Any Brides whose HTB is 'Ang Mo'?

Elizabeth, I've spent several hundred dollars on bridal magazines. You are right, they're usually filled with plenty of good ideas and sometimes that's the whole problem - there's just TOO MUCH to choose from! Lol. I just bought two more from Kinokuniya, Takashimaya yesterday. One was because I saw several wedding gowns in the magazine that looked very classic and was thinking of asking the dressmaker if she's able to do the exact copy. I can't remember why I bought the other one but I think it's because it's got several real-life wedding stories that seemed interesting. Oh well .. more reading to be done eh!
 


I only bought two. Usu I will stand there n browse and if it's good then buy. Don't want to spend too much! Wah! You must have such a collection. Can always sell them after that.
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I wish I could sell them off ... but then again, I've never thrown away any magazines I've bought before. But of course FH might have his last say when we move in together. Lol.
 
Hi Ladies,

Sorry for the silence.. I've been following the posts though...

denise have fun dancing all night long during ur wedding... guess u know that the french will party till like 5am... have lotsa rest b4 that... how's the arrangement for the s'pore one going?

cuclainne cheer up!! i understand how u feel too... i really admire those of u here in LDR, dunno how u manage... i was in 2 LDRs previously, couldn't tahan man! cuclainne don't dwell too much on the nightmare, it usually is just a manifestation of ur fears... the more u think abt it, the more real it will seem and the more difficult it will be to trust ur FH. It's like a vicious cycle if u know wat i mean...i've been there, done that
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BTW i've got some news... found out today that Employment Pass holders don't need approval from MOM to register their marriage. Only Work Permit or Ex-Work Permit holders need to... Thought I share this, in case any of u have the same problem...

Check out the new wedding mag, BLISS... i found it quite helpful...
 
Thanks de_luxe. Both FH and I have been so tired lately (him from jetlag, me from work) that we haven't had the opportunity to talk at length since he returned home but yeah, we're still holding on.

Oh, that's great news! FH was saying that he wants to get married the week after he arrives (if the work thing works out) but I told him that it would take some time to sort out the paperwork from MOM cos that was required before.

By the way, what's the difference between a Work Permit and an Employment Pass?
 
HI Maniac,

I'v no idea myself. Hee hee! My FH is not french. I think Denise can help u with it. Denise?
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Hi Cuclainne,

Hope to hear the good news then yr wedding bells ringing.
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Maniac, I believe that some ladies here have posted photos of their French weddings on this site (just can't remember which thread it is, though).

Hmm ... FH and I just want a simple wedding, but I know that we would have to stay up late for our overseas guests. Oh well, once in a lifetime event ..
 
Hi gals

Been on MIA mode, cos hardly use the internet except in the office. Anyways, how are all of you?

Thanks for your input on the pR thing, my FH found out for me already. I will have no problem settling down in germany becos for first 3 yrs, i will have some 'pass' cos i'm maried to a local. After 3 years, they will give me my PR if if i pass some requirements like speak german, integrated into society blah.....so shdn't be a problem. thing is now, need to check ROM website, for us to register the marriage in singapore.

Elizabeth, you were asking smth abt the discipleship training course. It's a Christian course by Youth with a mission (an international christian organization). It's like being a full-time student, except that you study biblical courses (etc. hearing the voice of God, knowing wat's God's will for you etc.) for about 3 months and you have about 2 months for outreach (mission trip, go to some other S.E.A. country)> My FH and I are Christians and we intend to do this 5 month course after we're married.....so we'll get married in end feb 06 have 4 weeks for honeymoon and get started on the course in end March 06. Which is a pretty cool idea, cos the timing is perfect......and it helps me to stay in singapore for a little longer...before going to Germany..... We're going to stay together after marriage, about 7 months in singapore (including honeymood) and then move to gerrmany.

Deluxe, are you staying in germany now?

Oh anyways, incoming overseas calls are free....at least for Starhub.....

Talking abt dreams, i remember when my FH first proposed to me (he flew down for 4 days to surprise me and talk to my parents about the engagement), I had a couple of dreams about my wedding....3 altogether. First 2 were scary dreams, cos I dreamt that I was too scared to walk down the aisle and actually wanted to turn around and run out of the church (like julia roberts in runaway bride)...the 3rd dream was good. Cos it was the only dream that I saw my FH standing at the altar and I felt this overwhelming sense of peace (from God) telling me that this is the right thing to do.... I took this dream as a sign that God is preparing my heart for marriage.....

hahha,might sound a bit out of the world.... Are any of you doing marriage preparation course? Cuclainne, you're going to do it with you FH right? I'm 3/4 done with mine already. Doing it long-distance with his pastor from Germany. So we have a teleconferencing once in 2 weeks (3 of us, my FH, me and his pastor) and discuss about various issues... quite interesting. We get homework to do too, which I scan and send over to his pastor to analyze before we telecon to discuss.

