Festive Season blues

buddhabar

Active Member
Here comes the lunar Chinese new year again,
I dread festive season more than ever, due to the endless
"kaypo" relatives asking the obvious questions which were
answered exactly the same year after year.
I went travelling last year, but my kids seems to miss
the festive fun which is unfair to them since it's my headache
not theirs.

Any suggestions on how to avoid "kaypo" relatives asking about my
broken marriage and family?
 


jkwedding308

Active Member
Here comes the lunar Chinese new year again,
I dread festive season more than ever, due to the endless
"kaypo" relatives asking the obvious questions which were
answered exactly the same year after year.
I went travelling last year, but my kids seems to miss
the festive fun which is unfair to them since it's my headache
not theirs.

Any suggestions on how to avoid "kaypo" relatives asking about my
broken marriage and family?

Sorry to hear that you have to deal with such relatives. Some of them can really be "busybody" and "thick-skinned" and never seem to get your hint, eh? Just politely thank them for their "concern" and tell them that you prefer not to dwell on the past and that you just wanna be a good parent to your kids. If they still "push" you, just hint off gently to them, "I didn't know you like dwelling on the past this much. Ruminating on an issue for a long period of time, especially when you keep asking me the same questions for the past X number of years, is never a good sign, especially when that issue is no concern of yours. Don't you know that it's unhealthy for your mind?" and smile at them. That should at least stun them speechless for a while and unless they have a really thick skull, it should then sink into their brains to stop pestering you with all these unnecessary questions... ;)
 
Here comes the lunar Chinese new year again,
I dread festive season more than ever, due to the endless
"kaypo" relatives asking the obvious questions which were
answered exactly the same year after year.
I went travelling last year, but my kids seems to miss
the festive fun which is unfair to them since it's my headache
not theirs.

Any suggestions on how to avoid "kaypo" relatives asking about my
broken marriage and family?
Hide in some cave like what buddha would do? Or go for a short staycation.

What an age old topic. Never bothered me cos my relatives have more or less scattered. Even when meet, also talk more about how my folks are. Guess its the personalities that you have in your "village".
 

miloice

Well-Known Member
we cannot stop what others say, ignore. If it is too imposing, talk to them privately that you do not wish to talk about it in the family gatherings.

Other than that, its about how you cope with it. Focus on the positives. As you mentioned, your kids missed the bonding. Focus on the bonding, expect and ignore the endless questions from the kapo. They will always be kapo and you will only need to deal with them once yearly.
 

MissVain

New Member
You might want to try saying thanks for their concentrate but such happy occasion it does seem not at a right place to discuss such matters esp when kids are around, "don't you agree? " phase with count of 1, 2, 3.
I appreciate your concern for me but I prefer to not discuss for personal reasons.
 
wow! now you sounds just like my relatives! huh? what? really? is that so?
what happen? aiyo........

thanks for the warming up. I am all ready now :D
I feel you as I face the same problem when I was divorced. The best is not to visit your relatives for a short while. I don't think not visiting a year or two makes a difference.

If you are not yet divorced but in an unhappy marriage, then you can just tell them that your wife is not free to visit. That would help reduce the awkwardness for a short while.
 

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