Tore the solemnizer consent form

[Poh Huay Mei]

My fiance and I are very heated at the moment. Yesterday we wanted to prepare the consent form for solemnizer. We need to be serious and fill in all the correct details and he is still playing on his phone and answering some lame jokes in his group chat. I asked him to be serious and fill up the form. He said the way I ask is very disrespectful.
All I want is just some respect and seriousness to complete the form.. Not some stupid group chat that is not important. Then he grab the paper and tore it! OK. Then that's it.. I feel he is not interested at all. He said he has signed it and he is serious. And if he wants respect.. Earn it. I am thinking if I want to carry on.. I am like his mother always telling him what to do and blah.. And I liaise with all the vendors. That it. I am not signing..

 

[Poh Huay Mei]

I need some counselling.. if any here can give. Thanks

 

[miloice]

My fiance and I are very heated at the moment. Yesterday we wanted to prepare the consent form for solemnizer. We need to be serious and fill in all the correct details and he is still playing on his phone and answering some lame jokes in his group chat. I asked him to be serious and fill up the form. He said the way I ask is very disrespectful.
All I want is just some respect and seriousness to complete the form.. Not some stupid group chat that is not important. Then he grab the paper and tore it! OK. Then that's it.. I feel he is not interested at all. He said he has signed it and he is serious. And if he wants respect.. Earn it. I am thinking if I want to carry on.. I am like his mother always telling him what to do and blah.. And I liaise with all the vendors. That it. I am not signing..

Acutally childish behaviors by both parties. there are ways to get his attention without turning ugly as well. There is no one straight forward answer, just think if there could have been a better way to handle it. Seems your fiance have an anger and EGO management issue as well. Maybe you guys need to think over, if its too rush into the marriage. What's the rush?

 

[newproject]

How old are you both. How long dating. You guys sound really young <25?

 

[Poh Huay Mei]

hello. we are both in our 30s. c
why am i childish? I just ask for his attention for 5 mins to complete the form.

 

[miloice]

hello. we are both in our 30s. c
why am i childish? I just ask for his attention for 5 mins to complete the form.

Hi Huay Mei, most fights between couples isn't about how correct the points either of you are trying to put across. It is almost always a fight of emotions. That is why I suggest to think back if that was the best approach to put across your frustrations. Every person that is frustrated will have a bad tone. Acknowledge that and remind each other. Get pass your emotions, yes, both your tones are bad, this is normal. Ask for him attention, this is your objective here. Not to condemn him on how stupid and silly his group chat is. Do realise, I am not defending your fiance or justifying any of his actions. Both of you reacted badly. The question is, could you have avoided that?

 

[Infernolord]

hello. we are both in our 30s. c
why am i childish? I just ask for his attention for 5 mins to complete the form.

That very moment you thought of not signing and he torn the papers. --> Childish.

Both of you shld just ask yourselves, does it matter a year later from now. Does it affect you or your love ones?
1. He chatting with friend when filling up form. - You, Does he hurt you or harm you?
2. You scold him and ask him to pay attention - He, Does it matter as you are angry and shout at him?
3. He torn the papers. - He, why must he do that? To show you that you are wrong?
4. You considering the marriage - You, why u give up so easily?

Conclusion. He regret, and ask u nicely to sign. You come here to vent and ask for advise. Isnt this obvious, you guys still love each other. Pride is the problem here. Come on!

 

[Staypositive]

i understand ur feelings. ur angry with him for giving attention to trivial matters instead of the more important matter on hand. it seems he is more relaxed on this matter. still, he shouldn't have did what he did. I'm afraid he may have some anger mgmt issues which needs to be addressed before marrying him. he needs to give u the assurance that he will NEVER do it again.if not it may lead to more serious stuff after you marry him.

 

[Staypositive]

That very moment you thought of not signing and he torn the papers. --> Childish.

Both of you shld just ask yourselves, does it matter a year later from now. Does it affect you or your love ones?
1. He chatting with friend when filling up form. - You, Does he hurt you or harm you?
2. You scold him and ask him to pay attention - He, Does it matter as you are angry and shout at him?
3. He torn the papers. - He, why must he do that? To show you that you are wrong?
4. You considering the marriage - You, why u give up so easily?

Conclusion. He regret, and ask u nicely to sign. You come here to vent and ask for advise. Isnt this obvious, you guys still love each other. Pride is the problem here. Come on!