Anyways....paisei to write so much... considering that my frequency of posting messages is quite little.... talk to you all soon again!

keep the messages coming in... very fun to read
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Hi Priscilla, I've discussed the marriage preparation course with my FH and we're going to do the express course (it'll cost about S$400 for 4 hours). He doesn't want to do it over four weekends (though it's cheaper) and wants to get it over and done with. Lol.
 
Hi Priscilla,

Not too bad as Germany is not so strict like mine.
I'm still waiting for the answer. Praying hard though.

Great plan indeed! Very cool! able to share the marriage preparation questions which u did?

Not at all. Where got out of the world? I also prayed, the best thing is we were talking about marriage before we even met. We just knew it after prayers. Some friends are happy, some said are u sure, U haven't even met him. But of course, I went through the motion of fear, doubts at times in dreams. But each time God kept assuring me. I just know this is the man God has intended, chosen for me. Until today, I am very thankful and grateful.
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Hi gals

Deluxe - How are you? Didnt see you on the thread and on MSN since a while. My Spore wedding ah, I made tentative bookings at Beaufort Sentosa & the Garden Suite at Oriental (as you have recommended to me). Dates kinda fixed unless parents are disagreeing due to 'auspicious' date. aiyoh...

Yeah french wedding lasts till very late about 4 or 5am! Will have to rest a lot before! Really quite a big difference compared to our 11pm Sporean weddings. What about the Germans? Do they also party till so late?

Hi Maniac - Welcome! What is the nationality of your FH? Is he french too? Actually I wont say its really a french themed wedding but its just basically the idea of french weddings which last till very late - in the wee hours of the morning. They usually some dancing with friends or even some family members after the wedding dinner. Lots of talking and dancing, coupled with of course lots of wine! They drink wine like plain water! Its nice actually spending time with guests after the dinner but just that sometimes it can get too long! Yawn! Hope I answer your question though...

Cuclainne & Eliz- thanks for the skype info. I shall check it out. I dun have microphone, shall bug my FH to buy it then!

wow, seems like everyone going for marraige preparation course...! Not sure if it exists here in France, but I'm sure it must be helpful.

Hi Priscilla - Is your FH currently in Germany or Spore? Which part of Germany will you be moving to?

Talk to you gals again! Glad that its the weekend soon!
 
Denise, I suppose that any Western weddings are like that. We're planning on a late party too - that's why I'm having some problems choosing a venue for the wedding dinner. We know that his family and friends would like to talk/ drink/ dance till early morning but most hotel venues only stay open till 11pm!! Aiyah .. have to seek other alternatives. The Swedes drink alcohol/ wine like water too ... hahahaha. I only hope that I won't fall asleep during a conversation at 3am or something. Lol.

The marriage preparation course is actually a requirement by ROMM (the Muslim equivalent of ROM). A certificate of attendance will be issued when you're done with the course and you will need to present this to the clerk on the day of your marriage. Otherwise you can't go ahead and get married. Sigh. That's why FH wants to elope .. lol. But after I've explained to him that I would like to go through it, he's ok with it now.
 
Hi cuclainne i sent an enquiry via ROM website & they called me the same afternoon to clarify... pleasantly efficient
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BTW, most hotels will extend the hours for u, but u have to pay hourly rates after midnight to cover manpower costs (or so they say)... other alternatives: bring them to a pub or disco after the dinner n hang out there or book a hotel that has a disco e.g. Marriott or Hyatt, n just go downstairs after the dinner

welcome back gottliebt u shouldn't have any problem w the ROM, just file ur notice in time, think it's min 2wks and max 3 months... Obviously he will have to be in Singapore lah... ur FH will need clearance from MOM only if he's a work permit or ex-work permit holder. It's not a problem if he's here on a social visit pass.

Nope, I'm in S'pore... so far no plans to move anywhere... it all depends on FH's work opportunities in other parts of the world... anyway we're prepared to move if need be. Which part of germany will u be in?

I'm thinking of a marriage prep course but we're both not practising Christians. There r a number of secular ones but FH is not keen cuz he feels that they cater to locals... haven't figured out how to convince him

Hi denise yah i've been MIA cuz was busy w work n recently just didn't feel like staring at the PC again after work... yah, the germans party till late too... i think it's in all western countries.. his mom & friends were so amazed when he told them dat weddings end at 11 here.. i feel so pai seh cuz they seem to be expecting some kind of all night bash a la chinois

So we prob have to bring them somewhere after the dinner to party... can't extend the hours at the Oriental cuz it's at the pool n they say the noise will disturb the house guests.... typical la
 
Hi hi ladies,

Been reading the thread and have been super busy! Feeling blue as well! Much better today! Some unpleasant experience during teaching! But I'm fine.

