Wives of pilots?
- Thread starter wifetobe
- Start date
lyndy,
it would be nice to lead a student's life forever, but something or someone's gotta give. either your parents work their lives to give u that life, or u find other parents' son.
now that u have found a guy to give u that life, u find ways not to lose this guy - by controlling him?
do u realise that u're placing solutions in Other Pple's hands INSTEAD of taking them upon yourself?
i would love life to offer me solutions of a rich father but my dad died when i was poor. i would love life to offer me solutions of a rich wife, basically life might be more fun for me if i could just be a bum and have pple around support the bum in me.
but then it's not too bad once u start taking charge of your own life and finding solutions WITHIN YOURSELF.
u're just one of those pple who are so afraid of blaming yourself that u give yourself absolutely no chance of that ever happening... by pushing your entire happiness into other pples hands. everything blame others and push to others w3hilst u remain faultless.
when are u ever gonna start taking responsibility for yourself and admitting that u're weak and need help?
it would be nice to lead a student's life forever, but something or someone's gotta give. either your parents work their lives to give u that life, or u find other parents' son.
now that u have found a guy to give u that life, u find ways not to lose this guy - by controlling him?
do u realise that u're placing solutions in Other Pple's hands INSTEAD of taking them upon yourself?
i would love life to offer me solutions of a rich father but my dad died when i was poor. i would love life to offer me solutions of a rich wife, basically life might be more fun for me if i could just be a bum and have pple around support the bum in me.
but then it's not too bad once u start taking charge of your own life and finding solutions WITHIN YOURSELF.
u're just one of those pple who are so afraid of blaming yourself that u give yourself absolutely no chance of that ever happening... by pushing your entire happiness into other pples hands. everything blame others and push to others w3hilst u remain faultless.
when are u ever gonna start taking responsibility for yourself and admitting that u're weak and need help?
sgbabydoll
Active Member
I am happy because I am capable of being happy. It is really that simple.
Joyous, I think the reason why some women feel they stand to become bigger loser should the marriage fails is because they centre their life around one man.
Lyndy, you place your happiness onto the hands of others, so you are basically being led around by your nose.
Joyous, I think the reason why some women feel they stand to become bigger loser should the marriage fails is because they centre their life around one man.
Lyndy, you place your happiness onto the hands of others, so you are basically being led around by your nose.
studentoflife
New Member
Lyndy if this insecurity is inherent in you no matter who u married, be it a houseman or pilot of fried carrot cake hawker you will find 101 reason for him to "F" around.
on the contrary, i think i've taken a rather pro-active approach.
And no, this is not insecurity. I would prefer to think it's taking precaution.
If i were insecure, I would not have allowed him to even apply for the job, because he asked me for my permission & I helped him alot with the interviews.
And no, this is not insecurity. I would prefer to think it's taking precaution.
If i were insecure, I would not have allowed him to even apply for the job, because he asked me for my permission & I helped him alot with the interviews.
my_desired_happiness
New Member
when u try to control ur husband's movements and is dependent on his good behavior to feel secure and thus happy?
we shld be in control of our own happiness and not derive happiness fr what others can give us, which in ur case is ur hubby's freedom.
we shld be in control of our own happiness and not derive happiness fr what others can give us, which in ur case is ur hubby's freedom.
it's when u need others to do things in a certain way, to your liking and preference, for u to derive happiness. it's when u need to depend on others More than on yourself.
ie "i used to be a truly happy person as an undergrad. when i had all the time in the world to r & r. i could spend the whole morning in the gym. then take a nap and head off to my club for a late afternoon swim. i could exercise for 4 hours/day & still more time to spare for more r & r."
