my gown, but i'm not sure who to look for.as for makeup artists, they are usually very expensive
Hi Baobao...sorry i was so busy with my wedding that i didn't see your post. I will send the link to you in a while.
My wedding was over on 12June at the Carlton, everything went perfectly. It was the best nite of my life. We give all the glory to God. My hubby sang a self composed song to me on stage, and it left a dew of our guests in tears. He then delivered a very touching speech on why he loves me so much and how he thinks we're perfect for each other. By the way, i also have the some of the wedding dinner photos will send to you as well!
Hi Huiling, I will send you some contacts. Pls leave me your email address. I have very good things to say about my makeup artist! I can also give you contacts for my photographer.
Bao bao...forgot to answer your other question...
we're actually planning to move back to Australia this coming sept. My parents are sad of course. But they have been very supportive, hope that i will have a better life in Australia. Seeing how much my hubby loves me, they trust him to take good care of me over there.
Thank you for your contacts! please email to email@example.com
pls note the digit in my email addy 06062006
I am very keen to know about where you made your gowns, your MUA & photogaphers! do you have any pics to share?
Your wedding sounds wonderful! Happy for you that you found the man to spend the rest of your life with
you've got mail.....
thanks. Pls chk ya email regarding the magazines. Hope they are still in good condition!
Can send me your contacts for the wedding? Like make up artist and phtotgraphers etc. If possible can send me your wedding pics, would like to see your photos. Thks.
My email : firstname.lastname@example.org
is this thread still alive? i'm desperate for help
Yes it is, hopefully....I just surfed on here today and saw all this.
Headache all round, but FH is supportive and sporting enough
Hi gals, just saw this thread again today...hmm, owes fond a long overdue email....
melanie and tootsieroll, I married an Australian chinese. Our parents were really understanding and pretty much left everything up to the both of us.
We kept the chinese tea ceremony, but did away with the really traditional stuff like some of the other brides were talking about in here.
Si dian jin? an chuang? I really dun know what they are. Also no praying to idols or ancestors even though my parents are taoists.
Oh yah, my mum also cooked Tang Yuan for us. And my family was watching us eat and saying the nice things as we eat and feed each other, such as "Yuan2 yuan2 man2 man4" "Tian2 Tian2 Mi4 Mi4" and "Zhao sheng gui zi" that kind of thing. i had to explain to him what it all means and it was kinda nice too.
We had a small wedding banquet of about 120people only, close friends and relatives only. It was more ang mo pai dinner, no Yum Seng involved. No saboing of the groom or friends trying to make him drunk and so on...hee hee...
Hmm, so what else do you need to know?
fern, thank you so much ... so nice to know that you had a lovely wedding. where did you hold it?
i'm very lucky that my parents are not demanding so we have free rein. thing is my BF is canadian and i want to avoid kaypoh relatives saying 'aiyah marry ang mo that's why don't need to do all this is it?' i would like a cozy solemnization, no wedding banquet. tea ceremony is a must!!
I had my dinner at the Carlton hotel. For ROM, we didn't have any celebrations, just met everyone at the registry.
In the begining, I had some worries too, especially cos I wasn't inviting th entire family to my wedding, no parents friends etc etc...
But i kept thinking, this is OUR wedding, not my parents' and i don't want to have any regrets after that. But of course, you two should sit down together with the family to talk things thru. Not to make them feel left out or disrespcted.
we're lucky that our families (yours and mine) are understanding!
thanks for your help, i feel more 'pang sim' now
I am also married to a caucasian. Just wondering, did any of you execute a deed poll to take on your husband's surname?
did you do it? what is your husband's nationality? I am not married yet but BF is German, all the above very interesting infor.
Hmm, does anyone know how long the non-singaporean partner has to be in Singapore before they're allowed to partake in a marriage ceremony?
oh no i'm getting scared now again ... what's a deed poll?!
Heather, unless you live in singapore, you might not need a deed poll to change your lastname.
My hubby's french but we're living in canada at the moment and i'm using his lastname without formally changing it in singapore. Almost all my legal documents, e.g Social insurance and so forth are using his lastname.
Melanie, a deed poll is a legal documentation for change of name.
does your husband happen to be french-canadian, from quebec? that's where my boyfriend's from and apparently there, many women continue using their maiden names
I'm toying with the idea of a double barreled surname now....somehow it looks/sounds weird
my sister's non-singaporean partner came to singapore a week before the wedding solemnization took place at ROMM. they also had time to undergo a marriage preparation course (a pre-requisite for all muslim weddings) albeit express, of course.
As long as u're a Singaporean/PR, there is no minimum time that your non-Singaporean spouse has to be in Singapore.
However, since both of you have to verify your identity & make the Statutory Declaration at ROM a couple of days before the solemnisation, I think it may be advisable for your HB to be in Singapore at least a week before the wedding. Hope this helps!