I would think communication is the problem here. They may not accommodate each other tempers well enough to get married. Loving each other not necessary means must get married. if there is love but they are character problems which is not resolved, it is a torture for both parties. no point getting married for the sake of marrying. the solemnization paper is an important document. he shouldn't have did that.

 

[Cath_rina]

My fiance and I are very heated at the moment. Yesterday we wanted to prepare the consent form for solemnizer. We need to be serious and fill in all the correct details and he is still playing on his phone and answering some lame jokes in his group chat. I asked him to be serious and fill up the form. He said the way I ask is very disrespectful.
All I want is just some respect and seriousness to complete the form.. Not some stupid group chat that is not important. Then he grab the paper and tore it! OK. Then that's it.. I feel he is not interested at all. He said he has signed it and he is serious. And if he wants respect.. Earn it. I am thinking if I want to carry on.. I am like his mother always telling him what to do and blah.. And I liaise with all the vendors. That it. I am not signing..

I think you should get a real bf. Local Singaporean men all cmi. A Caucasian is so much better.

 

[Staypositive]

hello. we are both in our 30s. c
why am i childish? I just ask for his attention for 5 mins to complete the form.

I think is not childish.To others it may seem like a trivial matter because they may display such character traits but their spouse or gf forgives them or simply lack of empathy. he just dun bother since u also mentioned that ur the one who contacted all the vendors. Do not rush into marrying him.it always gd to think clearly, age is not a deciding factor. Being truly happy is. he must show his remorse and repentance before you proceed.

 

[Staypositive]

Acutally childish behaviors by both parties. there are ways to get his attention without turning ugly as well. There is no one straight forward answer, just think if there could have been a better way to handle it. Seems your fiance have an anger and EGO management issue as well. Maybe you guys need to think over, if its too rush into the marriage. What's the rush?

when ppl are angry, they reacted differently. How does it constitute childishness? its more about how one communicate to each other and character flaws.its obvious that the what seem like trivial issue trigger a big reaction in the guy and he have anger mgmt issue which may lead to bigger issues later on. it may be good that the girl realises this now then later on. Either the girl learn to manage his temper if not they should not get married.its like being on tenterhooks on when he will erupt again.

 

[newproject]

hello. we are both in our 30s. c
why am i childish? I just ask for his attention for 5 mins to complete the form.

Here's the thing. I see two scenarios

A) you are not telling the full story. It went from he was talking on whatsapp to out of blue he tore the form? I'm guessing you left out the parts you provoke him too?

B) it happened exactly as you described and he just tore the form without any provocation from you.

In case B , yeah time to bail since he's out of control and/or he doesn't want to get married.

Those of us who are more experienced see clearly though think it's closer to A)

1) you clearly come here wanting to vent and then be talked into getting back

2) you have a part to play in the way you handled the situation that led to suddenly the form getting torn.

I mean I'm like that as well glues to my phone. My wife doesn't like that and says so but in no universe would the way she says it would cause me to suddenly do something drastic as what you descŕibed.

 

[newproject]

when ppl are angry, they reacted differently. How does it constitute childishness? its more about how one communicate to each other and character flaws.its obvious that the what seem like trivial issue trigger a big reaction in the guy and he have anger mgmt issue which may lead to bigger issues later on. it may be good that the girl realises this now then later on. Either the girl learn to manage his temper if not they should not get married.its like being on tenterhooks on when he will erupt again.

Learn to read between the lines .

We getting story only from one side. I'm sure the girl is minimising the part she played in provoking him.

On face value it looks like as you say the guy has a huge anger issue. But
If it happened exactly like that why is the girl posting basically wanting us to side with her and call the guy childish? You wouldn't need that if it was obvious

 

[Staypositive]

Learn to read between the lines .

We getting story only from one side. I'm sure the girl is minimising the part she played in provoking him.

On face value it looks like as you say the guy has a huge anger issue. But
If it happened exactly like that why is the girl posting basically wanting us to side with her and call the guy childish? You wouldn't need that if it was obvious

The girl did not say she wants us to side with her.neither does she called the guy selfish.she is just expressing her troubling issue seeking advice.Even if the girl did provoke him,can't he just walk away instead of doing what he did?so if next time in a marriage they faced bigger issues,the guy becomes irritated,is he going to use anger to resolve the problem?i think both of them need to address the character issues between them before carrying on.

 

[Staypositive]

Here's the thing. I see two scenarios

A) you are not telling the full story. It went from he was talking on whatsapp to out of blue he tore the form? I'm guessing you left out the parts you provoke him too?

