Anti-Marriage - Is it Just me ?

T

tofu123

New Member
It must be kind of strange to start on a thread on anti-marriage when everyone is discussing about marriage. But then again here goes...I can't helps wondering is it just me or are there a lot of people out there like me, i take a very firm stance on being anti-marriage.

I have a very highly successful career, possesses my own property and is in my early 30s. I never lack any girlfriends but just feel that the need to get married is not there. I find it strange that whenever i mention to my girlfriends that i am not interested in marriage they will try their best to make me change my mind but then they always end up moving on with their life. This sort of becomes a repeated cycle.

Is marriage that important for a woman, don't all of u women out there feels that without the paper it make more sense that both of us can walk out of the relationship in the event it don't work out? Do anyone out there feels the same way i do against marriage as well?
 


Seriously i am not trying to say i am rich and i have house whatsoever...cause there are tons of people definitely much more well off then i am.Just wondering if there are people who share the same sentiments as me.Forget it, maybe it is just me feeling this way. Just treat it as this thread never exist.
 
Tofu, like you said, you have no shortage of gfs.. They treat you nice, are always available to you and satisfy your needs. Hence, you do not feel the need to get married.

As to why they run away, it's because they do not know when you will abandon them.. When they are old, ugly and unable to give you kids? Or when you find a younger gf? You make them feel very unsecured. Or perhaps they want kids and having kids before marriage is frown upon in Asian societies.

Ask yourself why you do not believe in marriage. I suppose you do not want kids either. Is it bcos of the troublesome and straining divorce, alimony etc? Or perhaps you have not meet a lady whose so special that you are willing to commit yourself to one and only her.
 
Humans are the main parasites of the world.
Tofu like me are trying to avoid marriage and procreation in order to ..

SAVE THE WORLD!
 
There isn't one fixed path for all. Our thinking evolves with the experiences in life.

Most of us didn't have the same dreams and views as we did since day one. I only really wanted to be a father after the sudden passing off my dad. If you are not ready and wanting a marriage... By all means enjoy the moment but don't be so sure and to shut the door
 
Tofu,

there are all kinds of people in this world including your type. If you are happy with your life, then why should social issues about whether to get married bother you? In my line there are many who are still single because they are very devoted to their work. They chose their lives this way and like you, they own a house, a car etc and the whole world seems to be telling them they should get married by this and that age or that it's gd to get a companion as u grow old blah blah blah...but from what I see, they are still enjoying their singlehood so if you are happy right now and you see that you'll continue to be happy in the future being not married, then nothing should stop you. Perhaps you haven't met someone whom you deeply love that you feel you could risk it all. Yes, I used 'risk it all' because these days divorce stats are high as married couples take marriage more lightly - they get into it easily and come out of it when encountered troubles.
 
1 of my gal frd, a pretty successful banker who already own 2 condo at the age of 26 doesn't believe in marriage n kids. Currently, she n her divorcee 40+ caucasian bf r cohabiting in 1 of her apt and not only tt, she's covering his expenses as well.

For all these yrs, they are still enjoying their honeymoon period, travelling around the globe, watching musicial concerts without worrying about kids, in laws, mundane issues.

She doesn't believe in marriage and has no interest in kids, rather keep dogs than having kids. She say tt in the event of breaking up, he could just pack up his things and leave, that's all, less hassle.
 
No wonder ppl nowadays hv no family values, they just wan to enjoy life, hit and go, like eating fast food.men & women are all alike, they just want sex , and no marriage nor children.
 
what's the point of such generalizing statement? pple nowadays as if you come from a different age altogether. Tolerance to diversity. There is no need to agree with another lifestyle but at the end of the day, its their life.
 
you are only in your early 30s and Ting Yi's girlfriend is only 26! There might be a stage where you will feel different and wanted to settle down with the right woman.

Denise, do u mean teachers?
strangely the many teachers i have met stay single not because they like singlehood but it's because they couldn't find one, didn't want to settle down for the less and have to love their singlehood.
 
I guess her family plays a big part ... Her parents r in a loveless marriage n stay on for the kids till today..

She rather stay happy n njoy life everyday rather to be trapped in a marriage if luv isn't there anymore..

Choc, she's already 29 dis yr..
Btw I think teachers r v busy ppl, won't even hv enough time to rest, not to mention socialize!
 
If you're in your early 30s and describe your career as very highly successful your pov is automatically discredited.

Aim higher.
 
chocolatte, yup...I was referring to teachers. Times have changed I think. Most of the single teachers in my school chose to stay single and not because they couldn't find one. Most people have misconceptions that most single teachers can't find a partner in life due to their work or social circle. In fact these days in our work, we interact with many vendors, travel overseas etc. Those in my school either chose to be single (e.g. we offered to intro them ladies / gentlemen but they are just not keen) or are not anxious to get married or have a partner (e.g. they take their own sweet time...one of my colleagues just got married recently at the age of 38 not because he can'tfind someone but he takes his own sweet time and leave things to fate.) But u're probably right about they didn't want to settle down for less. Most of them have quite high expectations of their partners. I believe it's our job environment. For instance I used up all my patience and tender loving care in school towards my students so in my private life, I need someone who can shower me more of these to seek a balance. And while teachers don't earn as much as some high flyers out there, our pay is still considered quite competitive with bonuses and someone ard the age of 28 can fetch 5k a month easily. With all these, they might have certain expectations of their partners I believe.

Actually teachers are also normal ppl out there. There are also those who are singles and can't find a partner tho they are dying to get married.

