Singaporebrides | Weddings 101
September 2024
The 101 Guide to A Bridesmaid’s Duties and Responsibilities
Have you been asked to be a bridesmaid? Prepare for your role as one of the bride’s most important aide with our guide on the duties and responsibilities of a bridesmaid.
Being asked to be a bridesmaid for a family member or your bestie is an honour and joy, but it also comes with a great deal of responsibilities and important duties that are crucial to making her wedding day a success. You’ll play a central role in supporting your bride and ensuring everything runs smoothly, from the pre-wedding preparations to post-wedding celebrations.
Whether you’re a seasoned bridesmaid or one who’s stepping into the role for the first time, it is important that you understand what’s expected of you as a bridesmaid so you are prepared to shoulder the responsibilities that come with the role. To give you an idea of the role you’ll be undertaking, we’ve compiled a list of essential bridesmaid’s duties and responsibilities that are expected of you, broken down into before, during and after the wedding day.
What makes a Bridesmaid?
Sarah and Joel’s Fun and Cheery Wedding at EMPRESS at the Asian Civilisation Museum by Bottled Groove PhotographyA bridesmaid is often a close friend or family member of the bride’s, and is entrusted with several important responsibilities to help the bride with her wedding planning and to support her through this exciting but sometimes trying journey. If you have been chosen to be a bridesmaid, take the invitation as an honour and compliment as it is symbolic of a deep bond between you and the bride, and her trust in you.
Your key role as a bridesmaid, should you agree to be one, is to be willing to help with anything the bride needs help with and participate in key events of the wedding before, during and even after her big day is over. That may sometimes mean you may need to fork out time or money to help her with the planning of the wedding and related events, so before you accept an invitation to be someone’s bridesmaid, do be sure that you are ready to bear the full weight of a bridesmaid.
Is there a difference between being a bridesmaid and a maid of honour?
Although both a bridesmaid and a maid of honour share the task of helping the bride with her wedding planning, there is a slight difference between the two. For starters, a bride can have as many bridesmaids as she wants, but she will only have one maid of honour in her bridal party. While both a bridesmaid and a maid of honur are important members of her bridal party and have a close relationship with her, a maid of honour is her closest confidant and her right-hand person, and is in charge of leading the rest of her bridesmaids in their responsibilities.
With great power comes great responsibilities, and as maid of honour, you’ll be at the forefront of the wedding planning chaos, responsible for ensuring the bride gets the help she needs, organising key wedding events and being there for the bride emotionally and physically throughout her entire wedding journey. So, do make sure that you’ll be able to commit to these important responsibilities before you agree to be a maid of honour.
What are the duties of a bridesmaid and maid of honour?
Bridesmaids and a maid of honour share the same set of duties in their quest to help the bride with her wedding planning, with the maid of honour taking up more of a leadership role. Before you commit yourself to either role, you should understand what is expected of you.
Before The Wedding
1. Be Emotionally Supportive
Calista and Christopher’s Big and Gorgeous Wedding at Raffles Hotel Jakarta by IluminenPlanning her wedding will be one of the most stressful and toughest times of her life, aside from it also being one of the most exciting and memorable, and she’ll need all the support she can get from her girls. Be her listening ear as she expresses not only her excitement and joy, but also her worries and frustrations, and offer her comfort in these moments of distress, if not by words then simply by being there by her side and allowing her to vent.
You can also be her emotional support by providing her with encouragement when she feels overwhelmed by the many decisions she has to make or the pressure she is facing. Gently remind her to take breaks and focus on the bigger picture instead of the nitty-gritty details that have no impact on her future with her beloved. It is also important to make her feel supported, understood and loved during this journey, so check in with her every now and then to see how she’s feeling or plan a relaxing outing to take her mind off the stresses of wedding planning to help lighten her emotional load.
2. Be Her Sounding Board
As a trusted friend and confidant, bridesmaids are an invaluable sounding board for a bride to safely express her ideas, concerns and emotions without any fear of judgment. Help the bride through difficult decisions by listening attentively to her concerns and offer a balanced perspective and your honest feedback on what you feel is the best way forward for her.
Now, that does not mean you agree or disagree with whatever she is happy or unhappy about. If your thoughtful advice challenges her thoughts, voice them tactfully and respectfully, to help her see all perspectives before she makes a decision. Your duty as a bridesmaid is to be a safe place for the bride to vent, brainstorm, and explore her thoughts freely, knowing that she has an audience who will listen and provide honest and constructive output with her well-being at heart.
3. Be Ready To Help With Any Task
Carolyn and Nicholas’s Fun Wedding at Mandarin Oriental Singapore by Antelope StudiosAs a bridesmaid or maid of honour, one of your primary duties is to be her right and left hand person, ready to jump in and help whenever and wherever she needs you to. It could be as trivial as helping to pick up wedding items or as important as accompanying her to her bridal gown appointment to help her decide on the perfect wedding dress. Regardless of how important or unimportant the task is, it is your job to help her with it.
4. Help Plan Wedding Related Events
As a bridesmaid, you play a pivotal role in making wedding related events enjoyable and stress-free for the bride, which means you’ll be undertaking the important role of planning and organising these events. One such event you’ll be in charge of planning would be the bachelorette’s party. But before you jump right into planning, you might want to sound the bride out on what she’s expecting for her bachelorette’s party.
Is she looking for a wild night out for a bachelorette party, or does she prefer more intimate and cosy gathering where she can spend time with her best girlies? Once you have an idea of the kind of celebration she is looking for, you can start planning with the rest of the girls, working out the itinerary, budget and logistics for the day. Remember, the whole goal is to lighten her load and plan her a celebration she can enjoy and relax in the midst of her wedding planning journey.