B) it happened exactly as you described and he just tore the form without any provocation from you.

In case B , yeah time to bail since he's out of control and/or he doesn't want to get married.

Those of us who are more experienced see clearly though think it's closer to A)

1) you clearly come here wanting to vent and then be talked into getting back

2) you have a part to play in the way you handled the situation that led to suddenly the form getting torn.

I mean I'm like that as well glues to my phone. My wife doesn't like that and says so but in no universe would the way she says it would cause me to suddenly do something drastic as what you descŕibed.

If you read carefully,the gal did mentioned that the guy said that she talk to him in a disrespectful manner.so,she did provoke him after all.But does it give him the right to do that to the important piece of paper?

 

[reegee]

No matter who u're going to get married to at the end of the day, you current fiance, a new fiance, or an angmoh fiance, in marriage, you will for sure ALWAYS meet with times where you cannot stand each other's habits/actions.
It could be him fiddling with his phone non stop today, it can be something else tomorrow.
I think the impt thing is to learn how to manage your own expectations first, learn how to not be short fused, and learn his 'language' - which is the best way to get him to listen? If he manages better with you acting cute, then act cute lor. As long as it gets yr intent settled right? Not everyone deals well with an assertive tone.
90% of fights are always because of tonality rather than the actual matter itself. Just like how you got angry with his tearing up the form. Maybe a meeker girl would have been frightened and apologised to him instead. (Not saying that you should! Just showing the difference..)

If you have already tried his 'language' and he doesnt care, then you can start thinking about whether he's serious.

 

[ing1]

She could be frustrated, being the one person to liaise with vendors.

Not siding her bf, but generally it's the woman who is more excited and hands on for their wedding isn't? Generally man takes a back seat and makes macro decisions.

They just need to cool down, put down their pride and talk about it.

 

[miloice]

when ppl are angry, they reacted differently. How does it constitute childishness? its more about how one communicate to each other and character flaws.its obvious that the what seem like trivial issue trigger a big reaction in the guy and he have anger mgmt issue which may lead to bigger issues later on. it may be good that the girl realises this now then later on. Either the girl learn to manage his temper if not they should not get married.its like being on tenterhooks on when he will erupt again.

Isn't that what I mentioned? That there are better ways to communicate than escalating to an ugly fight, that the guy probably have anger management issues, that there isn't a rush to marry? They are clearly not ready like many others we read of. Picking on all the trivial details. Are these really more important than the relationship? Sure, we are all different people with different reactions, does it stop anyone to reflect on why things escalated? Its very to just blame one party but its hardly one sided.

 

[Staypositive]

Isn't that what I mentioned? That there are better ways to communicate than escalating to an ugly fight, that the guy probably have anger management issues, that there isn't a rush to marry? They are clearly not ready like many others we read of. Picking on all the trivial details. Are these really more important than the relationship? Sure, we are all different people with different reactions, does it stop anyone to reflect on why things escalated? Its very to just blame one party but its hardly one sided.

Do you think tearing a piece of solemnisation paper out of anger by a grown man is a small matter?perhaps to u it's just a paper,but to me it represents a significant value in a relationship.moreover if next time the gal irritates him with a bigger issue does it gives him the excuse to lay his hands on her?im not blaming one party only.the gal have to made changes too.just that the guy action is really too much and needs to be corrected with urgency.

You mentioned I picked on trivial details which is less important than the relationship.usually the small matters when left unaddressed led to greater issues.in this case we are talking abt marriage here and all problems faced should not be taken lightly.and,did I say that u did not advise her to postpone the marriage till matter resolved and there are other ways to handle the matter?im just giving my opinion on the matter.i dun see how it affect ur opinion..

 

[Staypositive]

She could be frustrated, being the one person to liaise with vendors.

Not siding her bf, but generally it's the woman who is more excited and hands on for their wedding isn't? Generally man takes a back seat and makes macro decisions.

They just need to cool down, put down their pride and talk about it.

Guys can be excited and hands on abt the wedding too,if they cared enough.when wedding preparations is already so relaxed,I really doubt he can carry out his responsibilities well as a husband.micro or macro,all decisions should be made together isn't it? Unless there is an arrangement before hand agreed between both parties.

I dun think pride plays a part in resolving the matter.its more like anger and hurt.if the gal refused to reconcile,it's regards to anger and hurtful feelings.

