(2010/10) Oct 2010 BTB

@ Deb
The problem here is, HTB's parents everything also say anything. But when ask HTB to relay the msg, story seems different. Wanna arrange for them to meet up, FFIL say dun need
 


pipi> oh man... tell yr HTB that u're not your sister-in-law and therefore yr family have different expectations.

For me, my mother is taking 8 tables (for show) all the angpows will be returned to pay off the tables as she knows that i'm the one paying for the whole wedding.

Pin Jin + Si Dian Jin will be paid by HTB's family. Think my mommy taking $8,888 in cheque and returning $8,000 for Pin Jin.

So actually its essentially only $888.
 
@ Eileen
It's my FFIL tt's being difficult. He told HTB how much he gave for the SIL, then the parents return how much. So in his heart he must be thinking my mum will / to follow suit. We're not eyeing for his fortune but he's such a miser lor.
 
pipi> for GDL stuffs, u can buy on ur own… no need to involve in-laws… it’s juz that it shld come from the groom’s side…
as for si dian jin, it depends on ur in-laws if they want to gv… but usually will gv some esp during the tea ceremony… for “mian zi†mah…

usually if tables r ardy given to bride’s side then no PJ will be given lor…
but if ur parents insist, perhaps u can tok to ur htb telling him to juz prepare an auspicious no. (e.g. $888) then ur parents to take the end digit… either $88 or $8 and return the rest…

that time, for my bro’s wedding also like that… they only took the “wei shu†instead of all the PJ…

wiwi> from my understanding T&T dun hv hotstamping on cards lor… not sure abt Nagamas leh…
yah, that’s wat my htb said so also… cos is 3-folds so dun want to do inserts…
the price for T-dragon given by pan pac is normal print on cards leh… dun hv hotstamping… hv written email to enquire quotes liao but no response from them yet…

not sure if any1 has used the other vendor which pan pac has recommended too…
 
@ Avatar
Yup, HTB told me last nite..

@ DS
For GDL stuffs, think I'll ask HTB to bring both my mum & FMIL to buy. So on the spot we can decide wat to get and wat not to get rather than to wait for one another
 
Agree with DS_gerl, GDL stuff can buy on your own. hehee... For me, i ordered the pig trotter cans and cakes and seek reimbursement from HTB. No need to involve in laws.hehehe...

Btw.. anyone got gd manicure shop to recommend? hmm.. need to find one for AD.
 
@DS_gerl
Can you share wif me your quotes once u got reply from other source? Hot stamping better or normal print? Hot stampin will leave a mark behind the print rite? ours is Tri-fold so if hot stamping will it leave marks on the cover of the cards if prints on the whole page?
 
pipi> we also getting GDL stuff on our own. Just ask both sides what they want, then we get.Hmmmm dun get too stress ya. Just go enjoy ur wedding preps and go with the flow. As long as ur parents are understanding, then things are simplified ya.
 
@ Deb
Things got ugly..my parents not happy, my HTB also not happy. We will arrange both side parents to meet up 1 of these days. If negotiation fails, wedding call off
kao_cry.gif
 
avatar> u wanna do normal mani/pedi or gel nails?
for normal mani/pedi, i usually hop ard... but recently found 1 manicurist who is quite gd at far east plaza but she's leaving that shop soon...

if for gel nails, u can try Cynthia, whom some of us here has ardy booked her for our AD
happy.gif

she's home based.... personally, hv done some of my gel nails with her and she's gd... u can chk out some of my photos in fb...

wiwi> u mean u r not given the other contact from pan pac other than T-dragon?
PM me ur email and i will send to u...

pipi> dun be too stress and despair... things shld work out fine when both parties sit down to discuss and compromise...
 
@ DS
This feeling is awful. It's like 1 gun shooting at me from my parents, and the other one from HTB. I told him to ask FFIL when free to meet up to discuss on banquet and GDL, and tell him nothing else and he promised! And yet he told me he have told FFIL wat happened. He didn't even think of my feelings. Both guns shooting at me and I still hv to be 和事è€. Now FFIL must have a v bad impression for my family. While ppl at my side feels that FFIL is too miser
 
Yeah.... Today is exactly 4 mths to my actual day!!!!

