Dear all, I will like some advice. I am feeling very vexed. I am not happy with my marriage.
I have been married for 12 years and have a child who is 11 years old. My husband has made me lost all the hope, trust in him. He is very irresponsible in terms of taking care of me. He just want to see what he want to see, pay what he want to pay. At a few vunerable stages, I was left alone and i felt that I was abandon fending for myself. I have stay for so long because for my child and I wanted to give him chances. It has been 2 years when i told him i wanted a divorce. He asked me to stay and i agreed to try one last time for our marriage. But nothing has changed.. he is still back to square 1.
I was so depressed that i cannot sleep at night, it is affecting me badly. I really want out of this relationship.
Below is a few instances of what I cannot stand .. can someone tell me if i am overeacting or is this not acceptable.
1) Recent instances on I was chase out of my bedroom and have to sleep on another room alone.( so embrassed that i dont even know what to say)
2) few years back , I was left alone to handle through the termination of pregancy due to baby has no heart beat. I was so angry when at the last pregnancy, he even have to cheek to ask me if he need to go to the hospital with me. I was feeling depressed after losing a few babies.
3) recently, I am not working for a few months and we have arranged that he will pay the insurance for me and my girl which is only few hundreds. then it happen that he also stop working resigned from his position. Last month he has an arguement with me that he did not agree on the payment and will not pay for anything and stop giving me money. I am lost...at least allow me to get a job first.. (i am sure he can handle the payment till i get a job)
4) He will shut off himself and the whole world has offended him..
5) he pick on me even downright to things i cannot control like hair dopping , making me embrassed in front of my child on my language..
6) he told me that there are no more love in this relationship just companion. But for me that is not true.. he is not rich .. he has nothing much but i love him and my girl enough to stay on even no matter how tough life is at times. I think my heart has been slashed after what he told me. that few years back and now i think my heart is dead on him. worst is i dont cry any more ... i dont feel sad anymore..
7) back then, I told him about the difficulties i am facing at work .. then he told me straight off not to burden him in these .. he only want to hear the good things not that bad
BUT to me we are having a family .. we are husband and wife.. we should share the good and the bad...i no longer can share my issue problem with him..
8) i just realise i am not in his retirement plan...
there are more...
I love my child but i think it is really unhealthy. Even my child is aware.
a) some one can advice. If I move out of my place and file a separation, can he have the right to stop me from visiting my child weekly on the weekend? During the period, do I have some rights? He can be scary at times.I think he will bad mouth me as he did before to my child.
b) We have a HDB that is more than 10 years, if he has custody of the child he can retain the flat. Can i sell tohim the house in open market price? but if he is jobless .. will it affect? our house is almost paid off where our cpf have more than sufficient to pay.
c) what is the differences of transfering the share to him? will i get my cpf back? does it mean that i dont have the profit? I am thinking to buy a small flat so my girl can have a place to come to also. in future.
if i file for separation , the divorce will only take place in 3 to 4 years.
I have been married for 12 years and have a child who is 11 years old. My husband has made me lost all the hope, trust in him. He is very irresponsible in terms of taking care of me. He just want to see what he want to see, pay what he want to pay. At a few vunerable stages, I was left alone and i felt that I was abandon fending for myself. I have stay for so long because for my child and I wanted to give him chances. It has been 2 years when i told him i wanted a divorce. He asked me to stay and i agreed to try one last time for our marriage. But nothing has changed.. he is still back to square 1.
I was so depressed that i cannot sleep at night, it is affecting me badly. I really want out of this relationship.
Below is a few instances of what I cannot stand .. can someone tell me if i am overeacting or is this not acceptable.
1) Recent instances on I was chase out of my bedroom and have to sleep on another room alone.( so embrassed that i dont even know what to say)
2) few years back , I was left alone to handle through the termination of pregancy due to baby has no heart beat. I was so angry when at the last pregnancy, he even have to cheek to ask me if he need to go to the hospital with me. I was feeling depressed after losing a few babies.
3) recently, I am not working for a few months and we have arranged that he will pay the insurance for me and my girl which is only few hundreds. then it happen that he also stop working resigned from his position. Last month he has an arguement with me that he did not agree on the payment and will not pay for anything and stop giving me money. I am lost...at least allow me to get a job first.. (i am sure he can handle the payment till i get a job)
4) He will shut off himself and the whole world has offended him..
5) he pick on me even downright to things i cannot control like hair dopping , making me embrassed in front of my child on my language..
6) he told me that there are no more love in this relationship just companion. But for me that is not true.. he is not rich .. he has nothing much but i love him and my girl enough to stay on even no matter how tough life is at times. I think my heart has been slashed after what he told me. that few years back and now i think my heart is dead on him. worst is i dont cry any more ... i dont feel sad anymore..
7) back then, I told him about the difficulties i am facing at work .. then he told me straight off not to burden him in these .. he only want to hear the good things not that bad
BUT to me we are having a family .. we are husband and wife.. we should share the good and the bad...i no longer can share my issue problem with him..
8) i just realise i am not in his retirement plan...
there are more...
I love my child but i think it is really unhealthy. Even my child is aware.
a) some one can advice. If I move out of my place and file a separation, can he have the right to stop me from visiting my child weekly on the weekend? During the period, do I have some rights? He can be scary at times.I think he will bad mouth me as he did before to my child.
b) We have a HDB that is more than 10 years, if he has custody of the child he can retain the flat. Can i sell tohim the house in open market price? but if he is jobless .. will it affect? our house is almost paid off where our cpf have more than sufficient to pay.
c) what is the differences of transfering the share to him? will i get my cpf back? does it mean that i dont have the profit? I am thinking to buy a small flat so my girl can have a place to come to also. in future.
if i file for separation , the divorce will only take place in 3 to 4 years.