 

[miloice]

Do you think tearing a piece of solemnisation paper out of anger by a grown man is a small matter?perhaps to u it's just a paper,but to me it represents a significant value in a relationship.moreover if next time the gal irritates him with a bigger issue does it gives him the excuse to lay his hands on her?im not blaming one party only.the gal have to made changes too.just that the guy action is really too much and needs to be corrected with urgency.

You mentioned I picked on trivial details which is less important than the relationship.usually the small matters when left unaddressed led to greater issues.in this case we are talking abt marriage here and all problems faced should not be taken lightly.and,did I say that u did not advise her to postpone the marriage till matter resolved and there are other ways to handle the matter?im just giving my opinion on the matter.i dun see how it affect ur opinion..

Which part in my message did I say what he did was trivial. The reactions wasn't trivial. The initial issue of getting his attention was. To do it in the most condescending manner. We have seen how trivial disputes ended up with fights leaving someone dead. Judging by your logic, most women should dump their partners after seeing how they drive on the roads.

Everyone is capable to be really nice or nasty. No one lives a perfect life. The more short fuse one is, the more probably of things escalating fast. Let's not pretend it wouldn't happen to us.
Maturity is necessary to manage differences. To react and blame it on the situation and context, one removes themselves from any accountability of what happened. It has never been the case on who is more correct in couple disagreements. Going all the way to prove how right they are and how wrong their partners are just leave resentments. To just look at what he did but not how the entire fight escalated, is being blind to the factors. Whether she should leave him or not, there are still lots of reflections she could do in managing differences in her future relationships.

 

[miloice]

Guys can be excited and hands on abt the wedding too,if they cared enough.when wedding preparations is already so relaxed,I really doubt he can carry out his responsibilities well as a husband.micro or macro,all decisions should be made together isn't it? Unless there is an arrangement before hand agreed between both parties.

I dun think pride plays a part in resolving the matter.its more like anger and hurt.if the gal refused to reconcile,it's regards to anger and hurtful feelings.

You are jumping too much into conclusion just based on one action, i.e. he tore the solemisation paper. Its only one sided story in here.

to share, I deal with anger management all my life. My old man chopped open the bedroom door while in argument with my mother when I was still in Primary school. I myself did so many things in anger, but I never laid my hand on my wife, not once.

There was once, I was so angry that I smashed my favourite watch from her on the glass table in front of her and my son. I made no excuse for it. She was shocked as she never saw this part of me before after all these years. The monster in me that I had learn to cope with mostly in my later years. She was mad with me for sometime, I screwed up and dealt with it. Gave no excuse but I'm sorry. Explaining to my son how wrong that was, how I have to learn from it. People can learn, we don't judge and make any conclusion from one single incident. I am as hands on in my wedding, renovations and parenting as possible.

 

[newproject]

The girl did not say she wants us to side with her.neither does she called the guy selfish.she is just expressing her troubling issue seeking advice.Even if the girl did provoke him,can't he just walk away instead of doing what he did?so if next time in a marriage they faced bigger issues,the guy becomes irritated,is he going to use anger to resolve the problem?i think both of them need to address the character issues between them before carrying on.

Dude don't you notice everyone on this thread both guys and girls pretty much singing the same song except for you?

And yes she did not say outright, if she did no need to read bring lines right?

I know you like you argue but you may want to rethink on why you always seem to not be in tune with the rest of us particularly when most of us have more experience than you.

 

[newproject]

You are jumping too much into conclusion just based on one action, i.e. he tore the solemisation paper. Its only one sided story in here.

Miloice give it up. This guy is always one-sided in the way he sees things. He's always giving the benefit of doubt to one gender and always seeing abuse/exploitation on the part of the guy.


E.g. once some girl commented she pays half half with husband to be and he jumps in asking if she's exploited etc.

Or she uses a turn of phrase like "treat him like a king" and he gets concerned. Sigh

The only case ivè seen him take the other side is so one sided story I pretty sure is a troll just to test him.

That said he could bè right in that the guy has a huge problem and the girl is an angel.

But given how she's posting here, the fact all posters except him are getting the same vibe that it's a petty quarrel rather than one sided abuse I think it's very unlikely.

Stay positive is so amazingly one sided I think if it's up to him no guy is good enough. Every small misstep and he's yelling breakup.

 

[miloice]

Miloice give it up. This guy is always one-sided in the way he sees things. He's always giving the benefit of doubt to one gender and always seeing abuse/exploitation on the part of the guy.