- who can give u this now? for u to do this Now, u either gotta strike toto or depend on others... and if u have neither, Who can give u this if not for yourself? U can't look back, and neither can u look into the future without a pinch of reality in it. if assuming your job is the problem then u can change it, if assuming u simply dun wanna work - well, yeah gotta be a tai tai liao...
if u wanna be a tai tai, then u also gotta realise the pitfalls... cos u will not be forever youthful looking and pretty. nobody is gonna feed u, clothe u and give u pocket money when u're well into your adulthood, tat sounds more like having another offspring. Unless u find an absolute gem of a guy which, sooner or later, he's gonna wonder why he picked u when he had a world of choices.
what makes u a gem to deserve a gem? and if u were a gem, would u by any means able to stay a gem if u end up a bum who tries to control and restrict such a gem of a man? the lost commodity here is likely to be Respect. that is what u're likely to lose, will u be prepared for that?
if i made my wife a tai tai and give her 10k to spend every month, the respect i will have for her may slowly be corroded... especially if i'm bringing in all the money whilst she's spending it whiling time away... think the 10k is put to better use for charities, or i can have 2 younger girls at 5k per month each.
if u're not actively seeking happiness for yourself, and placing the onus on yourself to do that. then isn't it Not in your hands? then isn't it in other pple's hands?
ie "i used to be a truly happy person as an undergrad. when i had all the time in the world to r & r. i could spend the whole morning in the gym. then take a nap and head off to my club for a late afternoon swim. i could exercise for 4 hours/day & still more time to spare for more r & r."
- who can give u this now? for u to do this Now, u either gotta strike toto or depend on others... and if u have neither, Who can give u this if not for yourself? U can't look back, and neither can u look into the future without a pinch of reality in it. if assuming your job is the problem then u can change it, if assuming u simply dun wanna work - well, yeah gotta be a tai tai liao...
if u wanna be a tai tai, then u also gotta realise the pitfalls... cos u will not be forever youthful looking and pretty. nobody is gonna feed u, clothe u and give u pocket money when u're well into your adulthood, tat sounds more like having another offspring. Unless u find an absolute gem of a guy which, sooner or later, he's gonna wonder why he picked u when he had a world of choices.
what makes u a gem to deserve a gem? and if u were a gem, would u by any means able to stay a gem if u end up a bum who tries to control and restrict such a gem of a man? the lost commodity here is likely to be Respect. that is what u're likely to lose, will u be prepared for that?
if i made my wife a tai tai and give her 10k to spend every month, the respect i will have for her may slowly be corroded... especially if i'm bringing in all the money whilst she's spending it whiling time away... think the 10k is put to better use for charities, or i can have 2 younger girls at 5k per month each.
if u're not actively seeking happiness for yourself, and placing the onus on yourself to do that. then isn't it Not in your hands? then isn't it in other pple's hands?
Hi there,
Is this thread still on ? My bf also juz joined as a cadet pilot. I am also worried abt us. We had been together for almost 3 yrs. I actually had a failed marriage once and my ex cheated on me. So with the high risk with a pilot, my insecurity or fear comes in me again. I dun really trust guys that easiy.
Anyone can advise me .
Is this thread still on ? My bf also juz joined as a cadet pilot. I am also worried abt us. We had been together for almost 3 yrs. I actually had a failed marriage once and my ex cheated on me. So with the high risk with a pilot, my insecurity or fear comes in me again. I dun really trust guys that easiy.
Anyone can advise me .
Hi Onizuka,
Its just that the occupation had a higher risk. My bf also told me his instructor told them that 90% of rs will break up and married will divorced. Sound so scary ...............
Although I have faith in my bf but the fear still does exist.
Dun know if I am juz scaring myself.
Its just that the occupation had a higher risk. My bf also told me his instructor told them that 90% of rs will break up and married will divorced. Sound so scary ...............
Although I have faith in my bf but the fear still does exist.
Dun know if I am juz scaring myself.
green_tranquility
New Member
Nicky,
Remember your r/s may turn out to be in the 10% sucessful ones
Remember your r/s may turn out to be in the 10% sucessful ones
most instructors are simply, just flight instructors, with no flying experience. it's usually after serving out their contracts as instructors, then they may be offered flying contracts with silk air / sia cargo.
so, how did he get the stats? thru the grape vine that was prob sensationalised.
frankly, i'm fed up with the pple who have never been/are not/no longer in the line sensationalising everything. bcos, when i actually talk to pple who r currently pilots/stewardesses, quite a different picture is painted.
so, how did he get the stats? thru the grape vine that was prob sensationalised.
frankly, i'm fed up with the pple who have never been/are not/no longer in the line sensationalising everything. bcos, when i actually talk to pple who r currently pilots/stewardesses, quite a different picture is painted.
didn't know that some occupations carry a higher 'risk' than others .. frankly if one wants to stray, it doesn't matter what profession, what age and where la ..