DS_gerl: home based ah? at where? Can i have her contacts? Btw, usually how long can the gel nail
last? if I can do it 2 days before my AD, maybe i might do it in Malaysia since I'm collecting my gowns.

Pipi, don't get so stressed over the wedding... Things will sort out eventually.
 
@ Avatar
I hope so too. Now the impression of both parties is not v good. This Sat need to bring my mum and dad for fittings...
 
icic.. don't worry so much. Everything will be fine. Impression can change over time. It's not uncommon for pple to quarrel over pinjin and table issue. Because it concerns $$.

You bringing your parents for fittings? you going to MTM clothes for ur parents?
 
BS will provide coat for father and FIL. As for mummies, see if they like the design BS have on rack. If ok, will loan from them. Otherwise will have to bring them out to buy new ones
 
icic.. My BS also provide coats for fathers. But my father wanna have a new coat. haha.. so end up buying from G2000. My mum clothes, I also buy OTR. hehehe...
 
Sigh, if I know things will get so ugly...would hv opt for simple one. Juz book venue, call caterer...close case. Dun need to worry abt tables, plus will be cheaper also
kao_cry.gif
 
pipi> dun get too stress ya. if u need a place to vent or talk, you can always look for us.
happy.gif


ds> read in 2010 thread, for the 5% rebate on banquet, we have to get manhatten card ? then got max cash back??
 
@ Deb
I'm really feeling v stress...with tears really to flow out anytime. I juz called my mum earlier, telling her me & HTB will arrange another meet-up for both sides to discuss. My mum straight away tell me my dad already not happy, wat's there to discuss. Tell her me & HTB being sandwiched, not good that the msg is being passed around like that so a meet-up is better. She juz replied me see how 1st...
 
pipi> maybe let both parents calm down first? get htb to talk to his parents and you to yours to find out what are their expectations? then work on that?? pm me if u need to chat ya
 
@ Deb
I dunno how my in laws feel. I dunno if there's a need for me to call my FFIL to check. But @ the moment my parents are not unhappy with the arrangement. My thinking is, to let them sort it out soonest possible b4 I proceed with others. Coz if the negotiation fails, I will juz call up the respective personnel to cancel...
 
pipi> i feel its better to let ur htb deal with ur FFIL, cos he is their son and its easier to talk. Is it really that bad to have to cancel??
 
@ Deb
Problem here is, HTB is not happy with my parents. Dun think he's gtg to help in talking to FFIL. Last nite he was boiling hot, but tell me FFIL is v calm and listen to wat HTB said. Do u think HTB will help? For the whole morning he didn't even send me a sms...he's pretty mad this time, while I'm feeling really sad
kao_cry.gif
 
avatar> she is home based in yishun… u can chk out her blog at http://cynfulnails.blogspot.com
for gel nails, it can last as long as ur own nails grow out… so dun hv to worry even if u r doing it a few days prior to AD

hv not done my nails in msia b4 so dunno hw’s the quality and prices r like… maybe u can ask ur BS if they hv any recommendations?

deb> u can chk out the website for manhattan cards @ http://www.wowmanhattan.com.sg
if u apply the card b4 31 dec, u will get a $50 cash rebate upon approval.

the best part for applying stan chart cards is they gv u a higher credit limit and hence u dun hv to up ur credit limit b4 ur AD... and u can also get some more ppl to apply the manhattan card and request hotel to split the bills accordingly to enjoy more cash rebates... (e.g. each person charge $3k and rebate $300)
 
@ Deb
HTB say my parents v calculative, money grabber. FIL wanna give pin jin le but my parents not happy with the figure. But they aren't. I'm the only daughter, they want the best for me. A nice figure for the pin jin will give 'face' to both families...not tt my mum is gtg to take the full amount
 
DS_gerl: hehe.. ok.. will check it out. For the cash rebates, what can it be used for? Can Offset purchases or offset the credit card bill? hehe.. can subcard holder get cash rebates too?
 