E.g. once some girl commented she pays half half with husband to be and he jumps in asking if she's exploited etc.

Or she uses a turn of phrase like "treat him like a king" and he gets concerned. Sigh

The only case ivè seen him take the other side is so one sided story I pretty sure is a troll just to test him.

That said he could bè right in that the guy has a huge problem and the girl is an angel.

But given how she's posting here, the fact all posters except him are getting the same vibe that it's a petty quarrel rather than one sided abuse I think it's very unlikely.

Stay positive is so amazingly one sided I think if it's up to him no guy is good enough. Every small misstep and he's yelling breakup.

Well... how she felt about his group chats is pretty much comparable with how guys see about all the fuzz over the wedding. Mostly, the guy is a filler for the wedding. Its mostly just about the bride, her princess dream since young, it will not be perfect without the groom, and that's what the guy is for. Likewise, with shopping, all the endless pointless comparisons, which is better, why and why not. Its really different perspective. Her objective was to get his attention and stop being distracted. Rubbishing what he is doing isn't a smart thing to do. Its obvious.

 

[Staypositive]

You are jumping too much into conclusion just based on one action, i.e. he tore the

Miloice give it up. This guy is always one-sided in the way he sees things. He's always giving the benefit of doubt to one gender and always seeing abuse/exploitation on the part of the guy.


E.g. once some girl commented she pays half half with husband to be and he jumps in asking if she's exploited etc.

Or she uses a turn of phrase like "treat him like a king" and he gets concerned. Sigh

The only case ivè seen him take the other side is so one sided story I pretty sure is a troll just to test him.

That said he could bè right in that the guy has a huge problem and the girl is an angel.

But given how she's posting here, the fact all posters except him are getting the same vibe that it's a petty quarrel rather than one sided abuse I think it's very unlikely.

Stay positive is so amazingly one sided I think if it's up to him no guy is good enough. Every small misstep and he's yelling breakup.

Does all posters said that it is a petty quarrel?its only U,Miloice,Infernolord and Ing who sings the same tune.not surprising with typical mindset.

And did I say it's one sided only.i did say both parties must change.u dun get it do you?!

I think you are the one being biased here,supporting the male population blindly.it seems like ur blaming the gal for how it turn out?to sum you up,u are a petty MCP and a sore loser.no wonder that troll called singapore men losers. You are just a gd example of one of them.

 

[Staypositive]

Well... how she felt about his group chats is pretty much comparable with how guys see about all the fuzz over the wedding. Mostly, the guy is a filler for the wedding. Its mostly just about the bride, her princess dream since young, it will not be perfect without the groom, and that's what the guy is for. Likewise, with shopping, all the endless pointless comparisons, which is better, why and why not. Its really different perspective. Her objective was to get his attention and stop being distracted. Rubbishing what he is doing isn't a smart thing to do. Its obvious.

Rubbishing on generalisation with no base about what a wedding should be for a guy and girl is utter nonsense.

 

[Staypositive]

Dude don't you notice everyone on this thread both guys and girls pretty much singing the same song except for you?

And yes she did not say outright, if she did no need to read bring lines right?

I know you like you argue but you may want to rethink on why you always seem to not be in tune with the rest of us particularly when most of us have more experience than you.

You are not reading between the lines,ur inferring through ur already prejudiced judgement.Just becos people have different opinion and u said lack of experience.u should Learn To Respect others.Surprising ur so called 40 years of experience doesn't do that.think u have lived in vain.

 

[miloice]

Does all posters said that it is a petty quarrel?its only U,Miloice,Infernolord and Ing who sings the same tune.not surprising with typical mindset.

And did I say it's one sided only.i did say both parties must change.u dun get it do you?!

I think you are the one being biased here,supporting the male population blindly.it seems like ur blaming the gal for how it turn out?to sum you up,u are a petty MCP and a sore loser.no wonder that troll called singapore men losers. You are just a gd example of one of them.

I don't know what you are talking about. Feeling its like a roti prata. Thanks for labelling others as 'typical mindset'. Do you have a track record and experience to showcase how unconventionally successful you are? Dude. that is uncalled for.

When you said its only U,Miloice,Infernolord and Ing.... wait... apart from the troll and youself, do you read comments from anyone else in this thread? This is the 7th month but its not that spooky lah.