Hmmmm.... party till late! Not sure the usual practice in Netherlands or not. He didn't say anything about that. I doubt so but seem like fun though. But I cannot stay till so late. very tired! Ha ha ha...

One more month and Fh will be here. So tough! SIGH!!! Getting excited for our engagement too! Can't wait! I'm waiting for him to finish up what is necessary together. Now sourcing for photographer to do a fun, casual photo shoot. Not a pre-wedding thing actually. See how it goes!

Will catch u ladies online again. Tot Ziens! (bye and see u again in Dutch)
 
Hey gals - qn.... is any of you getting married before 25 feb 06? Trying to figure out if anyone here is getting married before me.... can ask for advice on wedding stuff hee

Hi Cuclainne, wow your marriage course is pretty exp! Mine was about $20 euro I think for about 6-7 lessons 3 hrs each.... but its more in-depth I think..... maybe its subsidised by church too.

Yeah, in germany they have wedding parties up to like 5 am plus too... But I reckoned its not gonna happen in singapore since its ridiculous, the price they charge for hourly post midnight. About a few hundred bucks per hour. That's one of the reasons why I have a tentative bookng in grand copthorne waterfront... firstly, they got a lounge area outside the ballroom that is available post midnight and also got Zouk downstairs.... so the europeans can go party themselves if they want... haha.

Deluxe - You're so farnie... can call me Priscilla, Gottliebt is just my username that i had NO CLUE that it would appear everytime I post a message! Aiyoh.... BTW, it means "God loves" in german.... FYI.

DeniseK, My FH is from Stuttgart germany... so I'd probably be moving to Stuttgart when we settle down in Germany.... Thanks for the info on the work permit thing... Do you know if he's on student pass whether he needs clearance too? Cos he'd probably be on student pass since we'll enroll for the YWAM course... Oh and he's still based in germany but he's coming over for the wedding in feb 06....

HAha, I'm on a one-month no pay leave for Oct, since I decided to take some time off work to spend with my family... My FH is coming down this FRIDAY! Yippee! So happy... haven't seen him in agees!! He was here for 4 days in march to propose...and before that, he was here for 3 weeks in Jan...so that's almost 1 year already!

Deluxe, can i ask you what do you mean by 'not practising christians"? As in were you a Christian before? Or just in general, you're never a christian / free-thinker? Cos I have some friends who call themselves not-practisign Christians, but they've been Christians before, except that they're too bz to go church and all that. And yeah, I happen to know some 'secular' places to have MPC.... can find out the contact details for you....

Elizabeth - can ask are you a Christian too? Cos you mentioned about praying about yr FH before you even met. That's what i did too! After my previous b/f breakup, I prayed that god that the next guy I meet would be the husband that he wants for me...and I met my FH like 3 months later, halfway across the globe.

Oh yeah! I can share some qns i did with the MPC (marriage prep course) too...But think they have copyright rules, so cannot like attach the questions and share even if I wanted to....

But in general, I STRONGLY encourage all to attend any MPC clases. ITs extremely good, especially if it involves 2 different cultures, relocation and stuff. The pastor doing my MPC is an Indonesian Chinese (stayed in germany for over 10 years) and his wife is german... so it's really liek a God-sent...cos he's the only chinese pastor in the entire church (his church is i think the biggest in germany apparently). Anyways, this pastor (he's called Phillip) is really cool lah! He'd point out a lot of various issues that is specific to our relationship and asks us a lot of questions from the things he analyses from our answers to our 'homework'.... can share another time. SO, it really makes you THINK....

okiez girls... keep in touch and keep the messsages coming in!

Tschus! (in german... got some dots on top of the 'u' haha)
 
hey Deluxe - pai sei, there's one part of my email that I meant to refer to you... as in thanks for the info on the work permit.... i think i type too fast and think too fast.... so i meant to type u smth in one paraggraph, as something to DeniseK and go back to what you wrote to me...get it?? Pai sei...
 
de_luxe, me and FH are considering Equinox. We had a good dining experience there recently (when his friends were in town) and thought it might be a good idea to have dinner at one of their function rooms, and then proceed to New Asia Bar to party. That said, I think it would be wise for us to book rooms there too so can collapse after all that celebrating! Lol.

By the way, thanks for sharing with us the good news on the Employment Pass holder thingy. It's certainly good news to me and FH. Like I said, we would like to get married the week after he arrives, provided he gets the job of course.

Elizabeth, you must be looking forward to his visit then. So lucky! FH has been home for a week now and I miss him terribly. How long is your FH going to be here?

I don't think I've asked you this but are you having your engagement here in Singapore? What have you planned for that special day?

