Wife cheated on me...

[Autumnrain]

Hi Foolishguy & Sadguy,

It's nice to know good guys like you still exist. I'm going through a very tough timenow and for the past 1 year. Been married for 4 years and been together for 9 years, 5 years of courtship never revealed to me his true character. He cheated for quite some time and when I found out he wanted a divorce. Same time I found out I was pregnant. Lost the baby due to the stress. He is wanting the divorce adamantly but it's me who is holding on. I feel lost. Sad. Wondering what's going to happen to the house and my future.

He has become very money minded whereas I came from a rental house background and could treasure the happiness that money can't buy. He is doing well in his business now so he decide he wants to be single. Lost all my hopes of starting a family and just feeling lost...

 

[gladjo]

Autumnrain

Sorry to hear this... stay positive cos there are better man outside.

But immediate now is you hv to let him go..no point fighting to keep the relationship.

For divorce..i can offer you my assistant as i fought my own n hv now made alot of legal acquaintanences .. this will take care of divorce cost as i know where n when n at which part of divorce proceedings how to tackle n trim. Feel free to PM me.

PM me..i tell you more about house and all. Dun worry .. u will realise your life is better off without scumbags like him.

 

[meiji5]

Hi Foolishguy & Sadguy,

It's nice to know good guys like you still exist. I'm going through a very tough timenow and for the past 1 year. Been married for 4 years and been together for 9 years, 5 years of courtship never revealed to me his true character. He cheated for quite some time and when I found out he wanted a divorce. Same time I found out I was pregnant. Lost the baby due to the stress. He is wanting the divorce adamantly but it's me who is holding on. I feel lost. Sad. Wondering what's going to happen to the house and my future.

He has become very money minded whereas I came from a rental house background and could treasure the happiness that money can't buy. He is doing well in his business now so he decide he wants to be single. Lost all my hopes of starting a family and just feeling lost...

Hi Autumnrain,

Sorry to hear what you went through. I have been through something similar (minus the cheating because I wasn't able to find any trace of it but it could have been possible). Together for 12 years (8 years of dating, 4 years of marriage) plus 3 years of separation, 15 years!!! Everything went downhill when I had a miscarriage.

I also held on like you did. It took my mom to make me really snap me out of it and I'm grateful that she did. Her exact words to me was "Why do you still want to be with this man who doesn't love you anymore?"
It really was an eye-opener for me and there and then I decided to let go.

You really need to be strong for yourself and surround yourself with close friends and family. That's how I managed to pull through. My friends were so supportive and they kept checking in on me, my family was supportive too even though they live in Malaysia. Technically, I was on my own after my marriage broke down. I learned to accept and live with my loneliness but I was also having so much freedom to do what I wanted to do without having to think of anyone else.

Right now, my divorce is already in process (after having to wait 3 freaking years) and I feel I'm in such a better place. Although my house is being transferred to him (he is buying my shares) and I have no house to stay in after my name is removed, I'm still optimistic that I'll be able to find something suitable for myself. Just gotta start doing a lot of de-cluttering and try my best to fit my past 5 years into 2-3 boxes.

It's not a good idea to hold on to him especially now that he says he wants to be single (exactly what my ex said).
It will take time but you'll get there. Hope you can start to heal and love yourself more.