 

[Staypositive]

You are jumping too much into conclusion just based on one action, i.e. he tore the solemisation paper. Its only one sided story in here.

to share, I deal with anger management all my life. My old man chopped open the bedroom door while in argument with my mother when I was still in Primary school. I myself did so many things in anger, but I never laid my hand on my wife, not once.

There was once, I was so angry that I smashed my favourite watch from her on the glass table in front of her and my son. I made no excuse for it. She was shocked as she never saw this part of me before after all these years. The monster in me that I had learn to cope with mostly in my later years. She was mad with me for sometime, I screwed up and dealt with it. Gave no excuse but I'm sorry. Explaining to my son how wrong that was, how I have to learn from it. People can learn, we don't judge and make any conclusion from one single incident. I am as hands on in my wedding, renovations and parenting as possible.

In the previous post,I mentioned that ppl who think such action(tearing of paper) is a trivial matters may also do the same thing,I was right coz you also did a similar thing.whether you lay ur hands on ur wife or not,we will not know.u could have,denied it and she has forgiven u.hence I think u have no right to advise the TS since u have a history of anger mgmt problem.ur citing that it's a trivial issue becos u urself did the similar thing.hope u dun repeat the same mistake again becos given your temperament there is a high chance u would.

 

[Staypositive]

I don't know what you are talking about. Feeling its like a roti prata. Thanks for labelling others as 'typical mindset'. Do you have a track record and experience to showcase how unconventionally successful you are? Dude. that is uncalled for.

When you said its only U,Miloice,Infernolord and Ing.... wait... apart from the troll and youself, do you read comments from anyone else in this thread? This is the 7th month but its not that spooky lah.

Erm.there is another poster who gave a fair opinion rather than you ppl.anyway most of the comments are given by u.btw learn to respect other ppl opinions ,if not you are just another petty mcp who can't accept differing views.you said I labelled u,I dun think so coz it's a fact.must learn to reflect on ur own instead of bashing others.

 

[Staypositive]

Which part in my message did I say what he did was trivial. The reactions wasn't trivial. The initial issue of getting his attention was. To do it in the most condescending manner. We have seen how trivial disputes ended up with fights leaving someone dead. Judging by your logic, most women should dump their partners after seeing how they drive on the roads.

Everyone is capable to be really nice or nasty. No one lives a perfect life. The more short fuse one is, the more probably of things escalating fast. Let's not pretend it wouldn't happen to us.
Maturity is necessary to manage differences. To react and blame it on the situation and context, one removes themselves from any accountability of what happened. It has never been the case on who is more correct in couple disagreements. Going all the way to prove how right they are and how wrong their partners are just leave resentments. To just look at what he did but not how the entire fight escalated, is being blind to the factors. Whether she should leave him or not, there are still lots of reflections she could do in managing differences in her future relationships.

Both party should shoulder some form of responsibility but the male party is at a greater need to change isn't it?what he did is totally uncalled for.he can give a million reasons to explain his action but it is Not an excuse for his action.if u did not hand in ur work on time and u told ur boss becos u dun have time to complete as you have many other tasks on hand at the same time,do you think ur boss will let the matter off?

 

[miloice]

Both party should shoulder some form of responsibility but the male party is at a greater need to change isn't it?what he did is totally uncalled for.he can give a million reasons to explain his action but it is Not an excuse for his action.if u did not hand in ur work on time and u told ur boss becos u dun have time to complete as you have many other tasks on hand at the same time,do you think ur boss will let the matter off?

You are stuck in the who is in the wrong mentality. No relationship improves and sustain with such mindset. Accepting flaws and growing together requires acknowledging their issues and dealing with them together. Your non stop insisting on bashing the guy is pointless. No one is excusing the guy. I still dont understand your point and stand. How is it helping and different from what has been brought up.

Simple question. How and which part is so mcp? I kept reminding u that we are basically mentioning thst same thing except the very contradicting part that somehow u want the guy to be mainly accountable and.yet very willing to trivalize the impt lessons the couple could learn. Ignoring clearly it's only her words here. She was pleading for comments that went silent when responds hasn't been condemning either parties but suggesting how they can manage better in future.

 

[ing1]

I think we shld stop debating who's side we are on. For all you know, the parties involved may have already kiss and make up.

 

[miloice]

I think we shld stop debating who's side we are on. For all you know, the parties involved may have already kiss and make up.

Frankly, no one else is siding anyone. There is only Staypositive that is insisting to take a side over a one sided story.