like that, i supposed then that my husband's profession also belongs to the high risk category .. just on the last work trip, he stayed at a hotel where all the lufthansa crew were staying at .. wow, 7 days in the same hotel as them, chance meeting in the common hotel area a few times and then he has his own room - anything could have happened .. *roll eyes* ..
please have higher regard for yourself .. nothing good will come out of it, if you keep pinpointing to a crack that was not there in the first place.
like that, i supposed then that my husband's profession also belongs to the high risk category .. just on the last work trip, he stayed at a hotel where all the lufthansa crew were staying at .. wow, 7 days in the same hotel as them, chance meeting in the common hotel area a few times and then he has his own room - anything could have happened .. *roll eyes* ..
please have higher regard for yourself .. nothing good will come out of it, if you keep pinpointing to a crack that was not there in the first place.
Hi,
Thanks for all the advise. What can we actually do but juz trust in them and hope to be in the 10% sucessful r/s.
Well I did talk to my bf, he said he is cargo pilot will be flying with animals, chemicals where got ladies to be with him ......... ha ha !
Think its juz me that has no faith in him.
I am so glad to have this thread here.
Thanks for all the advise. What can we actually do but juz trust in them and hope to be in the 10% sucessful r/s.
Well I did talk to my bf, he said he is cargo pilot will be flying with animals, chemicals where got ladies to be with him ......... ha ha !
Think its juz me that has no faith in him.
I am so glad to have this thread here.
hi lyndy,
I am an ex-SIA stewardess. I met my HB when he was a 2nd officer. Our ROM was 3 yrs ago. Recently he told me he has lost his feelings for me & that he doesn't like married life at all. I found out that he's having an affair with a stewardess although he says it's not the reason for wanting to end our marriage.
I am hurt and angry. I blame myself for being diagnosed with cancer 1 year into our marriage and had caused my marriage breakdown.
Just wanna let you know that I didn't set rules like yours for my HB. If they want to cheat, they will cheat, with rules or without. The temptation is too great, they see pretty flirty gals day in and day out.
I am an ex-SIA stewardess. I met my HB when he was a 2nd officer. Our ROM was 3 yrs ago. Recently he told me he has lost his feelings for me & that he doesn't like married life at all. I found out that he's having an affair with a stewardess although he says it's not the reason for wanting to end our marriage.
I am hurt and angry. I blame myself for being diagnosed with cancer 1 year into our marriage and had caused my marriage breakdown.
Just wanna let you know that I didn't set rules like yours for my HB. If they want to cheat, they will cheat, with rules or without. The temptation is too great, they see pretty flirty gals day in and day out.
irenepeh80
New Member
hi C Shell,
pls do not blame yourself. It got nothing to do with you. You also dun wan to have cancer.
Be strong
pls do not blame yourself. It got nothing to do with you. You also dun wan to have cancer.
Be strong
hi CShell,
It's not your fault to be dignosed with cancer, so don't blame yourself for causing the marriage breakdown.
As you were an ex-stewardess before, you know the temptation is too great. So even if without cancer, your HB might not be able to resist the temptation to stray.
My HB is also a pilot with SIA so I can understand your feelings and the temptations they faced.
What are you gonna do now? You have to be strong to live better. It' easy to say that but I know sometimes it's quite difficult to do that.
"JIA YOU"
It's not your fault to be dignosed with cancer, so don't blame yourself for causing the marriage breakdown.
As you were an ex-stewardess before, you know the temptation is too great. So even if without cancer, your HB might not be able to resist the temptation to stray.
My HB is also a pilot with SIA so I can understand your feelings and the temptations they faced.
What are you gonna do now? You have to be strong to live better. It' easy to say that but I know sometimes it's quite difficult to do that.
"JIA YOU"
Hi Joyous,
I do agree to some points that women got more to lose especially after we gave up our jobs to be a full-time mother. I sometimes do feel "cut-off" from the world outside cos our life will be mostly centred around our kids & our husband only. So I'm trying to widen my social circle.
Wanna be friends with me?
Cheers.
I do agree to some points that women got more to lose especially after we gave up our jobs to be a full-time mother. I sometimes do feel "cut-off" from the world outside cos our life will be mostly centred around our kids & our husband only. So I'm trying to widen my social circle.