Priscilla, I might be getting married before you do but that depends on whether FH gets the job or not. I have attended a wedding fair before and read up on a lot of magazines, made a lot of enquiries but now I've gone into relax mode - I don't really want to plan anything without FH being around.

Well, the marriage preparation course is a lot cheaper if you do it over 4 separate weekends. But FH and I want to do the express course (basically learning what is taught over a month in 4 hours) so that's why it's more expensive. Plus FH is a foreigner so they charge extra for that.

I'm so happy for you - you finally get to see your FH. How long have you guys known each other? So lucky to be able to take some time off. I took two months to travel to Stockholm this year (returned in early June) and FH came here for three weeks in September. I wish to go back there - it's so lovely there.
 
Hi hi Ladies,

I've been busy lah! Been so tired esp yesterday! No energy to talk to FH at all. Moody also.

Hi Priscilla,

My FH n I are Catholics. I met him two yrs later after my last worst relationship. Enjoy my singlehood and doing what God wants me to do. When He finds it the right time, He will send. MPC in netherlands is free I think but in Singapore, have to pay. Can't remember how much. I'm going for the Engagement encounter course in Nov with FH in church. wanted to go for MPC but he can't take such a long leave as it's a 6 sessions spreading over 6 months. We will continue with the couple's meeting in Netherlands and will do MPC with the priest. Yes, it's very important to prepare. On top of that, I bought two other books on pre-marriage prepatation to go through with FH before marriage over a period of 6 months when I'm back. I believe in preparing, don't like to jump into marriage not knowing each other's expectation, views and more... So ladies, do go for it. Priscilla, do share what are the questions you do with me via email? Vrey keen in it. Happy fo ru that FH is down, Wah! apart for a year! I'm apart from him for almost 4 months, I cannot take it already. In the past, 6 months before we first met, then 2 months, now 5 months. Another month to go before he is here. U must be so excited! I'm counting down! Thinking of all the things we are going to do. Can't wait!

Hi Cuclainne,

Yes, engagement is in Singapore and in church. It's a mass, followed by buffet. Tea ceremony the next day with family and relatives with dinner buffet. I yet to check whether I can screen photos of us as we walk into the church and I've a surprise for my FH after mass. We also have a thank u speech for parents n friends. He's coming down on 4 nov. Such an agony! That's why I hope visa will be approved. Can't stand being apart anymore! SIGH!!! Hope u hear good news then u can unite with yr FH again soon!
 
Wah! That sounds like a lot of work. Have you managed to get everything in place then?

So lucky. One more month and you will be reunited for good. FH will go for the final interview in Paris on Wednesday. He's already booked his tickets for the flight there. We both hope that it will be a positive outcome. Keeping our fingers crossed.
 
I really hope that things will work out, especially since you've put so much effort into planning the event. After the engagement, you'll be moving to Netherlands for good right?
 
Hihhi!

yeah, i'm really happy 2 c my FH soon..... =)He'll b here in less than 24 hrs but he'd only stay for 2 weeks......

elizabeth - what surprise r u having for yr FH? i can send u sm questions over email but give me a while k.....say 2 weeks later? Cos may not haf much time when FH is here. Got quite a lot of things to settle. FH is coming back only in end jan 06 for good.... so that wld mean another 3 months or so... but yeah, by the time he comes over in 2006 , we wld haf 2.5 yrs of long distance, 0.5 yr normal distance.

Oh, yesterday i went for my german placement test.. got into the 5th level out of 12 levels...quite happy abt it.... cos only studied it for4 mths before.....

cuclainne - I have known my FH for abt 2 yrs 10 mths already. Ok, let me know yr FH job comes along.... then u intend to prepare the wedding like really fast? Within a short time? how many guests are u expecting?
 
Hihi ladies,

I've been busy and tired! SIGH! Esp the period of the month doesn't help. Just woke up from a nap. Super stress up! Preparing the props stuff! One step at a time. Also sourcing for photographer for outdoor shoot.

Just chat with Priscilla. My surprise for my FH on the engagement is to coo him a song Valentine. He has no clue at all. But I know he has a surprise for me. Of course not singing. Don't know what. Poor FH. He always ended up leaking the secret coz everything here I'm the one doing the coordination for Mcee. Ha ha ha... he just only said cannot tell u, it's a surprise. Ha ha ha... Only time I really didn't know the surprise is when he sent flowers. Hahaha... Poor FH! Too honest!


Hi cuclainne,

The agony of having to wait for another month for him to be here is such a torture and agony for both of us. Lots of patience! So unwilling to part over conversation each time but I've to sleep. So tired! Poor FH has to have his dinner. Always suffer in hunger without complaining! The most agonising is still waiting for the approval of the visa. One more week to the deadline. HE called and they said it's still not processed, by this week. SO SLOW!!!! ARGGH!!!!!
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What to do!
 