 

[Staypositive]

Frankly, no one else is siding anyone. There is only Staypositive that is insisting to take a side over a one sided story.

Can you Stop insisting I'm taking sides.im not taking sides at all.just because I say the guy need to change his behaviour u said I'm taking side.do you ever think at all?who is the one jumping to conclusion ?stop all this personal attacks.LEARN TO RESPECT OTHERS!

 

[Staypositive]

I think we shld stop debating who's side we are on. For all you know, the parties involved may have already kiss and make up.

Miloice is the one who starts being defensive becos ppl Must agree with him.

 

[Staypositive]

You are stuck in the who is in the wrong mentality. No relationship improves and sustain with such mindset. Accepting flaws and growing together requires acknowledging their issues and dealing with them together. Your non stop insisting on bashing the guy is pointless. No one is excusing the guy. I still dont understand your point and stand. How is it helping and different from what has been brought up.

Simple question. How and which part is so mcp? I kept reminding u that we are basically mentioning thst same thing except the very contradicting part that somehow u want the guy to be mainly accountable and.yet very willing to trivalize the impt lessons the couple could learn. Ignoring clearly it's only her words here. She was pleading for comments that went silent when responds hasn't been condemning either parties but suggesting how they can manage better in future.

Being MCP is others must follow and accept his opinion.for the umpteen times I'm not siding with anyone.its wrong to display such behaviour.why are u so concerned abt blaming the guy?in actual fact you are the one taking sides.the guy side.

 

[miloice]

this is endless. roti prata to the max.

yes, you are NOT TAKING SIDES but start deciding he has no right to tear solemnizer.... You decided.
"Both party should shoulder some form of responsibility but the male party is at a greater need to change isn't it"
Again you DECIDED....

What was pointed out by everyone including Reegee
Guy was wrong to tear.
He probably have anger issue
The entire story is solely based on TS story
there are better way to manage it.

So, which part I sided with the guy? I pointed out we didn't get the full story. That her story is probably biased which is very human and normal. Just look at the discussion here. Despite repeating so many times, you just don't seem to register. Oh.... that is so MCP. Wonderful. Clap for you. Enough flipping, the prata is getting burnt.

 

[Staypositive]

this is endless. roti prata to the max.

yes, you are NOT TAKING SIDES but start deciding he has no right to tear solemnizer.... You decided.
"Both party should shoulder some form of responsibility but the male party is at a greater need to change isn't it"
Again you DECIDED....

What was pointed out by everyone including Reegee
Guy was wrong to tear.
He probably have anger issue
The entire story is solely based on TS story
there are better way to manage it.

So, which part I sided with the guy? I pointed out we didn't get the full story. That her story is probably biased which is very human and normal. Just look at the discussion here. Despite repeating so many times, you just don't seem to register. Oh.... that is so MCP. Wonderful. Clap for you. Enough flipping, the prata is getting burnt.

You are jumping to conclusion.even if we get the full story,does it mean the guy can did what he did just like that.you seem to imply that it is ok for him to do that since he is being provoked.coz you keep repeating there is no complete story.the gist of the matter is the guy reaction to the girl behaviour.his action is quite extreme.frustrated or not gives u no right to thrash things.u can just walk away.can't you?

 

[miloice]

You are jumping to conclusion.even if we get the full story,does it mean the guy can did what he did just like that.you seem to imply that it is ok for him to do that since he is being provoked.coz you keep repeating there is no complete story.the gist of the matter is the guy reaction to the girl behaviour.his action is quite extreme.frustrated or not gives u no right to thrash things.u can just walk away.can't you?

NO, I didn't imply that. I state exactly what it is, we don't have enough information to conclude. you concluded. I didn't. See the difference?

It is pointless to assume, its better that the couple reflect honestly themselves to come with their own conclusions. Only they know the sequences of events, what was said. When they shared openly after calming down, only then, they will shed some light of each other perspectives.

 

[ing1]

You are jumping to conclusion.even if we get the full story,does it mean the guy can did what he did just like that.you seem to imply that it is ok for him to do that since he is being provoked.coz you keep repeating there is no complete story.the gist of the matter is the guy reaction to the girl behaviour.his action is quite extreme.frustrated or not gives u no right to thrash things.u can just walk away.can't you?

Just curious, if the parties are switched in the same case, guy provoked gal, gal tore up the consent paper. Do u think that the gal shld have walked away instead?