Wanna be friends with me?
Cheers.
may_be_divorced_soon
New Member
Just heard over radio today that the monetary value of a housewife's job is $45k per annum. So SAHMs can try their luck to demand this amount from their hb. Good luck trying!
My bf is a first officer and i believe that TRUST is very important. I don't question him neither do i restrict him from doing things. Like many of you have posted here, be it if a person is a pilot or working in a normal working environment, he can still go astray if he wants to. In fact, i have heard stories of wives/girlfriends going astray because their partners are often out of town.
in life, there's many paths we can choose to take... and in taking these paths, there's many factors we should decide on... most times, what we want Should match what we choose.
if u marry a playboy hoping to tie him down with marriage, it is a risk u KNOWINGLY took.
if u marry a pilot in an environment surrounded by supposedly pretty girls, it is a choice u KNOWINGLY made.
if u marry a poor man and believe in him out of love, it is a choice u made HOPEFULLY.
we should not use pple's professions against them when they had been in that profession when we first met.
lastly, whilst i think it's noble and sometimes a necessity to set aside one's career to be a full-time mother, i would also like to point out that it's a difference when u think u gave up something really promising, and when u simply gave up a job. i have no doubts on the sacrifice, but i do meet ladies who would never have actually been much of a high-flyer in the first place, and the opportunity-costs lost... perhaps being a SAHM is a better way to saying that one is lazy.
politically-incorrect i know, but seriously, some would never have seen the 45k per annum pay for another 3-5yrs in the first place. whilst i have my respect for SAHM's, i think it's not wise to glorify the worth Becos there are good SAHMs and there are bad ones... there are efficient ones and there are lazy ones...
for 45k, a man can have 3 part-time mistresses without a kid and still be swinging... not forgetting the savings from housing, wedding etc which can be added to the equation... so pls dun kid ourselves into thinking we're worth more than we actually are. just becos your peers are earning 8-10k a month does not mean u take that as a gauge of where u Could've been... most pple have a tendency to gauge this way. be honest to ourselves...
Lastly, when pple stray, attribute it to the person. becos it is a Choice of the person, not a choice of his profession. attributing it to his profession is basically shifting blame away from him... and if u are so keen to attribute to his profession, u might as well have avoided this profession altogether...
dun just talk... Think.
if u marry a playboy hoping to tie him down with marriage, it is a risk u KNOWINGLY took.
if u marry a pilot in an environment surrounded by supposedly pretty girls, it is a choice u KNOWINGLY made.
if u marry a poor man and believe in him out of love, it is a choice u made HOPEFULLY.
we should not use pple's professions against them when they had been in that profession when we first met.
lastly, whilst i think it's noble and sometimes a necessity to set aside one's career to be a full-time mother, i would also like to point out that it's a difference when u think u gave up something really promising, and when u simply gave up a job. i have no doubts on the sacrifice, but i do meet ladies who would never have actually been much of a high-flyer in the first place, and the opportunity-costs lost... perhaps being a SAHM is a better way to saying that one is lazy.
politically-incorrect i know, but seriously, some would never have seen the 45k per annum pay for another 3-5yrs in the first place. whilst i have my respect for SAHM's, i think it's not wise to glorify the worth Becos there are good SAHMs and there are bad ones... there are efficient ones and there are lazy ones...
for 45k, a man can have 3 part-time mistresses without a kid and still be swinging... not forgetting the savings from housing, wedding etc which can be added to the equation... so pls dun kid ourselves into thinking we're worth more than we actually are. just becos your peers are earning 8-10k a month does not mean u take that as a gauge of where u Could've been... most pple have a tendency to gauge this way. be honest to ourselves...
Lastly, when pple stray, attribute it to the person. becos it is a Choice of the person, not a choice of his profession. attributing it to his profession is basically shifting blame away from him... and if u are so keen to attribute to his profession, u might as well have avoided this profession altogether...
dun just talk... Think.
italianosportivo
Member
You mean Jandakot Airport. You can visit, but not the bunk. You need access (unless ), well my time cannot not sure about now... Meet somewhere in town. Can book a decent hotel like IBIS or something.