Priscilla, FH went for his interview in Paris yesterday and he's been informed that they're offering him a position in the office here. They're going to be discussing the financial/administrative aspects soon. FH really wants the job because 1. he is impressed by the company and 2. he wants to be close to me. So if things are confirmed by next week, I would be looking for a place to rent already. We plan to get married at ROMM first and then have a proper celebration (dinner and such) a few months later. My parents won't allow us to cohabit before we're married so that's why we want to get that out of the way. I don't feel good knowing that he's so near to me, yet alone.

We're planning a dinner for about 80 people (maybe more), depending on how many friends of his are flying in for the wedding. Then the typical Malay-styled void deck wedding will be hosted by my parents and the last I checked, the guest list was about 1200 relatives/ family friends. But not all 1200 will come at the same time - the lunch will be held over several hours so people will come and go at their convenience.

Hahahah - FH is still trying to come to terms with that. He's never attended a wedding before, because it's common for them to have a family without getting married but I told them that I want it done right and he respects that.

Wah - me and FH have spent 12 months apart and about 4 months together (in total). He came for one month in Oct 2004, I went there for two months April - May 05 and he was here again for three weeks in Sept. Really hoping that this next trip he will stay for good... until we decide when to go back.

Elizabeth, you must persevere. I will probably submit my application after we married. The process won't be so hard once the relationship is established (married/ living together).

My poor FH - he had to get up at 4.30am to get to the airport and had the interview in the afternoon. Then he took the flight back and got home close to 1am. So he didn't really manage to eat proper meals and was really tired today (he's back in the office!!). I really appreciate that he's taking all the steps to ensure that we can be together ..
 
Hi ladies..

How¡¦s everyone? I finally got moving on the wedding preps
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will be signing on the dotted line w Oriental & Bridal Veil next sat¡K n gotta pay the deposit too *ouch* I feel broke already¡K

Now pondering if I should work on a theme or not¡K. Thinking of
- colours (white & lavender or blue)
- garden (but this is so boring)
- something tropical / exotic (dunno actually what)
- fusion (dunno how to execute)
or maybe no theme at all!

denise did u get someone to view the Garden Suite? I saw it recently, it¡¦s quite a small room and L-shaped so the march-in is pretty short¡K the good thing abt it is that it overlooks a bamboo garden n it has a private foyer area with sofa settees¡K how abt burkill hall ¡V did u check it out? I¡¦m so in love w that place, I¡¦ll recommend it to anyone doing a small wedding.

Priscilla I think student pass dun need clearance. My fren from Myanmar who studies here got married recently, dun think she had any problems. I dunno if the YWAM course requires a student pass or not cuz it¡¦s not an academic program. Best check w ICA to be 100% sure¡K

As to ur question abt ¡§not practicing Christians¡¨¡K it¡¦s actually quite complicated. My family is Buddhist but I studied in a Methodist pri & sec sch n converted somewhere along the way. Always had family objections back then, so couldn¡¦t go church n had to do bible study in secret.. somehow when I went overseas to study, I fell back again n again to the point where I gave up. Also felt guilty that I turned to God only when I was having troubles¡K I dunno if it was partly due to the lack of support there, but I suppose at the end of the day it¡¦s really up to me. I visited some churches when I came back but never felt that I belonged in any of them. Also disagreed w the way most Christians here behave towards other religions. I felt pressured to convert the pple ard me¡K To me, the other person will ask if they r interested to know n at the end of the day one should respect wat the other person chooses to believe in n not have this ¡§holier than thou¡¨ attitude¡K

It doesn¡¦t help that there r some ¡§black sheeps¡¨ in my extended family (ie uncles, etc..) who claim to be Christians but do not behave and they neglect their families, have affairs... Because my parents r even stauncher Buddhists now than before, there¡¦s some friction too. And my mom is always saying things like ¡§why Christians behave like that¡¨ and so on, I got tired of justifying other pple¡¦s behaviour.

But still my beliefs r still very much rooted in Christianity n eventually I would like to expose my kids (when I have them that is) to Christianity too¡K

As for FH, his family is protestant but goes to church only during xmas. In germany, even the protestants have to go through confirmation like the catholics. FH did all that as a teenager, but I think it was due to his parents rather than of his own free will. His brother resigned from the church some time ago so that he doesn¡¦t have to pay church tax. I brought FH to some churches here but he doesn¡¦t like any of them, in particular the charismatic ones cuz he thinks service should be solemn. He also says that the churches here r too modern n not grand enough (compared to those hundreds of years old ones in Europe)¡K I gave up explaining that s¡¦pore is a young country so how to have hundred yr old churches????

I¡¦ve got the details for some secular MPCs from MCDC, but haven¡¦t been able to persuade FH yet. He thinks that they cater to locals n wouldn¡¦t be suitable for us. So if I really want to, I have to turn on my persuasion powers¡K
 
Hi Deluxe,

My theme is blue n white. Reason coz Mother Mary is blue and white. She is like a Mother watching over us.

