Singaporebrides | Relationships

July 2020

7 Easy Ways to Avoid Pre-Wedding Fights With Your Love

Have you been arguing more with your groom-to-be ever since you started on your wedding planning? Don’t worry, it’s very common, and we have pinpoint some pre-wedding issues you can nip in the bud so you can recognise them before an argument starts.

Wedding planning can be both an exciting and stressful time for couples as they deal with the coordination of their very first large scale event and juggle with their own expectations for their wedding as well as their family and friends’. It is almost inevitable for arguments to surface and turn this amazing experience into a negative one. If you are or have been experiencing more than usual quarrelling with your partner, take solace in the knowledge that you are neither the first nor the only one who is going through this during the wedding planning phase.

As easy as it is for these pre-wedding quarrels to surface during your wedding planning, they can be just as easily resolved if you follow these seven simple ways to prevent them from happening.

1. Decide on a wedding budget right from the start

Kristine and Sean’s Intimate White Wedding at Botanico at The Garage by Arture Photography

It is unfortunate that even in something as romantic as getting married to the love of your life, money can become a source of conflict if you aren’t on the same page. To avoid any money quarrels, always start your wedding planning by deciding on a figure that you and your groom-to-be are comfortable with spending on your once-in-a-lifetime.

Be as honest and clear as you can on what areas you are willing to splurge on and which you are okay with cutting back on during your discussion, so that you are both clear on which aspect of the wedding you hold dear and can work towards accommodating these areas in your budget or come to a compromise.

You should also try to stick to the general rule of cutting back on other areas if you splurge on one, so you don’t end up spending beyond your budget and means.

2. Always be each other’s support and friend, not enemy

Xue Qi and Chun Wai’s Ethereal and Romantic Vow Renewal Styled Shoot at Buangkok Crescent Field by Present on Pixels

When it comes to weddings, many couples find themselves sandwiched between what they want and what their parents want for their wedding. Most will feel obligated to comply with their parents’ wants over their own, and this may lead to plenty of frustration and unhappiness between the couple.

You may feel tempted to take it out on your groom-to-be, but it helps to remember that he is not the enemy here (and neither is your soon-to-be parents-in-law) and might be stuck between a rock and a hard place as well. Instead, tackle the issue and work on a solution together, and be each other’s support instead. Talk to your families as one and explain to them why you cannot accommodate their requests, and ask for their understanding and support of your decision as a couple.

3. Be firm with your decision on who has the final say on your guest list

Hui Min and Tiong Li’s Modern and Intimate Wedding at Si Chuan Dou Hua by Alone Together

From how many guests each side is entitled to invite to being obligated to invite your parents’ guests to your wedding when you don’t want to, the wedding guest list is almost guaranteed to be every soon-to-be-wed couple’s pitfall.

Steer clear of an argument over your wedding guest list by making it clear that only you and your groom should get the final say over who gets invited to your wedding from the get-go. Discuss with your groom-to-be on how many guests you are each allowed to invite, and stick to that number. Don’t let your parents guilt-trip you into inviting theirguests to your wedding if you don’t want to, especially if you are planning an intimate celebration and have to forgo your guests to make way for your parents’ guests.

4. Stop comparing your wedding with another

Rachel and Aaron’s Intimate and Unplugged Wedding at Maison Miaja by Andri Tei Photography

With the use of social media and weddings being more and more publicised these days, it is hard not to compare what you’ve planned for your wedding with another bride’s, want what she had and try to outdo her. If you are planning your wedding based on the above formula, we have a word of advice for you: stop!

There is nothing in that plan except misery! While it is okay to admire, attempting to copy or outdo another bride’s wedding at the expense of your budget is not only not okay, it is also not healthy. The constant comparison will give way to feelings of discontentment, especially if you are unable to achieve what you want to due to your budget constraints.

Instead of trying to copy or outdo another bride, focus on making your wedding celebration a unique one by trying to see if you can inject your own spin to the element you liked from her wedding at the budget you and your groom-to-be decided on. That way, you’ll be creating precious memories with your groom-to-be as both of you journey to create the perfect wedding for you.

5. Don’t forget to, and never stop communicating with each other

Hailey and Clifford’s Exquisite Wedding at The White Rabbitby Germaine from Bridelope Productions

Communication is key to the success of any relationship, especially that between a husband and wife. Your wedding planning is the perfect time to test your communication with each other and fine tune it for your marriage ahead.

If you disagree with something your partner said or did, or if you are unhappy that he/she went ahead with her decision without consulting you first, don’t bottle it up and let the unhappiness fester inside of you until it explodes. Instead, let them know what is bothering you and why in a constructive manner. Discuss how you can avoid the same issue in the future and work towards a solution for the current situation.

6. Try to accommodate each other’s wants equally because it is as much your wedding as it is his

Britney and Eugene’s Resplendent Spring Wedding at The Ritz-Carlton, Millenia Singapore by Trouve

As much as the wedding is your day, is it also your groom’s day. Let him have an equal say in the wedding planning if he wants to play an active role. If you both end up having different priorities and do not see eye to eye, you should not automatically assume your priorities are more important than your groom’s. Sit down and have an honest chat on why these priorities are important to you and see if you can meet halfway.

7. Focus on what matters most – your marriage

Eunice and Daniel’s Intimate Pre-Wedding Shoot in the Romantic and Magical Wilderness by Hey Stranger

It’s undeniable that a wedding is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and understandable why so many brides want it to be perfect. But in their quest to plan the wedding of their dreams, they forget what really matters most – their marriage.

Just because you didn’t have the wedding of your dreams doesn’t mean your marriage won’t be ideal. Likewise, just because you had a perfect wedding doesn’t automatically mean your marriage is going to be same. So, don’t hold on to grudges or start something that damages your relationship over something as minor as your wedding as compared to the bigger picture that is your marriage.

Instead, focus on what truly matters most at the end of the day – your marriage. Use your wedding planning as a way to get to know your partner better and learn how to give-and-take. Take a break from your wedding planning from time to time so you can reconnect as a couple to do the things you love and relax together without talking or thinking about your wedding. This time-off from the wedding planning will also remind you of what you love about each other and strengthen your bond, paving the road to a successful marriage.

Feature Image from Amelia and William’s Dreamy Destination Pre-Wedding Adventure in Indonesia by Fire, Wood & Earth.

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7 Easy Ways to Avoid Pre-Wedding Fights With Your Love