any couples who do not intend to have children?

[cheesecakefan123]

just had a conversation with mother-in-law who hold a traditional mindset about parenthood. she seems quite shocked when i expressed my intention that i do not want to have babies after marriage.

Wondering if there is any couples who are of the same situation? - those who do not intend to have children

 

[Ziraffe]

So to you, having babies in a marriage is considered "traditional"? I am so glad that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both hold a "traditional" mindset to have babies!

Can I label marriage couples who do not want to have babies as selfish then? No, I do not and I cannot.

Please do not "label" others including your MIL even if you do not agree or think like them. You should have thank her for giving birth to her son, your now husband.

To couples who choose to have babies or not, it is a choice (let's not talk about the unplanned and those whom find it difficult to get pregnant). It is not whether you have a "traditional" mindset or not. It is more of a joy to add into the family. Do not bring down others to support your own views.

Ok, I am done. By the way, I have a daughter whom I see as a daily pain in the ass but also an abundance of joy in my life!

 

[cheesecakefan123]

@Ziraffe , pls be mindful of your words there

 

[buddhabar]

There's no right or wrong in having children or not. It's a choice As long as you and your husband concur on it. Else either party will feel unfulfil, short change and that will a major strain in the marriage. MIL has no say unless she has multi millions heritage to pass on lol! Just kidding

 

[miloice]

@Ziraffe , pls be mindful of your words there

Come on, don't be so sensitive. Ziraffe is being frank. Most folks expect their children to start a family after marriage. This is not something surprising at all. What is surprising is that you have to be the one that manage his folks than him communicating with his own mother. I strongly suggest that you should involve your husband in communicating sensitive topics with his mum. Mother in law and daughter in law rivalry and conflict isn't rocket science, its so real to many marriages. So, do handle it with care.

Personally, I proposed and married my wife simply because I want a life with her, with or without kids. That plan came only 7 years after marriage after sudden my passing of my father. As a teen, I grew up hating kids finding them nothing but annoyance. How different is my view now. I'm as hands on and involved in my kids lives as I could be. My wife regretted not having them earlier now. Life is full of choices, we evolve with the journey. Enjoy what it has for you and don't assume your needs and views will be constant for life.

Congrats on your marriage, enjoy your unique journey. Cheers.

 

[miloice]

MIL has no say unless she has multi millions heritage to pass on lol! Just kidding

I like the heritage part. LOL

 

[Infernolord]

Just my view, in every stage of life and rs. There is always something a couple work on and keep the rs going.
Like a dating to marry then starting a family. I strongly feel that have a kid will make a rs stronger. Bond stronger.
haha maybe i am "traditional". At least a couple have something to look forward to in life.

 

[newproject]

As always I agree with infernolord.

Young people these days ah.. Why don't want have kids?

No wonder gahmen need import so many foreigners cos falling birth rate... Hope the gahmen tax you all gao gao and change law deny you bto.

OK joking, it's your life do what you want. BUT if you still young don't be so sure. People do change their minds.

 

[Babyface84xo]

As always I agree with infernolord.

Young people these days ah.. Why don't want have kids?

No wonder gahmen need import so many foreigners cos falling birth rate... Hope the gahmen tax you all gao gao and change law deny you bto.

OK joking, it's your life do what you want. BUT if you still young don't be so sure. People do change their minds.

Speaking to a younger colleague, he says he has to work abit harder and wait a few more years so they can support a child without compromising their current lifestyle.. I think that is a good point and he is thinking about his future and finances without giving in to family pressure to have kids.

People can only say this and that but at the end of the day, if u follow what others say, u have to bear the consequences. So do what's best for you

 

[newproject]

There's a different between waiting to have kids and couples who before married already agree no kids...

 

[ing1]

There are also couples who want to have kids but can't have them.

 

[Ziraffe]

There are also couples who want to have kids but can't have them.

*hugs*

 

[Ziraffe]

Firstly, thank you brothers and sister for liking my post! The feeling is like adrenaline rushing through my veins and making me high, oh yeah..!

Lame, ha.

@Ziraffe , pls be mindful of your words there

@cheesecakefan123, you are right in saying that. If I am mindful of my words, I will not be posting my earlier post.

Over here in the forum, everyone don't really know each other physically and thus we tends to speak our own minds and that is the truth we believe in. Some may find it rude and unbearable. Or maybe they are being misunderstood, thus the upset.

If I have hurt your feelings because I have misunderstood your intentions, I apologize to you.

But if I have hurt your feelings because I have spoken the truth, and nothing but the truth, then... I also apologize to you. I can be frank but I need to be mindful too. I will bear that in mind when writing my posts in the future.

Ok, I am curious as hell. Why do you not intent to have a baby? I mean babies are the cutest living creature you will ever seen beside a puppy! Have you watch the movie <The Boss Baby>? It is super hilarious!

Care to share?

 

[Ziraffe]

Firstly, thank you brothers and sister for liking my post! The feeling is like adrenaline rushing through my veins and making me high, oh yeah..!

Lame, ha.



@cheesecakefan123, you are right in saying that. If I am mindful of my words, I will not be posting my earlier post.