Hallo girls, I just joined today though I have been reading this message board for the longest of time. My FH is French, and we are getting married in Jan 05 Singapore and another ceremony in France June 05.
I am a bit freaked out with the simultaneous preps.
Anyway, my helpful contribution is -- if you wanna know about stupid registration procedures you can ask me about them, because we are going throught the painful process of registering our marriage at the French Embassy now.
If anyone else out there would like to share their experiences about 2-country and billingual weddings, especially to another French dude, I am ALL EARS!
Congratulations on your coming wedding.
My husband's french and we had our wedding in france. all registration and ceremony etc were in french. we did not do a ceremony back in sg since we're both living in canada and going back to france for the wedding was already a hassle. I cannot imagine planning 2 weddings offsite.
I did most of the planning offsite and only took 1 trip back to france 4 months before the wedding to confirm the reception location, did my hair trial, book the makeup, go for the medical checks, blood test etc.
for the wedding, we did not bother to do a bilingual ceremony though more than half the guest did not understand french. it was a small wedding but our guests were from singapore, france, australia, UK, Greece.
During the wedding dinner, my hubby gave a short speech in french and english and made me do one in mandarin! it was embarrassing for me cos my mandarin is utterly crappy.
some of our friends who got married in sg, (french and singaporean - we know of another 3 couples), basically have the service/ceremony in english. only the speeches were in different languages.
where is your ceremony in france going to be?
The ceremony in France will be in June 05. So I am looking forward to that one. Did you have to do tea ceremony and stuff in Singapore? The timing of mine is pretty nuts.
I am too geting married in Jan 05, however to a British. Our plan is to do the deed step by step although Im sure not always correct as we find out new things seem to crop up along the way. We are doing the whole ceremony and reception in Spore.
After this part is over, we'll worry about the ceremony and/or reception in England for August 05.
But after all this hassle of planning for the Spore ceremony, do we still have to do another ceremony in England since it is just a civil ceremony?
Or are the two ceremonies more of a personal choice as opposed to a legal one?
Am I making sense? Anyone out there have any experiences/thoughts on this?
And yes, I have to change my surname (which Im rather objecting but with no choice due to some circumstances)so what is this deed poll??
i did not have anything done in sg since our wedding in france was witness by both his and my families and friends. My best friends from singapore and family flew over to france for a week for the wedding.
Which part of France will your wedding be held?
We decided that having one wedding was enough since both the immediate families attended the wedding. all the legalities were handled in France as well and if we were to have something in sg, it's not quite the same. two ceremonies are definitely a personal choice. For me, I checked that Singapore definitely recognise the marriage cert from france and there is no need to register the marriage again.
Our plan is to have a special vow renewal for either the 5th or 10th anniversary and this will be done in sg. i would like to plan for something by the beach. and have a big celebration with the extended family.... thing is, a lot of my extended family has not meet my hubby, more so since we do not live in singapore.
For the deed poll, all you need is to find a lawyer to get it done. Bring your marriage cert to the lawyer, get him/her to do up the deed poll (which is just a letter stating that you with your current maiden name is the same person as you with your married name). Take that letter to SIR and have your new IC done. after that, you will have to inform all the necessary places of your name change.... e.g banks, drivers license, insurance etc. hope this helps.
thanks for your reply. I will take your advice with the deed poll.
The vow renewal is sweet thing to do
I think I may have to check again on the legalities of the English marriage laws. Only the two older brothers of FH are coming to witness the solemnisation here. Plus FH is thinking of holding a really small, intimate ceremony with his family.
Looks like I got to do a bit more research! Thanks again Sannie.
Hallo girls sorry for the radio-silence, but I disappeared for a bit to volunteer in send relief supplies and clear rubble.
Sannie the wedding in france will be held here -- http://www.chateau-aubry.com/ as FH is from Lille.
What about you? Where is your nearest and dearest from?
Actually I actually have problems with the French embassy in Singapore because they are insisting that we obtain the livrets de famille RIGHT NOW... Illogical? Absolutely - it is just the stupid French administration - I am pretty sure they practically invented bureaucracy...
Sigh This is just me whinging. On a happy note, I also think the vow renewal is v. sweet.
Honeygem, are you based in Singapore? If so, suggest you contact the UK Embassy in Singapore to check with them about whether or not you need to register again in the UK?
If you are not in Singapore, I can just ring em up for you, and email you the info or post it here. I am getting good at deciphering officialdom double speak of all and any nationalities!!
ribbit, LOVELY venue!!! your wedding will be absolutely darling.
my hubby was born in bordeaux but my parents in law are living in a little town called Agen and that was where we had our wedding. here's some pics from our wedding http://www.sandratan.com/Photographs.htm
You'll be amazed at the number of things that need to get done for getting married in france. I had to get my an official copy of my birth cert, a copy of my marital status (that i am single) from ROM, go for blood test, see the doctor and fill up a gizillion forms!!! It was crazy having to do all this while we were both not living in singapore or france. Thank God for help from friends and family. My friends/famill helped with obtaining the necessary documents from singapore and his family helped with the legal documents in france. And they need to post the "intention to get married" notice 60 days before.... i could go on and on.... i totally sympathise with you.