I understand what you are going through being a Christian, I didn't have an easy time too being the only converted Catholic in the family. But as times pass and with prayers, they accepted the fact. God has worked all things out beautiful in His time even though it's tough at times. He has never failed to be faithful no matter what happen as He loves us unconditionally. I went through a lot of hrad knocks in life and it's is Him who has brought joy, peace, love into my life.

Lots yet to learn though!
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Esp embarking the journey of a new phase- marriage. Without Him, FH n I won't be able to surivive till now.

Hi hi ladies,

Hope everything is well. Crazy at work and the prepartion that drains me out. I've been moody and throwing tantrums like a spoilt child at my FH. Poor him having to tolerate my nonsense. Ha ha ha... He is just too patient. Everything is well after talking things out with prayers and taking it easy.

GTG and do my work! SIGH! Seems endless!
 
hi girls!!!

how r u all? My FH is in singapore now and he's watching movie outside with my parents. Aiyah... I think they want to discuss the whole dowry thing... Mom insist that FH has to pay like 10 tables or so for wedding blah.... but FH's parents only coming to singapore abt 1 week b4 wedding, so if they wait til then to discuss with his family, it'd be really close to the wedding and mite just spoil the whole mood of the wedding.

BTW, any of you facing problems with the whole guy family pay for wedding vs western side - neither family pays for anything, but the couple will try to come up with the expense and family can help if they can afford it?

Been reading all yr posts and wish could type more stuff, but shd join the others o/s for the movie so can only afford a short posting.

Deluxe - I'm from Methodist Secondary School too! Which year were you in? I graduated in 1998... we could have been schoolmates at some point in time. I know EXACTly what you mean about the whole church tax and 'resigning' from church thing. My FH had confirmation and all that stuff before. Actually when we first met, he was not a 'real' Christian.... but a lot of things changed after that. Its like I always knew that I would only marry a Christian and I told him about it when we first got together in a relationship. But the funny thing is that though we went to church together in Canada for about 4 months, FH only became a Christian when he went back to Germany.

I basically shared with him what my faith in God meant to me and how God changed my life is so many ways. The thing with him is that he didnt' go to church after he was a teenager because there simply was no reason for him to since it was more 'ritualistic' than anything else. But he told me later that one of the main reasons why he 'investigated' Christianity again is because he saw something is my life that he didn't have and he wanted to have this 'thing'. Anyways, to cut a long story short, he started reading up on a lot of books about Christianity by himself (he's an intellectual kinna guy) and every time he came to Singapore he would visit SKS (this christian warehouse) and stock up on christian bks to bring back to germany to read.

He came to a point when he felt that he knew enuff abt Christianity to be convicted that looking at evidence, Christianity has the highest possibility and likelihood to be true and the whole Jesus story is true. However, he needed a personal encounter with God before he could make a decision to follow after Him. Yeah, so as it turned out, with prayers (my friends were also praying for him), my FH had a personal encounter with God which he said he just knew that it was God speaking to Him and that was the last step he needed to give his life to God.

Anyways, that was 2 years ago and he hasn't looked back since.Compared to the many traditional churches in Germany, God led Him to this church (that DOESN"T collect church tax)... people tithe by choice and not by law.... and he's been serving there for the past 2 years. He's grown a lot in his relationship with God and last I heard its probably the largest church in Germany (abt 2,000 membership and 4,000 ppl attending every sunday)....

The sad thing is that he shared with me that in Germany, though people have 'religious education" for 16 years he has NEVER heard about the whole jesus loves you story and He died for the sins of the world story..... I can imagine that most germans have a similar story.

Another thing is, I can also say that I struggle with the whole hypocrisy story. Even though I came from a Christian family, my BIGGEST struggle was seeing that my parents are Christians but there were so many values that they had which is so un-christianity> That for me, was extremely difficult since I felt that if I shd learn values from anybody it shd be my parents. However, when I was struggling with that, I remember God reminding me that humans are weak...and that I shd look to HIM to be the perfect example of "christianity' and nobody else.... It was only when I consciously told myself that I would stop lumping Jesus with my parents and start looking at Jesus ALONE, then I started finding peace and growing in my relationship with God. But it hasn't been ez either, cos i also changed church (to be a different church from my parents) to have the space and time to grow on my own with God.

Would like to share more and also hear more about yr story too.... I have a couple of friends who converted in MGS but continue to be in buddhist families and it hasn't been easy for them either.

Okiez... for the rfact that i didn't want to write much I wrote sucha long essay! Right, gtg... see you girls soon.
 
Priscilla, my parents are paying for the traditional Malay celebrations so we're not taking any 'ang-paos' that are given by family/ friends during that event.