5. Attend Key Wedding Events, Before, During or After The Big Day
Patricia and Martijn’s Island Luxe Wedding in Khayangan Estate, Bali by Putra Bali PhotographyAs a bridesmaid, it is your fundamental duty to attend any key wedding events before, during or after the big day in show of support for the bride. This includes events such as the bachelorette’s party, the actual wedding day and any post wedding celebrations, where your show of support and celebration of joy for the bride’s momentous milestone is key to creating a memorable and meaningful celebration for the happy couple.
6. Keep It Drama Free
In some cases, not all of the bridesmaids in the bridal party are familiar with one another. Since you may or not may come from the same group of friends, it is possible for personalities to clash or misunderstanding to arise within the group. Refrain from getting into a row with one of your fellow bridesmaids and letting the bride to be the middleman for the group. Your role as a bridesmaid is to be her support system and help lighten her load, not to add on to it. So, be cordial and considerate of everyone within the group and come together as one to aid the bride in her wedding planning journey.
During The Wedding
7. Liaise with and manage wedding vendors
Hui Ming and Zi Han’s Elegant Wedding at Capella Singapore with Ethereal Blue and Sweet Pastel Blooms by Thomas Tan PhotographyOn her big day, the bride should be allowed to enjoy her day without any stress or anxiety, and it is her bridesmaids’ duty to help her do so by taking over the job of liaising with and managing her wedding vendors on the wedding day.
One of you will be making sure that the necessary vendors are on time and schedule, as well as act as the point of contact between the bride and her vendors to streamline any form of communication. This will help alleviate the bride’s stress levels from having to check up on her vendors’ progress and help the vendors to focus on overseeing their part of the event set-up.
8. Be Familiar with The Wedding Day Schedule
Another fundamental duty for a bridesmaid is to be familiar with the wedding day schedule. Your main job on her wedding day is to take over the responsibility of overseeing the success of the celebration, so she can enjoy and bask in the happiest day of her life. That means, you’ll need to be familiar with the wedding day schedule to make sure every program on it runs according to plan, and everyone involved is on time and where they need to be, doing what they need to do.
Since the day is a long one filled with multiple important events, the maid of honour can assign members of the bridal party to be in charge of part of the schedule, so everyone can take turns to manage different parts of the day to ensure every segment goes according to plan.
9. Work Closely With the groomsmen
Lena and Yonglong’s Vibrant and Colourful Wedding at Artemis Grill Sky Bar by Oddly Familiar PhotographyBridesmaids should also work closely with the groom’s groomsmen to share the workload of ensuring the day goes smoothly and according to plan for the newlyweds. This includes splitting the responsibilities of welcoming and guiding guests to their seats, collecting and manning the angbaos, coming together for a photoshoot with the happy couple, making sure there is zero or little delay in the day’s various segments, and of course, guiding guests for the customary wedding photo with the bride and groom.
10. Feed the Bride and Groom
Since the happy couple may be busy getting themselves ready for their big day and keeping in time with their busy wedding schedule, they may not have time for much food or drinks. Or, they may simply be too nervous (or excited!) to have much of an appetite. However, it is important that they keep themselves fed and hydrate throughout the day, so the responsibility to make sure that they eat and drink at least a little something falls on their bridal party, their bridesmaids and groomsmen.
Pack a small bag of easy-to-eat snacks like nuts and crackers, or if you have time, finger sandwiches, and bottles of water, so they can eat without dirtying their outfits as they travel from one location to another.
11. Ensure that the bride has everything she needs
Khye Theng and Tony’s Romantic and Timeless Wedding with Pops of Blue at Villa Plenilunio Bali by MomentsbyJeremyBeing a bridesmaid means being responsible for the bride’s wellbeing – mentally, emotionally and physically. On a day as exciting and nerve-wrecking as her wedding day, it is your duty as her bridesmaid to ease her load and calm her nerves, allowing her to relax and focus on the joy and significance of the day. That means, you need to ensure that she has everything she needs, even if she does not ask for it.
Anticipate her needs and check in with her every now and then to see if she needs anything, whether it is emotional support she needs or practical needs like help going to the bathroom with her big, fluffy gown. Regardless of what she needs, it is your responsibility to provide it.
After The Wedding
12. Help with Packing Up and Returns
After the highs of the day winds down at the end of the day, send the happy couple up to their bridal suite to rest and bask in their newlywed joy, and stay back with the rest of your fellow bridesmaids and groomsmen to tie up the loose ends. Work together to make sure no valuables are left behind at the venue and deliver the angbaos safely to the couple’s room, and vendors turn up on time to collect their respective items by the venue’s cut-off time.
If there are any items that need returning after the wedding, offer to return them on the newlyweds’ behalf so they can enjoy their post-wedding bliss fully.
13. Attend Any Post-Wedding Celebrations
Kulvin and Dilip’s Gorgeously Bright and Colourful Luxe Coastal Wedding in Da Nang by The Photo Lab – MumbaiJust like what your attendance means for wedding events before and during the wedding day, your attendance is required and necessary for any post-wedding celebrations, be it a post-wedding brunch or a thank-you dinner for the entire squad. These gatherings are great opportunities for the bride and groom to express their gratitude for your help with the wedding, and let their hair down and enjoy a stress-free time with their closest friends and confidants.
What should you be prepared to do as a bridesmaid or maid of honour?
You’ve probably gathered as much, but whether you are a bridesmaid or a maid of honour, your role holds great responsibility and means a great deal to your bride. If you’ve agreed to take on this huge responsibility, you should be prepared to fully commit mentally, physically, emotionally and financially, because once you’ve said ‘Yes’ to being a bridesmaid or maid of honour, there is no backing out.
Credits: Feature image from Eunice and Jeremy’s Lively Wedding at Monti at 1-Pavilion by Freddy Wong Photography.
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