But, it will all be worth it! you're marrying the love of your life.
Bonjour Madame Lastennet, your aug wedding in Agen looked absolutely magic! I love the fact that you don't have posed photos and everything is natural and spontaneous. I want to do a webpage like that as well so that our other friends from all around the world can follow us on our journey but too "leh cheh" lah! I still wonder if it will rain at our June wedding, with it being the North of France as opposed to Bordeux where you are sure it will be lovely and hot! I looked at your toronto and vancouver photos too you are so lovely and photgenic!!
Okay I really should be getting to work instead of posting mindlessly, but I have something stupid to get off my chest becos I don't want to have silly arguments with FH. In a nutshell FH wants to invite to our wedding this French dude who has a Thai Girlfriend. I know I am probably going to sound snobby and racist but really I just do not feel comfortable having this Thai Girlfriend around my wedding. This probably has to do with the fact that this dude is a real SLIME and he dumped my friend for this Thai girl who cannot speak English/French properly. Okay I am extremely biased because my friend is this nice French girl from his town who got a job in Singapore just to be with this Slime, because they had been dating all the way since university. Anyways, this nice French girl is flying all the way back to Singapore for our wedding, and I really DO NOT want her to run into Mr Slime with his Thai Girlfriend. But now because my FH's Egalitarian instincts are offended, it is becoming a "not-everybody-went-to-medical school/came from a wealthy background" kind of issue which is driving me absolutely ape... How can I tell him that I do not want Slime nor his Thai girlfriend there, and it is NOT a snob issue or anything like that, I just dislike both of them in their own right and ALSO for what they did to my friend?
dear frogprincess, thank you!. It is really nice of you to offer help like that. Im actually based in Singapore at the moment, so will ring up the UK embassy or best of all, get FH to sort out this issue. haha. I shall delegate!
On a serious note, should I have problems understanding the jargons or implications, I would definitely post a question to you here. Thanks again
on the issue of your guests... that's a bit tricky.
Perhaps you can look at it at your FH's point of view. Maybe he doesnt think that the Thai girl is at any fault at all. Or Mr Slime. Sometimes, peoples' head just fall off when struck in love.
But, what do I know...Im afraid I cant be of much help here
Honeygem, you are absolutely right, and delegation is the best way forward. Caveat: it is tough to wander through the Kafka world of an embassy without going barking mad yourself, so if FH goes a bit purple whilst talking to them, you will probably have to hold his hand, and make soothing noises....
On a seperate note, I emailed my bridesmaids about this invitation problem ,and I thought this response was quite good, and I am probably going to take her advice before I morph into Bridezilla: Take a look for yourself ---->
I think you oughta tell your friend (i.e. the nice French girl) that the slime & his thai import would probably be going for the wedding and see what she says about it, tell her you'll completely understand if she doesn't want to fly down here anymore for the wedding. If she comes, she can always come hang out with us bridesmaids and we can all bitch together about the slime and his thai import if they should show up (and if bitching together will make your friend feel better). But please please try not to make this into a bigger issue than it really is by having a fight with FH about it. If I'm in the position of the nice French girl, I would certainly not want to know that I was the cause of any unhappiness between you and your hubby-to-be!
frogprincess, the advice from your bridesmaids is most sensible And why didnt I think of that... haha
when is your wedding day? I saw your post in the Jan 05 thread.
Wow, a buzz of activity! Hello back everyone, I thought the thread had gone dud!
Ribbit: I'm in a similar situation-I actually have a Thai relative (through marriage) that I have to invite for the wedding, and although she does speak English and went to university, I really do not want her there because of her loud mouth and really tactless way of holding herself in company. Although I have no choice in the matter, you do......and if you don't want slime and co. at your wedding, then don't. Maybe your FH will come round to the matter if he can see what you're on about? But yea, your bridesmaids suggestion is also cool, and maybe the best way to go about it....maybe nice French girl has got over slime, and will do serious damage to him (wot a spectacle it would be!!)
Sannie: Fab photos! You looked really happy on your big day!
honeygem: I'm also getting married to a Brit. We're doing the legalities in Singapore. As far as we're aware, there is no need to redo the legal stuff in the UK, as long as at the time of marriage, if you and your FH were able to get married in the UK, the Singapore cert will suffice. The deed poll thingy does seem a big hassle though......do we do that in Singapore or UK?
hey tootsieroll, I actually typed in a long one and the internet connection died on me.
in brief - happy to know the spore cert is good enough for everyone.
Did you have a bit of a kick-about when asked to change your surname? I did. And he's not having that hypenated surname.Then FH did a sound argument that I had no choice but to grudgingly agree...
We will do the deed poll next month.
Separate names with a comma.