 

[newproject]

this is endless. roti prata to the max.

yes, you are NOT TAKING SIDES but start deciding he has no right to tear solemnizer.... You decided.
"Both party should shoulder some form of responsibility but the male party is at a greater need to change isn't it"
Again you DECIDED....

What was pointed out by everyone including Reegee
Guy was wrong to tear.
He probably have anger issue
The entire story is solely based on TS story
there are better way to manage it.

So, which part I sided with the guy? I pointed out we didn't get the full story. That her story is probably biased which is very human and normal. Just look at the discussion here. Despite repeating so many times, you just don't seem to register. Oh.... that is so MCP. Wonderful. Clap for you. Enough flipping, the prata is getting burnt.

Seriously Miloice give it up.

His typical mo is

1. Tell the girl the guy is abusive, she should think twice

2. When challenged (particularly by many) he will change his tune slightly claim he is not one sided. But still he posts crap like this

Can you Stop insisting I'm taking sides.im not taking sides at all.just because I say the guy need to change his behaviour u said I'm taking side.

Yes while insisting he is not taking sides he still only mentions the guy needs to change but doesn't mention the girl.

Yes not one sided at all.

I also find staypostive takes words very literally and is unable to detect sarcasm (I tested him once). He has a very simple minded view of things , it's all black or white for him always that's why nuanced positions eludes him.

 

[newproject]

Just curious, if the parties are switched in the same case, guy provoked gal, gal tore up the consent paper. Do u think that the gal shld have walked away instead?

Very good q. But the phrasing of his post gives it away.

To my knowledge staypostive has only condemned a woman once and

1. It's that famous troll (who isn't the first woman to confess having an affair but of course not in such a matter)

2. Strangely he didn't comment on that troll threads for days (while commenting on others) untìl ì challenged him in another thread using that as an example of him being biased. Then he went crazy in that thread.

But if you ask him directly like you just did he's going to say he will say the same thing regardless of gender.

A better test is post like a real poster and you will see his true colors.

I'm half way convinced that troll is doing it on purpose to see if he can for once provoke to not defend a girl.

 

[Staypositive]

Just curious, if the parties are switched in the same case, guy provoked gal, gal tore up the consent paper. Do u think that the gal shld have walked away instead?

Yes the gal should walk away.btw you should have a mind of ur own and not be easily affected by others.

 

[Staypositive]

NO, I didn't imply that. I state exactly what it is, we don't have enough information to conclude. you concluded. I didn't. See the difference?

It is pointless to assume, its better that the couple reflect honestly themselves to come with their own conclusions. Only they know the sequences of events, what was said. When they shared openly after calming down, only then, they will shed some light of each other perspectives.

No point arguing with u.i only mentioned both parties must change but the guy action is needs more attention.fine if you dun get it.thot ur better than that newproject guy but looks like it's not.

 

[Staypositive]

Just curious, if the parties are switched in the same case, guy provoked gal, gal tore up the consent paper. Do u think that the gal shld have walked away instead?

Very good q. But the phrasing of his post gives it away.

To my knowledge staypostive has only condemned a woman once and

1. It's that famous troll (who isn't the first woman to confess having an affair but of course not in such a matter)

2. Strangely he didn't comment on that troll threads for days (while commenting on others) untìl ì challenged him in another thread using that as an example of him being biased. Then he went crazy in that thread.

But if you ask him directly like you just did he's going to say he will say the same thing regardless of gender.

A better test is post like a real poster and you will see his true colors.

I'm half way convinced that troll is doing it on purpose to see if he can for once provoke to not defend a girl.

Childish behaviour from a middle aged man.shameful.ur acting like a loser and giving that woman a chance to laugh at u.

Just admit if ur not happy about highlighting men flaws.still say ur not biased.reflect on urself first before you talk about others.doesn't ur so called years of experience teach u that??

anyway people have minds of their own to decide what is Really Happening.i dun see how gd is ur character with ur criticism.I hope u will reflect and stop attacking others.

 

[Cath_rina]

Useless singaporean men fighting over something trivial. No wonder you are all losing the local women to Caucasians.

 

[Poh Huay Mei]

Thank you all for inputs. This is my first time posting on a forum and this is the multiple reponses I get.
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What happened the next day..
The guy reprint and fill up a detail and scan it.

Woman was angry but learnt that guy has a hard day and the woman being impatient yelled at the guy.

The man and woman both has temper ... cool down talk it out and realsied the man just want peace at home.

Childish or not childish? I also dont know