I'll say...there isn't really a trend here hehe
 
tofu, I empathise with you.

but you must understand one thing, everyone is insecure, including men. One of women's greatest insecurities is that she may be left on the shelf which may, depending on the woman and her friends, indicate inadequacies of every sort, though not all women are culpable of this.

When you say you have a good job and have your own property, look at the basis of your 'achievements'. They are both validated by a piece of paper too. Job - contract. Property - title deed. Would you have the same level of confidence if your employer told you, 'no need contract lah, just come to work and perform, and I will pay you accordingly', and if the government said, 'oh no need title deed lah, u know I know can already'.

Having said that, I think people like you just need to take your time and look. There is no way to define her right now but through a combination of timing, circumstance, chemistry and any other factor, you may change your mind later and in fact you may find yourself wanting to marry her even if she does not make any mention of it.
 
<font color="0000ff">Tofu,
You belongs to the group who definitely prefer not to be tied down, there is nothing wrong, everything is fated and if you are meant to be single, then you will be, alternatively, you will meet someone who really can change your thinking someday somewhere.

Good luck!</font>
 
tofu/scope guy,
you don't believe in marriage because you have not found the right one. I have a good guy friend who earns quite well and he too told me he's not marriage type kind of guy and will never get married. He doesn't think he can stick to 1 girl. Fast forward a few years later, he's now married happily and have a boy..haha.. I teased him about this and he just laughed...haha....
 
Grey Area,

Tofu has a chance, not me. What I want is beyond Singlish standard can offer.

It's ok. I'd finish this life without marriage.

Money and love... Or Money and girls? LOL~
 
what most important is you have to be happy with your own status, whats the point of being in a marriage but is always unhappy.
 
Agree with chocolatte that it's important to be happy and no point being in a marriage if you're unhappy.

Maybe it'll be interesting to find out why do people get married. I'm sure the reasons are plenty and varied.
 
Society typically paints a negative stereotype of men who hesitate, delay, or elect not to marry.

They are labelled as either:

A) Womanisers who are unable to participate in a long term relationship, or
B) Selfish, childish or irresponsible men who can not take care of themselves or another person.

No other explanation is ever explored.
 
Arsenal, you missed out one more category - Gays.

Yup agree with Milo that single AND old women get it worse. People like to call them 'old virgins' behind their backs.
 
hahaha arsenal, actually you missed out one quite popular labelling and that's the possibility of being 'gay'. I thought this stereotype is more common. Anyway, career women get it less while single women who didn't make it in their careers are then deemed as 'old virgins' these days. Guess particularly in my line, people tend to perceive old single female teachers as old maids who are too rigid to enjoy love/sex. The single old male teachers are mostly married in my school. Guess that's due to a greater number of female teachers than male ones so the probability is higher too.
 
End of the day...watever life a person choose...u must be ready to face the consequences...if u are mindful of how this society view u...u are most likely going to end up following the so call society "norm".....

I feel so much bless to know that at least i have the capability to ignore how this society views me...
 
yesno333, you're one example of a student who abided by sch rules and when u grow up, you don't necessarily conform to norms - this really doesn't show that sch rules stifle creativity or produce ppl who only know how to conform to conventional norms/rules I think
 
I do agree that by abiding by sch rules when u are young it does not necessary means that when you grow up you will be someone who will follows the society norm....

I personally feels that rules, laws are necessary....the lack of rules in skool will cause a lack of discipline....just like how we are suppose to serve national service....i can proudly say that it is thru army that i build my character and become a much more discipline person....

Of coz most likely ppl are going to disagree with this...but then again...diff ppl diff views...><"
 
arsenal: lol...anyway it does feel great to be single...when u finally found someone who can give u the same great feeling as if you're both in love and single, perhaps she's the one hehe
 
Hi Denise,

l was one student that all my teachers thought I was going to flop. When I shared with my teacher my intent to pursue a degree in computing, they advised against my subject combi, questioning my decision of the subject I took. Different teachers encouraged me to focus in the subject that they are teaching instead, citing I have talents in it.

I don't fight the rules... there are workarounds mostly. We don't need to move in the crowded path that everyone thinks is the right one. Same with NS, there are ways to blend in, the military is a place where abuse of power isn't uncommon. There isn't exactly a need abide to rules faithfully, just don't get into trouble.
 
fat, ugly, like to stalk pple and retarded MILO, you are no way as successful too !

Get a grip on yrself or shut the hell up.
 
Hi Milo,

I was just citing yesno33 as an example. I didn't abide by school rules all the time too. I still rem skipping my GP lessons to shop at the mall but that didn't make me less successful in life too. Then again, I think we cannot assume that all who abided by the rules and laws faithfully are stifled and can't do well in life. In the first place, ppl who truly love rules and abide by rules, follow SOPs etc are the conventional type. They may not be super creative but they do well in conventional jobs too. In fact teachers nowadays do not enforce rules strictly to the T too. Sometimes we just cover one eye if we feel that the student only slipped occasionally.
 
denise, there isn't any assumption of success later in life has any relation with all these. not sure where you pick that from.

The point is, as long as the individual has a feasible plan to see through it, there is no need to conform to the so called norms. Rules are just basic guidelines. Law and order instill stability. We know why it is there. There is no need to uphold rules like its some commandment. Rules are dead, we are alive.
 
I just lie to my parents that i just got married. i thought i will be free from their nagging family things.

but now i am in deep shit,

they want to meet my"bride" who does not exist at all. i am screwed now.

it has been a year i have been hiding "her".

any women want to be my so call "fake wife" ?

i will pay for you ? just a meeting or dinner with my family.
 
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