If he is there, it could be immediate that their sortie starts. Their flying schedule depends on their Flying Instructors... Oh, also depends on their Ground Instructor if any lessons, he may not be flying but may have school to attend. It's all at Jandakot Airport. FYI.
Weekend is fine, weekdays unless night flight which normally ends latest around 9 to 10pm and depends on the traffic and Flying Instructor so you have to ask him the schedule... It's weekly rooster.
And Perth life is dead after 6pm - 7pm. So plan well.
), well my time cannot not sure about now... Meet somewhere in town. Can book a decent hotel like IBIS or something. If he is there, it could be immediate that their sortie starts. Their flying schedule depends on their Flying Instructors... Oh, also depends on their Ground Instructor if any lessons, he may not be flying but may have school to attend. It's all at Jandakot Airport. FYI.
Weekend is fine, weekdays unless night flight which normally ends latest around 9 to 10pm and depends on the traffic and Flying Instructor so you have to ask him the schedule... It's weekly rooster.
And Perth life is dead after 6pm - 7pm. So plan well.
Why is this even a topic of discussion?
I was previously a Flight Stewardess and at times I have long haoul flights, I could be away from my then bf (now hubby) for 2 weeks in a stretch. My hubby is an ex pilot and that's how we met. We were with the same airline for only 3 months before he left and I was still flying.
Does this mean people in the airline industry are deprieved of trust from their spouses/partners?
Sheesh.. you're not even married to him yet and have doubts. Respect the profession for goodness sake! It's what the job entails - to travel. And yes, there are temptations around, but he PROPOSED to YOU and not anyone else.
Have some confidence!
I was previously a Flight Stewardess and at times I have long haoul flights, I could be away from my then bf (now hubby) for 2 weeks in a stretch. My hubby is an ex pilot and that's how we met. We were with the same airline for only 3 months before he left and I was still flying.
Does this mean people in the airline industry are deprieved of trust from their spouses/partners?
Sheesh.. you're not even married to him yet and have doubts. Respect the profession for goodness sake! It's what the job entails - to travel. And yes, there are temptations around, but he PROPOSED to YOU and not anyone else.
Have some confidence!
Peanutpeanutjelly
New Member
Hii! Anybody still active in this post?
Hello! Is this thread active for restarts?
Wife of pilot here, would like to ask if you guys have full knowledge to how he spends his money? You know how bills have gone paperless and digital in recent years, so I'm just wondering if that's being taken for granted. Yes, I'm suspicious of some things but I'm not sure if I should catch it. He has however, been paying for the household..... kids, lifestyle etc.
I also work, so our off days are very different, and I'm also wondering what's he doing during time off. I am also not sure of how to thinnk of him always not being around, overseas and enjoying while I am the opposite. This was not a problem when we first got married...
Wife of pilot here, would like to ask if you guys have full knowledge to how he spends his money? You know how bills have gone paperless and digital in recent years, so I'm just wondering if that's being taken for granted. Yes, I'm suspicious of some things but I'm not sure if I should catch it. He has however, been paying for the household..... kids, lifestyle etc.
I also work, so our off days are very different, and I'm also wondering what's he doing during time off. I am also not sure of how to thinnk of him always not being around, overseas and enjoying while I am the opposite. This was not a problem when we first got married...
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middaydreams
New Member
Hello!
I'm also wife of a pilot, and yes I have full knowledge of how he spends his money.. Because I am the supp card holder and I am always around and I am better with numbers so I handle the bank statements and the credit card statements. It's online, but I have his password and token =)
Ask him what he does on his off days? is he with a legacy carrier or budget? I know my hb plays computer games at home mostly or watches tv or sleeps.. he spends a lot of time sleeping.. When we first got married i also had so much issues, couldn't trust him, etc especially when i see he always hang out with his crew when they go to those exotic (further) places..
Pilot or not, keep your eye on your husband. A married pilot friend tell to me he got fling while away overseas during rsaf days before. He also tried on me but I siam.
Trust yes but better be safe than sorry. Dont overdo it until become paranoid and annoying la, just be aware. Man left alone too long will get lonely and have wandering eye.
Trust yes but better be safe than sorry. Dont overdo it until become paranoid and annoying la, just be aware. Man left alone too long will get lonely and have wandering eye.
beaverjuice
Member
Must do stock-take frequently too ...