@ Deb
I really hope so. If can I would like them to meet up tomolo coz the stress is really killing me.
Do u think I should call up my FFIL? I dunno, seems like I've nv done anything rite...
 
pipi: how much are ur parents holding out for?

$$$ is the main factor why ppl quarrel, if not resolved amicably ties can sour in no time. best is both of u talk to both sets of parents to get them to compromise on a figure which they can accept.

ur future in laws dunno how much ur mum is gonna take, so u cannot blame them for thinking that way. if ur parents really want the best for u, they shld not be so uptight over the amount of PJ they receive at the expense of ur happiness.

sometimes retreating a bit can let u see the bigger picture.
 
avatar> not sure if entitle for sup cards holder...
the rebate shld be for next bill

pipi> wat is the amt ur parents r asking for PJ?
if the amt is not huge, perhaps both u and htb can fork out that amt first? anyway, ur parents will only take a small amt from there rite?
 
@ Thomas, DS
I dunno how much is the figure they're looking at..they didn't let me know. HTB only tell me my FFIL gave $1.2k for the elder DIL 4 yrs ago, and DIL's parents returned $1k to them

I dun mind to fork out the money with HTB, but HTB is not willing to fork out a cent since FFIL is giving PJ
 
pipi: cannot use their DIL's case to compare, everyone has different expectations. ur parents might have felt offended with the amt (assuming ur FFIL is offering the same too?) so thats why they are holding out for more but how much more? perhaps u can find out from ur mum first before u call for a meeting, otherwise no point.

no offence, ur HTB doesn't seem to be the type who compromises too. if all are so rigid, nothing can move from there honestly.
 
@ Thomas
My dad is angry coz FFIL uses the past experience from the DIL.

HTB is kinda selfish type. He did mentioned to me if FFIL dun intend to give PJ, he dun mind coming up with $1888 (sounds great!) for my mum. But now since FFIL say will give PJ and my parents not happy with it, he's not willing to do so le. Y can't they understand it's for the sake of 'face', at least if the relatives ask abt it, both families also got 'face'. >.<
 
pipi> try to resolve this amicably with htb. as what thomas say, its good to check with ur parents what are their expectations. Tell htb that PJ is an appreciation to ur parents for bringing u up, so different parents have different expectations.
 
@ Deb
I'm trying to le...really. I'm also someone kinda short-tempered, becoz of this I keep myself dxxn cool when I msn him. I'll see wat my parents say tonite when I'm home.

I'm not trying to be rude here, but most Teochew want 'face' for this. So for my parents, they do expect my FFIL to know wat to do when they're also Teochew
uhoh.gif
 
@ Deb
I know. B4 this I often heard ppl say, marriage is not juz between the 2 couple. Now I understand le...

HTB sms me to check with me on the banquet stuffs, I also tell him not to be angry coz it's gtg to be settled among them. He told me FFIL wants my parents to cool down 1st then arrange for them to meet. Wonder how long will it takes...
 
pipi: I dun think wanting of 'face' got anything to do with the dialect group...its not specific to any group as a matter of fact. Everyone wants 'face' also, who wldn't?

there will be a way to solve all these, dun worry too much.
 
pipi> yup,'face' is the most difficult thing. haiz anyway dun get too upset and let it spoil ur wedding. wedding is once in a lifetime.
 
hello Oct Brides...
i am thinking of having a different gown from my Morning session and wedding first march in...
checked with bridal shop..must top up $300++..

do u think i should go ahead??
 

Pipi> if yr parents wants PJ, and FMIL is only willing to give a certain amount... then why don't u yourself top up the rest and get over the whole matter?

Afterall you know that your parents will return a certain figure.. if its just the face of exchanging $$ then top it up and get it back later?
 

Back
Top