Ah Boy and me are sharing costs for the dinner and probably having a gift registry for this one.
 
Priscilla, in Western cultures it is usually the bride's family who pays for the wedding. But nowadays, the couple tends to pay for most things on their own.
 
Hi Priscilla,

My FH n I are paying for everything ourselves coz it's our engagement and wedding, we didn't want to tax our parents as they're not rich people and have worked so hard to raise us. We agree to save up and do it ourselves. I know there're certain tradition practice and I find it is so stressful and most of my friends always ended up quarrelling over it. Why make wedding such a state? Isn't it supposed to be a joyous celebration? SIGH!!! All my married friends told me it's inevitable not to quarrel while preparing for it with their parents. So sad! In fact, I have my share too but after talking things out, my parents decided to let us do what we want as they want us to be happy. I'm touched by their love. It doesn't help when nosy relatives wanted to interfere and creating more chaos. I simply dislike the tradition practices at times. My parents decided not to ask for dowry from FH but we would still give them before we leave depending how much we have left from our preparation. I feel bad inside. but truly we have budget constrain and we are cutting down a lot of things for our engagament. we just didn't want to bother about what others said anymore. A colleague said why not have flowers at the pew. We don't see it necessary at all, it's only an engagement. I'm not going to be bothered by thier comments. If they are truly happy for us, they come to grace the occasions with us, not to critising or making comments. Mistakes are made during the preparations but I tried not to ruin it anymore by straining my relationship with FH. I'm glad God revealed to us what we need to do and where we have gone wrong as not to repeat it. Indeed, it has strained our relationship esp when FH is so far away. But he is very kind, gentle and loving that always helps us to pull through it and with prayers as well. We talked things out and glad that we need to focus in God all the time which we have been due to busy work and stress level for both of us. we learn the meaning of the vows even we are not married, to go through thick and thin.

Everything will be put into place by God and He did. I'm sure He will for u too. I feel there's no hard and fast rule about it, but sitting down and discuss what is the best thing for you, FH, and your family. Coomunication in a loving way is the key.

Thanks for sharing about your faith story. Happy that your FH finds God in his life. The key is when we have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we will never want to let Him go.
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HI hi to all the ladies!
 
Hi Priscilla

It is always an issue, no need to fret. For Westerners, the bride pays almost everything but vice versa for Chinese.

I din face all these issues w my parents. Mom is pretty easy going cuz we are paying the whole thing ourselves + ang po $$. I also told her our budget and who is paying for what, so it is all quite clear. Anyway they r of the opinion that a wedding is just for a day so dun need to spend so much just cuz of face. Might as well save the money for our future home or whatever. We r not that close to the relatives and anyway, it doesn't bother me wat salt and pepper they want to add. It's not their life.

I've just discussed the dowry issue and settled on the amt, now got to be message pigeon n tell FH. As for the si dian jin, we'll leave it to his parents to decide if they want to do it or not. The only must is the tea ceremony. I've an article on Chinese customs - can email u if u want.

I'm not from same school as you. Was from Geylang Methodist Pri & Sec, 2 yrs ur senior.

I believe the issues that my FH has w the Church is bcuz of the "technical" way it is practiced there and I'm not a gd example for him to follow either... I doubt he has truly experienced God's grace in his life. I have but I'm too much of a control freak to be able to let go and let God. Always felt that things dun go the way I want them to when I entrust them to Him, tho sometimes, I eventually realize why. I've often considered going back to the path but I'm such a procrastinator!!! And I still can't bring myself to give up all my other attachments... It's just too complicated and personal to explain in full details here..
 
Hi Deluxe

Good to have caught you for a while over MSN.

No i have not had anyone view the Garden Suite on my behalf. My friend who's helping me out is also very busy with her work, so I didnt press her for it. So, do you think its might not be that nice to hold a wedding at the Garden Suite then?

I have not checked out Burkill Hill. I might go and take a look when I am back in Spore, most likely during CNY. I heard and saw some posts on other threads that its a lovely place but it could come up to be quite high on the budget right, since have to source for caterer and many things separately? Maybe you can let me know your view since you have seen the place and perhaps you have an idea of what the budget would be like approx...? Budget is 1 of our concern too as we need to be careful with our spendings since we have 2 weddings - 1 in france and 1 in spore.

By the way, could you email me the article you have on Chinese customs too? Just to have more info even though we are not following the strict chinese traditions.

I do have a problem of the dowry issue too which was being raised as well by my mum. I find it a bit touchy to discuss this...How did you approach it? Is there like a min amt or something?