Over here in the forum, everyone don't really know each other physically and thus we tends to speak our own minds and that is the truth we believe in. Some may find it rude and unbearable. Or maybe they are being misunderstood, thus the upset.

If I have hurt your feelings because I have misunderstood your intentions, I apologize to you.

But if I have hurt your feelings because I have spoken the truth, and nothing but the truth, then... I also apologize to you. I can be frank but I need to be mindful too. I will bear that in mind when writing my posts in the future.

Ok, I am curious as hell. Why do you not intent to have a baby? I mean babies are the cutest living creature you will ever seen beside a puppy! Have you watch the movie <The Boss Baby>? It is super hilarious!

Care to share?

Oh great, the fonts are so different when you draft your reply on the draft email and "copy-and-paste" onto here.. Interesting..

 

[Staypositive]

So to you, having babies in a marriage is considered "traditional"? I am so glad that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie both hold a "traditional" mindset to have babies!

Can I label marriage couples who do not want to have babies as selfish then? No, I do not and I cannot.

Please do not "label" others including your MIL even if you do not agree or think like them. You should have thank her for giving birth to her son, your now husband.

To couples who choose to have babies or not, it is a choice (let's not talk about the unplanned and those whom find it difficult to get pregnant). It is not whether you have a "traditional" mindset or not. It is more of a joy to add into the family. Do not bring down others to support your own views.

Ok, I am done. By the way, I have a daughter whom I see as a daily pain in the ass but also an abundance of joy in my life!

Having a child is a blessing.a joy to the married couple.dun make ur decisions too fast.let nature take its course.a cherubic smile from a child will certainly melt ur heart.

 

[buddhabar]

TS, in case you are not aware. A marriage without children takes hell lot more to maintain to last a lifetime.

 

[Aj.tan]

just had a conversation with mother-in-law who hold a traditional mindset about parenthood. she seems quite shocked when i expressed my intention that i do not want to have babies after marriage.

Wondering if there is any couples who are of the same situation? - those who do not intend to have children

Don't really wants kids but I'm a little luckier - no one is pressuring me to have one. *pats*

 

[JaneLi]

Well, i think the best way is to have a heart to heart talk with your mother in law to let her know where you're coming from... maybe u don't want a kid now but in the future maybe you would want 1 ... things change as we speak.

 

[cheesecakefan123]

Don't really wants kids but I'm a little luckier - no one is pressuring me to have one. *pats*

Agreed with you.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7300970

There is also this article that talks about having children as a personal choice. Don't understand why some people have to be so judgmental about not having kids. It just takes one to be more open in accepting people's life choices. Just as there are also other people who choose to be single unmarried etc.

 

[Infernolord]

Agreed with you.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7300970

There is also this article that talks about having children as a personal choice. Don't understand why some people have to be so judgmental about not having kids. It just takes one to be more open in accepting people's life choices. Just as there are also other people who choose to be single unmarried etc.

Well this article just summarise of interviews/reasons for those people who do not have kids.
The author have twins..

 

[michwoon]

It's a choice if you don't want to have kids. If you ever change your mind in the future, I can recommend Dr. Kelly Loi. She guided us in our pregnancy journey. She considers our choices and what we want and provides us with the best solutions.

 

[leonalau]

For those thinking about not having kids or maybe considering it later, just wanted to recommend Dr. Regina Zuzarte-Ng. She's been fantastic in guiding us through our pregnancy journey, always respecting our choices. If you ever rethink your decision, Dr Regina is the person to consult. She really listens to what you want and provides personalized solutions.

 

[Crimson_Rosewood]

There is no right or wrong, its a matter of choice. Once you made a choice of not having children make sure you dont regret your decision later on. Theres no need to be pressured on society expectations on having children after marriage. My mom-in-law do also expressed to me before that she wanted me to have a child. But luckily for me she didnt pressure as much because my husband is the youngest child in the family and the oldest one have 2 boys so there's already a next generation garenteed.

We all have our own reasons, Im married to my husband for 8+ years. My mindset has changed over the years, in the beginning I wanted to have kids. However, as life goes on my marriage was like a roller coaster, it has its ups and downs too..and TBH its the many downs in marriage that made me change my mind of having children. The strain in my marriage, he just didnt prove to me or give me any stability/confidence to have kids together. There's also the part of financial issues, our pay is only just enough to survive for both of us every month ( we are both middle incomed)

Alot of people will say that its selfish that we are not contributing to society. But what to do? we need to survive, i dont want to bring in a child to this world just to suffer....If I want to have a child I want to make sure my child is happy and I can provide financially. Currently i already have a hard time dealing with my husband he's such a manchild and hot tempered too! He's gets angry at me easily on the little things, problems that can be solved easily. Ive always been very accommodating and calm when this situation arises but it has definitely damaged me emotionally. Ive also caught him cheating few years back, which I forgave him. With all these going on how to have a child with him? I also dont feel any support from my job as well, if i told my boss im pregnant my boss will sure ask me to quit. As a 37 year old I am contented with the way my life is of not having no children.