Priscilla - my parents are also pretty alright with regards to the costs of our 2 weddings. We are also paying for ourselves the dinner in Spore as well as angbao $$. Whereas for the french wedding, the dinner will be mostly paid by my FH's family as the guests are mainly all from the french side - friends and family. Other than that,we are also paying for our own gown,suits, misc costs. Hence it was thankfully pretty calm, no issues raised, except for the dowry!! Did your family ask for dowry too? Priscilla do you have MSN?

Ladies, if you have some advise regarding to dowry issues, please let me know.

Talk soon!
Denise
 
Hi Cuclainne,

Have u found a place for yr ah boy to stay? Where r u looking? SOmeone I know from sg bride is renting her flat out. in sengkang. Let me know if u like to rent for yr ah boy.
 
Elizabeth, I am still looking but we're in no rush cos Ah Boy is only coming in December. Plus the work is giving him two weeks' stay at a service apartment to give him time to have a look around so it's not too bad. In any event, can I have her contact details so I can find out more? Thanks.
 
Harlow!! *wave* *wave*

What's up these days? Pretty quiet here..

Looking forward to the design stage of my gowns
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Denise u got mail...
RE the venues, I didn't like the look of the Garden Suite as I tot I would cuz it looked really nice on the website but i felt it was on the small side in real life. Who are u dealing w at Oriental? U can ask them for real life pics of weddings there n also for a layout of the room - might be easier for u to visualise. In terms of the interior, it's quite nice and cuz of the size, it's quite gd for small functions - more intimate, u know what i mean? The main issue is with the march-in. It's very short, dun think u will need more than 1 min to walk unless u want to start from the main door at the private foyer then into the room. So if u dun mind the short march-in, it should be quite alright.

The other venue at Oriental is Atrium Suite, but need 150 pax min. So think not ok for u?

Otherwise, u might want to do the poolside like me? The only consideration is the weather but Oriental will provide a back-up room FOC (either Garden or Atrium Suite). It wouldn't look as nice with a marquee.

Another place to consider would be grand copthorne waterfront - tho i'm not sure wat the min is. Have you checked out ACM at Empress Place and the Art House? Their venues are quite small. Others to consider: Bacchus @ Fullerton Waterboat House - it's an indepdent restaurant just next to fullerton hotel. The venue is on the rooftop, main cost is the marquee. Do u know that sentosa has other venues too? Not just at the hotels. Check out sentosa.com.sg (under events).

Burkill Hall is lovely. Budget-wise, our calculations found that it's almost the same cost as a 5-star hotel but I'm fussy abt the food so went for slightly more high end caterers. If u dun mind the more run of the mill caterers, it might be cheaper. A plus for caterers is that the beer is much much cheaper compared to hotels. If budget is tight, u can cut down on the flowers n decor n just rely on the natural beauty since it's already pretty. What I found unhelpful is that we have to bring in our own PA system as well - that was a pain...

RE Dowry - there's no min amt. It's up to u n mom to discuss. As we r paying everything, my mom dun want to ask for too much and i also bargain down the sum. Anyway, usually ur parents will not accept the entire sum so that it will not appear that they r selling off their daughter. Let's say they ask for $999, they might take just $500 n return the rest. U just have to explain to FH lor.. does he know abt it? Honestly, my FH is a bit pissed off after I told him abt dowry n lai see (the amt to give to jie mei when he arrives to pick me up) and he commented that the whole thing seems like it's abt money. Just let it be lor, their culture different mah..
 
de_luxe, are you designing your own gowns? Wow - I've seen a few in the foreign bridal magazines that I really like, especially those that look vintage. Very nice, but I know sure expensive if I am to buy/ rent from BS so I might just tailor mine.

Ok ladies, I'm tentatively set to get married on 7 January 2006. The wedding dinner and lunch will follow soon after, in the month of March. Hope everything will go to plan.
 
cuclainne no lah, not i design. If i do it sure horrible looking, I failed art in school. The designer will design. First they will make me try on 8 -10 gowns, access the looks, body shape *shudder* and i also have to let them know my prefs, either show pic or describe. But the WG is rented. M keeping only the EG. I think there are chances that i'll wear the EG again, but definately won't wear WG again so no pt keeping. Just look at photos will be enuff. I personally find that it's not worth it to get OTR for gowns cuz the price diff btwn OTR and MTM is not that big so why not do something customised?
 
BTW, to clarify, my package is MTM WG (rent) & MTM EG (keep). FH gets MTM suit + shirt (most places dun do shirts as part of the pkage tho)
 
Hi Cuclainne,

Congrats! Happy for u! Finally ya!

2 more weeks and FH is here! Can't wait! Time flies! My visa should be positive. NOw waiting for the letter to be sent to him by next Tues! Then I can make arrangement with the embassy here. Hope all goes well!
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Just to confirm, I read in one of the posts above that if you're married overseas you're still considered a "miss" in Singapore? Is that true?

Doens't ROM require you to submit your marriage cert here?
 

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